16. Horrible Temptations.

Horrible Temptations

Payson’s peculiar temperament and bodily weakness made him a conspicuous mark for the infernal archer to shoot at. " I thought long since," he writes, " that I had endured everything horrible and dreadful that was ever felt, heard of, or conceived ; but I find that the depths of Satan and the depths of a depraved and wicked heart are not easily fathomed. These unfathomed depths, however, serve to show me more clearly the infinite height and depth of Christ’s love!" ’ At a later period in his history he explains the reason why God permitted him to be so grievously tormented in the past: " That I might counsel and comfort those of Christ’s sheep against whom Satan raged violently."

Under date of Dec. 5, 1823, he writes, "I have been sick and laid by for two Sabbaths, but am now able to resume my labors. But, O the temptations which have harassed me for the last three months!

I have met with nothing like them in books. I dare not mention them to any mortal, lest they should trouble him as they have troubled me. Should I become an apostate, and write against the Christian religion, it seems to me that I could bring forward objections that would shake the faith of all the Christians in the world. What I marvel at is, that the arch-deceiver has not been permitted to suggest them to his scribes, and have them published to the world. All the atheistical and deistical objections which I have met with in books are childish babblings compared with those which Satan suggests, and which he urges upon the mind with a force which seems irresistible."