In this sermon, the speaker discusses the impact of media and video games on our perception of reality. He highlights how the constant bombardment of fantastical images and experiences can make reality seem dull and unexciting. The speaker also raises the question of whether we are prioritizing pleasure and entertainment over saving for our future and the future of our children. He warns against getting lost in a fantasy world and encourages listeners to start thinking about their future and making responsible choices. The speaker emphasizes the importance of being mindful of the influence of media and video games and urges listeners to make changes in their mindset and behavior.

We're going to be taking a look at now something that ought to be a great concern for you. It ought to be something that also is something that brings you joy, the prospect of it, and that is marriage and dealing with the opposite sex. Now, we all are aware that there are some men and women like the Apostle Paul that have the gift of celibacy. And how do you know that you have that? Well, I believe that the Lord basically takes away at least most of your desire to have a relationship with the opposite sex, or at least gives you the strength to overcome those desires and to live at peace with them. I have not known many people with that gift, and I would dare say that probably most of you here do not have that gift. A lot of young men think that, well, it's more spiritual. And, well, it can be spiritual or unspiritual, because whether you have the gift of celibacy or you don't doesn't make you spiritual. What makes you spiritual is being in the center of God's will for your own life. And I can tell you this, that although there is still much in me that needs to change, I know that apart from marriage and children, I would not be the man that I am today. And I consider my marriage and then my children to be one of the greatest privileges that God has ever given me. Now, we live in a culture that really does not think very highly of marriage. We live in a culture that does not think very highly of children. We kill babies every day. That's our culture, a culture of death. And even those who are married, most Americans, I think it's something like 1.3, 1.4 children that they want to have. Many cite this reason, economic reasons. Look, we're the wealthiest country in the world or at least close. And so we can't have children. So it kind of demonstrates to us that we're also a very selfish generation, very selfish people. And so what we're going to talk about now is the heresy of recreational dating. Now, I don't know if you've heard the terminology. Most people use the terminology dating. Some people use the terminology courtship, which they're trying to live out a more biblical way of meeting a mate. But it really doesn't bother me if you use the word dating, although I prefer courtship. But what I am against and what the Bible is against is what we know as recreational dating. Now, what is that? If a young man came to me and said, you know, wow, I'm going out on a date with Susie tonight. My next question would be, well, when did God begin to show you possibly that Susie was the girl, that it was your time to start thinking about marriage, and that when did God begin to show you that Susie's the girl that you think you ought to marry? And the person says, what? What are you talking about? I'm not talking about marriage. I'm just going out on a date. That's recreational dating. And it is a manifestation of our ungodliness, our selfishness. Now, all of us have done it because, again, our people are destroyed for a lack of knowledge. You say, why are you going out with her? You have no intention to marry her. Well, let me suggest this, that you want to receive from her and from that relationship something that is only supposed to be given you within the context of marriage. But you want that without the commitment. You just want to have a good time with someone of the opposite sex. And that is selfish, and it's dangerous, and it's not manly. It's not who we're supposed to be as men in Christ. Now, I just want to read something to you. The practice of recreational dating is so far removed from Scripture that it is not even addressed. It is a recent phenomenon that is not only not found in Scripture, but is hardly found in the annals of human history. It is simply the product of a godless and lawless culture that is motivated by ignorance and the flesh rather than the Scriptures and the Spirit of God. Why do people date without any intention of marriage? Why? Here's some of the reasons. One is to satisfy the lust of the flesh. Entertainment or immorality. You just want to be entertained. You just want to feel the thrill of that first look. Another reason, it can be to satisfy heartfelt passions that may even be biblical, but not seeking them God's way. In the context of a lifelong commitment to God and embracing the sacrificial demands of such a commitment. Here's what I'm saying. A lot of people, young men, have a heartfelt passion, a desire to be with someone of the opposite sex. That's biblical, but you're going about it all the wrong way. You're trying to meet that need or satisfy that passion without a lifelong commitment. Another reason is a consumer mentality. Test drive several models before making a decision. Well, the problem is this, young man. I want you to understand this. You cannot enter into a relationship with someone of the opposite sex without creating a bond. Even if there is no physical contact whatsoever, you cannot enter into a relationship without creating a bond in you and a bond in her. So that when you are finally married to someone else, there's two ways of looking at it. You go to the altar, not a complete man, because part of you has already been given to different women. Or you go to the altar, not alone, but with all the women that you've already had relationships with. It's just an impossibility. And again, this is whether there is physical contact or whether there is not physical contact. It is an impossibility. Now, also, one of the reasons why this is done is simply ignorance. My people are destroyed for a lack of knowledge. Now, I want us to look at several things that are very, very important. We're going to look at the time of courtship first. But before I do that, I just want to share with you something. You know where Christ says that if you've hated someone in your heart, it's as though you've committed murder. And if you look at someone lustfully, it's though you have committed adultery. Here's what I want you to see. The thing that most comes out of these commands is that God cares about people. God cares about people because God is love, but God also cares about people because they belong to him. He made them. And to deface them, defile them, even with their permission, is a horrendous thing in the eyes of God. Now, as I was sharing with a young man just at the table there, I'm you know, I will go out of my way not to be a violent person. I am a Christian. People can push me around. People can do all sorts of things to me. I am not going to respond. But if someone intentionally I knew was going to try to hurt my daughter, they would have to kill me. It's just not going to happen while I have breath in me. Hurt her in any way. It's just not going to happen. Now, if I being evil can love my daughter in this way, if I being a person who has renounced violence, but will become incredibly violent if you try to hurt my daughter, if I being this way, then what about a righteous God? The most dangerous things or at least one of the most dangerous thing, young man, you will ever do is enter into a relationship with a girl who belongs to God. It's the only case in Scripture where God says, forget it. I'm not even going to answer your prayers. I mean, I wish that you could see. And I know when older people told me this, I didn't like it, but it's still true. I have a daughter. I can't. I'm not a big man, a strong man. My body's broken. But you're not going to hurt her. You're just not going to do it. I will come after you. I mean, the love that you have for your daughter is absolutely phenomenal. And to think that 16 years from now, some boy is going to use her on a date. No. But now imagine God, whom I love for my daughter, can't even be described as love compared to God's love for His daughter. I want you to walk with that kind of fear, that kind of fear in your hearts. And it's not just not just hurting them. You walk up to my daughter and you treat her like a boy. You'll hear from me really quick. You don't touch her. You don't slap her on the back. You don't wrestle with her. You don't even talk to her like you would your friend. Are you going to hear from me? I would that God would put the fear of God in your heart to treat girls whether they want it or not. Because some of them don't even want to be treated in a special way. But that you would treat them as they ought to be treated. With a dignity realizing they don't belong to you. And to realize that every little thing you do to that girl, you dishonor her father. And you dishonor her God. I used to use this illustration. And I'll tell you it just because it's so just points it out so clearly. If I woke up one morning, say I was first day of deer season. I was going to go hunting. I'm all excited. And I wake up at three in the morning and I go out to my truck. It's not there. And I'm pacing back and forth five, six hours looking for my truck. What's happened in my truck? And all of a sudden, one of you young guys pulls up in my truck and said, Mr. Walsh, I just want to take the truck around for a while. Here's the keys. Thanks. It's disgusting. That there would be so much lack of respect. And yet you will go to a girl. Without ever addressing first her father. And ask his permission. To have anything to do with her. Now you've probably never seen it in this way before. I know you some of you guys I've talked to your good guys. But you're a lot like me. No one's ever told you these things. You will walk up to a girl. And you will ask her out. Or you will do something with her. I mean, if her father is just a decent man. She is. I mean, she's his life. And you're going to go talk to her. And ask her to go do stuff. Without ever honoring him to talk to him. To ask his permission. And again. Some of you guys have much greater character and integrity. I'm sure of it than I had. When I became a new believer. But I want you to start seeing things. Not through the eyes of your culture. But through the eyes of Scripture. Through the eyes of human dignity. Learning to restore honor. Where honor is due. You see. This is extremely important. We're a people who honor no one. Don't do that. You go to her father. Now he might just say. What are you even calling me for? I don't care. That's how perverse our culture has become. If that's the case. Go to her pastor. Go to someone in authority. In her life. Try to honor them. This is very, very important. We're going to talk about that. But right now we're going to talk about. The time for courtship. Or the time for you to begin. Entertaining the thoughts. Of having a relationship. With someone of the opposite sex. Now. First of all. I want to talk about the awakening. When young people are awakened. To the opposite sex. It is not a sign to participate. But a sign to begin preparation. Now first of all. We ought to protect children. We ought to allow them. To maintain in their state of innocence. Much longer than what's happened today. You know. You see. Seven and eight year old little girls. That are talking about boyfriends. And girlfriends. And this. And that. And it's sick. It's just sick. It just shows you what our culture is. And adults egg it on. Encourage it. And laugh about it. And it just shows how perverted. Our society is. Little children ought to be thinking. About building tree houses. And playing with dolls. And doing all sorts of things. But we are a culture. That is just literally engulfed in perversion. Sexual perversion. I mean everything. Just everything. You can't even buy a pair of tires. Without there being an advertisement. That promotes this type of thing. This is the kind of culture that you live in. So we need to keep people protected. Our children protected. But once they do awaken to this. It is not a time. A sign for them to participate. It's a sign for them to prepare. Okay. Now son. You understand this. Okay. Now we go into. We even increase our training. Your father will now even increase more. To teach you. To be a man. So that you can enter. These types of relationships. You see. Now. I want to talk to you about. The lie of adolescence. Read some things that I've written. Adolescence is a lie. It is a lie. Okay. Adolescence is usually defined. As the stage between childhood and adulthood. When a young person is discovering. His or her identity. And asserting his or her independence. It is the invention of evolutionary thought. And is the greatest obstacle to a child's growth. To adulthood. First of all. Like I said earlier. Adolescence is just. Something that has spun off. From evolution. Okay. That there's this period of time. Between childhood and adulthood. Where a child. Asserts its independence. What it's basically saying. Where a child rebels. Now this. This. This is not found. Really in human history. Until it was. It began to be promoted. In Western culture. That this child is expected. To rebel. It's supposed to rebel. There's something wrong. If the child doesn't rebel. Against authority. That's not in scripture. That's not biblical. At all. Not at all. Now. The result of adolescence. A youth passes to adolescence. Where he or she is allowed to participate. In the privileges of adulthood. Without being required to assume. The responsibilities of adulthood. Now listen. This is very important. What would you do. Or even if. You know. The room was filled with 13. 14 year olds. If I walked in. And said. Tonight. I'm going to be addressing. Those of you. Who are adolescents. They wouldn't be offended. Neither would you. But if I walked in. I said. Okay. Children. Today. I'm going to be talking to you. Little boys. About certain things. That are very important. Most of those young guys. We want. Who you calling a boy. Not a boy. Well. Then what are you. Are you a man. No. I'm adolescents. See the advantage. No. One's going to call me a boy. Even though. I'm not a man. I'm in this stage. Of adolescence. Where I demand. That people. Let me participate. In the privilege of adulthood. Even though. I can't assume. The responsibilities of adulthood. Let me play in the game. Even though. I'm not prepared. Or deserve to be there. Or can even handle. Being there. Some of you. Are there. I don't want. To be offensive. It's just true. Would you define. Yourself. As a mature man. Many of you. Would say. I don't know. Well. Then what would. You call yourself. Well. No one's calling me. A boy. What do you want. To be called. See. You demand. To be able. To participate. In all the privileges. Of adulthood. Even though. You've not assumed. The responsibilities. Of adulthood. That's what adolescence. Is. So you can go out. Drive your car. And you can get drunk. And you can have sex. And you can do this. And you can do that. Just like a man. Even though. You can't assume. Any of the responsibilities. Nor are you prepared. Someone wants. To go with me. Bear hunting. With a long bow. I'm going to go. Show me. How you can shoot. Because when. That thing charges. You better not miss. Let me see your technique. Let me see you put. How many arrows. In that bullseye. At 30 yards. Let me see. What you can do. I can't. Well. You don't need. To be bear hunting. With a long bow. You need. To be prepared. You need. To prepare yourself. And again. Let me iterate this. Because it's so important. For you to grasp. Ahold of this. What are you? We live. In a culture. Where a lot of times. My wife. She'll sit there. And go. Sometimes she has. To go to the mall. And she'll just like. Come back. And she'll be infuriated. And I go. And it's always. The same thing. She goes. I don't know. If they're. They're not girls. They're not men. I don't know. What they are. There's this. Type. They have. Adam's apple. So I know. They're male. And they walk. Around the malls. With their little. Flippy hairdos. And they're no chest. And they're just. Bracelets. And everything else. And they're just. Walking around. Chasing girls. She goes. It's absolutely. Pathetic. Where are. The men. But see. As long as. You don't have to be. A boy. You don't have to be. A man. You can be in between. You can be an adolescent. You can be someone. In that developmental. Stage. Put this. In your mind. This. I think. It's very healthy. You're either. A boy. Or a man. Now. Also. Put this. In your mind. You earn. The right. To begin. To think. About a relationship. With the opposite. Sex. It is not. Your right. You earn. The right. By preparing. When can. You think. About entering. Into a relationship. With the opposite. Sex. When you're. A man. When you're. A man. Until then. You have. No business. Touching. Some man's. Daughter. Calling. On. Some man's. Daughter. You have. No business. Doing. I want you. Just look. At the university. For a moment. Any university. In my day. The university. Was a meat market. I can't. Imagine. That it's. Reformed. And gotten. Better. I mean. Even secular. Writers. Write on the. Sodom. And. Gomorrah. That universities. Are. The lax. Moral. Standards. Sexual. Freedom. All these different. Things that are going on. That are just. Outlandish. Outlandish. So. Let's. Just look at this. You take. Let's say. Five thousand. Small universities. Take five thousand. Young men. Who have never been. Trained in manhood. Never been. Trained in manners. Respect. Authority. Nothing. They're just a. Product of. Spongebob. Then. You put them. With five thousand. Young girls. Who've never been. Tutored by a. Godly woman. They've never been. Instructed in piety. Modesty. Chastity. Purity. Anything. You put them together. What do you got? A modern university. A modern university. And. This. This. Is a reality. And. I'm not saying this. To hurt you. I'm saying this. Simply. Because. It's true. Simply. Because. It's true. Now. People always ask me. What are we supposed to do? Well. It begins. With you. You can't go back. And restart. Your life. I can't go back. And restart. Mine. I wish I had a different. Childhood. I wish I had different. Instruction. I wish I had known. The Bible. All these different. Things. The fact is. I didn't. Now. There's going to be things. I'm never going to be. They're lost. To me. I started. So late. Knew. So little. About manhood. Didn't know anything. About it. All right. But here's the thing. The Reformation. Can start. With my house. The Reformation. Can start. With my children. I'll never climb. All the way. Up the mountain. But I can carry. My family. Up the mountain. As far as I can go. And from there. They can take off. And have a better opportunity. Than I ever had. You see. It goes back. To that thing. You know. The men. Come back. From World War Two. They work. All the time. In a factory. Because they want. To give their children. The things. They've never had. I want. To work. All the time. To give my children. The things. I never had. But they're not. Material things. They're godly. Things. Their character. Integrity. Christlikeness. Now. The danger. Of adolescence. As I've said. The immature. Youth. Is allowed. To participate. In activities. That require. Adult. Maturity. In order. To avoid. Serious harm. Also. If. Since. Young men. Are allowed. To demand. The privileges. Of adulthood. Without ever. Assuming. Adulthood. They never. Become adults. They never. Become adults. They never. Become men. And. You see. This. Guys. I mean. They're guys. My age. They haven't grown up. They haven't grown up. It's still all about. Getting out of work. Hanging out at the bar. Going to basketball games. With their friends. You know. And going to basketball games. With your friends. That's not bad. But that's their life. I mean. That's all they think about. It's just. Playing with the buds. You know. Just. Just hanging out. Doing stuff. And. I'm like. Man. You're 49 years old. But. That's the kind of culture. You're growing up in. And. You need to understand that. There's a time. For everything. It's not that all things. Are bad. It's a good time. To be with friends. There's a good time. For doing what you did. Here. Tonight. And. All these things. But. We come out of a culture. That's consumed. By these things. These things. Are just. Like you're doing here. Tonight. Or. Like when you go out. With your friends. Those things. Are wonderful. But. They're not the core. Of your life. You see that. The core of your life. Is. Is your wife. And your children. And more importantly. Than that. You're God. And being everything. He wants you to be. Now. I want us to look. First of all. At. An indispensable. First truth. Both. The young man. And woman. Must grasp. The ultimate. Divine purpose. For marriage. They must move. Beyond romance. To biblical reality. Now. Let's look at some things. First of all. Why marriage. Why a relationship. With the opposite sex. Well. First Corinthians. 1031. Whether then you eat. Or drink. Or whatever you do. It's all for the glory of God. It's God. I want to carry out. Your will. I want to do this. For your part. Your praise. Your glory. Your honor. This is all about you. OK. Secondly. The advancement. Of God's kingdom. Jesus said. Pray then. In this way. Our father. Who is in heaven. Hallowed be your name. Your kingdom come. Your will be done. On earth. As it is in heaven. I would have loved. To have seen. The face of Jesus Christ. When he said these words. I think it would have been wonderful. And it would have been frightening. I mean. Here was a man. Who lived. For the glory. Of God. Everything he did. Was for the glory. Of God. And when he spoke. Those words. Hallowed be your name. Your name. Throughout all. Created order. Your name. Be special. Be singled out. Above every name. Be given its supremacy. Your kingdom come. Your will be done. Everything. He was. Was about that. That's why. You enter into marriage. That's why. You go to school. That's why. Everything that you do. You do it. That through you. God's name. Might be worshipped. His kingdom. Might come. His will. Might be done. That's why. You exist. And it's not. Claustrophobic. It's what sets a man. Free. You actually. Live for something. And you actually. Die for something. I mean. You're. I mean. It's like having. Every fiber. Of your body. Made alive. Resurrected. To live. This way. Sometimes. I forget. About how many men. Around me. Live with. No purpose. I can't imagine. But to live. With purpose. And this is not just about. Being a missionary. This is not the language. Of a missionary. Or a preacher. Or some guy. Who gets smarter. In South America. No. This is. This is the word. Of every one of you. If you are. Christian. If you're. Engineer. Businessman. Salesman. Whatever you become. Teacher. Orthodontist. It doesn't matter. Your. Entire life. Is geared. Around. I do. This thing. My primary purpose. Is the glory. Of God. That his kingdom. Come. That his will. Be done. I enter into marriage. This way. I enter. Into this relationship. With this girl. That God. Might be glorified. In a way. He could never be glorified. If I didn't. Enter in. That the kingdom. Would not come. The will of God. Would not be done. And the way it will. If I enter. Into a relationship. With this woman. That's what. Word is supposed. To be about. Now. In our marriage. One of the number one. Things that we do. As men. Is we represent. What it we. We demonstrate. To people. What it looks like. The relationship. Between Christ. And his church. When. When people look. At my relationship. With my wife. They ought. To see. What Christ. Relationship. With the people. That the church. Looks at. Appears to be. Now. Let me give you. An example. How this works. Let's say. I come home. From a long trip. I'm very tired. I'm wore out. And I'm sick. And I come to the door. My house. Now my wife. Is a very godly lady. But this time. Let's just say. That. That she's really. Not. She doesn't have. Very good attitude. About the whole thing. And let's say. She's just. She's just angry. And so many things. Are going on. All right. I open up. That door. I have just been. Fighting battles. For three weeks. In Asia. I come home. I expect. To be received. Almost like. A hero's welcome. But I get met. At the door. With problems. And anger. And all kinds. Of things. Let's say. Now. What's going on. Christ has given me. An opportunity. The sovereignty of God. Has given me. An opportunity. To represent. What Christ looks like. On this planet. To refer. Back to her. With unconditional love. With a relationship. Undefiled. And incorruptible. And through. That response. To her. To actually. Teach her. How she should be. You see. Marriage. Is supposed to represent. Christ's relationship. With the church. Also. To raise up. A godly heritage. To the Lord. We read the passage. About Abraham. Didn't we. In Genesis. Eighteen. Nineteen. For I have chosen him. So that he may command. His children. And his household. After him. To keep the way. Of the Lord. Marriage. Has a purpose. Of what. Representing Christ. But also. Demonstrating. What the father's love. Looks like. To children. And also. To raise up. A godly heritage. Unto the Lord. And guys. I want to tell you something. This. Requires. Sacrifice. Now. There's another purpose. I said. The glory of God. The advancement. Of Christ's kingdom. Now. Here's another. Conformity. To Christ. I want you to listen. To something. You know. Romans. Eight. Twenty. Eight. God works. All things. Together. For good. For those. Who love him. Called according. To his purpose. Then it goes on. And tells us. What that good is. What is God's good. That he's trying. To do in our life. Conform us. To the image. Of Christ. God's greatest. Purpose. Is to. Give you. The character. Of Christ. Now. That's the greatest. Purpose. I think. Of marriage. To make. You. Like Christ. A young guy. Comes to me. And he says. Man. I want to marry. So and so. And I say. Why? He says. Man. She's beautiful. I love being around her. When I'm with her. I feel really great. This is absolutely. Wonderful. And we can talk. When he gets through. Finished. When he gets finished. I say this to him. Let me see if I understand you. You want to marry her. Because she meets. All your selfish. Self-centered. Desires. And he said. No, that's not what I mean. I said. But that's what you said. You want to marry her. Because she's beautiful. What are you going to do? When she's not beautiful anymore? What are you going to do? When someone else comes along? That's more beautiful than she is. You can do what most men do. You can divorce her. And what do you say? You want to marry her. Because you can talk. What's going to happen? When you can't talk with her. But you can talk with your secretary. You're going to leave her. You see, so much of what we think is love is nothing more than us basing our life on our own selfish desires. Also, people have this idea of love that's that's. It's mythical. It's it's. It's cartoonish. Let me give you an example. A man and a woman. They're both married to other people. But they have an affair. And what do they say? And we just couldn't help. It was just love. You know, it's bigger than both of us. You know, well, what what are we saying? I mean, just think about what they're saying. They've turned love into at least a personal or impersonal force that actually exists in the universe that's more powerful than people and can cause them to do bad things. You see, well, I fell out of love. I'm not in love with her anymore. I mean, you can't blame me. I'm not in love with her. You see, love went away. It left us. It abandoned us. We've turned love into this force that can control people. That's absolutely insane. That's not love. That's what comes in every movie you've ever seen. Well, it was just bigger than the both of it. What was? Where is this power? What are you talking about? No, it wasn't. What was bigger than both of you was both of your lusts. Has nothing to do with love. You see, why do we marry? Well, we're going to later, if we have time, we're going to talk about all the wonderful things of marriage from romance to thinking your wife is beautiful and all these different things that are absolutely incredible. But the basis of marriage is this. God called me to lay down my life for a certain daughter of his. God called me with an irrevocable calling, just like he did call me to the mission field, everything else. He called me to lay down my life for his daughter, Rosario Casado. Now, Rosario Washer. That's my calling, and it's from God. Now, if she's beautiful, praise the Lord. If she's deformed in an accident, not going anywhere. Why? This wasn't about I'm marrying her because she's beautiful. I married her because of an irrevocable calling. And you say, well, we only got one life, not as Christians. Yeah, lost man can talk that way. I've only got one chance at happiness. I'm going for it. Go for it then. But if you're a Christian, you don't believe that. You see, God has called you to commit your life to this person. That's what marriage is. And that way, if it's wonderful, praise God. If it goes down in the dumps, you're not going anywhere. Now, here's something very important about marriage. When you marry a couple of days after marriage, you're going to go, what have I done? Here's why she's not going to be the person you thought she was. She's going to have weaknesses you didn't even know about. OK, and let me tell you, she's going to have weaknesses in some of the areas where you most wanted her not to have weaknesses. Who did it? The devil? No, God. Why? Because marriage is about your conformity to Christ, and when we sum up conformity to Christ, it's the learning of unconditional love. And here's the question. How can you learn unconditional love if you're married to a woman who meets all your conditions? How can you learn to practice grace to a woman who does everything right? You see, you've got to ask yourself a question over and over, what am I about? Am I about this life, this world? Am I about me or am I about God, His will and being conformed to the image of Christ? Do I want what God wants? Guys, the whole world's tearing itself apart because of selfish desires. What are the reasons for wars and everything else? Selfish desires. Why do people get divorced? Selfish desires. Self, self, me, me, self, self. No, we're to die to self and we're to serve. And in doing that, we will find the greatest joy. Now, I want to talk to you for a moment about the win of courtship for a young man. The biblical principle is simple and challenging. A young man may pursue a relationship with the opposite sex after he has embraced adulthood and its responsibilities. If you have not embraced adulthood and its responsibilities, then forget about the opposite sex because little boys can't do that. I understand some of you guys in here can whip me in a fight, but know this, it'll take two ambulances to haul us both off. I'm just trying to really whack you over the head, and this is so this is the idea of, you know, you want it, you want to be an athlete, you want to be certain things, and that's absolutely wonderful. And, you know, you can't get there unless you prepare. Some of you may have scholarships in sports. You didn't get those scholarships by not preparing. One day, a desire opened up in your heart. You wanted to play football or you wanted to play baseball or whatever. And so what did you do? You said, I want to do this. So what did you do? You prepared. And it meant you went without things. You cut off relationships. You did all kinds of things in order to prepare yourself. It's the same way. You're sitting there going, I want a relationship with the opposite sex. I want to get married one day. Absolutely wonderful. Now, prepare, prepare. Now, let's look at some things that must happen in your life before you can think about the opposite sex. First of all, a man must be willing and able to separate from father and mother and form a new family unit. Listen to what it says. Genesis 2, 24. For this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to a wife and they shall become one flesh. Now, first of all, it says, for this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother, not a boy. A man shall leave his father and mother. Leave is a very strong word. It's translated from a Hebrew word meaning to leave behind, depart from, forsake, abandon, neglect. The point is not that we should neglect our parents. The point is, is that we separate from them and become a complete different family unit standing on our own. Guys, are you doing that? Now, let me say something here. It's very important. I wouldn't have had to say this 500 years ago, but I do have to say it now. And it's not your fault. It's just the reality in which you live. And so I want to apply this wisely. You guys are in college. Some of you are noble guys. You work hard. You're in college. You're studying. And right now, you just you couldn't leave your father and mother. You couldn't support yourself completely, entirely, maybe a lot of things. That doesn't necessarily mean that you can't be thinking about or even entering into a relationship in order to get married. OK, because we do live in a different a different time. Some of you are noble. Some of you work hard. You're studying. Maybe you care to have a job in this. You can't really break away. Maybe your dad's still helping you with car insurance. Maybe he's paying some of your tuition. I don't want to take away from that. But I will tell you this, if your parents are doing everything. And you're just at school. And they take care of everything, then you just need to back off on this idea of thinking about a mate. Now, if you're a young man and you're studying hard, your father approves what you're doing. You're working hard. You're doing what you have to. And God brings someone in your life. Go for it. OK, I don't want you to think that I'm saying just because you're in college, you can't. Be participating in some relationship. But you kind of know what I'm talking about. If you're a boy and your mom and dad are still taking care of everything about you. You don't need to be thinking about a woman. But if you're going on now with your university and you're working hard and you're coming, you know, where you're making progress and your dad can approve you and others around you, see you as growing into a man, even though still maybe dependent some on your mom and dad. That's OK, guys. That's OK. OK, but it does say that we leave our father and our mother. I love my mother. After my father died, she raised me and my two sisters and she put us through college. She did all kinds of things. But when I got married, my mother no longer was the most important person in my life. I took care of my mother, but my wife is the most important person in my life. OK, I joined to her. The Hebrew there is it means to cling, to stick, to stay close, to cleave, to keep close. Now, let me read this to you. A new relationship with a spouse, with a wife results in marked changes in other relationships. You change your relationship with your siblings, with your best friends, your co-workers, even co-workers in the ministry. This is particularly true with regard to the opposite sex. When a man says yes to his wife on the day of marriage, he is saying no to every other woman on the planet. OK, and you have entered into a new relationship and a relationship that is a priority. Now, again, I like to go hunting, kayaking, doing all kinds of things, canoeing, fishing, all kinds of things with my boys, with some of my friends, things like that. And I do that some. I mean, you know, I'm not cut off from the rest of the world, but they're not my priority. They're not my good time. OK, it's my wife, my wife. It must be my wife. Let me put it to you this way. And this is a really gross illustration and it's just a hyperbole. It's an exaggeration, but it gives you an idea of what I'm talking about. If I'm in a boat and my wife and my three children are in that boat and I'm the only one that can swim and it starts sinking, who am I going to save? I'm going to save my wife. Now, I'm going to try to save them all. But the point is the priority in my life is a woman. I'm not one flesh with my children. I'm one flesh with a woman. But here's here's the good part of this. A man who loves his wife more than any person on this planet will have the happiest kids in the world, will have the most secure children in the world because they're looking at that going. Dad's not going anywhere. This home is like a rock. OK, this is very, very important. Do you know why they say there's no love like a mother's love? First of all, the Bible doesn't say that. And I appreciate the statement, but here's something I want you to think of. A lot of women love their children in a parasitic form. Because their husband is not meeting their emotional needs, they cling on to their children and feed off their children and children and we're not given to a family in order to meet the emotional needs of the parents. And that's why when a lady who's been neglected by her husband has a son and her son is everything to her. And then a young lady comes along and wants to marry that son. That mom sees that young lady as an adulteress, someone who's stealing her son. You see how sin can just trickle down and kill you everywhere. Now, important signs of male maturity. OK, we're going to look at what is a mature male. First of all, a personal unaided devotion to God. And when I say unaided, none of us are an island to ourselves. There's no lone wolf Christianity. We all need other people. But if your Christianity is only exists because of the strength of your father, the strength of your mother or whatever, you are not to even begin to enter into a relationship with someone of the opposite sex. Please don't do that to them. Because see, when you enter into that relationship and you get married, you become the head and there's not going to be anybody there to help you. So it must be unaided devotion to God. Let me give you a negative example from the Scriptures. King Joash, when he was under a godly authority figure, he did what was right in the eyes of the Lord. But when he came out from under that authority, he did some very, very bad things. He departed from the Lord. Listen to this. Second Chronicles 24, 1 and 2. Joash was seven years old when he became king and he reigned 40 years in Jerusalem. And his mother's name was Zibiah from Beersheba. And Joash did what was right in the sight of the Lord all the days of Jehoiada the priest. But now listen, Second Chronicles 24, 17 and 18. But after the death of Jehoiada, the officials of Judah came and bowed down to the king and the king listened to them. They abandoned the house of the Lord, the God of their fathers, and served the ashram and the idols. So wrath came upon Judah and Jerusalem for their guilt. All the while he had someone over him. He reigned like a godly king. And as soon as that authority was removed, he abandoned the Lord. Look, before you think about leading some daughter of God, before being her head, before marrying her, you better be a spiritual man unaided by your father and your mother. You better be able to stand on your own. In the end, Joash murdered Zechariah, the son of the priest who cared for him. OK, now, also, there must be, first of all, important signs of male maturity, a personal unaided devotion to God. Secondly, devotion to God's purpose in the context of the family. And we've already talked about this a bit. You're getting married not because the girl's beautiful. You're getting married because you believe that God has called you into that marriage to lay down your life, to bless a daughter of his, to care for her and to raise up a godly heritage to the Lord. Now, another sign of maturity is this knowledge and application of the scriptures. You know the scriptures. You're going to have to lead a woman. You're going to have to teach children. You better know the scriptures. In Peru, on the Amazon, a lot of the pastors there use this illustration. The Amazon is a very dangerous river, very dangerous. The current's very strong. There's a lot of water moving through there. But also, it's dangerous because underneath the water, you can have these huge trees that you can barely see. Then they'll rip a boat to pieces. OK, and I've heard pastors describe men who were not men of the scriptures, yet were heads of family. And he says like a blind man going full speed in a speedboat down the Amazon with a boat full of dynamite and their wife and children in the back. You see, right now you make a foolish decision and basically you're the one who pays. You make a foolish, unbiblical decision with your family. You hurt your wife, you hurt your children, and you will be called on the carpet by God. Men always want to talk about their headship and their authority. Well, guess what? Headship and authority put you in the limelight of God's judgment. You're responsible now for his daughter. You're responsible for children that he has given you. And that's extremely important, young men. That's why I say it can be a fearful thing. Listen to this. This is the way the king was to act in Israel. In Deuteronomy 17, 18 and 20, it says, Now it shall come about when he sits on the throne of his kingdom. He shall write for himself a copy of this law on a scroll in the presence of the Levitical priests. It shall be with him and he shall read it all the days of his life, that he may learn to fear the Lord, his God, by carefully observing all the words of this law and these statutes. That his heart may not be lifted up above his countrymen, that he may not turn aside from the commandment to the right or the left so that he and his sons may continue long in his kingdom in the midst of Israel. This is what authority is supposed to do. If you're going to become a husband, you become an authority, an authority of a family, and your whole life must be governed by Scripture. But notice two things here that are extremely, extremely important. He says that your heart may not be lifted up above your countrymen. A person who has authority begins to abuse authority if he doesn't walk in the fear of the Lord. He begins to do things and treat other people as though they were lower than him. And they do not realize that the reason they were given authority was to serve, not to be king. You're given authority to use your authority for the blessing of other people. That's why you're given authority. Also, that he may not turn aside, because if the king turns aside, he leads the whole country aside in the same way. If a man turns aside, he leads his whole family away from God and he will be held accountable. Now, another sign of maturity is a Christlike character, a Christlike character. Now, this is displayed in Galatians 5. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Men, my wife's greatest need right now, I can tell you exactly what it is. My wife's greatest need is that her husband be more like Jesus Christ. My children's greatest need is that I be more like Jesus Christ. The whole world's greatest need is that I be more like Jesus Christ. And you can say the same thing. Now, Christlike character is a pursuit that begins the day we're converted and it goes on until the day we die. And none of us, not even the Apostle Paul, is going to reach perfection. But one thing you must do, men, you must be serious, not so much about what you do. You must be serious about what you are, because what you do will flow out of who you are. Men, we study the Scriptures not so we can fight with somebody doctrinally. We study the Scriptures that we might be conformed to the image of Christ. That's why we do it. That's why we need the Scripture so desperately. And we need prayer so desperately, men. It's who we are that affects those around us, not just what we do. Now, another thing that's very important that shows maturity is moral fortitude. Listen to something here that is so not our culture. First Corinthians 16, 13, Paul says, be alert, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. Now, I want you to notice something here, and this is very important. He says, act like men. That right there tells us that the Scriptures teach us that men act differently than women. You're raised in a culture where you are told men do not act differently than women and women do not act differently. And men, you live in a culture where if men practice their masculinity, they are shamed by the people around them. They're made fun of and women are applauded for manifesting masculinity. Men today are applauded for manifesting femininity and women are applauded for manifesting masculinity. Go figure, go figure. Now, I want you to notice something here, guys, don't be pressed into their mold. He says, be strong. I mean, I tell you, I'm married. I'm married just the perfect woman for me. I'll come in, you know, on the Web, on the Web, you know, like ten thousand people are calling for my death. I just preach at a place where everybody wants to beat me up afterwards. I come home feeling kind of sad. My wife says, what's wrong? I said, man, those guys won't beat me up. Those guys are trashing me. And it's just like everybody's against me. She said, they're supposed to be against you. This is what you do, man up, go out there and fight again. It's what you're called to do. This is what men do. They stand against falsehood, go out there and preach. Men, here's what I want you to realize. This is something this will help you later on when you get married. Let's say all hell's breaking loose. Everybody in the world has just come to your office with signs down with you. Everybody hates you. The world's falling apart. Happens to me about every other day. I get in my car and I drive home and I'm trying to get my heart right. And when I pull in that driveway, I do not get out of that car until I've settled some issues. It's not about me. It's not about my whining. It's not about my needs. It's not about my emotion. It's not about all this goofy stuff that people are telling you as men. You need to be concerned about. My only concern is getting out of that car and walking into that house strong and joyful. Because the burdens I'm supposed to carry as a man, my wife is not supposed to carry, nor are my children supposed to carry. So you've been told that you need to marry a woman who can, you know, just just carry you basically. You can share all your emotions with just die to your emotions, OK? Just die to all that psycho babble and everything else you've been told that you ought to be feeling inside. Say no to your feelings. And like my wife says, man up and just do it. Carry the burden. Cast your cares upon Christ because your wife was not created to carry your burdens. Children were not created to carry your burdens. And brothers in Christ can carry some of your burdens. But guys, I want to tell you honestly, I see Christian guys get together sharing their burdens. They sound like a bunch of just girls. They've been trained to talk a certain way. You know what's amazing? It's like when terrible catastrophes happened during my childhood, not to me, but to the nation and other things. No one went around to high schools providing counselors for kids who are emotionally distraught because they thought the world was coming to an end. They started doing that when psychologists told us that's how we are feeling and we need to get that out of our system. They've trained us like Pavlov's dog just to be soft. There is a biblical casting your cares upon Christ and there is one brother strengthening another brother. And that is good. And sometimes we all need that. But guys, we're just so you know, even the Christian songs today, I hear some of these guys singing these songs and they're just whining about all their feelings. Makes me want to throw up. It's not what you are. You're being recreated in the image of something that's not biblical. Again, don't take this to an extreme. I'm not saying that you can't share your needs. I'm not saying that you can't do all these things, but be very careful. They've turned men into little emotional wastebaskets. And that's not what we are. We're supposed to deal with problems. We're supposed to carry burdens. We're supposed to carry things and not trouble our wives or our children with them. It ends with us. Again, there are times we can share with our wife. But guys, be very, very careful about becoming this emotionally needy person. That's not what you are. It's not what you were created to be. Now, listen to Jeremiah 12, 5, and the Lord uses this verse in my life so much. If you have run with footmen and they have tired you out, then how can you compete with horses? If you fall down in a land of peace, how will you do in the thicket of the Jordan? And it's like sometimes I'll say, Lord, you know, these people said this and these people are writing this about me. And these people twisted what I said in this book. And this did not happen this way. And all these different things. It's like, Paul, if you can't run and be strong in the midst of this, how strong are you going to be when they throw you in prison? How strong are you going to be when you stand in a court of law and they totally defile your name and accuse you of things you never did? How are you going to stand when one day someone puts a gun to your head and tells you to deny me? If you can't run in this time of peace, how are you going to run when it really gets tough? There's a strength that we should have and we need to cultivate that strength. Guys, you live in a culture that's cultivating your weaknesses. They want you to be weak. They want you to be gushy. They want you to be jellyfish. That's not what God wants you to be. Now, let's go to one more here that's very important. One of the greatest signs of maturity is labor. Votie Bauckham is a dear friend of mine. I've learned so much from him. He told me a while back, he said, after talking to a young man who wants to court my daughter, he said after talking to him about his spirituality, about his walk with Christ, he said, the next thing I'm going to investigate is this. I'm going to say, young man, do you delight in God honoring labor? If you do not delight in working hard, get out of my house. Again, you were raised in a culture that does not delight in God honoring hard work. You don't. As a matter of fact, that's the fool in your culture. It's the cool guy who slips through and doesn't do anything but makes more money than everybody else is the one that's to be admired. Not in God's sight, not in God's sight, and not even in your grandfather's sight. Go home and ask him if he's still alive. Do you delight in God honoring hard work? I can get a young man to be as dumb as a brick, but if he will work hard, if he will work hard, he can surpass anybody else. God honoring labor. Let me just give you a few things from the scriptures. First of all, slothfulness in the early church was considered one of the seven deadly sins. One of the cardinal sins are capital vices, along with gluttony, greed, wrath, envy and pride and others. It was considered slothfulness, laziness was considered to be a deadly or mortal sin. Today, you look at a lot of the movies and things, what goes on? Who's the guy who ends up winning? This guy doesn't do anything, he's just talented. He's a bum, but then he walks out there and he gets it all done. That's look what the devil does. Look at your culture, what it's trying to teach you. It's not the hardworking guy. The hardworking guy gets made fun of. He has some Puritan ethic. He's an idiot. He can't really produce. He works hard and he never wins. That is not scripture. Another thing, hard work and diligence are greatly honored virtues of God, but laziness is considered a perilous and destructive device. Let's just look at some of the scriptures, as I said, ask yourself this question. Are you wise or are you shameful? Proverbs 10, 5, he who gathers in summer is a son who acts wisely, but he who sleeps in harvest is a son who acts shamefully. Are you diligent? Proverbs 13, 4, the soul of the sluggard or the lazy man craves and gets nothing. But the soul of the diligent is made fat or it prospers. Do you follow empty pursuits? And let me put down this way, sports, hobbies, entertainment. Proverbs 28, 19, he who tills his land will have plenty of food. But he who follows empty pursuits will have poverty and plenty. How many great sports figures in college are living on welfare right now? I just I just saw a thing on the ESPN or something where they were talking about just parading all these guys who were like superstar football players. And now they're just broke. Now, guys, let's look at this. Let's look at this biblically. First, I'm going to hit one side. Then I'm going to hit another. OK, one time, Votie Bauckham, someone asked him, they said, you know, your son's pretty athletic and pretty big. You know, he could be. Is he going to be in sports? And Votie goes, why? And they, you know, Votie's this great big guy and he can he can just talk that way if you want, you know, and he goes, why? And the person said, well, you know, sports produces character. Votie goes, OK, well, let's just think about that logically. Sports produces character. Therefore, those who have played sports the longest will be men of greatest character. Therefore, we will find the men of greatest character in the NBA and NFL. Doesn't work, does it? Doesn't. Now, let me look at something. We all know sports and athletics and everything else is a god here in our country. I mean, it's the Roman Empire made all over again. I'm not going to back down from it. It is. It is. Now, does that mean that all sports are bad? Absolutely not. Does it mean it's wrong to play in sports? It can be. It can be wrong to preach if you're not called to do it. But someone who sees that God has given them a purpose and a place in playing sports, someone who enjoys it. I don't see a problem in that. The only question is. God's not going to put you in a situation where it causes you to grow in ungodliness. If your sports is causing you, you know, you're on a team or something, it's causing you great turmoil and ungodliness. Doesn't mean that you need to leave, but it does mean you need to get some serious counsel and you need to get your priorities straight and you need to find a way that this thing ought to work, because it would be better to cut yourself off from sports than to have a healthy body and go to hell with it. Remember what Jesus said, pluck out your eye, cut off your hand, because it would be better to go through life maimed than to have a healthy eye and a healthy hand in hell. Guys, I can tell you so many people that have been a blessing to me in athletics. That were godly young men and really showed their mettle, but guys, look, don't play with this. God, Christ has to be centered. You have to know he's got me here for a purpose. And then if he's got you there for a purpose, look for avenues for you to use what God has given you as a blessing. I mean, I hate to point to media, but just look at Eric Little, chariots of fire. All right. There were people who told him to step down and not be in sports because he was going to be lifted up too highly. Yeah, there's a danger in that. There's a danger in that in preaching. But he used what God gave him. He used that gift to be a blessing that continues blessing. And, you know, if you're in sports, you know, you better be doing it for the glory of God. Now, guys, there's a difference between being in sports and someone who just all they do is watch sports. OK, it's OK to watch sports, it's OK to have your favorite teams and all those kind of things. But again, in so many people's lives, it's a God and it's wrong and it'll break up your marriage. It really will. Now, here's another question. Do you love pleasure? Proverbs 21, 17, he who loves pleasure will become a poor man. He who loves wine and oil will not become rich. You know, you live in a culture. That is, let's eat, drink for tomorrow we die. It's all about pleasure. You know, it's just amazing when my first philosophy class in 1979. OK, we discussed this hypothetical situation that was so preposterous to all of us that we didn't even want to do it. But it was required. And this was the situation. What is the ethic if they could create a machine that could entertain you or give you so much joy that you would want to sit in that machine 24 hours a day and it would give you pleasure, joy, entertainment and everything? But your body would deteriorate until it became just a blob of nothing. All right. Now. We thought that's preposterous. I mean, that's never going to happen. It has happened. You see people literally living their lives out in video games. Just pleasure, just just dreaming, just all kinds of things. And guys, even even media can be very, very dangerous. Let me give you an example. I don't know if it's Spider-Man one, two, three or one, but whatever it was, it was Spider-Man. He's swinging from a rope. All right. And and the guy who worked, John Green from England, who worked in our office, now he's working for us back in England. But he called me in there. He said, look at this trailer. I think it was Spider-Man two. Maybe he said, look at this trailer. And it's like a 45 second trailer. And it was literally it was unbelievable. It was it was marvelous. I mean, it was just it was mind blowing. And in itself, there was nothing wrong with it. OK, I want to make that clear. But it was 45 seconds of human doing things humans can't do. I mean, that guy is it's just unbelievable how fast he's moving. And there's music and there's all this stuff bombarding and scenes and everything. And when 45 seconds was up, it's like you're almost speechless. You can't breathe. Just it was fantastic. But here's the problem. It's not real. And you know what happens? Reality is no longer good enough. Reality is no longer exciting. So many people live their entire life in a fantasy world. Spider-Man doesn't exist. Wolverine doesn't have those things coming out of his knuckles. I mean, but the thing is, is when media and video games and everything else becomes so big in your life, literally reality is no longer any fun. This is the kind of culture that we've moved into. Do you love pleasure? Now, here's a question. Are you saving for your future and your children's future? Proverbs 13, 22. A good man leaves an inheritance to his children's children and the wealth of the sinner is stored up for the righteous. You know what some godly girls told me a while back? They said, man, you know, they just felt like God wanted them to marry. They wanted to be married. They were praying about their husband. And I said to them, I said, well, you know, I was in another church and I said, well, you know, there's a lot of young guys in this church, you know, in their 20s, 25, stuff like that. It's love the Lord, reading the Bible, all kinds of stuff. What's the problem? They said, Brother Paul, these guys work to save up for the next Xbox. They work to to get new tires on their cars like flashy rims, none of them even conceive of working to save for a house or to to to prepare something for family or something like that. They're boys. They if they get any money in their hand, it's to go play with their friends or it's to it's to buy, like I said, a new video game. Guys, that's true. I would encourage you guys right now, I don't care if you save it, start saving now, even if it's a dollar a week. Start realizing, look, you're not you're men. You say you're not married. I know you're not married. You're never going to be if you don't change some things. You see, I mean, start thinking this way. I mean, you should be thinking this way when you're 14. But because we have not been instructed, we're not even thinking this way when we're 25. These are important things to think about. These are principles of discipleship. Another question. Do you lead an undisciplined life? Second Thessalonians 3 10 and through 12. For even when we were with you, we used to give you this order. If anyone is not willing to work, then he is not to eat either. For we hear that some among you are leading an undisciplined life, doing no work at all, but acting like busybodies. Now, such persons we command and exhort in the Lord Jesus Christ to work in quiet fashion and eat their own bread. Let me encourage you with something. If you can if you can work hard, do your studies. OK, and and you lay aside time for growing in the Lord, things like that. You ought to be working. You ought to you should be working, guys, let me share with you right now, you're young, there will be no problem for you to pull 18 hour days. Men have done it all their lives. Be pulling 18 hour days, be working yourself, you say my folks pay well, tell them to stop paying, tell them to cut part of it off because you got a job over here. Work. It's the pressure. It's the hard work. It's the sweat and tears. It's going to shape you into a man. It's not just an easy ride and playing. Now, again, again, you have to form this, you know, in your context, some of you maybe have scholarships, some of you may be doing this and that. I don't want to put some bondage on you. But what I don't want you to do is just to walk around thinking college is a good time. It's not. You're supposed to be men. You're preparing for the future. You're working yourself into a tired state to be men. Now, let's go on with just a few more to have proper motives in your work. And guys, basically, it's this Proverbs 23, 4 through 5. Do not weary yourself to gain wealth. Cease from your consideration of it. When you set your eyes on it, it is gone. For wealth certainly makes itself wings like like an eagle that flies toward the heavens. Guys, you want to be wealthy. You're pathetic. You're just pathetic. If God makes you wealthy. And he uses your wealth to feed his people who are starving to death in other countries to help get them out of jail, things like that to send missionaries, praise God. But if you want to have nice things, you've sold your soul. Nice things. We're living in a war. We're getting close probably to the collapse of our own culture, our society, our country. And you want to be able to buy designer stuff. You can't get any more pathetic and trite than that, honestly. Now, if God makes you wealthy, praise God. He's given you a gift in that. Praise God. But here's the way I look at it. You're either called to go down in the well or hold the rope for those who go down. You're either called to be a missionary and to give your life in that or you're called to send men and to help them go down. Either way, if you're holding the rope, there's going to be scars on your hands. I tell you, wealth. Jesus talks more about wealth than probably anything, talks about money because it will damn a person. He doesn't say it is difficult for a prostitute to enter the kingdom. He doesn't say it's difficult for a corrupt politician to enter the kingdom. He says it's difficult for a rich man to enter into the kingdom because with that wealth comes everything this world can offer you. Nice things. Who cares? They're all going to rot. They're all going to rot. And here's something. Great works are not done by men who care about wealth. Battles are not fought and won by men who want to wear frilly clothes. It's very, very important to understand this. So we work not with improper motives, but proper ones. And that is to the glory of God. Whatever you do, do your work heartily as for the Lord rather than men. Colossians 3, 23 and also first Timothy 5, 8. But if anyone does not provide for his own and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. So it is for the glory of God we work and it is to provide for our families, but not to provide for our families things they don't need. Just heard of a famous singer who's pregnant about ready to give birth to a baby. And and she's talking about how she's going to give her the first gift is going to be a diamond crusted iPod or something like that. You know what that baby's going to become? Monster. We don't do that. I mean, we try to instill in those around us virtue that is going to be eternal. Now, guys, what my intention is, is to shake you up. To shake you up, I'm going to say things, things I've said are true, but the thing you're going to have to do that requires a lot of wisdom is figure out how this works in your life. And you don't want to be extreme outside of God's will on one way, but you don't want to be denying that these are calls to discipleship. But you have a different context. Each one of you, you've got to figure out how to work this out. Also, do not take things that are good and eliminate them out of your life. Just do not allow them to become gods in your life. OK, now, I don't know what I'll do tomorrow morning. There's a thing on I may give principles of courtship and things like that preparation for courtship. There's also a whole section here on a godly woman. And you say, well, what do I need to know about a godly woman? Have any of you ever read Proverbs 31, the godly woman? Guess what? It's not written to a woman. Most people fail to realize that it was written to a son. Guys, let me tell you something. I would be nothing, I think, humanly speaking, without the wife that God gave me. He gave me the exact person I needed. Really. And I want to tell you something. Your wife will make you. She'll break you. She can make you become something you could never be without her. She could destroy you. And some things that we may get to talk about, let me just share with you these things real quick. One, if that woman does not respect the authority of her father, she will not respect yours. Secondly, beauty is a wonderful thing. Sensuality, run from it like the girl had leprosy. A girl who dresses sensuously so that others can see her, you run from her like the plague. You run from her like the plague. Because do you think that sensuality is going to stop when she marries you? Sensuality is one of the most deadly things that a man can come up against. A girl who will not hide herself from men will not hide herself from men after she marries you. Beauty is an absolute wonderful thing. I married a beautiful, beautiful woman. Now, you want to marry a girl who is hidden, who is chaste, who is pure. Now, she might have a past that's very dark because she didn't know Christ. All right. God could take a girl who had a very dark past and turn her into a beautiful person. I'm not talking about you can only marry somebody who's just this, you know, Cinderella. Because, you know, we've all got dark pasts. But the thing about it is, you be careful. You know, don't, like my wife says, don't you play dumb with me. You know exactly what I'm talking about. You can't define sensuality, but when you see it, you know it. I know a lady who's a friend of mine, a friend of my wife's, who is literally, she looks like a supermodel. I'm not kidding you. And if she walked through that door right now, every one of you would turn around and look and just think to yourself, this is what you'd think. Wow, that's a that's a beautiful lady. That's a very elegant, she moves like poetry, just a beautiful lady. That's all. That's all you think. But you also know there are girls that could walk through that door that wouldn't be half as physically beautiful as her. And the moment you turned your eyes on them, you'd have to turn away if you were a godly young man. Because, you know, what's coming forth is not beauty, it's sensuality. And that is a deadly, deadly thing, and it will wreak havoc on your life. You also want to think about this, this girl you're going to marry is going to be the mother to your children. It's going to be the mother to your daughter. OK. And I'll tell you this, guys. By desiring a hiddenness, simplicity, chasteness in a woman, it will draw that out of a woman. That's part of what leadership is. You know, you may meet a girl one day and it may be the girl that God wants you to to marry. But it doesn't mean the moment you meet her, you should marry her. And maybe she's been taught wrong. OK. But as you talk and things like that, you begin to say things. Look, I really care about you, but these are things that they do not please me as a man. I desire what God desires, which is inward beauty, chasteness, innocence, simplicity. OK, maybe we'll get a chance to talk about that tomorrow. So, well, let's let's pray and then you can kill each other and dodgeball. The guy that scares me is the one who just kicks things. Where's he at? Where are you like the kicker for the football team or something? That's you? You're just out of your mind or what? That ball's going like one hundred and eighty miles an hour, you know, that that's and I don't know what you're gifted at, but you're gifted at this. All right, well, let's let's let's pray. Father, thank you for this group of young men, and I pray, Lord, that you will take these things and that you'll bless their lives and they would have fruitful, bountiful lives, that they would be a blessing, Lord, all the days of their life. Be like a tree planted by rivers of water that yields its fruit in its season and its leaf does not wither and all that they do, that they would prosper according to your will. Father, help them, bless them, protect them from evil and evil men and evil women. In Jesus name, Amen. Please visit our website at heartcrymissionary.com. There you will find information about the ministry, our purpose, beliefs and methodologies and extensive information about the missionaries we are privileged to serve.