Ephesians 5

Ephesians 5:1

In chapter 5, Paul continues his exhortation to walk in purity. Again, we see the word “therefore.” And what is it there for? It refers to the last verse in the previous chapter, where we are told to forgive one another because God has forgiven us for Christ’s sake. In other words, Paul is saying, “It only makes sense to follow the One who has forgiven you.”

Ephesians 5:2

A “sweet-smelling savour” refers to Leviticus 1-5, wherein we see the burnt offering, meal offering, and the peace offeringall called sweet-smelling offerings because their aroma was sweet to the Father. So, too, when you choose to follow Jesus’ example by sacrificing your rights, by walking in love, the scent is sweet to the Father.

Ephesians 5:3

According to Pro_6:32, he who is involved in fornication or adultery destroys his soul, his inner person. The world doesn’t understand this. The world thinks fornication is nothing more than two bodies coming together in a moment of ecstasy. But the Bible says it’s actually two souls being joined as one. Thus, a person who engages in fornication or lives in adultery will become only a shell of a person, as layer after layer of his inner person is stripped off with each different encounter. That’s the tragedy of sexual sin. The issue is not AIDS, sexually transmitted disease, or unwanted pregnancy. The issue is that of losing part of one’s soul.

Ephesians 5:4

The filthiness, foolish talking, and jesting here in verse Eph_5:4 are related to the fornication, uncleanness, and coveting of verse Eph_5:3. Anyone watching culture knows that what once caused people to blush is now nothing but a joke because our culture has become totally desensitized. Instead of talking like the world, just start praising the Lord. Whenever the conversation takes a sinful or suggestive turn, alter its course by bringing the Lord into it, by saying, “Isn’t God good? Let me tell you what He did for me today…”

Ephesians 5:5

The Greek word translated “whoremonger” is pornos, from which we get our word “pornography.” Whore-mongering is embracing a prostituted life. And that can happen on the “900” telephones lines, on the Internet, in the things you read, and in the movies you see. Paul says your heart tells you and your spirit confirms that if you are a whoremongerif you are delighted by and caught up in pornographyyou are not part of the kingdom. You can come to church every time we meet; you can show up every time the doors are open. But if you are involved in this stuffif this is your idol, if this is what you’re living foryou’re not saved. “You know this,” says Paul. You don’t need a preacher to tell you, or a friend to remind you. In your heart, you already know that if you’re a whoremonger, an unclean person, making sexual fulfillment your idolyou do not have an inheritance in the kingdom of God."

Ephesians 5:6

Concerning uncleanness and pornography, people use vain words when they say to us, “Hey, don’t be so uptight.” The Gnostics, or, literally, “those with special knowledge” did the same thing in Paul’s day. Believing themselves to be especially knowledgeable, the gnostics essentially said, “Matter is evil and only the spirit is pure. Therefore, it doesn’t matter what one does with his body. Man can indulge his flesh because it’s only his spirit that matters.” The heresy of Gnosticism rears its ugly head in our day in those who say, “God knows you’re a sexual creature and that you need to indulge your flesh. So go ahead.” Don’t be deceived. If you’ve been walking with the Lord, but still succumb to fleshly indulgences, you’re on shaky ground. I’m not talking about the struggle a person has with his flesh. I’m talking about a lifestyle of embracing one’s flesh. If you cater to your flesh day after week after month after year after decade, you need to take a careful look at your spiritual standing.

Ephesians 5:7

“You used to walk in darkness. But now you’re proving, or literally learning, what is really acceptable in the sight of the Lord,” says Paul. Gang, if I sit in the theater and watch people indulging their fleshly lusts on the screen, I am a partaker of their activity. I support it financially when I buy the ticket. And I vote for our culture to keep making this kind of movie whenever I fill a seat to watch it. There’s a better way. We can pray, “You know I struggle with my flesh, Lord. You know I’m tempted by it. But, Lord, I want nothing to do with it. I’ve learned through Your Word and by experience that sin stinks. I’m not going to justify it any longer. I’m not going to excuse it anymore. Instead, I choose to walk in the light.”

Ephesians 5:11

To “reprove” means “to rebuke.” In other words, when a dirty joke or an unclean phrase is spoken, I am not simply to hold my tongue, but I am to rebuke, correct, and deal with the situation. I am to say, “I know you’re my office-mate, my boss, or my teammate, but I have to share this with you because I want to see you do better. Here’s why this kind of talk is not wise…”

Ephesians 5:13

Some of the merchandise on the crowded streets of old Jerusalem looks pretty good while in the windowless shops. But I have learned not to buy anything until I first take it outside, until I first examine it in the light because it’s amazing how even junky stuff looks okay in the dim light of those shops. So, too, only the light of the Word and the light of fellowship makes known that which is acceptable, that which is truly good.

Ephesians 5:14

“Wake up!” says Paul. “Look what’s happening in your lives.” I know of young men who could have turned this world upside down for the Lord. I know of young guys who could have really made a mark for the kingdom. But because they weren’t awake to what the Word of God says concerning filthiness, coarse jesting, uncleanness, fornication, and pornography, they’re ineffective to this day.

Ephesians 5:15

The word “circumspectly” suggests the idea of a circle. “See that you look around,” Paul says. “See that you’re vigilant, not being blindsided, not being tricked.”

Ephesians 5:16

We live in an evil day, a dark time. Redeem it by integrating the Lord into whatever you do. For example, when you jog, don’t just think about your aches and pains. Instead, start praying for people who are worse off than you. Thank the Lord for things you see. Pray about things that come to mind. Redeem the time by bringing the Lord into all you do. Anything we do that doesn’t have a spiritual texture to it is a waste of time.

Ephesians 5:17

What is God’s will? That we would walk in purity. How does that work out practically? Read on.

Ephesians 5:18

Forget the distilled spirits. Drink deeply of the dynamic Spirit of the Holy Ghost.

Ephesians 5:19

Talk to yourself. David did. “Bless the Lord, O my soul,” he said (Psalms 103). “Come on, soul, start blessing the Lord. Why art thou disquieted? Why are you depressed? Hope thou in God” (see Psa_43:5). When I feel things aren’t going very well, I’m tempted to lose heart. When this happens, the only thing to do is to speak to myself in psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs. No wonder David was discouraged. He and his men returned from fighting the Amalekites only to discover not only that their town had been burned by their enemies, but that their wives and kids had been taken hostage. “This is your fault, David,” said his men. “You took us away from here.” And so angry were they that they wanted to kill him. What did David do? He encouraged himself in the Lord (1Sa_30:6). He sang songs. He wrote psalms. He began to praise and worship. As a result, he rallied his men once again and they recovered all that was lost. Had David remained in his depressed state, not only would he have been rendered ineffective, but the women and children would have remained captive. And so will you until you begin to worship. God’s will is that you be freeand nothing will free you from the tyranny of your own situation like worship. You will be profoundly blessed and amazingly productive whenever you give thanks to God for all things in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Ephesians 5:21

Walking in harmony in our marriages is based upon the key component of submission. Scripture talks about marriage in such a profoundly simple and simply profound way. You don’t need countless books, seminars, or videos dealing with marriage. The Word spells out simply and succinctly how it is to work.

Ephesians 5:22

Great is the day, wife, when you realize that ever since the Garden of Eden, males have been missing something. You see, when Adam went to sleep in the Garden, God took a rib from his side, and from it fashioned the woman, the “completer” of the man. Why doesn’t your husband communicate more freely? Why doesn’t he feel things more deeply? I believe it all stems from the fact that he’s missing a rib; he’s missing the part that was given to you. “Well, if he’s missing something, yet I still want to communicate, what do I do?” you ask. In the Garden of Eden, the first Adam lost something. But there’s another Adamthe Last Adam, Jesus Christ. So complete is the Last Adam that He is not only portrayed in Scripture as a male bullock (Numbers 15), but as a red heifer, a female cow (Numbers 19). Not only is He the epitome of strength; He is also the very essence of tenderness. Dear sister, as long as you look to your husband to meet your deepest needs, you’ll be frustrated perpetually. You’ll put pressure on him to be what he can’t be because he’s missing something. It is only in Jesus Christ that you will find true fulfillment. In talking to Him, in learning of Him, in walking with Him, you will find the satisfaction your heart is craving. Drink deeply of the Last Adamthe Perfect One, Jesus Christfor when you tap in to Him and maintain a vital, personal daily devotional life, you won’t push your husband to be something he cannot be. Wives, continue to love the Lord with all your heart and soul, with all your mind and strengthjust as you did before you were married. For it is only in Him that you will find the answer to the cry of your heart.

Ephesians 5:23

If you are a Christian wife, you are to submit to your husband even as you would submit to the Lord. Let society say what it may. God’s Word has stood the test of time, for whenever a wife chooses to be submitted to her husband, her marriage is on the way to becoming a blessed union, indeed. Husbands, in turn, must never forget that, as commanded in verse Eph_5:21, they are to submit to their wives. How does this work out practically? I believe the best way to understand this is to look at the example of the marriage held up in the New Testament as a model marriagethe marriage of Sarah and Abraham. At seventy-six years of age, having received a promise from the Lord that they would have a child, Sarah said, “Listen, Abraham, we’re not getting any younger. So let’s help the Lord out a bit. Have relations with my handmaid, Hagar, and the child produced will count as ours.” Abraham “hearkened unto the voice of his wife” (see Gen_16:2), and a child named Ishmael was born. Thirteen years later, after the promised child had indeed come and was weaned, Sarah said to Abraham, “Hagar’s son and my son cannot live in the same tent. Ishmael must go.” “No way,” said Abraham. “Hearken unto the voice of your wife,” said God (see Gen_21:12). Interestingly, when Sarah told him to have relations with Hagar, Abraham submitted to his wife. But when she told him to deal with Ishmael, he said, “No.” In so doing, Abraham hearkened to his wife in something contrary to God’s ways, but ignored the voice of his wife when it was actually right in the sight of the Lord. This means that while I as a husband am held responsible for the direction of my family, I must not be dictatorial in my behavior toward them. There are times when I need to listen to my wife. There are times when I must choose to submit to what she’s saying, realizing the Lord can speak through her. Therefore, it is the wise husband who says to his wife, “I want to hear your heart and mind on this matter and match it against the Word of God because I know I am the one who will ultimately be held responsible.” And suddenly, rather than being a justification for me to be dictatorial over my wife, Eph_5:22 humbles me before the Lord, realizing I am held accountable for the direction of my family.

Ephesians 5:25

Again, God’s instructions are so clear. Inspired by God’s Spirit, Paul simply says, “Husbands, love your wives.” How? Read on. How should you love your wife? Just as Jesus loves you, just as Jesus loves the Church. First of all, He loves us sacrificially. In the Garden of Eden, the first Adam parted with a bone. On the hill of Calvary, the Last Adam poured out His blood. At creation, the First Adam gave something of himself. On the Cross, the Last Adam gave all of Himself. This means that if I am to love my wife as Christ loved the Church, I’ll love her to the point where I die to my own dreams, my own desires, and my own wishes. In other words, I’ll love her to death. Second, Jesus loves the church unconditionally. Jesus doesn’t love us only if we’re “good boys and girls,” only if we have morning devotions, only if we tithe. He loves us period. And I am to love my wife in the same manner. I’m not to love her only if she makes good meals, laughs at my jokes, or if she pleases me. I’m to love her period. And there isn’t a woman on the face of the earth who will have difficulty submitting to a man who loves her in that way. Submission is never a problem when a man loves his wife as Christ loves the church.

Ephesians 5:26

As the bride of Christ, what does Jesus do to us? He washes us with the water of the Word. He irons out the wrinkles. He takes away the blemishes. In so doing, Jesus says, “I know My bride isn’t perfect. But I’m going to work on her and in her that she might be sanctified, made beautiful, washed by the water of My Word.” If you don’t like your wife, brother, it’s because you’ve been a miserable husband. 1Co_11:7 tells us the woman is the glory of the man. The word “glory” literally means “reflection.” If I look at my wife and don’t like what I see, it’s because I’m seeing a reflection of my own failure. You who say, “I just don’t like my wife"when was the last time you washed her with the water of the Word? When was the last time you opened the Bible with her? When was the last time you humbled yourself before the Lord and prayed with her? If I don’t like my wife’s appearance or attitude or actions, the tendency could be for me to say, “I’ll just find someone else.” But that won’t work either because my next wife, also being a reflection of my own shortcomings, will inevitably seem just as flawed to me. The first miracle Jesus ever did was at a marriage ceremony. That’s where miracles need to happen most often. The wine having run out, Jesus called the servants apart and said, “Take those stone pots. Fill them to the brim with water. Then serve the water to the guests.” Sure enough, as the servants began to pour, the water was changed to wine of the highest quality (Joh_2:10). So, too, husband, just as Jesus came as the servant of all, you’re to be a servant to your wife. If the wine of romance, the wine of happiness, the wine of joy is gone from your marriage, first fill up your own earthen vessel with the water of the Word. Get back into the Word. Reestablish a devotional time. Study the Scriptures. Join a men’s fellowship group. Do whatever it takes to fill up your life with the Word. And once you’re filled, take what you’re learning and serve your wife the water of the Word. Then watch it be transformed into the wine of joy.

Ephesians 5:28

According to Paul, the best thing you can do for yourself, husband, is to love your wife. Loving your wife is actually better for you than playing racquetball, lifting weights, playing golf, or jogging. Love is a verb. It’s an action, not a feeling. It’s something you choose to do.

Ephesians 5:29

Contrary to what society says, the Bible declares we don’t have to be taught to love ourselves. We already do.

Ephesians 5:31

For a marriage to be successful, a man must leave those who were closest to him and cleave to his wife. If there’s another female he’s sharing with, talking with, or ministering tohe’s headed for disaster. “Oh, but she’s just a co-worker. She’s just telling me her problems, and I’m winning her to the Lord,” he says. No. Jesus said wherever a man’s treasure is, there will his heart be also (Mat_6:21). Therefore, if he puts his treasure in her, if he shares his heart or Scripture or insights with her, his heart will follow inevitably. Then, because no man can serve two masters without hating one (Mat_6:24), he’ll end up hating his wife. I firmly believe this is one of the biggest dangers to marriages in the church today. It’s not the seductress who’s a problem. It’s the person with whom you’re casually sharing and giving counsel. Therefore, if you’re a wise man, you’ll choose not to talk with women in a deep way about your frustrations or your fears, your doubts or your dreams. You’ll cleave only to your wife. And as you do, you’ll find romance and love being rekindled again and again. The world says, “If I loved her, I would cleave to her.” The Bible says, “Cleave to her, and then you’ll love her.”

Ephesians 5:32

Paul spoke of a mystery far bigger than the mere mechanics of marriage… It shouldn’t be surprising that the place of His first miracle was at a marriage ceremony, for Jesus’ entire mission was to proclaim and preach a message of love. Yet because Israel was so steeped in the lawin religion, rules, and regulationsthey didn’t understand it. Consequently, this Messenger of love received spikes in His hands, a nail in His feet, and was raised up on a Cross to die. When a Roman soldier thrust a spear into His side, blood and water came forth, reminiscent of the water turned into blood-red wine at Cana. Even as the first Adam was asleep in a garden when his side was opened and his bride was brought forth, so, too, the Last Adam was in a garden tomb “asleep.” When He arose, who was the first one He talked to? A woman, Mary. Mary was the beginning of a bride for Jesus. Although she was once a demon-possessed sinner, she was one who loved Jesus to such a degree that she was ready to carry His body alone (Joh_20:15). So deeply did she love Him that she couldn’t let Him go (Joh_20:17). How easy it is for me to miss what is our true purpose this week, this day this moment. The Lord is not asking for our sacrifice, our service, our study. Hear, O Christian, the Lord your God is one Lord. And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart and soul and might (Deu_6:4-5). Love is what He asks for. Love is what we’re created for. We are Evefallen like Eve, indeed; seduced like Eve, yes; flawed like Eve, absolutely. But Jesus Christ loves us. And even as Adam knowingly ate of the forbidden fruit in order that he might be with Eve, so the Last Adam knowingly took upon Himself the sin of the world that He might spend eternity with us. The mystery of marriage is that Jesus wants to be one with you. He wants to communicate with you. He wants to walk in the rain with you. He wants to go to the lake with you. He loves you and wants you to love Him. How? Marriage will teach you, for it’s an illustration of what you should be doing with the Lord, and for the Lord, in the Spirit. Don’t get sidetracked, gang. Don’t fall prey to religion and rules, sacrifice and service. You are the Lord’s love. That’s the mystery of marriage.

Ephesians 5:33

After celebrating her seventy-fifth wedding anniversary, a lady was asked the secret of her marriage. “On my wedding day, I intended to write a list of ten things for which I would forgive my husband,” she said. “But I never got around to writing it down. So over the years, whenever he would make me hopping mad, I would just tell myself it was a good thing for him that what he did was on my list!” Honor your husbands, women. Love your wives, guys. That’s the way it works.