In this sermon, the preacher discusses the concept of "wife swap" and how it relates to the role of wives in marriage. He argues that wives are meant to be a help meet for their husbands, but many women prioritize helping another man create wealth instead. To fulfill their role as a wife, the preacher suggests swapping wives with another man so that his wife can take care of his children. He also emphasizes the importance of women dressing modestly and behaving reverently. The preacher criticizes certain cultural practices in churches, such as Sunday School Ministry, which he claims are not based on Scripture.

Ladies, I'm happy to see that you returned. Figured there'd be a lot of bass in the room this morning. One young lady just said, you know, I'm kind of nervous. I was really happy that you gave it to the guys last night. Then I just realized, it's our turn. I'll be gentle. Let's pray. Father, thank you for your word. Father, thank you that you haven't left us to wander aimlessly in the dark, hoping that we've figured it out, but that you have provided and preserved and protected for us your self-revelation in the Bible so that we can know who you are and who we are and what it means for us to be reconciled to you. I pray that you would grant us wisdom and humility to hear and to heed your word. We pray this in Christ's name and for his sake. Amen. Well, last time we were together, we looked at this picture of biblical manhood and this very basic picture of these minimum baseline requirements for biblical manhood. Today, we want to look at this picture of biblical womanhood and the place I want to do that is in Titus chapter 2. Titus chapter 2 is one of those places where it's a very familiar passage of Scripture, but the address is more familiar than the passage itself. By that, what I mean is we use the phrase Titus 2 all the time. Rarely, however, do we read the passage to which we're referring. Most people are very familiar with the phrase Titus 2. Very familiar with it. Not at all familiar with or at all committed to the principles therein taught. In fact, this is one of those, you know, the old saying, familiarity breeds contempt. I believe that's true also when it comes to Scripture. When we become so familiar with passages of Scripture or verses of Scripture, sometimes we show contempt in that we do not actually pay attention to what is said there. Paul talked on yesterday evening about this idea of Sunday school ministry and this idea of youth group ministry and some of these things that we do in our church that are absolutely not from Scripture, but they are from the culture. And it's ironic. You know, we talked about the Sunday school ministry. And early on in Chicago and how that happened here in Chicago. But before it was here in America, it was actually in England. And actually in England, Sunday school ministry started not just to minister to and disciple, you know, lost kids. But remember, this is before child labor laws. So small children were working in factories because they had smaller hands and could do things with, you know, these smaller pieces of material. They weren't going to school. They weren't being educated at all in any way, some of them. And again, especially in the lower classes. So the Sunday school movement in its origins in England, even before it was here in America, was designed to make these kids literate. It was literally school on Sunday because they weren't working on Sunday. So they could go to school on Sunday and use the Bible to teach these kids and make them literate. Now, there have been two complaints about the Sunday school movement, even from its inception, from its origin. Complaint number one is if we do this, eventually we will make it available to Christian kids. That was argument number one against it. If we do this and commit to this, we will make it available to Christian kids. Argument number two is when we begin to make this available in the church, families will stop catechizing their children. That was the argument. And people screamed from the rooftops, if we make this available in the church, families will stop catechizing their children at home. Now, if you want to know how true that is, all you have to do is realize that 90% of the people in the room are now looking at me like a calf staring at a new gate, going, should I be embarrassed that I don't know what catechizing is? That's how true their fears came. We don't even know what it means for somebody to be catechized, okay? We don't even get it. What is that, you know? And then those of you who have heard the word, you go, I thought that was like a Catholic thing. Nothing could be further from the truth. Is that something that's present in Catholicism? Yes. But the Reformers really paved the way in the area of catechism. Catechism is learning doctrine or theology through a series of questions and answers, okay? That's what catechism is. We'll talk some more about that here in a little bit. And so basically, that was the idea. That was a big problem. The youth ministry movement sort of followed along the same lines. The Sunday school movement, it's actually even newer than the Sunday school movement, more recent. The youth ministry movement as we know it has its origins in the Jesus movement in the late 60s, early 70s. And so what we now know as youth ministry does not at all come from Scripture, does not at all come from the life of Christ, does not at all come from the epistles, does not at all come from the teaching of the early church. It is a modern American construct. And so having a conversation, and to come back to what we're talking about here, familiarity breeding contempt, and that's not understanding what passages of Scripture are about, I had a conversation with a guy who knew what my position was on this whole very concept of, you know, age segregated ministry within the church. By the way, the idea of segregating people by age, again, not a biblical construct. The idea that you have a class for people in this age and a class for people in that age that we do now in our Sunday school movement, not a biblical construct at all. Where does that come from? Well, that comes from the modern education movement. Where does the modern education movement get it from? Darwinian evolution. Yes, the idea of age segregation has its roots in Darwinian evolution. So the fact that we have age-graded ministries in our church is not only not biblical, it's actually Darwinian. Now you go run and tell that. It's Darwinian, okay? And so I'm having this conversation with this guy about this, and he's going, well, you know, you guys are doing this with your children and you're doing this with your family and you're doing this in your home. Don't you feel like, you know, your kids need to be in the youth group so that they can be influencers and kind of, you know, Titus II leaders in that group? I said, bro, you scare me. What do you mean? Because this guy was a state leader of youth ministries for a particular state in the South. And I say, you scare me that you say that I ought to, you know, put my children and specifically my older children who are of that age into the youth ministry so that they can have a Titus II influence. He goes, well, why? What's wrong with that? I said, Titus II influencers are married women and men. Someone who's not married and doesn't have children doesn't fit the Titus II model. Amen, lights? Titus II is not about somebody who has more age than another person teaching them things that come with age. No, that's not what Titus II is about. And we'll see that as we look here in this text at a picture of biblical womanhood. And again, familiarity has bred contempt here as it relates to this passage of Scripture. Look with me beginning at verse 3. Specifically talking about women here. Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled. That's what we're asking older girls in the youth group to do for younger girls. Give me a break. They can't do that. They can't do that. So again, we use the phrase Titus II ministry, but we absolutely divorce it from the passage that it identifies. You can't get there from here. This is not about older college girls and younger college girls. That's not what this is about. This is not about older college men and younger college men. This is about individuals who have proven themselves as wives and mothers, instructing those who have yet to prove themselves in those areas. That's what Titus II is about. That's what Titus II is about. And we see here a picture of biblical womanhood, both in what is required of the older women and in what the older women are required to teach the younger women. All right? So I want us to put all of these things together to give us a picture of biblical womanhood. Look here beginning in verse 3. Older women likewise are to, first of all, be reverent in their behavior. That's number one. Biblical womanhood is reverent in behavior. First and foremost, it is reverent in behavior. What does that mean to be reverent in behavior? It means to be appropriate in behavior. It means to be meek in behavior. A meek and quiet spirit, as Peter would say. That's what it means. It means that you are not boisterous. It means that you do not draw attention to yourself. It means that even in your manner of dress, you are doing everything you can to demonstrate propriety. That's reverence. That's reverence. Reverence means you conduct yourself in such a way that your goal is to bring honor to God and not attention to yourself. Reverent in their behavior. And so yesterday the ladies got to be my daughters. Today, men, you get to be my sons. And I'm going to talk to you like I talk to my sons about what it is we're looking for, okay? Amen? And the first thing I want to tell you is this. Don't come to me with an irreverent woman. Don't do it. If she's loud and obnoxious, she doesn't qualify. If she draws attention to herself, she doesn't qualify. We're looking for a meek and quiet spirit. That's what we're looking for. If she is, again, does that mean that she can't have personality? Absolutely, that's not what we're talking about here. But that must be reverent. It must be under control. It must be bridled. She must be reverent in her behavior. We're not talking... Forget bringing a loose woman home. That's way out of the question. We're going even beyond that here. Reverent in her behavior. Godly in her behavior. As though she conducts herself with the understanding of God's holy and all-seeing presence. That's what's required first and foremost. That's what's required above all else. Reverent in her behavior. And this is incredibly important for us to hear. Why? Because we've skewed the lines. We are no longer raising women in our culture. We are raising men who happen to be biologically capable of having children. That's what we're raising. And then only if it doesn't interfere with career goals. That's what we're raising. We're raising women to conduct themselves like men. Like one of the boys. To be loud and boisterous and inappropriate. And to draw undue attention to themselves. Both in their conduct and in their dress. That is irreverent. And it's happening because we have an epidemic of unprotected women. Because just like the illustration we heard earlier. You know, if the young woman is out at midnight on the corner with a bunch of hoodlums. You know, you want to bring them back to their fathers. I feel the exact same way when I see the way some young women dress. I want to bring them home to their dad. And I want to say, hey, I brought her to you because I'm sure that you didn't see her leave the house this way. And beyond that, I'm sure that somebody went and bought these clothes without you knowing it. Snuck them in the back of her closet and you never saw them. Because had you been aware that these were even in her closet, you would have gotten rid of them. That's why I brought her here to you. That you and I both know. Dads who have daughters who dress inappropriately. Take one of two tacts. Tact number one is this tact of, well, you know, yeah, I understand. But that's the style, you know, these days. Or tact number two. He wants her to look like that. He likes the attention that she draws when she dresses like that. Both of those are completely and utterly inappropriate. Utterly inappropriate. And I say this as a father of a 17-year-old daughter. I realize how difficult it is to buy and find modest clothes. I realize. I realized it when my daughter was 12. I did. I was like, baby, we got to do something. Because we go in the store and it's Hoochie Mama Central, you know. And I'm just, what's the deal, you know? We can't do it. We just can't. We can't have those? Y'all have something with, you know, more? What do you mean, sir? There's something missing right there. We just need some more. Can you put that with that so that they can, you know, both? Reverent in her behavior. Reverent in her behavior. Again, does this mean, you know, turtlenecks in the summer and all this sort of? That's not my point. That's not my point. Men, what we're looking for is a woman who, whenever she prepares herself to go out, asks this question. To what aspect of my person am I drawing attention today? And is that honoring to Christ? You want a woman who presents herself in totality, everything about her like that. As though she is looking in the mirror and saying, to what aspect of my person am I drawing attention? By the way that I act, by the way that I dress, to what aspect of my person am I drawing attention? That tells you a great deal about a woman. Men, if you are around a woman and you find yourself, okay, doing, you know, the male neck exercise. I call it the male neck exercise. Because I find myself having to do that. A lot of times women are dressed so inappropriately and there's so much cleavage there. Or the shirt is so tight, revealing the shape of their breasts. That I find myself doing this in order to exaggerate. So that I don't find myself going, if she's a woman who makes you constantly have to do the male neck exercise. Either there's some more discipleship that needs to happen. Or she has just told you what she thinks is the most important thing about her. Can't say amen, you always say ouch. She has just communicated to you what she thinks is the most important thing about her. Why? Because that's the thing to which she is trying to immediately draw your attention. Reverent in her behavior. Reverent in her behavior. And again, these are things that many young ladies haven't heard. Many young ladies haven't had a father to sit them down and say, Listen, your value and your worth is not contingent upon men lusting after you. And ladies, if you haven't heard that, let me say that to you right here and right now. Because that's the lie that the culture has sold to you. Your value and your worth is contingent upon how men lust after you. And from the minute you began to develop curves, this is the idea that the culture has thrust upon you. You see it everywhere. And so in order to feel valuable, you have to dress yourself and present yourself in such a way that you make people look at you. And so you walk around all the time like this and like this. But look at me. Look at me. It's because you don't know where your worth is. It's because you don't know where your value is. And so you've developed behavior that is irreverent because you don't know where your worth is and because you don't know where your value is. Look at me. You deserve to be honored and respected and protected, not demeaned. You are not a piece of meat to satisfy the sinful fleshly desires of a man. Your price is above rubies, the Scriptures say. It's outward beauty. It's fleeting. It will fade. It is useless. It is meaningless. But that meek and that quiet spirit, it's imperishable. And that's what's valuable about you. And it burdens me that you don't know that. It burdens me that your father never said that to you. I can tell by the way you present yourselves, some of you, that your father never said that to you. And you're yearning for male approval. And the only way you've learned how to get it is go to the most base part of the male nature. That's not it. That's not it. You must be reverent in your behavior. And if a man is not decent enough to be attracted to reverent behavior, you don't want him anyway. Because if now it's the youthfulness of your body and the curvature of your body, if now that's what it takes and if now that's what he values most, then when your body doesn't look like that anymore, he'll have to find another to satisfy him. They must be reverent in their behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. There's an idea here of the Greco-Roman world of women who spent their time not in reverent behavior, but actually in these gossip sessions where they would drink and they would gossip and they would drink and they would gossip and they would slander others. Biblical womanhood is not so. Biblical womanhood won't abide gossip. 1 Timothy chapter 5, he talks about your widows who are busybodies and not to put them on the widow rolls if that's the case. Biblical womanhood is not slanderous. Biblical womanhood is not filled with gossip. Biblical womanhood is not, girl, did you see what she had on? That's not biblical womanhood. It is not slanderous. It is not addicted to wine. That is not biblical womanhood. What we're looking for is women who understand how to use the tongue. Turn with me to the left and look at the book of Ephesians. And look beginning at chapter 4, beginning at verse 25. Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor. For we are members of one another. Be angry and do not sin. Do not let the sun go down in your anger and give no opportunity to the devil. Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labor, doing honest work with his own hands, so that he may have something to share with anyone in need. Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it might give grace to those who hear. That's the opposite of someone who is slanderous. Biblical womanhood knows how to use words to build up, not to use words to tear down. This is incredibly important, because a wife can destroy her husband with her tongue. And a man who ends up with a slanderous woman will end up with a woman who will destroy his house one brick at a time. Rather than marry a slanderous woman, just buy you a house and get a sledgehammer and start knocking bricks out of it. Biblical womanhood is not slanderous. Biblical womanhood is the opposite of that. Biblical womanhood actually use words that are seasoned with grace. Biblical womanhood is not drunkenness and frivolity. That is the opposite of biblical womanhood. And so we have a woman who is reverent in her behavior, so in the way that she presents and conducts herself, and in her speech, she's not slanderous. So even in the way that she talks, so we have the way that she carries herself, the way that she dresses herself, the way that she presents herself, and the way that she speaks to others. This is what biblical womanhood is about. This is the picture of the older woman. See, older women are not just to be older in age. They are to be women of this kind of character. It's not just about having more years than somebody else. You're a junior, they're a freshman, therefore you're the older woman, they're the younger woman. No, it's not what this text teaches. Biblical womanhood is not based on number of years. It is based on this character that is formed as we are conformed to the very image of Christ. Look at the next part of this. They are to teach what is good. They are to teach what is good. They have a handle on what is good, and they instruct in what is good. That's what the older women do. It's incredibly important. By the way, and this is one thing that I tell my sons. I'm going to tell you this as my sons. I tell my sons, look, when you are looking for a wife, look for a woman who will be your partner in the instruction of my grandchildren. The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world. There's a reason that that saying has stayed around over all these years, you know? The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world. There is great influence in the life of a mother who nurtures and takes care of her children. By the way, that's also why I tell my sons, son, if there is a woman out there that you are interested in who has as her chief goal to go out and make her mark on the world and be a career woman, then let her go and do that, but do not take her as a wife. Why? Because in order for her to do that, you will have to engage in what I call wife swap. Here's wife swap. God gives us a wife as a helpmeet, but our wives are committed to being a helpmeet to another man, so they go out into the world to help another man create wealth, and in order for what she's supposed to be doing for me as my wife to get accomplished, I have to swap with another man so that his wife can take care of my kids. It's wife swap. So I will hire your wife to be my helpmeet while somebody else hires my wife to be their helpmeet. You see that? It's wife swap. And here's the big problem. Now the hand that's rocking the cradle of your children is not the hand of your wife. Are you smelling what I'm stepping in?