In this sermon, the preacher discusses the topic of marriage and the Christian home. He starts by mentioning a verse from the Bible, Hebrews 13:4, which he believes would have significant consequences if read in every church. He shares how his message on marriage had a profound impact on people's lives, bringing healing and restoration to broken marriages. The preacher emphasizes the importance of following God's word and being in submission to one's spouse, particularly wives being in subjection to their husbands.

Thank you for the lovely songs that we sang, the hymns of our faith, and the very lovely way you sing it. Thank you for not singing like the world, for singing the old hymns of our faith. I do thank you from my heart for the joy it is to sit in such an atmosphere. Thank you also for the very precious word our brother said with us this morning. Thank you for sharing there, and with your family, singing too those lovely, lovely hymns. And it is so sweet to trust in Jesus. Thank you for sharing those precious passages, brother. I can't see you in my old age, so I'm looking at everyone and saying, thank you, brother. Where are you, brother? Where did you go? I hope he hasn't left. There you are, in the back. Okay, thank you, brother, for sharing those lovely passages. 2 Corinthians 12, verse 7. Oh my, what words pour out of there. Titus 2, 11, staggering words of grace, what grace really calls us to. We do bless God, brother, for you sharing those things to us this morning, in the light of Asa and his downfall. Well, we do bless you for waiting on God and bringing that which God gave you, from your heart and your soul to us, brother. And may God anoint you and use you as you share and fuse to the things of God, that God burns in your heart, the scriptures God burns in your heart. Bless you. Now it's my joy to be in your country, and especially, very especially to be here. I didn't know there was two churches. It used to be one, and I'm getting used to it. But I'm glad to be in the new church. I think you call yourself the new church? Well, the new group. Let me think, and the little bits I've picked up here and there, most of you, the Hutterites. I'm getting that word right. So you all like to be together. Who isn't a Hutterite here? Could you put your hand up? So you're not all Hutterites. Wonderful. I'm getting all confused as to who. But I believe you're going to have a lovely new building, and I'm looking forward, if God spares me, to coming and seeing what God gives you in a convention center, and a place to be able to practically work all the things, the remnant and the tape ministry. Bless the Lord for what God has in your heart, and may he honor you. The first time I ever came here, I thought to myself, these people need a big conference. I'm glad God's given it to you, because you're aiming in it right now. Who has, who is belonging to this church alone? Could you put up your hands? I'd like just to see something. Okay. And who has been coming along to the meetings? The other side. Okay. And the rest of you? Naughty. That's what I say to my children, you know, when I really scold them. Naughty. But, um, now you've come tonight. Otherwise, next time I'm here, I'll say naughty again, you see. That's a thrashing. You pray for me, and you please come tonight. I'll be very grateful. And do pray for me as I go around your country. I've come to love America very deeply, and I don't know why God took the basest, and the weakest, and the most unworthy of priestess from the other side of the world. But I think what caliber of men are over there in my country, and across Africa, how God could take this weak man, and give me the privilege of coming to other countries, and to your country like this. I marvel at God's grace, and mercy. But he chooses the base things of the world, and the weak things of the world, to despise. There's no flesher glory in his presence. Isn't that lovely? God takes up the weakest of us, brother, because he knows he won't glory. Because if we do, he hasn't here, his presence won't be felt. So he has to bypass the strong. Now, our wonderful Lord, thank thee for this lovely day. Thank thee that we, as thy people, can be together, and sing the hymns of our faith to our God. And thank thee for fellowship, that is so sweet. And thank thee, God, for the holy word, that we have come to love, for thou dost speak to us through it. And is there anything so sweet to us as thy voice, Lord, when we know it's not just words written, it's God speaking to me. God speaking to me, words so clear, as though he was sitting opposite me in a chair, looking at me in the eyes, and speaking. And we have no doubt how thy word is like that to us, Lord, sometimes from the pulpit, sometimes in our quiet times. But there it is, Lord, the word of God to our hearts, to quicken us, to show us the way, to caution us, to encourage us, to comfort us, to heal us. So long as this book is open, Lord, we will not be offended in thee, blessed is the man whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and nothing shall offend him. O God, when our one delight, our great delight, is thy law, thy word, nothing shall offend us. How we love thee. How we bless thee for giving us the Bible, to be a lamp unto our feet, to light unto our path. How we bless thee for giving us the Bible, for we've learned man shall not and cannot live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds out of the mouth of God. How we bless thee for this word. How we bless thee, God, and are able to come to thee with the things God has held out to us, that our faith has been served. Remember the word, Lord, unto thy servant upon which thou hast caused me to hope. Thank thee for every promise in the book that thou has given me, God, to keep me from faltering, to keep me from taking my eyes of God, to keep me from losing hope, to fill me with hope where there is no hope. The staggering work of God in the heart through the Bible, we do bless thee for it. Keep this open before all of us through our lives, Lord. Now in mercy wash me in the blood, fill me with the Holy Spirit, keep us under the blood. Open our eyes and our hearts in grace and mercy on us, and speak to every heart in the most profound and precious way. We ask these things in the name that we love and that we live for, in the name we would gladly die for. We ask these things in the name of Jesus the Christ. Amen. A good number of years ago I was led by God, I believe in my heart, in my understanding, to preach a message on marriage. And I took scriptures and illustrations of the things that have happened in the dealings with people in the early years of my ministry, and I put together as I trusted God for guidance, a message concerning how a Christian marriage should be, and what God requires of us in our home and in our marriage. I had no idea how many multitudes and multitudes of people across this world, how many would seek God through that message. Had I known as I put it together, I would have even been more careful and more diligent. I have been thrilled and blessed and encouraged to see how that tape of that message spread across my land, into homes and homes and homes, and how people would walk up in the streets, in the malls, how people would write letters and phone and say, sir, my marriage with hell on earth. Terrible words, isn't it? Until I heard that message, I was as good as living separate, though we lived on the same roof. We were as good as divorced. For years there was no love. I had no love, no respect, no ability to forgive, bitterness. And by the end of that message, God worked in my heart love for my wife that I've never known before, a healing in one moment of grace and divine work by the blood of Christ. And I love my wife now, and I love my husband now, sir, and our marriage is healed. Oh, how many homes have contacted me and said these precious words again and again, and that has so encouraged me. And then that message I preached once here in America, and it spread, and I do bless God for the fruit here in your land through that one message. But then the Americans did something strange, you know, they heard I'd be here in February in New York this year, and so people up in Ohio phoned me and said, we have a meeting annually in a big restaurant called the Amis Inn. I don't know if you've seen it, it's a big, big, big restaurant in some form of hotel, I think. And this dear lady said, we have once a year a couples evening where people come and we speak about marriage, we get the priest to preach about marriage. Now she said, we've all heard your first message on marriage, we'd like you to preach something different. So she didn't leave me with much time, because I was just adding this little meeting now onto this program in New York. So I tried to, but there was no time. When I got into the airplane to come across the world, I took papers and instead of sleeping most of the way and praying, I just prepared a message, this trip right across the world in the airplane. And this is the message I preached that night, in that couples evening, where many, many, many, many people from all over Ohio and other states came, and this massive big complex to seek God, about this topic called marriage, the Christian home, the Christian marriage. There's a verse in the Bible that I would like us to consider before we take any further step into this subject of marriage. And I think it's a verse that if they just read it from the pulpit of every church in the world, it would have staggering consequences in this day and age. I doubt that many churches would be willing to read this verse, because they would lose most of their congregations in one moment, just reading it, let alone preaching on it. Hebrews 13 verse 4 says these words, marriage is honorable. Oh, I love that. God says that. Young people, they might be living together out there outside of marriage in their multitude, but don't forget, God says marriage is honorable in all. I love that he added those words, in all, in God's eyes. When you're married, there's something about a sanctity, about all. Marriage is honorable in all. And the bed, the bed, the bed, undefiled. Now the irreligious, the godless, laugh, they joke, they snigger, they sneer when you talk about the bed. It's just something evil, something filthy, something indecent, but to God and God's people and to the God's Holy One, there's no smile on the face, there's no sniggering, there's no seer, there's something holy when God talks of that. It's sacred. There's nothing, nothing, nothing of shame, for there's nothing indecent or sinful, there's nothing impure. God says marriage is honorable in all, and the bed, undefiled, God says. In marriage, it's undefiled, it's sacred. You could say that word comes close to meaning in God's eyes, isn't that precious? Undefiled, marriage is honorable in all, and the bed, undefiled, but, but, whoremonger and a doubterer, God will judge. God will judge. God will judge. God will judge. Don't doubt it now. Somehow, the great tragedy of this generation that you and I live in is that the church marriages crumble from the pulpit down across all evangelical churches. The staggering thing is that the salt of the earth is no longer the salt of the earth. The light of the world no longer can show the world the way God wanted, for they crumble and marriages everywhere, everywhere, in their masses. Christian homes are breaking down in these last moments of this earth's tragedy, as defilement and moral decadence, and giving over in marriage is just the order of the day, presented through the media as the way of life, as the norm, to be unfaithful, as heroic. There's nothing defiled, it's regarded as the norm. And so the fruit of what you sow, America, through Hollywood, you're now reaping. You sow moral decadence, you reap morally decadent people. You pay for what you sow, Hollywood. You pay for what you allow, Hollywood, to sow, America. Suddenly the fruit is there, isn't it? Unfaithfulness, defiling, looseness, moral decadence, and the despising of marriage, because that's what you put over. But the church, the church, where is our stand? When our marriages start crumbling, I think it's time for us as the people of God to get back to the Word of God and see what have we done wrong? What have we done wrong? Because if it doesn't work in the home, it doesn't work anywhere, brother. There's one stepping stone in this book I'd like to take. It's a chapter you all know, you need not look it up. I'm sure every woman here knows Word Perfect, and every man knows Word Perfect, the words of Peter that he says concerning marriage. In 1 Peter 3, likewise, ye wives, be in subjection. You want to know what to do? Get back to God's Word, then open your heart, even though you don't like the Word, world. Likewise, ye wives, God says, be in subjection, be in subjection, be in subjection to your own husbands, that if any obey not the Word, they also may without the Word be won by the conversation of the wives, by the life of the wives, while they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fierce. Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection unto your own husbands. When you see the word likewise, you must always say, like what? That word just doesn't start in a sentence, it's normally because of something before. Likewise, like what? Like who? Must I be in subjection, like what? What, what example does God give that he's saying, like this, I want you to subject yourself to your husband, in this particular passage, unsaved, a husband that's not righteous, a husband that's not good, a husband that treats you wrong in its context. Don't leave him, win him, God says. But this is the way now, be in subjection. Likewise, like who? Let's look at the pre, the words that precede this chapter, let's look at the words of chapter two, and you find the word subjection again and again and again and again, and you find that he's pointing you to Jesus, like Jesus. Oh, I love that. I thank God we can point women to Jesus. If you are not pointed to Christ as a standard, you're probably being pointed to heresy. He's our standard. Beloved, holiness is Christ. If you present any other standard as what holiness means, you're heretical. Oh, the highest standard outwardly is precious, but if you're not Christ-like, that high standard is ugly, it's judgmental, separationist. Law is legalism. You can have the highest standard attainable, but unless Christ is the standard, your standard isn't scriptural. The standard of this New Testament is Christ's. Take that away and you have heresy. Put other standards and leave that out and you have something ugly, and people won't want God, beginning with your children. The fruit of the Spirit is Christ. The standard of the scriptures is Christ. Holiness is Christ. If it isn't, it's heresy. If anyone points you to anything but Christ, you're in trouble. Run! He points us to Jesus. Oh, your standard is beautiful, you people. Don't think I stand here looking at the modesty of your dress, condemning you. It's precious, but let me tell you, I have been with people so modestly dressed, your heart wants to crumble, but watch them react in one minute. Watch them speak words of scathingness in one minute. You want to run! It's so ugly. It must be Christ, or it's not worth anything preaching about, or giving, or following. He points us to Jesus. Likewise, likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands, that if any obey not the word, they may also without the word be won by the conversation, by the life of the wife, while they behold your taste, conversation coupled with fear. What about Jesus? He's an example of what I must be when God says, likewise, ye wives, be in subjection. What like Jesus? Let's look at Jesus then. Let's look at the words, chapter 2, verse 19. For this is thankworthy, this is thankworthy, if a man for conscience toward God endure grief, suffering wrongfully. For what glory is it when you be buffeted for your faults, ye shall take it patiently. But if when you do well and suffer for it, ye take it patiently, this is acceptable with God. For even here unto where ye call, because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example that ye should follow his steps, who did no sin, neither was guile found in his mouth, who when he was reviled, reviled not again. When he suffered, he threatened not, but committed himself to him that judges righteously. Now in the light of this whole chapter, we come to these words, likewise, like Jesus, who left us an example that ye should follow his steps, who did no sin, when you don't do any sin, neither was guile found in your mouth, when you don't say anything wrong and people revile you, you don't revile back. When you suffer, you don't threaten, you just commit yourself to him that judges righteously. Likewise, ye wives, like Jesus, be in subjection to those who are not righteous toward you, to those who treat you wrongly, to things you don't deserve, so that you can win him. It's precious that God turns to the wife you know and says, I want you to be the one in subjection. That doesn't belittle you, that honors you. God can't turn to a man. He made you in a way that he can honor you because you can do it. You can do something to heal the home. I often wonder why it seems most women come to God across the world before men, because somehow God can reach the hardened man to a woman's life, because you have a grace men don't have. You can be in subjection. You have something so great in you that God has given you an ability that a man can't have, and so God has to bypass the strong, proud man. Don't think it's a belittling aspect that God holds you. You are honored that God turns to you where there's problems in the home, and he says, I want you to be the one. He starts with the woman. By honoring you, you have the ability, you have a greatness to be like Christ when there's troubles in the home. Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands, that if any obey not the word. They also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives. You're not going to win him when he gets under a great preacher, but you will win him if you obey me, God says. Without the word you can win him. You can win him while they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear, whose adorning, let it not be that outward adorning of plating the hair and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel, but let it be the hidden man of the heart in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price. For after this manner in the old time, the holy woman also who trusted in God adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands, even as Sarah, even as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord, whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well and not afraid with any amazement. Likewise ye husbands, oh my, so it's not only the wives that have to be like Jesus. All right now you can sit back and it's the husband's turn. Likewise ye husbands, you mean I've got to be like Jesus when my wife isn't perfect, when she fails, that I'm not allowed to become bitter against my wife, but to love and be not bitter no matter how weak she is in her weakness, at those times she fails under the strain and pressure of life that I mainly put upon her anyway. Likewise ye husbands, oh remember like who? Likewise ye husbands, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge. You know with that word dwell with us, actually it means remain faithful to them, not just live under the same roof, separated, remain faithful, don't leave them now, they're the weaker vessel, they might not be perfect, but dwell with them. Likewise ye husbands, forgive like Christ, sometimes learn to keep Christ like Christ, when it's best to keep Christ. Likewise ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge. What does that mean? Well literally it means this, using your common sense, keep the home, the testimony of the home, by using your common sense that God's given you and in its context, dwell with them according to knowledge, remain faithful to them, don't leave them no matter how they fail, no matter how many times you're tempted to be bitter, don't, dwell with them according to knowledge, using your common sense, quickened by the Holy Ghost, you have the Holy Spirit in you, he will quicken your conscience, you're a hundred miles stark of the unsaved man, to know how to react, because the Holy Spirit will quicken your common sense, dwell with them ye husbands, according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife. Oh I love that, do you? You say you obey God sir, your children honestly know you do, do you honor your wife? How? Do you respect her opinion? Do you stand when she walks in the room when guests are there? Do you open the car door? Do you show her any... how if these things don't mean anything? How do you honor? How do you... oh you say you don't break the laws of God, you don't break the word of God, you keep it with all your heart, tell God right now how your children will remember you obeyed God, you gave honor, you giving honor, giving honor, giving honor, giving honor, not just a moment, right through the day, right through life, it's not one moment, and then bury her insane, it's everything the way you speak to her, do you honor this that God gave you, as God wanted you to? Likewise ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessels, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers be not hindered, that your prayers be not hindered, that your prayers be not hindered. Now that little phrase is staggering, I wonder if the prayers of the American church for America right now are not helping America just simply because of the state of the homes, of the marriages of those in the church, that your prayers be not hindered, that little statement in its context, it basically means, it basically means if you live right before God in your marriage, as God wants you to, he'll answer your prayer, if you live right before God generally in life, he will answer your prayers, listen to this, 1 John 3 verse 20, For if our heart condemn us, God is greater than our heart, and knoweth all things. Beloved, if our heart condemn us not, then have we confidence toward God, and whatsoever we ask, we receive of him, because we keep his commandments, and do those things that are pleasing in his sight. Oh, that your prayers be not hindered, that little term basically means, if you live right before God in life, in your marriage, especially in this context, God will answer your prayers, whatsoever we ask, we receive of him, because we keep his commandments, and do those things that are pleasing in his sight. There's always a condition to prayers being answered, but that little phrase, that your prayers be not hindered, in its context and in the light of all other scriptures about what God is speaking about here, it means so much more than that. You see, a husband and a wife spend more time praying together in their lifetime for their children than anything else. I want to repeat that. A husband and wife spend more time in their lifetime praying together for their children than anything else. I want you to listen to these words, and I want you to listen carefully. Oh, how our prayers will be hindered when one day we are forced to pray for our children to be right with God, if we were not holy in our marriage. I want to repeat that. Oh, how our prayers will be hindered when we are forced to pray for our children to be right with God, if we were not holy in our marriage. When we pray for our children, how much of it is for God to undo the damage we've done through our influences upon their lives. I want to repeat that. When we pray for our children, how much of it is for God to undo the damage we've done through our influences upon their lives from our own failures and our sins in our marriage that they have witnessed. How can you expect God to answer your prayers for your children to be holy and Christ-like in their marriage, if you didn't show them it's possible through the example of your life, especially in your marriage. You see, if Christianity doesn't work in the home, can it work anywhere in truth, your children will reason like that. Let your prayers be not hindered. Oh, how our prayers will be hindered when we're forced to pray for our children to get right with God, if we were not holy in our marriage. It will be the reason that our prayers will be hindered. I was preaching a while back in my country, and a very dignified, deeply religious lady wanted to see me desperately as the meetings were going on, and people were seeking God. And so they arranged for me to see this lady. I would never sit alone with a woman. The minister of the church that had invited me said to me, oh well, now you sit in the lounge with her, and my wife and I, we'll sit in the dining room next to the lounge so that we're right in the home. She wants to speak private things, but you will be there, but we'll be right beside you in this house. So this lady sat. She wanted time. She wanted to be out of sight of others as she spoke to me. And there she sat, a very dignified, gracious-looking lady, tears in her eyes. She said, sir, our home is broken right now because my son-in-law wants to divorce our daughter. My son-in-law wants to divorce my daughter. It is so broken, our home. I said to her, is he saved? She looked at me and she said, he said he was saved. And we trusted him, but he hasn't treated my daughter rightly. He hasn't been right to my daughter. He's treated her wrongly. Now he doesn't want her. Now he wants to divorce her. What are we going to do? I looked at this broken lady and her fear and the hurting going on in her heart as a Christian mother. And after a while I said, lady, can I ask you a question? She said, yes. I said, is it possible, forgive me for saying this, is it possible that there's two sides to the story, that it isn't only his fault that this marriage has crumbled, that your daughter's to blame also? Is it possible, lady, that your daughter had something to do with the breakdown of this marriage? Is it possible, lady, that your daughter gave him reason to stop loving her, to not want her anymore? Is it possible? This lady's mouth fell open in shock and her eyes went wide. She sat back and after about a minute she just bowed and began to sob. After a while she composed herself. She said to me, oh sir, God sent me here. I have not wanted to admit this to myself. I've been fighting it out of my mind. But it's true. It's her fault. And she sobbed again. But then she said these words, but there's something even more terrible than that, sir. It's because of me. You see, she treats her husband exactly like I treated mine. When I look at the way she speaks, when I look at the way she treats her life, my heart sinks. I can't challenge her because that's how I treated mine. I did not give her the example. I did not live out an example to my children in my home of what a husband. I only realize now how unhappy my husband must have been through the years. But I marvel, now I marvel at his grace. He didn't leave me. He endured me. He endured me. Let your prayers be not hindered. It's a terrible statement, sir, lady. It's a fearful statement. If you're not going to live it, wait for the fruit of it, of not living it, when you have to start praying, because of the fruit of what you were in that home. I was once in a town when I was a young preacher about 30 years ago, and I stayed in the home of a very godly woman. She had little children, but something about this woman shook my heart. She was incapable of being unkind. She was incapable of saying an unkind word about anyone, no matter how guilty a person was. She just waited to try and defend. Otherwise she kept quite agonizing if something ugly was being said about anybody. Even if it was true, she went through torment that something was being said, but she just seemed to live and wait for the moment she could protect, or somehow defend, or say something kind. But it's like incapable of saying anything unkind about even people who deserved unkind words said about them. And I saw the Christ-like youth of this woman, and it staggered my heart, as other Christians fail without hesitating, condemning people. Well years went by before I went back to that town. It shook me when they invited me, and people arranged meetings there, and I got back in that home. Now those little girls had grown up. They were women with married, they were married with children of their own that were grown up. That's how many years went by. Here were the daughters now, and I was in the home of the daughter. They brought their godly old mother, now aged, down to have a meal on a Sunday in the home, in the farmhouse. I preached that morning, I was going to preach the night, but there they brought her to see me after all these years and her frailty. And you know, after all those years, that woman was so Christ-like, so much more Christ-like, that she was like a God's presence in that home. You weigh your words in such a person's company. When she left, I looked at the daughter and I said, oh your mother was a blessing to me when I was a young priester, but she's just equally now. I'm just so blessed all over again that the woman can be so Christ-like as this woman, that it seems incapable of any unkindness, no matter how unkind the world is. She's just kindness, incapable of anything of anger or malice or judgment. And this lady looked at me and said, Keith, you don't know the half about my mother. My father was a monster, Keith. He wasn't just a bad man, he was a monster in our home. He was so bad that one day when my father walked out the door, my sister and I grabbed my mother and we screamed, let's run before he comes back. God doesn't want this of you, mommy. God doesn't expect this of you, mommy. Let's get away from him. And our mother looked at us in shock and said, no, no, I'm not leaving your father. When I said to death, I meant it. Listen to me, my girls. If your father was a psychopath, if your lives was in danger, I would run now with you. I would run. I would know God wouldn't want me to stay with a man who could murder you or kill you. But your father's not a psychopath. He's just unsaved, very unsaved. But when I married him, I wasn't saved. I've come to Christ, but getting saved doesn't mean I leave him because he's not good. I have to win him, girls. I have to win him and I'm going to. I'm not leaving him. Don't you ever tell me to do that again. I have to win him. I'm going to. But listen to me, girls. I will never have to give account to God for anything your father does to me. Your father will have to give account to God one day. I will never have to give account to God for anything he's done or said. But I will have to give account to God for how I react to your father. No matter how wrong your father is, I will have to give account to God for every word I utter it, for every reaction I react, no matter how unreasonable he is. And I don't want to have to give account to God for anything I've said or done, nothing. Then she said these words, Keith, my father did come to Jesus. He got gloriously saved as he agonized in the end over the life of my mother. She brought him to Christ, that eternal life, because she wouldn't leave him. She won him. But we never saw my mother fail God once, Keith. We've spoken about it again and again, my sister and I. We never saw our mother once fail God. She was Christ-like, no matter what our father did to her. And now we're married, and we have husbands, and they're saved, but they're not perfect. They're not angels. And when our husbands fail, we're so careful, Keith, how we react to their failures. Do you know why? Because our mother left us an example that no matter how horrible things are, God gives you grace if you want it to be utterly Christ-like, no matter what your husband's failures are. If you want to be victorious, you haven't got him to blame for failure. The grace is there, and before we react to our husband's failures, and they fail, though they're saved, we always remember our mother's life, the example that she gave to us to prove to us, you can be Christ-like if you want to, no matter how much they fail. We're so careful before we react to our husband's failures, because of our mother's example and life that sold us, you can be victorious. Is that good to you, ladies, that your daughters one day will be following your example, what you were in the home, the way you reacted when your husband failed, that you showed her how to be, and that it's possible by God's grace, that her conscience won't let her destroy the marriage, but win him, because you showed him, you showed her. Is that acceptable to you, mothers? Is that acceptable to you, fathers, that your boys are going to treat their wives like you treated yours? You showed the way, didn't you, what a godly man is. So as happy as your wife is to you, so happy will be your children's wife, if that's what's going to happen, if the example was what they're going to follow, and say, well, that's Christianity, that's as far as you can go in victory, that's as much as God requires of me, what I saw in Daddy. You know, when I wanted to court Jenny, I can't tell you what happened to my heart when I saw my wife, you know. I was ruined forever. It was the end of my, I don't know, I just, when I saw Jenny, I never knew there was such a beautiful thing on earth, you know. It hadn't occurred to me there was such beauty. I was just smitten. But then now, I wanted to court Jenny, and my father-in-law, they call him Um Yanni Laru, he's an Afrikaner in our country, he's a buur, that means farmer, but he's also a preacher, he's more known across our land as a preacher than a farmer. I mean, the people who've been through theological seminaries with degrees behind their name, as many as they flock everywhere to hear Um Yanni Laru, the farmer, when he preaches in the large, great conventions of South Africa, everyone flocks to hear this farmer. He's never been through theological seminar, he sits on his tractor. You think he's working in the farm? No, he's working out a message to priests. And oh, the school of God on the farm, oh, that's where it works or doesn't work, you know. Farming's not easy. Oh, how he's loved in our country, and how many multitudes and multitudes of thousands of people walk with God through his life and ministry, from people in the Pupa down. They love this down-to-earth preaching of a man who knows how to live it, not just has theology. Well, he's a priest, not just a farmer. Now, when I wanted to court Jenny, when he saw me looking at his daughter, you know, and he saw me, oh my, he started preaching at me. I just noticed that, shoo, this is a sermon, and this man's worked it out for me. He started preaching. The moment he saw me looking at Jenny, he started preaching. He's still preaching to this day, you know. When I see my father-in-law come, I just look at him and I say, preach. He's determined that my marriage isn't going to go wrong. He's determined that it's his daughter, his darling, yes, Jenny is his darling, you know, that nothing's going to go wrong. Yes, so he's got sermons written for me about Abraham and Sarah and Isaac, Rebecca. I just thought, you know, this is strange. This is for me. He's got these whole sermons. He just didn't make an appeal. Otherwise, I would have been smitten every time. Oh, he just made sure nothing would go wrong. But he saw me looking at Jenny, he started to preach. Nonetheless, the day came that I wanted to ask him if I could court Jenny. So I went and I sat there, you know, and I looked at this godly man. I mean, he's tall and he's big and he's a man's man. Everybody respects him, you know, the strength, the solidness, the Christ-likeness, the wisdom. Yes, but you don't play the fool with him. He's a man. And I asked him if I could court Jenny. And a smile went off his face. Oh, and I began to tremble. And he sat back and looked at me, you know, and he said, Keith, I want you to do me a favor, boy. I want you to look at my wife. I want you to take a careful, careful look at Jenny's mommy. Keith, I want you to look at the way she speaks, the way she speaks to me and the children, the way she is in the home. I want you to look at everything about her, her priorities. I want you to take a sober look at my wife, Keith, because what you see in Jenny's mommy is what you will see in Jenny 20 years from now. I guarantee you that, my boy. Is that what you want, Keith, in life? Is that what you want, Keith? Think. Don't you answer me. Think before you answer. So I thought, and after a while I said, well, I think your wife is wonderful. I think she's lovely. And you look very happily married to her. So he laughed. He sat back and he laughed. And he gave me permission to call Jenny. Well, 20 years later, over 20 years now, was he right? Oh yes. So right that there's days I am stunned to silence as I look at my wife and see her mother in her reactions, in the way she speaks to me. So much so that I'm staggered. He was right. He was right. The way she speaks to the children, her values, her priorities, her reactions to things. It's like just knowing what's coming because I've seen her mother react in those circumstances over the years. I do not say that if a woman is deranged and evil. I do not say that if a woman is deranged and evil at her children, her daughters have to be like her. No. But I will say this from my heart. 99% of the daughters you're looking at now, unless they have a vital encounter with God that is so real that it will change their whole character and refine their whole personality, unless they have such an encounter with God Himself that so refines and purifies their whole character and personality, 99% of the children sitting here in 20 years time will be their mother, of what they see in their mother. I guarantee you. Can I ask all you mothers here today, are you happy about that? If that is true, are you happy that your daughter will be like you in her marriage? Are you happy that your daughter will take you as an example subconsciously for the rest of her life? Listen to these words, Proverbs 30 verse 21. Four things the earth cannot bear. Four things the earth cannot bear. One of them, God says in verse 23, is an odious woman when she is married. Not before she's married. What does odious woman mean? Listen to what it means. Aggressive, unsubmissive, difficult, argumentative, strong-willed, ungodly. John Wesley was a little man like this, you know, about so high, let's see, yeah, that's short for a man. Thank goodness I'm not so short. But he turned the world upside down. He brought England back to God when a bloodbath was flowing from the poor, just wiping out the guillotined, the upper crusty writs. The blood was about to start flowing in England, and one man stopped it. God raised up Wesley. Through Whitefield, yes, but Wesley was the one. And England found healing where the writs started loving the poor and caring as never before, and goodness and things being set up to. And the poor forgave the writs because God forgives through them. And God made a great nation through Wesley, through the mighty moving of God. But Wesley, in the beginning, was so persecuted it was unbelievable. But they say nothing discouraged him. Nothing could get that man down. I wish I could say that about me. They say that Wesley would go into a town, they'd come out a few hundred men with stones, you know, throwing them at him. I believe one occasion there was just a pile of rocks all over him. They left him for dead. You know what he did? Nothing could stop Wesley, you know, blood all over him. He got out, messed up, and he marched into the town in the state with blood. And he led every single one of those men to God. That's courage, brother. Nothing could make him give up. You know what they did once? They ran out, they took him, they threw him to the end of a cliff, the terrible cliff outside. They threw him flying through the air. Wesley just, can you believe they do that to a preacher? They looked down, he's dead. They walked away. You know what Wesley did? He wasn't dead, thank God. He got up in a terrible state, but he climbed up, he walked into the town, oh, in a terrible state, but with joy in his face. And he brought the whole town to Christ. Nothing stopped, and he was this incorrigible. Bless the Lord for that. You know what the King of England said? The King of England said, this has to stop. By law of the King, no more persecution on Wesley or his followers. This land's history is being changed. Look at the bloodbath over there in Europe, on the other side of the Channel. It's this man that stops it. We have to stop, by order of the King, no more. And so persecution had to stop. When the King said stop, it meant stop. But thank God he had this ability to get up, no matter what terrible things happened to him. But you know they say, one thing discouraged Wesley. Only one thing that men can remember of his lifetime, since he got mightily saved by God and sanctified. One thing drove him to despair, and it was his wife. No one judged Wesley, you know. Even the unsaved, no one dared ever bring it up publicly. No one judged him, though everyone knew. Because it wasn't his choice for a wife. The choice he had was buried by his brother, Charles. Charles made a mistake. And those days when the father died, the elder brother had a terrible reverence shown to them, and respect you submitted yourself. And he had this awe of Charles, and Charles forced this whole situation of another woman. And it was the wrong choice. The devil stepped in there, and John Wesley had married an odious woman that the world, the earth, cannot bear. She was like a tyrant. She was so shameful what she did publicly to him. Everybody just hung their heads, even the unsaved, praying. That such a woman lives, though he was so godly. Oh, can I ask you all something? Are you like Sarah in her marriage? She was the one God always uses the example of what a godly woman should be toward her husband for some reason. Are you a Sarah? Or are you like that woman that God says the earth cannot bear when she is married? David's wife despised him, you know. That's terrible to think of the grief that must have been to God. You know why David's wife despised him? Because of their father. Not everybody has got to bear a cross like David. Not everybody has a father in law like David had. I mean Saul lived to kill him. He just lived to kill him, to destroy him. Can I just ask in passing, how is it with your David, mothers and fathers here? How is it with your son-in-law? Maybe you don't take a javelin to kill him openly, but tell me, are you the reason your daughter despises her husband? Are you the reason because you despise him? Because of the failures, not being perfect, even to you. Tell me, are you the reason the marriage lies in ruins, that your daughter despises? Do you know the influence after marriage? I can take you to marriages here in America. Because the in-laws influence. Woman left her husband. So the husband wanted to go through with God. She despised her husband because of her father and mother. Do you know what influence you are by your reactions, your little words? Are you undermining? Are you living to undermine, to destroy his ability of ever making a happy marriage? He hasn't got a chance with you being the in-laws. Just in passing, how is it with your David? Saul, your daughter has to despise him because you do. Who is to blame for failure in marriage? That's quite a question. Who would you blame, lady? Who would you blame, sir? Who is to blame for failure in marriage? Who is to blame for failure in marriage? Adam. Adam blamed Eve, you know, for his sin. Isn't that terrible? Adam, the first marriage, blamed Eve for his sin. Tragically, it seems most husbands from that day to this believe that the sole purpose they were given a wife was to have someone to blame for their failures in Christianity. I'd like to repeat that. Adam. Adam blamed Eve for his sin. And tragically, it seems to me that most husbands believe that the only reason, the sole purpose they were ever given a wife is to have someone to blame for all their failures in Christianity. Why does love leave a marriage? Who is to blame when love leaves in parts from a man and woman? Who is to blame for failures in the marriage? I was once preaching in a convention. After I'd preached, there was, I think, lunch was being served, but I was standing there and there was fellowship going on, and in the meeting was a young man and lady who I'd known for years, who had served God faithfully. They were known to stand for God in their town, in their community. They were faithful in the church. And as I stood there speaking to these, this man and woman, having not seen them for a while and fellowshipping, suddenly while I was speaking after the service, a little girl runs. Mommy, daddy. So I said, is this your daughter? And they said, yes. Oh, she was beautiful. Long hair, beautiful. So her mother said, this is the priest, sir. This is the man that stood up in the front that you were looking at. He was the one telling us how to live with God, what God wants us to do, what God, how God wants us to live. He was the one sharing from the Word of God when you were sitting in the meeting just now. This is the priest, sir. And this little girl looked up at me for a while, and we all looked at her smiling, and suddenly a tear came down her face. And she said, priest, sir, my mommy and daddy are very unhappy. They fight all the time, priest, sir. My mommy cries herself every night to sleep. Every day she cries, and she cries all the time, she cries. They fight all the time, priest, sir. Tell them that this is not what God wants. Tell them God wants them to be happy. Tell them this is not what God wants. Help them. My heart just sunk as I looked at this beautiful little girl with tears coming to her eyes, pleading with me. I didn't look at the father and mother then. I dared not. You see, I knew then I was in a trial. When you suddenly found out about somebody else's failures, brother, sister, be careful what you say. You're in testing ground. You're the one putting the exam right then, not them. You're more than them. I could have turned and rebuked them and shamed them, but let me tell you what I've learned about Christianity. What you do and say when others fail and you find out about their failures will come upon you. Be careful how you react when you're suddenly conscious of other people's failures. It'll come back at you if you ever fail with a vengeance. I guarantee you. Be careful. I wasn't testing ground. I knew that. I didn't look at them and devour them to their failures from the lips of their child, but I did say this. I said, little girl, you are very beautiful, and I know your mother and father must love you very dearly, and I know God must love you very dearly, and I know that God loves your father and mother very, very much, and I know they love God. I know that, and I know that they are going to seek God to heal the problems in your home. They're going to seek God with all their hearts to heal their unhappiness so that they can be happy again for you, for you, and I turned and I walked away. I never looked at the mother and father's face. I didn't want to see what was in their eyes. I didn't want to see the shame. Who is to blame? Who is to blame when love goes out of a marriage, when the sweetness turns sour, the tenderness becomes bitterness, love turns to hate? Who is to blame? It's quite a staggering question, isn't it? When I was a boy, my father and mother were very unsaved, very, very, very much in the world. Oh, the dancing, and just, when I was a boy, there was an unsaved, godless father and mother, good father and mother, but all the world was in their hearts. They didn't only go to the dance. Daddy had dances in our home. He had money. We had socializing. We had dances in our homes. We as children even had a whole hall downstairs for dancing. It was just the world. That's how I grew up. Daddy and mommy met another lady and man, another married couple, and they befriended them when I was a little boy. And these people loved dancing also. Daddy loved to dance, you know. They loved to dance, so they were always going to the dances together, always in our home. We had a speedboat on the bay, and we skied, you know. One big vanity of life. So this couple came into our home, and for years they were the closest friends mommy and daddy had. But when they came into our lives, I remember they were very different from anyone else we had known. You know why? The way they spoke to each other, this unsaved man and woman. They used to call each other by names that, you know, you can say a nice little pet name, but they had names. Oh, Zuzop, you know. Zuzop. Yes, honey pie. Sunshine. Yes, rainbow. What else did they say? Oh, it was terrible, you know. I mean, you just don't have this normally amongst unsaved. One little word where nobody's listening, but all the time, every conversation, Zuzop. Rainbow. Oh, my. It really shook us. We got home that night, and I'll never forget daddy turning to mommy and saying, Zuzop. And my mommy looked and said, don't you start. She'd had enough by then. But the years went by. Oh, they were friends. They enjoyed. The laughter was there, you know, even when the heart is sorrowful to the unsaved. But then one day daddy came home, and he didn't know I was listening, and he spoke about them, and he said, mommy. He says, something's going wrong. I'm worried. I'm worried about their marriage. Things are really going, I've seen it coming, but now I've really seen that things are bad, mommy. The strange thing is they're still using the same words, but the tone has changed. He said, it's no longer Zuzop, you know, Zuzop. Sunshine, you know, honeypot. Oh, words are meaningless if the tone changes. How cellar words are, you know, just the tone. I want to ask every single person sitting here today, has the tone changed in the way you speak to your husband? The way you speak to your wife? Has the tenderness gone, sir? Answer God, every one of you. Every one of you, answer God. Has the tenderness gone? I was in a German home once when I was a young priest there. Germans are very different. I'm sure there are German backgrounds. Yes, I better be careful. But let me tell you, Germans are very, very different. Get them saved, it's wonderful. They turn the world upside down. They're like a Jew when you get a Jew saved. It's just too precious. But a German is a strange thing, you know. Forgive me, you Germans. Oh my, the man must be the man, you know. Well, I was in this German home of this old German man. And he knew our work and our workers and our missionaries through the years. And he said, oh, before you were born, we had your workers from the mission in our home. And I was young and we'd take them out. And we won souls. And he told of all the things. And he named the names of the different people through the years that were now old, many of them dead, from my mission, the mission I now work in, in Africa. And after a long time of telling me all the things and the people he knew, that I knew as names, or knew as old people in my mission, who taught me, that he had known when they were young, before they were married, in his home over the years. And what God did. He was going on and on. And then his dear little wife, you know, I'll never forget her. She sat there at the table listening for a long time, and then she dared to speak. She said something, you know, just nothing harmful, just about what he was speaking about, just added a little. But I'll never forget the way he looked at her. He was just shocked that she opened her mouth, you know. Marta! Marta! No! No, Marta! Not like that, you know. So I said, oh my, she didn't do anything wrong. She just spoke. So he went on and on again, you know, just dominating the conversation. Then she spoke again in my heart. And still, oh, you spoke. This time it wasn't so gracious. He stood, you know, but his eyes, and he was, Marta! Marta! He was really, you know, have you ever seen a man like that? Your wife can't speak, and you're threatened. By the time she opened her mouth a third time, I wish I wasn't in that home. It was terrifying. I was living in fear of her opening her mouth. He couldn't tolerate it. But you know, there must have been a time that that woman once spoke tenderly, that man once spoke tenderly to that woman. There must have been a time he respected her. He would never have come near the man had he not once spoken with tenderness. Paul said these words. Now, they're staggering words. I suffer not a woman to speak in the church. It's a shame for a woman to speak in a church. Let a woman be silent in the church. Now, those words, you need a whole sermon in the light of other scriptures to understand what God is saying. I'm not going to preach that now, but I've got a fear that many men interpret Paul's statements about a woman keeping silent in the church, and it's a shame for a woman to speak in the church. I've got an idea that many men interpreted that it's a shame for a woman to open her mouth at home. It's a shame for a woman to speak, full stop. I suffer not a woman to speak. I've got an idea many men interpret it like that. They're so threatened when their wife starts speaking, you know, they're dominating the whole room. Suddenly she dares to say something, and you're so threatened you can't let her have everybody, so you start some conversation with somebody else. The moment your wife decides to say something, so long as she doesn't do what you do and have everybody, you're threatened by her opening her mouth. Does your wife have any chance of survival as a person with you as her husband? Do you allow her the right to be any one of significance, husband? Do you honor her, or do you defy God and grieve God and break your children's hope of even eternal life sometimes? You're so unchristlike toward her. Though you say you're saved, I once was with a very famous preacher, I won't give you his name, I've stood with many very famous preachers, and I've been privileged in that way. Many whose books you have, and one stood with me years ago when I was to be married to Jenny, and he said, so you're going to marry this girl. I said, yes, and this very famous preacher looked at me, would you let me give you some advice, Keith, about marriage? I said, yes, sir. Don't allow yourself to say unkind words, Keith. You don't have to, boy. It's the beginning of the end of love if you allow unkind words into your marriage. Keep your mouth closed and go from the room, go for a walk around the whole block if need be, but talk to God when there's tension, when there's stress, when there's the temptation to be unkind through anything she does wrong that's unreasonable in your eyes. Don't allow yourself to say unkind words, Keith. It's the beginning of the end. You know, as that famous preacher stood and said those words to me, tears started rolling down his face, and he put his head down, and he began to sob, and I looked trembling at this man, and I wondered, I wondered about his marriage. I have an Uncle Roy, he's dead now, we've named our middle boy Roy after Uncle Roy. He was a godly man. When I was married to Jenny at first, I was full of jokes, you know. God had to take the joke out of me. God knew how to do that. He just wiped me down into the dust so much. He knows how to take the joke out of a man. Oh, brother, joking is not joy. I hear preachers all over your country. I hear preachers all over the world today. They seem to think to stand in the pulpit is the right place to joke, to say we got joy. Brother, joking is not joy. Stories that are humorous, that are real, that's not joking, but jokes for the sakes of jokes. That's not joy. You haven't got joy. Joy is the result of a relationship with Jesus, brother or sister, not jokes. God had to take the joke out of me, but I used to joke as a boy, just joke upon joke. Even when I first said, I used to joke, you know, like the dumb thing. I must have been such a grief to God, and I joked one day in front of Uncle Roy when I joked in the house towards Jenny, and he stood up and tears came down his eyes, my godly Uncle Roy, and he said, stop. Don't you speak to Jenny like that again in your life. I stood up and tears came down my eyes. I was so shaken. I said, but Uncle Roy, I'm joking. Jenny knows that. Everyone in this room knows it, Uncle Roy. I'm joking. I wouldn't mean it. This is a joke. He said, Keith, don't you joke with your wife like that. You and Jenny have something very special, my boy, and I will not let you destroy it. Don't even in a joke speak with disrespect like that. I said, Uncle Roy, I accept it from God, and I never did that again. I led some people to Christ, who later on went out and gave up their work and went to work full time with a very great preacher, a very, very famous preacher, and one day the years went by, they came, we went for tea and fell asleep, and I said, how are things going? It must be a great joy and privilege to work with such a man that has been so used by God. There was dead silence. The wife looked down and tears filled his eyes. He said, oh Keith, I've never said this, but I'm going to say it to you. It is not a privilege to work with this great preacher. Do you know why, Keith? No one that works under him and for his movement wants to listen to him preach again. No one wants to hear his preaching or let God bless their hearts through his preaching. Do you know why, Keith? The way he speaks to his wife, the way he speaks to his wife, you cannot accept anything he says from the pulpit. It becomes obnoxious. Let me tell you something. I wonder how many preachers would be forbidden to ever get back in the pulpit again once in their life, if one conversation of the whole was made public in the pulpit, just once. I wonder how many preachers would be forbidden to hold the word of God to man again in their life, if one conversation ever was made public of what happened in the home, sometimes minutes before they preached. I can tell you how holy a man is by the way he speaks to his wife, brethren. I can tell you how holy a man is by the way he speaks to his wife, and let me shock you, so can your children.