03.01. WHY A COURSE ON THE MARRIAGE FORM?
WHY A COURSE ON THE MARRIAGE FORM?
1. To combat secular influences on marriage
What makes, the study and understanding of the Marriage Form the more necessary is the increasing secularisation of the times in which we live. Secularisation excludes God from all spheres of daily life. Our secular society, then, is characterised by placing a distance between God and man. Our society has turned its back on God and ignores Him, and acts as if God does not exist. Understandably, this trend does not leave the institution of marriage untouched. Excluding God from the affairs of this life includes severing the link between God and marriage. To sever this link is to deny that marriage is a divine ordinance; it is to deny that marriage originates with God.
If one says that God is real and that He ordained marriage, then it follows that God specifies what characterises marriage and what belongs to marriage. Conversely, if one says that God does not exist, then one of necessity must insist that God has no say about marriage. That is what is happening today. Marriage is divorced from God; man no longer lets marriage be determined by God. So marriage is simply seen as a contract between two people, with no input from God. That is why there is room in public thinking today for divorce. For God isn’t really there..., God’s Word is irrelevant …..Who, then, has the right to insist that marriage must be ‘till death do us part’? And who has the right to say that one can only marry one partner (monogamy) instead of two (bigamy) or more (polygamy)? And who has the right to say that marriage must between a male and a female? Without God in the picture what purpose do children serve in the marriage relationship? What of premarital relations? If God does not specify what characterises marriage, what then are the respective roles of husband and wife? Why not challenge and discard the notions of male headship / female submission in the marriage bond? Given that our society has chosen to ignore or deny the existence of God, its not at all surprising that the traditional understandings of marriage are challenged.
What is so disturbing, though, is that these same questions and alternatives are not just being asked and embraced by the unbelievers of society, but also by so many of those who claim to speak for the church of Jesus Christ. Recently the Archbishop of Perth, Peter Carnley, “who is regarded as a progressive because of his liberal views on homosexuality,” was elected Primate of the Anglican Church of Australia. The Uniting Church of Australia allows homosexual partners. This is the society in which we live. Not surprisingly, the thought patterns and behaviours of this society influence us. We see its influences within the Free Reformed Churches of Australia (FRCA): marriage break-ups, a decline in the sizes of our families, husbands not realising their place as the head of the family and wives not being willing to be the husband’s helpmeet, submitting to their husbands. It’s a sad fact, but true: we are touched by the society in which we live. This makes it imperative for us to busy ourselves with the Lord and His Word, including His instruction concerning marriage. As children of God we need to be consistent, obeying God in all spheres of life.
2. It is the consistory’s responsibility to instruct the congregation about God’s ordinance of marriage
It is a given of Scripture that those who marry are to reflect in their marriage the relation between Christ and His church. It is equally a given of Scripture that the Lord (wishes to) entrust His covenant children into the care of two believing parents, united by holy wedlock. These parents, bond together by a common love for the Lord, are instructed to raise God’s little ones to His glory. The marriage bond, then, becomes the haven where the next generation is nurtured in the service of the Lord.
Office-bearers are instructed to tend the flock of God - including the children. Office-bearers, therefore, invariably have a responsibility relating to oversight over marriages. That is why the churches have agreed in the Church Order to the following decision in relation to marriage:
ARTICLE 67 - Marriage
“The consistory shall ensure that the member of the congregation marry only in the Lord, and that the ministers - as authorised by the consistory - solemnise only such marriages as are in accordance with the Word of God The solemnisation of a marriage shall take place in a private ceremony, with the use of the adopted Form.”
Given the task the churches have in relation to marriage, and given the increasing attacks placed by our secular society on Christian marriages, it is certainly fitting that the church give attention to marriage in its teaching ministry. A post-confession Class on the Form is one way to do that.
3. The Marriage Form is the vehicle to Scripture’s instruction concerning marriage
There is no shortage of books available on the topic of marriage. Reading these can certainly be of benefit. Too many of these books, unfortunately, do not open Scripture and relate what IT teaches about marriage. Often a counsellor will put on paper his/her own thoughts, experiences and opinions. One can wrap a Christian veneer around the thoughts of the counsellor, but they remain the thoughts of a man. Human thoughts, though, is not the medicine required against the influences of secularisation on marriage. The Bible is THE manual for marriage: It is to the Bible that we must turn to learn what God stipulates concerning the various aspects of marriage. The Marriage Form serves as a vehicle for going back into Scripture to learn what the Lord teaches and commands about marriage.