In this sermon, the speaker emphasizes the importance of wisdom in relationships, particularly in the context of marriage. He shares a story about the sun and the wind competing to see who could get a man to take off his coat, illustrating that wisdom is more powerful than strength. The speaker also addresses the issue of women being suppressed in churches and urges brothers to repent for their role in this. He concludes by highlighting the significance of building a godly home and encourages spouses to warm each other with love rather than resorting to shouting and yelling.

We want to talk today about building a godly home. There was not much emphasis on the home in the old covenant. You don't read instructions there about much about husbands and wives, how they have to relate to each other. A few instructions on how to bring up children. But the testimony of the home is not, was not considered a very important thing. Under the old covenant, it was the total testimony of the nation of Israel. And all that God said was He wanted godly children. But once we move into the new covenant, there's a tremendous emphasis on the home. Jesus very often went to homes. The most wonderful example of all, it says in Ephesians 5, that the relationship between Christ and the church is to be demonstrated in homes. Do you know that as a husband and wife, you're supposed to demonstrate to the world around you the relationship between Christ and the church? That's in Ephesians 5. You know that passage very well. Verse 23 onwards. How a husband must relate to his wife exactly like Christ relates to the church. And how a wife must relate to her husband exactly like the church relates to Christ. And there's a lot of misunderstanding here, a lot of false understanding. You know, I went to many, many churches in my life. And throughout all these places and many different churches in India that I attended, never once in all my life in all those churches did I attend a meeting where the meeting was for husbands and wives and parents instructing them. In our churches, it's become a regular feature in every conference to have meetings for husbands and wives. Some of you who have only grown up in the church take 101 things for granted. You know, many times I wish that children who have grown up in our church would go outside and be in another church for two years. They'll come back with such fantastic gratitude. Even some grown up people here, they need once in a while to go for two years somewhere else. Sometimes when I've had to discipline somebody in this church in past years, I've told them, stay away from the church for two months, and they've realized what they've missed. Two months is enough. We must never take the church and all that we receive in the church for granted as though we deserve these things. God has revealed to us some of the greatest truths that in most other churches they never hear. They are missing messages concerning the Christian home. And if you take it lightly, I want to tell you, you're going to be the loser. It's the ones who are really grateful and thankful for the church who build the best homes. And if you're not building a good home, begin to ask yourself, are you thankful for the church? Do you teach your children to be thankful for the church? All of us want our children to grow up well, sure. That doesn't mean anything. Even the godless people in the world want their children to grow up well. That doesn't mean you're a godly person. But when you don't criticize people in your home, when you don't criticize other members of the church in your home, but seek to teach your children to value them, that's the way your children will grow up. If they sense, and you don't have to speak anything. You know, children have got a sense to pick up what their parents feel. And I've seen that through the years here to different people, some who are still here and some who have left, at least in Bangalore. I've seen why some children in the days when they were in their home do not develop the way they should because they sensed something in their parents of a critical attitude towards either the elders of the church or some people in the church. And you may have said nothing. The children picked it up. Who's the loser? Not the church. You. Aren't you the loser when your children are not wholehearted disciples? Is it God's will that any of our children should be halfhearted? Is it God's will that any of our children should be unconverted? No. If they are, my dear brothers and sisters, be like the thief on the cross and say, I am to blame. Don't blame it on circumstances and situations and other things. You perhaps have been critical, judgmental, either both husband and wife or one of them. Now, I'll tell you something. Every situation can be redeemed. That's the good news. Whatever your failure may be in the past, it can be resolved and solved, but only if you first acknowledge your iniquity. If you try to cover it up, you know there are some people who do something wrong to you and they'll never come and apologize. They'll come to you and say, Oh, hello. Everything is nice. They act as if nothing is wrong. Such people have never settled the matter because they never apologized for the wrong they did. And just because they act nice and the other person is gracious enough to act nice to you doesn't mean it's settled. A hundred years later, when you stand at the judgment seat of Christ, it'll come up. Say, You never apologized. Oh, but we behaved nicely. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, but you never apologized for the wrong you did. Acknowledge your iniquity. Just because somebody else is gracious enough to overlook and forgive you doesn't mean that everything is okay. God helps us when He sees that we humble ourselves like the thief on the cross and say, I am to blame. Otherwise, like Adam, we cover it all up and pretend that everything is okay. I just want to say those words in introduction because that was the problem with our forefather Adam. He couldn't take the blame for his own sin. Jesus, on the other hand, took the blame for the sins of the whole world. Be like Jesus, not like Adam. That's one of the fundamental principles of a marriage. If you're a father and you made a mistake, tell your children, I'm sorry for what I did. That was my mistake. And submission is something that begins with God. And so the relationship, you know, many in our, we are, some parts of our Bible are torn out because we are influenced by our culture. So we want to think of the husband and the wife and children. These are three things we want to think about. The first law of God or principle of God in marriage is the one commandment in the Bible that is written before sin came into the world. You know when sin came into the world, it was Genesis chapter 3. But there's only one commandment in the Bible, only one, given before sin came into the world. And that's not the commandment to Adam because that doesn't apply to us. There's another commandment for us. The only commandment in the Bible before sin came into the world. And that commandment is in the Genesis 2.24 which says, A man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife and they shall become one flesh. And that was written at a time when Adam did not have a father and mother. So who was it written for? It wasn't written for Adam. It was written for us. Therefore shall a man leave his father and mother and cleave unto his wife. And in Psalm 45 and verse 10, it says, Listen, O daughter, to the wife. Give attention. Forget your people and your father's house. So will your bridegroom, the king, desire your beauty. So there's a word for men and there's a word for women. Forget your father's house. That doesn't mean don't care for your parents. It means forget your attachment to them now. It doesn't mean a husband should not care for his parents. It means you should leave them emotionally be attached to your wife. When it says to the wife, forget your father's house, it doesn't mean you don't care for them. It means you're now not attached to them. You're attached to your... You know, I'll tell you this. If you don't obey God's laws, you're going to not have a proper foundation for your marriage. And a lot of unhappy homes in India particularly, are because people don't obey this law. In Western countries, they leave their father and mother pretty early, long before they're married. But they have other problems which cause divorce there. We come to later. But in India, one of the first problems is that when people get married, there's very little attachment to one another. It's probably because a lot of marriages are arranged. But arranged or not arranged, once you're married, your wife must be first, not your parents. Your parents may have more wisdom and it's nothing wrong in consulting them, but decisions must be taken between you and your wife, between you and your husband. And you have to say, now I'm... If you don't start from day one like that, now I'm not attached to my parents. I love them. I care for them. If they're in need, I'll help them. And if they're in financial need, you must send them money. They took care of you when you were in financial need as a baby and as a student. It's absolutely righteous for you to take care of them when they're old and they're in financial need, sure. But other than that, your attachment must not be to them. Your attachment must be to your wife. And sisters, if you're married, your attachment must be to your husband. Now you can listen to this, but do you see a lack in your own life? Do you feel that you've not done that so far? Do you feel that your wife feels that you're more attached to your parents than to her? Does your husband feel that you're more attached to your parents, sisters, than to him? How do they sense that? They sense that. You can theoretically say, no, no, no, I'm attached to you. But it's not a question of theory. It's a question of an actual practice. Is your husband first in your thinking? Is your wife first? It must be like that in human relationships. And the reason why it's not like that, let me tell you this, the reason why it is not like that is because most, even Christians in India, do not fear God enough to obey His laws. When I got married, the reason I decided that I'd be emotionally attached to my wife more than my parents was because I feared God and I respected His laws. And I want to say, I've been married 38 years and I'm very happily married. You obey God's laws, it only goes well with you. There's a verse in the Old Testament, I think it's Deuteronomy 4, which says, God says, Oh, oh, can you imagine God saying, Oh, oh, that my people would keep my laws so that it can go well with them. It's the cry of a father seeing his children mess up their life and saying, I wish they would listen to me. I wish they would know that I as God who ordained marriage know better than them what is good for them, that they won't be so stupid to think that they know better than me. When I tell them, leave father and mother, it's for their good. When I tell them, forget your father's house, it's for their good. But they are so stupid and proud, they think they know better than me. God says, Oh, I feel sad for them because I know they're going to mess up their life. And once you've messed up your life, it's so difficult to restore it. There's a saying in the world, prevention is better than cure. It's always better to prevent something than after creating a mess to try and solve it. So right from the beginning, those of you who are newly married are extremely lucky to hear these things from day one. Be attached to your wife, be attached to your husband more than to your relatives. By all means, care for them, help them, but remember Jesus. For 30 years, he was at home and one day he left home. It was like getting married to his father now. And then when his mother came in the marriage of Kena, he said, Woman, what have I got to do with you? His mother was absolutely shocked. Is this the one who always said, Yes, mummy, yes mummy, yes mummy for 30 years? Now turning around and saying, Woman, what have I to do with you? Jesus is our example. You can't be more spiritual than Jesus. Put God first. You'll have a very happy marriage if you obey his laws. In Genesis chapter 1, before Genesis, Genesis chapter 2, the earlier part of Genesis chapter 2, you see that God made Adam and Eve separately. He could have made them together. He could have made two lumps of mud, made two man and woman and breathed into both of them. Immediately they see each other. Why didn't he do it like that? He made Adam all alone. And you know he made Eve some hours later because Adam, after he was made, he had to name all the animals and birds. Can you imagine how long that took? I mean he must have done it at a pretty high speed because he was such an intelligent man. But still it took some hours. It's only after that that Eve was created. So during those hours when Adam was alone without a wife, who did he have? Holy God. And God was trying to tell Adam, You know, your number one necessity in life is me. I'm your number one necessity. Never forget that. And value me more than your wife. That's important. And then some hours later he made Eve. And she was also alone with him, with God for some time before God took her to Adam and said, she never even knew there's such a person called Adam. So the lesson we learn from that is God wants to have a personal relationship with you. The first thing in the morning he wants to meet with you before you meet your wife. First thing in the morning, sisters, he wants to meet with you before you meet your husband. Not just in terms of time, but in terms of priorities more important. That in my priority God is first. Then my husband. Then my wife. Then parents, relatives after that. So it's all a question of priority. You know, we don't put the roof underneath and the foundation on top. Don't do that. It'll be an upside down house and many homes are upside down because God is not on top. God is in some corner. Parents are on top. In between are the husband and wife. It's all upside down in our homes, in many, many homes. But then you'll have an upside down relationship. But if you follow God's laws of building the home, it's like building a house, put the foundation underneath and the roof on top. So put priorities, put that which is most important. And you have to leave before you can cleave. And if the leaving of parents is improper, the cleaving will also be improper. Remember that. If you have made a mistake in the past, now is the time to rectify it. It's not too late. You can start now and say, Well, I want Jesus to be between me and my husband, me and my wife. And I want to have a very happy relationship. I also want to say this now. I want to say something about the leadership of the head. The husband is the head of the wife. We need to understand how that is. Like someone has said, God took Eve from a rib, from Adam's side, not from his head, not from a bone in his head to rule over him, not from a bone in his feet so that he rules over her, but from a rib from his side, so that she will be close to his side, close to his heart, equal to him. And yet he is the head. How is he the head? Please turn to 1 Corinthians chapter 11. If you want to understand the headship of the husband, you've got to get rid of Indian culture from your mind. And I'll tell you, that is much more difficult than you think. It's not easy to get rid of our culture. We have a lot of influence of our culture in our thinking. And I tell you, that's what will destroy your marriage. Maybe you've seen your parents, how they're related to each other. Please don't follow them. One of the great areas where I tell our generation of people not to follow your parents is particularly in the way you bring up your children. Most of you will have to say your dad was not your friend. He was a person to be respected and revered at home, but not your friend. Not one with whom you could joke and laugh and with whom you could talk about sexual matters and all that. How many of you can say you talked to your dad about sexual matters and laughed and joked with him? Maybe laughed and joked with some of your dads, but sexual matters you don't talk to them. To whom do you talk about sexual matters? To your dirty friends in college. Don't continue that into the next generation. Parents must be friends to their children. If their children have sexual problems, they should talk to you. That's how God intended it. That's one example of culture. We have a culture which has not taught us how father and son should be. Fathers don't put their arms around their son after they are a certain age. They put them around when they're one year old, two year old and all that, but once they're... I'll put my arms around my son even if they're 60 years old. Why not? I'm not an Indian, I'll tell you that. I'm an Indian second. I'm a Christian first. I'll get rid of... I'm not Western, no. I'm an Indian, but I'm an Indian second. I'm a Christian first. And I've got rid of everything in my culture which is contrary to Scripture. And that's why my personal life is happy, my ministry is happy, my home is happy. I'm happy with my children, my children are happy with me because I got rid of everything that's contrary to God's Word. I believe there are many of you who are not willing to give up your cultural attitudes. You want to please your relatives, please your parents. Brother, forget about being a Christian then. Jesus said, if you want to follow me, you got to hate father, mother, brother, sister and all those things. Forget it. Okay, 1 Corinthians 11, it says, I want you to know this, verse 3. Here is the principle of headship. How is the husband the head of the wife? Christ is the head of a man. Man is the head of a woman. And God is the head of Christ. Okay. The husband is the head of the wife, from this verse, like the father is the head of Christ. Got it? Husbands, listen carefully. You must relate to your wife exactly like the father relates to Jesus Christ. It says there in that verse. Are the father and the son equal? Yes or no? Why are you husbands so quiet? Because you know what's the next question I'm going to ask you. Are the father and son equal? Are you and your wife equal? Are you and your wife equal? Do you see how powerful culture is? It doesn't come out of your mouth. It's stuck somewhere in the throat. You know it is the truth, but you won't acknowledge it. She is not inferior to you. If you say that your wife is inferior to you, you are a Jehovah's Witness saying that Jesus is inferior to God the Father. You are in the same condition. It's serious. It's very serious. Many of you, I know, treat your wives like an inferior person, who is supposed to do all the dirty jobs, and you are supposed to be the Maharaja sitting there. That's not Christianity. Can you imagine God sitting as a Maharaja and making Jesus do all the dirty jobs? No, that's exactly. Next time you think of how you are to relate to your wife, think of the father treating the son. Don't think of some dictator in the world how he treats his subjects. That's a heathen concept. As God is the head of Christ, the man is the head of the woman. And not only that, this is in 1 Corinthians 11 relates to the church. Do you know the tremendous power of heathen culture in the church where women are treated as inferior? The brethren assemblies, they don't allow the women to pray. Somebody said that's because the church is the only place they can keep their women quiet. So they don't allow them to talk there. Do you believe in the church women are equal to men? Brothers, will you practice it in your churches? The rest of you? Get rid of brethren culture. Get rid of heathen culture. As God is the head of Christ, man is the head of woman. This is 1 Corinthians 11. And he goes on to say further down, I am giving you these instructions about how to do things in the church. Verse 16 onwards. He's talking about the church. He's talking about the breaking of bread, the veiling of the head. It's all for the church. Man is the head of the woman in the church just like God is the head of Christ. What place does Jesus have in heaven? Is he kicked into some corner in some servant's quarters? Is he told to shut his mouth and sit quietly? Why do so many brothers make sisters shut their mouth and sit quietly? They are influenced by culture. Not by the Bible. They think, oh, we follow the Bible. Rubbish. You follow Indian culture. Say that. You follow brethren culture. And do you know how much our churches have suffered because of that? Many of our young sisters have gone astray because older sisters were suppressed in your churches. And you brothers are guilty of that. And you are answerable to God. Repent. It's like God pushing Christ into a corner and saying, we don't want you to open your mouth here. And you haven't realized the seriousness of your sin because you haven't read the Bible. You were influenced by Indian culture and brethren culture. Who is suffering? The young girls in your assembly are suffering. Women who could have been reached in your area are suffering because you kept their mouth shut. They can't do anything. Because you, the great Maharaja, wanted to rule. Please humble yourself. Obey the word of God. What is headship then? Was the father the head of Christ? Absolutely. God's word says so. Jesus voluntarily chose to submit to the father. It doesn't mean he kept his mouth shut. He was speaking all the time. But he was submissive. And so must a woman be submissive. In the New Testament, Acts 2.17 is very clear that your sons and daughters will both prophesy. God wants men and women to open their mouth and encourage and bless other people in the church. And we need to see that much more. It's a battle. You know, when you try to get out of an old habit that you have practiced for 20 years, it may take a long time to get out of it. And some of you may try for 2-3 months and give up and switch back to Indian culture and brethren culture. You'll destroy your church. You'll limit your church. Your children will suffer. Mark my words. Encourage your sisters to be filled with the Holy Spirit and to prophesy according to the New Testament. Don't lead them back into the old covenant. This is one of the missing messages in our churches. Forget the missing messages in the rest of Christianity. This is the missing thing in our churches. We need to hear that. And it needs to start at home where the women are treated as equals. At the same time, the husband is still the head. Just like Jesus is my head. Not only like the Father and Christ, but it also says like Christ and man. There are two pictures here. God is the head of Christ, 1 Corinthians 11, 3. And Christ is the head of man. Man is the head of woman. In other words, my relationship with my wife is dependent on my accepting the headship of Christ in my life. If I ask my wife to do something which the Bible tells her not to do, for example, tell a lie. Please tell a lie here. She has every right to say, No, darling, I won't do that. Because your head is Christ. It's Christ who has appointed you as head of the woman. And you tell your wife to do something which Christ forbids. She goes directly to Christ and says, Sorry, I don't do it. If your husband is a non-Christian who tells you to worship an idol, you go to Christ and say, Sorry, I don't do that. Remember that. The husband is not the ruler of the universe. Sorry. I'm sorry to disappoint some of your husbands, but you've got to recognize that fact. Christ is the one who's got all authority in heaven and earth, not you. And if you wonder why your wife is not subject to you, ask yourself whether you are subject to Christ. You want your wife to be totally obedient to you? Ask yourself, Are you totally obedient to Christ first? You order your wife around. I hope you obey Christ's orders in your own life. We are such evil people. We want other people to obey us, but we don't obey the authority over us. I want to ask you brothers who've got elders in your church. Do you obey your elders? Do you respect them? No. No wonder your wife is the head of your house. You are not subject to any authority yourself. I've seen homes in our churches. It is crystal clear to me that the wife is the head of that home. The husband is a meek man, just does what his wife Jezebel says. We have a number of Jezebels in our churches. It's very sad. They don't realize they are destroying the effectiveness of their home for God. I want to tell you sisters, if you try to boss your wife, your name is Jezebel. Yeah. And your husband will be absolutely within his right to call you darling Jezebel. At least from today onwards. I give all of you brothers the authority to call your wife Jezebel if she runs your home. I don't run Christ's home, I'll tell you that. I do not run Christ's life. He runs my life. Because He's my head. And when a woman tries to run her husband's life, it's like me trying to run Christ's life. They say, Lord, you better listen to me. Who do you think you are? Can you imagine you talking to Jesus like that? Who do you think you are? When a woman talks to her husband like that, that's it. Can you imagine the stupidity and the evil of that? But, let me say, what does it mean for a husband to be the head? It's not being a dictator. It's recognizing your wife as an equal. It's subject to Christ as your head. Think of all this first before you decide to be the head of your home. And, like Jesus leads the church from the front. Jesus said, I'm a shepherd, not a hireling. The husband must lead the wife from the front. If your wife loses her temper, gets angry, don't shout at her and say, why are you getting angry? That is like a hireling whipping her from the back. No, go in front and be a shepherd and show by your life how you never get angry. And say, follow me. Not with words, but by your example. Jesus never says, come on, move on. He doesn't kick us from the back. The good shepherd goes in front of the sheep. A good husband must follow Christ's example and be the leader in the home. Go ahead. Be an example. If you want your home to be tidy, you be tidy first. Don't tell your wife to do this, that and the other. I mean, there may be gifts you don't have, like cooking, you can't cook, okay. But you must be an example in character. I'm not talking about gifts of keeping accounts or cooking like that. I'm talking about character. You must be an example to your wife by going ahead as a shepherd and she follows. That's the type of headship. Where she can see your example and follow it in meekness and humility. Yet, holding authority. Jesus was the humblest person that walked on the face of the earth. But boy, He was the head of His disciples. There was no doubt about that. If you saw the crowd of those 13 people sitting in some hillside in Galilee, Jesus and His 12 disciples, you walked into that crowd not knowing who they are. In 5 seconds you would know who is the leader. You know, there are some churches who talk about the body of Christ. They say, well, you come to our church, you don't know who is the leader. Well, there is something wrong with your church then. In a true Christian church, you recognize to whom God has given leadership. The elders are the leaders. They are appointed by God as overseers. And the Bible says in Hebrews 13, 17, you got to submit to your leaders. So people who artificially try to build a body, saying, oh, everybody does everything they like, that's not the church. That's a confusion and a chaos. So the husband must be the leader of the house. If a person comes to your house, they must know that the husband is the head. And it's wrong for a wife to do all the talking. I'll never forget many years ago, I went to a home. And I sat there for about one hour, 60 minutes. Husband and wife were both believers. The wife spoke for about 54 minutes. I spoke about four minutes. And the husband spoke two minutes. We didn't gossip, talking good things. But she did all the talking. We did all the listening. I never said anything. Because I don't judge people. They don't have light. They had newly come to the church. I went to the same house years later. It was exactly the opposite. That wife had learned to listen. That is the power of the teaching in the church. She became a much better woman. Did she sin earlier? No. She didn't have light. I hope you get light. I'm not saying you shouldn't talk. But when people come to your home, let them recognize who is the head. It's very, very important. Who is the shepherd in this home? Who is the head in this home? Who is the leader? And the best persons to ask are your children. Fathers, go and ask your children, Son, tell me honestly, who do you think is the head of the home? And don't be afraid. I won't spank you if you tell me the truth. You may get a surprise if you let them speak the truth. Then say, Daddy, you're a nice person, but I think you let mommy run the home. That's sad. Your home will not be a Christian home. Be the shepherd, be the leader, like Jesus Christ, not a dictator. Then, the head, as a head, the Bible says it's like the head of the body. The head recognizes, listen to this very carefully husbands, the head recognizes its helplessness without the body. Can the head do anything if it doesn't have a hand, doesn't have eyes, doesn't have ears? Head means the brain, by the way. Can the brain do anything without eyes, without hands, without legs, without nothing? Unless you're just sitting a brain by itself over there, you can put it in a museum. Are you that type of head? You don't care for hands, legs, eyes, anything, just the brain in a museum? Don't be a head like that. Recognize your helplessness without your wife. That's a head. I'm a head, but I can't do anything without hands, legs, eyes, and my wife is my hands and legs and eyes and ears and everything. We're to work together. That's why it's so important that you need to value your wife and care for her. Shall I tell you something about how our human physiology works? I'm not a doctor, but I'm married to one, I know a little bit. When a mosquito bites you on your left hand, how does your right hand come immediately and whack it off? Within less than a second. Do you know how it happens? There's a signal that goes up from your hand up to the head, I mean the brain. Hey, mosquito has bitten me. And the hand, the brain sends a message to the other hand, whack it off. What I'm trying to say is the head is so sensitive that even a mosquito bites the wife, he's alert to it. Is that the type of head you are? I don't mean an actual mosquito, but that when she has a small problem, a mosquito bite is a small thing, it's one of the smallest things, unless you're in a malaria ridden area, otherwise it's a very small thing. Are you sensitive to the little, I don't mean where a lion ate up her leg or something like that, I don't mean such big things, but I'm saying a small little thing that affected your wife. Do you feel it? That shows how close your connection is. Now you know, for example, if there was a lack of connection between the head and the hand because of paralysis of some nerves, of death of some nerves, like people when they have leprosy. A hundred mosquitoes can bite them, a rat can come and eat off the hand and the head is fast asleep. The hand, the rat has eaten off the hand and you know there are some husbands like that. Terrible things are happening to the wife, the husband is fast asleep or he's having wonderful fellowship with the brothers somewhere, in some church and the rat is eating off his hand. It's absolutely true. Complete insensitivity to the feelings of the wife. What type of head is that? That's like a head in a museum, brain kept in a little box in the museum for everybody to admire. This is brain. That's not the type of headship. Headship is sensitive and Jesus denied Himself, Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it and that's how a husband must care for his wife and be willing to wash her feet, do all types of dirty jobs for her, share the burden of looking after the children, share everything with her. Jesus came to the church and said, all that I have is yours. Jesus has a joint account with me, I have a joint account with my wife. All that I have is yours. It's a, you know when you are a head like this, your wife will rejoice to submit to you. Just like we rejoice to submit to Jesus Christ because He's so understanding, so compassionate. Do you ever want to take over the headship from Christ? Anybody wants to take over the headship from Christ? No. Neither will your wife ever want to take over the headship from you. If you are a responsible husband who is sensitive to her needs, being a shepherd, not out to find fault with her, criticize her, this, that and the other, but help her. Okay. The submission of the body. The wife is to be like the church submitted to Christ, just like the body is to the head, you know. It's not exactly like the body because in this sense, because the body doesn't have any will of its own. When my brain tells a hand to do something, it automatically does it. But it's more a picture like Christ and me. The Lord tells me to do something. Christ loved me. He tells me to do something, but He gives me the freedom to say yes or no. You know that. Sometimes you say no. And who's the loser? You. But there's one difference that your husband is not perfect. When Christ tells me to do something, it's a perfect person telling me to do something. And you need not have any doubt about obeying Him. But when your husband tells you to do something, remember that is not a perfect person. It's an imperfect person. And therefore, it's not exactly like we submit to Christ. Because there, God has given you as a helper, sometimes, to tell your husband, well, darling, that's not exactly right, you know. See, God has put you together so that together you can take decisions. You're like the elders in your home. Like a church has got two elders. Husband and wife are the elders of your children. And like I said yesterday, two elders balance out each other. Why did God give Barnabas to Paul and Paul to Barnabas? Because they were balancing each other. There was grace and truth together there. And when God gives a husband and wife to each other, it is so that they can balance out each other. It's like taking a photograph of a building. For example, if you took a photograph of a building from the front side there, and a photograph of this building from the back side, you'd get two completely different pictures. But it's when you put both of them together that you get the full picture of the house. You know that they say that if you had only one eye, you won't be able to see in three dimensions. You'll be able to see in two dimensions. It's two eyes that help you to see in three dimensions. And so, a man who does not ask his wife's help is like a one-eyed man. He can see, but there's tremendous limitation in what you'll be able to see. If, on the other hand, you recognize your wife's contribution, she can give you slightly different. If both eyes were here, you wouldn't get the same three-dimensional vision. Your other eye has to be a little away, and your wife has to see things from a slightly different perspective than you. Then you get a three-dimensional picture of the problem and of the solution. Encourage your wife to see things from her standpoint. Don't force her to come to the front of the building and take the picture from where you're taking it, because then you'll miss something. Those husbands who force their wives to think like them are going to miss the total picture. God has made her different. God has made her a helper, different from you, so that she can present her view and you present yours. You put it together, and you pray before God, and as you weigh those things together before God, because she's an equal heir with you on the throne of the grace of life. 1 Peter 3 says that. Ultimately, you come to a decision, which is good. I can think of many decisions that my wife and I have taken through the years for our children and our home, and I'm so thankful that I didn't take them all myself. I think my home would have been a mess if I had done that. So many things I can think of where I thought we should do it some way, and I consulted with her, and she had a different view. We would put our views together, and we did it in a different way. I didn't give up my headship, but I recognize that I can't do things without the body. The brain doesn't give up its position as the brain just because it says to the hand, I need you. As the verse in 1 Corinthians 12, the head does not say to the feet, I don't need you. And no man should ever say to his wife, I don't need you. You need her desperately, and not just to produce children, not just to have sex, not just to cook your food, or wash your clothes, but much more important than all those things, to be a partner for life together. So your wife must be like a lover. You must read Song of Solomon. I encourage all of you, husbands and wives, read Song of Solomon together. And if you are really freed from Indian culture, the husband should read the bridegroom's part, and the wife should read the bride's part, to each other. It's really exciting, I tell you that. I don't see any excitement. We are still bound by Indian culture. Okay. It will go. Just give us time. It's in scripture. Why is it, when you open the Bible right in the middle, you come into Song of Solomon, because God wanted that to be the relationship between a husband and wife. There's nothing wrong in that. And it says there about the bride, as she leans upon her beloved, and walks through life. It's a picture of how the wife lives in constant fellowship with her husband, and walks through life like that. Lovers. I'm his and he is mine. Just like we sing to the Lord. That's the relationship you should have with your husband. And as I said, your husband may be wrong in many areas. He's imperfect. And it's more difficult when a husband is imperfect. But the Bible says very clearly in 1 Peter 3, that if your husband is disobedient to God's word, you wives win him. Don't win him by preaching to him. It says win him by your behavior. It's very clear. 1 Peter 3 says, win him by your behavior. Not by your preaching. Win him by your behavior. That means as you conduct yourself respectfully, because when they observe your pure, respectful behavior and not your preaching, boy, you'll win them. You feel that your husband is disobedient in some area, you find it's difficult to submit to him. How do a lot of women submit to bosses in their office who are so evil? How many women there are working in offices today and the bosses are also wicked? But they submit to imperfect people. Why is it only at home you can't submit to an imperfect husband? And remember your husband when he goes to work has to submit to an imperfect boss there. That guy is not perfect. You think your husband's boss is a wholehearted believer? You've got to be crazy. He's not. He's a godless atheist perhaps. But your husband has to submit to him. He yells at your husband and threatens him and all that. He submits. Because the Bible says you've got to submit to authority. I mean he can do that to work. Can't you submit to an imperfect husband? In wisdom, I'm not saying you've got to do anything wrong or evil. And you should not allow somebody to destroy your personality. God has given you a personality. Don't let him destroy it. So you need to understand what I'm saying. It's very easy for these things to be misunderstood when you allow Indian culture to determine what I'm saying. Let me tell you the story of a man who got married. And his wife was a believer. And he was not a believer. And one of the first things he told her was to come with me to the cinema. Some dirty movie. And of course she didn't want to go. But she was wise. She said, OK, I'll come with you. And they sat through that two-hour movie. And she sat through the whole thing with her eyes closed, praying. And every time there was some exciting scene there, he would nudge her as if she was fast asleep. She didn't see a single thing in that movie theater. When he went back, he said to her, I'll never take you to a movie again. Was she wise? Did she rebel? Wives, be wise. Wisdom is greater than strength. Have you heard the old story of the sun and the wind had a competition? Children's story? I love to tell that story. The sun and the wind had a competition once to see who was more powerful. So how to find out? He said, there's a man walking on that road with a coat. Let's see who can get him to take his coat off. So the sun said to the wind, you try first. And the wind blew and blew to pull off his coat. But the more the wind blew, the more the man hugged his coat tight to him. The more the wind blew, the more tight he put it around him. The wind said, I give up. The sun said, okay, let me try. And the sun became hotter and hotter and hotter and hotter and hotter. And he took off his coat. Wisdom is better than strength. It's in the Bible, in the book of Ecclesiastes. Wisdom is more powerful than strength. Warm your wife with your love. And you'll get her to do more than by shouting and yelling at her like the wind. Warm your husband with your love. And he will give you the desires of your heart. That's not exactly in scripture. But you can win him. Wives, you want something? Warm him. Put your arm around him and don't just yell at him all the time. You'll get a lot more things out of your wife if you warm him like the sun instead of blowing at him like the wind as soon as he comes through the door. It's simple. So, the wife is called to be a helper to her husband. God said, I want Eve to be a helper. You sisters, did you know this? That the Bible gives you the same name as the Holy Spirit? How many of you knew that? In Genesis chapter 2, God says, I want to give Adam a helper. Genesis chapter 2, it's a helper. And in John chapter 14, Jesus said, I'm going and I will send from heaven a helper for you. Helper, the same name that God the Father gave to Eve, is given to the Holy Spirit. And I like to see that. When I'm ministering here, do you see the Holy Spirit? No. But I sense Him. The Holy Spirit is so humble that He remains invisible and lets me get all the glory when He's doing all the work. It's fantastic, isn't it, the Holy Spirit? He gives me the words to say and helps me to say it and then acts as if He's not there at all. Imagine a wife like that. Unseen, hidden behind the scenes. You know, pushing her husband up and encouraging him and blessing him, blessing him. And people think the husband's a great man. He doesn't know that the wife does a lot for him. I heard a preacher whose wife used to even write the notes for him, the sermon notes. And the way they found out was once he got stuck somewhere, he said, I can't read my wife's handwriting. Anyway, she was a good wife. Everybody thought the husband was a great preacher. So, one more verse, Proverbs 14, verse 1. It says, a wise woman builds her house. Why does it say a wise man? Why doesn't it say a wise man? Why is it a wise woman who builds her house? Because it is the woman who brings the spirit of submission into the home first. Before the children come. Who brings the spirit of submission into the home? The spirit of Christ who submitted to the Father. The woman. She gets married and she brings the spirit of submission into the home. Saturates the home with the spirit of submission. And then a child is born. And the child is born into a home like heaven. Where the husband is like a shepherd. And the wife submits. And the children grow up learning to submit. Because they've seen their mummy submit to their daddy. The best example you can be for your children. Many children don't submit to their mothers today because the mothers need to ask themselves, what do they see in my relationship with their father? The answer lies there. I want to say a few words about children and parents. You know we live in a day when many women go out to work. Neglect their homes. That's another missing message in today's Christianity. Now I believe that going to work out of necessity is one thing. A woman going to work I mean. And a woman going to work for raising one's standard of living and living at a higher standard of luxury is quite another thing. And there are situations in India where it's necessity. And in such cases God gives grace to that woman and to the home. But where God sees that these people don't have necessity. They just want to live at a higher standard. Very often you find God does not give grace there. And the children suffer. I have seen with my own eyes children of parents having lifelong suffering. They don't become godly because the mother taught the children my job is more important than you. But mummy we are earning enough. I know that but we got to learn a higher standard of living. But mummy you mean a higher standard of living is more important than you being a mother to me? Yes. I've got to do this. I've got to do that. When I get time I'll also be a mother to you. It's sad. That's the world in which we live in. On the other hand here's a mother who goes to work out of necessity. Mummy why are you going to work? You know, my dear little girl, my dear little boy, we don't earn enough in our home. So we've got to, I've got to work. I'm doing it for your sake so that I can put food on the table, get you clothes, give you an education. And that child loves the mother for all the sacrifice he made. There are two different cases all together. That's why I don't judge others. I don't judge a woman who goes to work. But you know, I'm very thankful that at a time when my wife and I were both very poor and our first son was born, I decided that, we both decided that she'll be a mother first and not a doctor. She's never earned one rupee as a doctor. She's only helped other people. But she was a mother first. And I have absolutely no doubt in my mind today. I was travelling so much that if my four boys are following the Lord today, it's because of my wife. She was a mother first. I would recommend that. I've seen it. I've also seen in our churches mothers who haven't taken that position. And I've seen what is the result. So I can only warn you. I'm not here to tell you there's no verse in the Bible which says a woman should not go to work. Because there are some situations that maybe the husband is paralyzed or sick, can't go to work. Then the woman has to go to work. That's why there's no word in the Bible which says women should not go to work. But priority is very clear. A woman is called to be a mother. A woman is called to be a mother at home first. Think of Timothy's mother. When Timothy was an 18, 19-year-old young man, Paul saw him. Paul was such a strict man. He wouldn't even take a fellow like John Mark, despite all of Barnabas' recommendation. You read in Acts 15. But in the next chapter, we read as a replacement for John Mark, Paul saw a young man called Timothy. Who had such a good testimony, he says. And all those churches around there, young 19-year-old man, zealous Christian, with a fine testimony, not only in his church, but in other churches where he was helping. He was not standing up in the pulpit preaching, but he was a witness, encouraging the young brothers, encouraging the children. Oh, I wish we had some Timothys like that in our churches. And who encouraged the younger ones, who are not seeking to get a name for themselves. There are very few like that. It's rare to see such people today. You know who made Timothy the man he became? His mother. I'm sure she was a very submissive woman. She was married to a Greek husband, who was probably an unconverted, godless man, who was only interested in making money. I don't know how she, as a Jew, married a Greek. It is against God's word. She was probably backslidden. She had a God-fearing mother called Loyce. You read that in 2 Timothy 1. Eunicke was her name. And she married this godless man and repented. And when she got a child, she said, Oh God, I'm sorry, I backslid. But I'm determined to do one thing. I'll bring up this child in a God-fearing way. And she did. And he grew up to be an apostle. What a ministry Timothy's mother had. Susanna Wesley did the greatest job for the church by raising up John Wesley to be a servant of God. She had many children. I think she had about 19 children. Some of them died. A number of them died. At least half of them. But she'd spend one hour a week with each of our children, teaching them God's word. Be a mother first. Dear brothers and sisters, let's restore the position of the home in today's Christianity. Let's pray. Heavenly Father, help us to be what you want us to be on this earth. Help us to build homes like you want us to build on this earth. We pray in Jesus' name. Amen.