001 - Introducción

    Introduction

EVERYBODY is concerned these days with studies on the minister* remarked a leading theologian. ** I think it is about time someone did some research on the minister’s wife! * Here was a challenge. Out of this chance remark came die initial impetus for the primary research upon which this volume is based. This book is about the minister’s wife. Not.any wife, but a woman married to a man who is a minister, a fact that the wives believe makes a significant difference. The book does not propose to serve as a manual of etiquette instructing a wife how to dress, answer the telephone, or entertain church officials. Several have already undertaken to do this. It does propose to survey some of the things that she perceives her church, community, and family expect of her. Even more important, it is concerned with how she feels about these expectations Thus far numerous books and articles have advised her what to do and be, but no one seems to have taken time to determine how she feels about such counsel, or what its impact is upon her own mental health.

One of the assumptions underlying this book is that the role of other business and professional men’s wives. (What

11 12 OF MINISTERS WIFE lawyer’s wife is to be versed in, law, or physician’s wife in medicine, as the minister’s wife is expected to know religion and theology?) It also moves on the assumption that before she is a minister’s wife, she is a member of die race, and a woman. As such, she is subject to the joys sorrows, the securities and insecurities, the needs and anxieties, to which all mankind is heir.

Therefore, an attempt will be made to view and understand her through those disciplines which shed light upon human behavior: sociology, psychology, anthropology, and theology.

While the role of the minister’s wife is unique in some respects, it is also similar to that o other wives. Consequently, brief note will be made of the similarities between the role of the minister’s wife’ and of the wives of other professional and business men. A study of the wife of a minister will take on fuller significance when seen in the context of her larger existence. In order to aid in this understanding of her, sketches will be made of her in broad strokes to show her historical background. With the added dimension afforded by this context, the succeeding chapters will note and evaluate responses of the wives included in this study.

Though concerned with the minister’s wife, it should be noted that this is basically a socio psychological rather than a theological study. Nonetheless, it does have theological implications. Jesus and the prophets demonstrated that good theology must inevitably come to grips with the problems of life with which sociology, psychology, and other behavioral sciences grapple. Conversely, a more profound sociology and psychology cannot evade confronting the problems of human existence to which theology has long addressed itself. Thus the lines of demarcation be

INTRODUCTION 13 the disciplines are at vague and overlapping. A survey of the literature on ministers* wives reveals practically all of it is on the personal experience or the casual observations of the writers, who are usually themselves wives of ministers. At the time of this writing, has been little or no empirical research on the subject. The data upon which book is based are primarily drawn from four sources. The first source is a carefully conducted study carried out under the supervision of a committee of specialists in research and the social sciences as a part of a doctoral program at Columbia University. In this initial research, thirty wives, chosen as a random sampling, were intensively interviewed. An interview schedule was used that had been devised on the basis of a pilot study involving wives of ministers from various parts of the United States. The second source is a series of seminars conducted for the wives of pastors from several denominations in which their attitudes about being ministers* wives were explored. The third source is the wives of ministers with whom I have counseled in recent years. The majority of the wives in these last two sources are from the Midwest, a region that is sometimes considered rather “ typical “ of our society.

Each of the above sources involves face-to-face interview situations.. An interview has several advantages over a questionnaire. Among these are the freedom to explore various ramifications not included on a fixed questionnaire, to ask for clarifications, and the chance to catch the subtle nuances of expression, gesture, and voice inflection. All of these combine to provide a deeper, more complete picture of a person. The wives who came for personal counseling added an even deeper dimension. Through a series of counseling sessions it is possible to determine more care 14 OF MINISTER’S WIFE fully what are the of intense conflict satisfaction. Furthermore, one has the opportunity to assess to what an extent the and understanding of their role and growth to such persons.

One of the major of a questionnaire over an interview is that a number of persons from wider geographic regions can be easily included in the study. Because of this, an extensive questionnaire was used at a nationwide conference of pastors” wives and the results were incorporated In this volume as the fourth data source. In any case, there are no fictitious wives included here. Each one is quite real. At times certain facts are disguised to protect a person’s identity. Remarks quoted from conversations are all as near verbatim as notes made during a contact would permit Like all human endeavors, this venture on the role of the minister’s wife has Its limitations. (In fact, some people might question whether or not it is possible to speak of a composite “minister’s wife.’) One of these limitations has to do with the number of participants Included in the study. A larger sample would doubtless make further contributions. At least most researchers feel more comfortable with large numbers. However, in dealing with a homogeneous group a smaller sample is satisfactory. As might be expected, there Is considerable homogeneity among these wives. This Is not to say that they are all carbon copies of some original. Individual variations exist. However, in the early phases of my research certain patterns, ideas, feelings, and attitudes began to emerge and have continued to recur with great regularity in subsequent contacts. This study, as with others, is valid when considered within its limitations. Lawrence Henderson’s observation Is pertinent at this point,

INTRODUCTION 15 In observational and experimental science we are concerned with probability, never with certainty, with approximations, never with absolute precision. Such scientific generalizations are those to be regarded as valid only within the limits of our experience of time, place, temperature, pressure, social structure, and so forth. (** Procedure in a Science,** Human Relations, Hugh Cabot and Joseph Kahl, editors. Vol. I, p. 25. Harvard University Press, 1953.), The purpose of this book is simple. It is to aid those women who are married to, or engaged to, ministers to better understand and prepare for their important roles. It is not to be considered a self-help book, nor does it propose to say the final word on the subject. It is not attempting to prove anything. It is hoped that these pages will contain new ideas for thought and discussion material for those wives who are eager to take a closer look at the unique role of the modem minister’s wife.