In this sermon, the speaker discusses the portrayal of fathers in media and the unwritten rule that fathers are often depicted as idiots. He also mentions that Buddhists are often portrayed as wise. The speaker then shares an encounter with Jehovah Witnesses and his decision not to argue with them about the trinity. He emphasizes the importance of spending quality time with family and prioritizing time with children. The speaker concludes by stating that men should embrace the idea that their life is meant to be filled with work and that they should expect to be tired.

You know, I when I speak on university campuses, a lot of times it's with campus outreach. And I'm not saying I don't flatter. But there have been several times talking to different campus outreach guys that, you know, young guys that were there and stuff, and most of them have told me, man, I thought I was a Christian. But then some of these guys, you know, just started kind of befriending me and doing stuff with me. And then I kind of got into a Bible study and no one really had to attack them or they just started seeing the difference. You see, if you're living for Christ, you have no idea how radical that is to a person who really doesn't know him. And there's one that I'll tell you a funny story. This was years ago when I was working the jungle and I was sent out into the Amazon and I was there and supposed to meet up with some missionaries and they never showed up. And so I was stranded there for about five days and I was sleeping outside and drinking rainwater and eating raw fish. And it was just a wonderful time. And. It was like man of man against wild or whatever that program is, you know, I've been there, done that, got the T-shirt. Well, I finally made it back. I finally made it back to the headwater city called the Kitos and I was filthy, had rot in my feet, just was really feeling bad. Song goes, it's this little thing that crawls inside your skin all over your body. And so I'm walking up and I'm walking to the plaza thinking I'm going to get a hotel room. And all of a sudden, here come all these Jehovah's Witnesses. And I'm just like, Lord, do you hate me? You know, and and so, you know, they came up to me and I'm thinking, Lord, I'm not going to stand here and argue for four hours over the Trinity. And all of a sudden I just thought of something I'd never thought of. Before and I went to him, they started talking to me and I said, you know, I love to meet people who love to talk about God. I really do. And it's a great privilege to be here with you. I said, tell me something. I said, you know, those times when you're in prayer and your heart's about to explode and it's like the Holy Spirit is just filled the whole room with joy and you just almost can't contain yourself. And Christ is so precious and you almost have to ask God to stand back or you feel like your heart's going to explode. You know, those times I would like for you guys to share with me some of those times that you've had with the Lord. And they all looked at me kind of like Lassie used to look at Timmy, you know, when Timmy would talk to him and I just looked at him and I said, you don't have a clue, do you? I said, that's the difference between Christianity and what you have and just walked away. And and and that's one of the things when you start talking much of Christ and living much of Christ, people will know. Never forget, Noah built an ark and condemned the world. Now think about that. Noah just starts obeying God and everyone else is convicted about it. It's like the factory worker. Some of you men in here probably have been in this situation. You go to lunchtime. You don't make anybody pray with you. You're not even sitting at the table with people. You open up your lunchbox and you start praying and other men get mad at you. You just live for Christ. And allow those people to come into your circle and they will come to see that they're not saying if God's truly working in their life. Get up here. I'm coming. How do you honor your parents when they don't agree that you're living your life for Christ? Well, they don't agree with you, like I'm living my life for Christ and my parents do everything like they discourage me and they try to keep me from going places that will help me in my walk. They like, how are you supposed to honor your parents? Well, again, without getting too personal or whatever, the highest law, of course, is to obey God. And so we're talking about people who are asking you not to obey the law of God. Then, of course, you you can't do that. But even in that instance, for example, when Peter and John are before the Sanhedrin, you know, whether it is right for us to obey God rather than men, you know, men rather than God, you be the judge. But we cannot but speak of what we've seen and what we've heard in that they respected the authority and said, hey, we respect your authority and your ability to do to us whatever is necessary. But ultimately, we have to obey the law of God. So if you're talking about that and obeying the law of God, that's one thing. If you're talking about your opinion of what you're supposed to do versus your parents opinion of what you're supposed to do, that's different. And what I find is that a lot of times what happens is, you know, a young person will have a strong opinion about what it is that they're supposed to do, maybe even a strong urging about what it is that they're supposed to do. But we're not talking about book, chapter and verse. We're talking about an opinion or an urging. Well, you want to go on a trip to wherever that's your opinion and that you're urging. But your parents say we would prefer you to do this now, honor your mother and your father. That's not an opinion or an urging that's black and white scripture. So you always go with black and white scripture over opinion and urging. Mm hmm. One of the things that I would that I've told students to do, first of all, try to understand some things you sometimes when young people go to college and they get involved in some radical group, even when it's a really right radical Christian group, the parents get scared. So one of the things that you really want to show them is that what you're learning. About God and what you're learning about your role as a child of God, that you're to honor your parents, that you're to study as hard as you can, that you're so they don't think that you're going to go live on a mountain somewhere and drink Kool-Aid and go, you know, catch a trip with a rocket ship or something, you know, make sure that they know that this this is making you in into this person of excellence. The next thing I would do is sit down and say, mother and father, I want to honor you in absolutely everything I can. Now, I desire. To go to church. I desire to do this and this and this, tell me what you will allow me to do and give me your blessing, even though it wouldn't be the choice you would make for yourself, but you would allow me to do it and then tell me in the things you want me to honor you. And a lot of times there's really not that much of a conflict and they will they will really respect that many times, you know, and then honor them on everything. Like when I talk about submitting to parents, the first thing kids always come up with is, well, what if my parents want me to make a nuclear bomb and blow up, you know, the White House? And I always say, well, when was the last time your parents asked you to do that? You know, it's like your problem is with taking out the trash and picking up your underwear. It's not with nuclear weapon. Yeah. You know, I actually got one time. Well, what if they just told me to stop breathing and then I just die? Yeah, we always go to the extreme to find an excuse not to submit, you know. You were talking about the age when boys become men, and I was just wondering if that's sort of the same guideline that you use for women's role in the church and when it's appropriate for women to be teaching and guiding young boys and when it becomes unbiblical and them having authority over men. Do you know what I mean? Talking about adult. OK, it's OK for women to be teaching Sunday school classes and things when they're younger with boys and girls, but then is that the same sort of line that? OK, a line of when, you know, boys become young men and therefore it would be inappropriate for a woman who could perhaps. Like women shouldn't be pastors, but they teach in your class with you. OK, I see what you say. OK, yeah, I got you. I got you. I see what you're saying. For a woman. So basically, the question is, if the scripture says a woman shouldn't teach or exercise authority over a man, then the question will be, when does a man become a man? Is that what you're asking? When does a man become a man? So that that line is. OK, I got you. For me, it's it's a lot easier than that for me, I mean, in our church, for example. We don't have Sunday school, we haven't we we we just we haven't found that in the text, you know, we we we have catechism and family worship in homes and we look our men in the eye and say, I double dog dare you to disciple your family and we're not going to do it for you. And that includes their wives. And so we wouldn't we wouldn't even put a woman in that situation. We Titus two older women teach younger women. And even that it's very specific what older women are to teach younger women. And we'll talk about some of that on tomorrow. And so, again, I for me, I wouldn't even I wouldn't even put it into that category of, you know, this kind of age. It's OK in that kind of age. It's not OK. You know, for me, that's a that's an entirely different question in our context. In talking about all this tonight and becoming a biblical man and a biblical woman and in courtship and all this stuff, what role does the local church play into it? And is it even possible to do this without a local church? Well, here's the problem. We have in order to say something is a church today, we really have to lower the bar on the definition. Church has turned into a six flags over Jesus, it's not acting like a church. The church is very, very, very important, but church and family. I think there are very important lines and they get mixed really bad. For example, Sunday school was started in order to reach children in the streets who would never go to church of unchurched parents, you know, just kids work beggars and stuff in Chicago and other places. Now, Sunday school has taken the responsibility away from the father and the father loves it. You see, one of the reasons why God isn't blessing our churches, I feel like is because we're in the continuous process of doing plan B, for example, a Southern Baptist. How much money do you think was spent last year on Sunday school literature? How much how many conferences were there? We're talking millions and multimillions of dollars. All that money was spent and all that effort to carry out a plan that God never ordained. And. How much money was spent last year teaching fathers to disciple their own children? Probably zero. And so a lot of this what you're seeing everywhere I travel around the country, people are coming up to me and goes, but I don't have a church, I don't have a place I can go. What what you got to realize is this, especially you young men, the church isn't going to be involved in much of this nor promoted at first, at least a lot of churches. But don't you see what's going on? You're living in a time that prophets and scribes long to see and did not see. There's a genuine reformation going on. There's a reformation going on theologically in this country now. It's it's it's grassroots popular media who, you know, listen to Joel's self-esteem. They know nothing about all this stuff. But there is a real thing going on in which the truths of God are coming back in place. The ideas of family are coming back in place. All of it is. But here's what you men need to do. You need to start preparing. You women need to say, OK, I'm wrong. I'm going to start all over. And even if I have to do it by myself, but the next generation that comes up. He's going to be something. Is going to be something, and I can tell you this also, you need to keep this in mind, never in history is there a reformation and revival of this magnitude unless it preceded national catastrophe or the persecution of the church. I think that God is getting a people ready for the next several generations to go through some stuff, but also to triumph, to triumph. You young men sitting here right now and young women have a greater possibility now than ever in the history of the world. But you need to realize that you're wrong in almost everything you're thinking and start all over again. And and and you need to submit to church and submit to leaders that you're going to have to realize you're going to walk in and tell some of this stuff to pastors and they're not even going to understand, they're not even going to not only are they not going to have the answer, they don't even know what the question is. So just keep going. Be respectful, but keep going. I wonder if I might ask a real, I guess maybe a simple, practical question, this is something my wife and I talk about a lot. What do you guys do when you get home from work three, four or five o'clock, whatever? What is your normal night look like with your family? I love that question. Here's here's my rule in my home. My my my wife, we don't we don't make a lot of money, my wife is not going to work. There are greater things than money, we lived in Peru on cement floors and we're as happy as we are now on a carpet. So my wife. From the morning, early in the morning, five or whatever, I'm leaving for work, for the office to write, to preach, whatever. So I can make it home around four thirty. Now, when I make it home at four thirty, the rule is the kids are mine. They're mine until they go to bed. And on Saturdays, they're mine. And that means my wife can go about. Reading scripture, she can do some house cleaning, she can do whatever she wants, but those children are mine and I spend the time. Playing with the boys, working with the boys, studying with the boys, my little girl is only four months old, she can already read most of the dictionary, but still I'm not working with her yet, I'm just kidding. But it's all them and here's what you've got to realize, guys, get this into your head. If you're men, your life is work, you're supposed to be tired, it's supposed to be tough, all this other stuff doesn't it's not what you're supposed to be doing. I'm supposed to go to bed tired and satisfied. In the labor, I'm supposed to invest my life in the next generation, I'm supposed to die to self unless a grain of wheat falls to the ground and died, abideth alone. So my children are mine until around nine o'clock. I get them in bed, they're all tucked in our Bible stories, we've read books, we've done things, we're working on Chronicles of Narnia right now. Then it's my wife. And then after my wife, go to bed because you've got to get up really early in the morning, you don't go hunting, you don't go fishing, you don't play with all your other friends, you just go to bed. That's my day. For me, it's a little different, I office at home and have for quite a while. So it functions a little differently and most of our time is time in the morning. So in the morning there's breakfast time and there's family worship every day where we're in the scriptures together, we're singing, you know, songs together, we're doing catechism together in the morning and then everybody kind of starts off on their day and does their thing. And then we usually come together again in the evening and we have our evening meal in fellowship time. And in the evening times, there's usually things that we're kind of reading through or working through together as a family. And a lot of times in the evening, it's more like a biography or it's Valley of Vision, which is this unbelievable book of Puritan prayers, things like that, that we work through together in the evenings that are kind of more devotional type things. And we hang out, play games, do whatever, you know, and then again, they go and it's mom and daddy time. And that, once again, is incredibly important for them to know that there's mom and daddy time and they are not allowed to interfere with mom and daddy time. They're just not. They're just not, you know, don't unless somebody's bleeding or, you know, they just they just don't. Guys, let me let me say this, you know, every hero in media, in television and movies, he never goes home to a wife and children, he's either divorced or renegade or this or that. It's can't you see, since that's always a pattern, it's just the prince of of the air just trying to force down your throat a lie. I've I've lived through a war. I've traveled all over, I've climbed the Andes, I've been down the Amazon. Asia, Africa, all over. I can tell you this from experience, there is nothing more glorious. Than my wife and my three little babies and being at home. I've got I'm supposed to go to Israel in a couple of weeks, I canceled. I'm sending someone else in my place, it's great opportunity, but some things have come up and I just need to be with my family more. It is a burden, it would be a burden for me to go into the wilds of Africa right now because I'd have to leave my wife and my children. It's greater than anything I'm going to find in one of the countries I love more than anything, which is Africa. So don't believe these lies, believe God. You renew your mind. Wife and children. Devoting yourself to that. You know, I made a decision a while back, you know. If I could. Grow. In my Christ likeness towards my wife. Everything else would fall in place. I really wouldn't have to worry much, I was preaching in Austin years ago, and after my first sermon, the pulpit committee came up to me and they go, you need to be our pastor. And I looked at him and I said, are you out of your mind? And they said, what do you mean, you don't know if I love my wife or not. That's the most important thing, and it's the most wonderful thing. It is, there's nothing better, would Christ choose something for himself that wasn't the greatest? He has chosen a bride. That's what he longs for, that's what he died for, that's you know, I'm not called I'm never told in Scripture to die for the church, I'm never told to die for lost people. I'm told to die for my wife. I'm not even told to die for my children. The glorious, most glorious thing you can be is a godly man in the context of a woman and children. And back to that picture, you know, when you said that about the heroes and movies, yeah, the most popular. Sitcom ever about a father. Everybody loves Raymond. The weakest, most aggravating, most godless man ever, ever to grace a screen, his portrayal of manhood and fatherhood is absolutely sickening, but nothing's ever been more popular. Nothing's ever been more popular. You don't get weaker than that guy and his father is worse. You know, it's horrible, horrible, but that's the picture that's been painted for our culture. You know, there are some rules in media. One of the things I teach is film analysis. And that's one of the things that my especially older kids have grown to love. And we talked about this, you know, on the way up here watching film, something as simple as the change of a camera angle and all of this stuff communicates. Everything has a purpose. But, you know, one of the things that you look at there is the way we portray people in film. And there's some rules, some unwritten rules in film. One of the unwritten rules is that fathers are idiots. That's one of the unwritten rules. Christians are hypocrites. Buddhists are wise. Right. These are these are the unwritten, you know, homosexuals dress nice and are more cultured, cultured than everybody else. OK, these are the unwritten rules when it comes to film and the media, you think you haven't been impacted by that? You think you haven't been affected by that? Marriage is bondage. These are some of the unwritten rules. You know. Sex doesn't require commitment. These are some of the unwritten rules that are there and you guys, you have to realize that you need to detox, whether you know it or not. Aristotle's famous question, does a fish know he's wet? The answer. Not till you get him out of the water. And there are a lot of you tonight, you just now realizing and listening to this, that you're very wet from a cultural perspective, soaking, drenched in the lies of the culture. And for some of you, it's extremely uncomfortable. You can tell by your body language, you know, it's just weird. It's out there. It's uncomfortable. What do you mean? I'm the I'm the greatest Christian I know. And you're telling me that my stuff is messed up. You know, well, trust me, we've been there. We've been there. I'm still there most days. We neither one of us would argue that we've arrived. You know, this is reformation in process. I wept when my wife told me she was pregnant and it wasn't because I was sad. We'd been waiting for a child for eight years. It's wet. I remember going up into my house at home. I lived in before and I went up the stairs to my office and I wept. And the only thing I could think of saying, Lord, when it comes to raising a family, I'm just a saved pagan. I am a man of unclean lips and I dwell among the people of unclean lips. And I realized. Everything's got changed and it's a process, it's a fight, it's a battle every day. It's worth it. Yeah. You know, one thing, too, that we don't talk about, unfortunately, marriage is a sanctifying work. It's it's God uses marriage to chisel away at us. I am a much better Christian than I would be had I never, you know, gotten gotten married. It's unbelievable the way God uses that to to draw us to himself and to chisel away at us and to mature us and to show us our show us our selfishness. And, you know, oh, man, it's an incredible sanctifying work. Yeah, I have the personal testimony. I was the godliest man in the world until I got married. And I have a question. Jen, as elders in a church, what do you guys feel like your role is to women who in your congregation who don't have a father or they have an inactive father and they don't have a husband and you're the only authority in her life, specifically like if a man wants to pursue her, like what is your role in that? And also it's kind of a twofold question. How proactive can a woman be in pursuing a husband? 357 Magnum is off limits. Do you want to answer that, brother? Oh, you would drop that. OK. Again, as elders in our church. And our deacon ministry is a part of this, too, we take very seriously our role to stand in the gap in the lives of women who are unprotected. And we have an epidemic of unprotected women in our culture. We don't force ourselves into that role, but we do make it clear that we are available for that. For example, a single mother, a single mother is having issues with a son, especially a son gets a certain age. You know, it's our policy. That we make ourselves available and if she needs to bring the young man before the elders, we're not against praying and laying on hands, if you know what I mean. But so, you know, we will we will do that. And again, a young woman, a young single woman, we would also be more than happy and would actually relish the thought of standing in the gap for her and helping to evaluate potential suitors. We would very much see that as part of our role as the elders in our church. With regard to pursuing a young man. My wife has a really good article called Becoming Esther. And talks about the preparation that Esther went through and. You're not to pursue a young man, you're to pursue Christ and godliness and the training that when in the sovereignty of God, he brings that young man to you, you will be ready to be his help me. But pursue Christ, pursue everything that you ought to be to fulfill the obligation that will come sooner than you think. Also, you are even though you are under the headship, you will be under the headship of husband. You are not. Just an extension of him, you are an individual in your own right, you are a handmaiden of the Lord. The Lord wants you for himself. And you are his handmaiden, and he wants to train you in that and to be content in him and then in his providence, he may bring that person. Any man. Whose affections are kindled towards you because you are pursuing him will not be the man that you will want to have. He will be appalled at any pursuit. OK. How do you know that God's called you to marriage when it's his timing and not your own? Well, I saw this vision, I don't know about everybody, but I'm just kidding. All right, I came off with the joke now, you see a pattern developing here, he's the straight man, you know, for me. One of the one of the greatest problems that we face in the modern American church is mysticism. We believe you find the will of God by, you know, I mean, that's how we believe you find the will of God. And we look for, you know, mysterious signs and, you know, oh, my God, girl, I know what what happened. I know which one I'm supposed to go out with. Why? I woke up this morning all by myself at six. Oh, three. No alarm clock, no nothing. And girl, Bobby is six foot three. Folks, that's pagan. That is absolutely pagan. That is not Christian. And so we have all this. God told me and God said to me and God spoke to me and all this sort of stuff. And we are not when you have biblical illiteracy on the one hand. And we don't know what the Lord has said in his word. And on the other hand, you have mysticism where we're trying to, you know, feel our way through what it is that the Lord is impressing upon us through these different signs and visions or whatever. We get in serious trouble. So how do you know how? Number one, you know, when you are prepared based on the biblical requirements for you. Secondly, you know, when when you understand what it is that you need, according to the way that God has put you together. And when those who are around you in your life who are partnering with you in that process and holding you accountable and protecting you in that process also concur. Again, you have the multitude of counselors, another biblical principle. You also know that you're ready honoring your mother and father. You know, again, what so what you look for is not some outward mystical sign. But what you look for is all of the things that the Bible lines up for you and requires of you. And when those things are there. And here's another thing, because we get all messed up about finding the one, one, one, one, you know, I mean, we do. Here's how we act. It's kind of like the college thing, you know, like you guys are already in college or you already went through this. But you see this all the time with young people when they're trying to figure out where to go to college. You know, I don't want to miss God's will. You know, here's the God. We act like we serve like the God. God is in heaven and he wants you over here at this school. But somehow he's not powerful enough to get you there. So you make the wrong decision and you go over there and he's going to go over here going, where is she? That's that's how we act. That's not the God we serve. OK, that's not the God we serve. Don't be afraid. God is sovereign. God is in control. You obey God's word. You do what it is that God's called you to do. You be what it is that God's called you to be. You have wise counselors around you. You have the protection that God has brought you around you. You have this incredible, intimate relationship with the Lord that's rooted and grounded in his word. You'll be OK. Yeah. One of the things that you really need to come to realize is that. Well, in my own marriage. I saw my proposal in many of the same respects that I saw my calling into the ministry. I. Felt impressed that God had called me into the ministry. I was in the word renewing my mind. I had godly counselors who recognized the gifts and everything else. Now, my marriage. Is founded upon, I believe, a calling. You see, so many people say, well, you know, I like young guys will come to me and say, you know, I want to get married, this girl. Why? Well, I love her. OK, tell me what you mean. Well, you know, when I'm with her, I just feel so happy and and I can talk to her and things are going really well and all this stuff. And I says, OK, let me see if I get you straight here. You want to marry this girl because she meets all your self-centered, selfish needs. No, that's not what I mean. But that's what you said, young man. So you come to a point where you say, I believe that I am called of God to lay down my life for this woman. For her benefit and man on the face of the earth that would have submitted to me, he had no reason to honor me. God will fight for you if you just do the right thing. It also was the perfect timing by that delay, my wife and I both grew in the Lord. So you see, trust God, he's, you know. He's pretty big. Oh, we're going to go a little longer. So if anybody needs to leave, feel free to. But we're going to have a few more questions. That's OK. Is that OK with you guys? Yes. OK, good. Good. Good. I was just wondering if there are some specific books or websites or teachers that really given. True biblical advice on marriage and relationships and family and just something that maybe you've read that's affected you. Yeah. There's one book. It's. A case. Unbelievable book. What is it? Family Driven Faith. Is that's that's. Is that a Christian book? And then. Oh, no. But in all honesty, a lot of the stuff that we're talking about here tonight, more than you think, is addressed actually in family driven faith. But there some of the books. Family man, family leader. Measure of a man, her hand in her hand in marriage. Yes. Future men. Yeah. Future men. I always have to be careful giving an endorsement because you look at anybody's ministry and there's going to be things where you wouldn't go all the way with them. Right. But there's a lot of good stuff on Vision Forum. CBMW. What's the CBMW website now? Is it CBMW dot org? I think it's conference conference council on biblical manhood, womanhood, CBMW. There's some there's some good theological stuff there. There's also a book by Andreas Kastenberger, God, marriage and family. One of the most thorough, thorough theological treatments on marriage and family on what the Bible has to say from Genesis to Revelation on marriage and family. And again, anything that broad, you're always going to find some things in there that you. But it's it's it's a wonderful, broad theological treatment that will at least make you think through all of the important issues. Andreas Kastenberger. A book on marriage that literally you will have to read several times if you're a man and it will literally beat you to death is Exemplary Husband. Oh, man. I get that book. You'll hate me for it, but get it. What's so unique about is he's really his emphasis is on your whole problem is you're not like Christ. And then Martha Peace, an excellent wife. Yeah, I think that Martha Peace is she's a good woman. And marriage to a difficult man. Written by my wife. It's actually by Jonathan Edwards wife. Yeah. It's amazing. He was a difficult man to make an announcement as well. I think there's a few of you that have host families that are waiting on you and it's getting really late. So if any of you need if you need to leave for your host family, you can go and do that now. So I'm making an announcement as well. Matt. All right. I've got a quick question. This is going to seem kind of out in left field and kind of different from everybody else. But I just came back from two years in Thailand and with the IMB and my wife and I are preparing to go to Southern Seminary. And we've talked about spending the rest of our life after seminary overseas. And a lot of the older missionaries I spent time with who trained me a lot in church planning and discipleship, international. They homeschooled their children until they got to high school age. Then they sent them to boarding school. Almost every one of them. Don't do that. Yeah. It's the most important time. That's the most important time. Don't grow weary in doing well. See it through to the end. Leave the ministry before you leave your children up to a boarding school. God doesn't need your ministry, but he does desire that you be obedient. I'm not kidding. Do you have children? We just got married a month ago now. You better not have children. Hey, we had our, you know, I told you we got married somewhere between sophomore and junior year. I just turned 20. We had our first child 10 months later. We were what you call efficient. Pray for us. We didn't have an efficient family. So yeah, junior year, you know, I got a wife, we got a baby. People thought we were crazy. Brother, I'm not an experienced dad. I mean, my oldest son is six years old. But he was born yesterday, it seems like. Yeah. Those six years went by like six hours. And I think if you're not already, if you're not influenced by heresy and false teaching, which is a very strong thing to break from, and you're filled with the Holy Spirit, you cut off your arm before you would send those children to boarding school. To the wind. To the wind with your ministry. Yeah. Luke 640. A pupil is not above his teacher, but everyone when he is fully trained will be like his teacher. Whoever's teaching your children is discipling your children. That ought to make us shake. I have a question here in the back. I've been talking a lot about courtship and it being just very countercultural. A lot of guys are sitting here, myself included, in some respects. On how that might look. Do you approach the father first? Is it the girl's permission to speak to the father? How does that play out if you're trying to do that? First, there's really no rules, but there's principles. For example, in Jeremiah 29. Jeremiah 29 is very clear that the responsibility of the father is to give his daughters in marriage and find daughters for his sons. But here's just a couple of things. One, you definitely want to go through that father, because if you go to the young woman first, then what you do is you risk her emotional attachment to you before there's been any approval of you being the kind of young man that would even have a possibility of pursuing her. And what you want to do more than anything else is protect her in every way, especially her emotions. So you would definitely pursue that through her father first. You do not want to go the other route. That's just not the way to do it. Because you don't want those things to sort of cloud the way everything else happens. And what that's going to look like is going to depend on that father and how he's chosen to lead his family. And so you're going to have to submit to whatever that father has put in place as he's chosen to lead his family. I mean, that's going to differ from person to person as far as them testing or assessing your qualifications, your suitability, and things of that nature, as far as them deciding when and how you would begin to have some time with that daughter, you know, and the kind of chaperoning and supervision that's going to take place there. Those are things that are all going to be governed depending on what it is that that father determines for his family. But the non-negotiable is this is something that we do through that father. What do you do, Brother Bodie, when a young man goes to a father and the father just thinks he's a lunatic for even asking? You know, just like you just said, that is an incredible witnessing opportunity. When you do that, you've just communicated something. The other thing you've done is if the guy thinks you're a lunatic for doing it and for coming to him or whatever, he's also pricked a little bit because he's like, man, this guy is more concerned about my daughter than I am in many ways. That was honorable, you know. So even if he thinks you're crazy for doing it, number one, you do it because it's right. And secondly, you do it because you want to honor him. And we'll talk about this a little more tomorrow. But one of the mistakes that men make is if you enter into a relationship with your future wife by dishonoring her father, you will undermine her ability to submit to you because you have violated that man's authority in his home. And in turn, you will have violated your own authority in your home. So that's incredibly dangerous to do. So even if he thinks you're crazy, you do that because you're communicating to him and you're communicating to her what biblical submission is, what biblical roles and responsibility and authority is, and you're establishing even in your own home what this picture of headship is all about. So the last thing you want to do is establish your own understanding of headship in your home by violating the headship that she had in her home. And if she is willing to allow that headship in her home to be violated, she's probably not going to honor headship in hers. I think we're going to call it. I know we have a few others tonight, but it's getting late. And the good thing is we're going to have more Q&A tomorrow as well. So if you have questions on that, feel free to hang out for a while. We'll start 9 o'clock tomorrow morning, 9 o'clock, with a free lunch after that. If you're staying at the church, come see me right now. And then also leave your sign-up sheets on the chairs, please. Also, there's a sign-up sheet outside if you want to sign up for CDs or DVDs. Let us know if you want a DVD or CD.