B 02 - An Analysis of the Literature Pertaining

AN ANALYSIS OF THE LITERATURE PERTAINING TO THE MINISTER’S WIFE

Until the latter half of the nineteenth century little was written specifically for or about the minister’s wife. However, a change is to be noted immediately prior to the turn of the century, when several books were published. The oldest volume for the minister’s wife that I have located was written in 1884 by Margaret Oliphant, entitled simply The Ministers Wife. In 1898 three books appeared: The Minister’s Wife: A Story, by J. K. Ludlum; The Ministers Wife, and Other Stories, by Mrs. James Sadlier; and Things a Pastors Wife Can Do, By One of Them, published anonymously. The reasons underlying the concern

26 A COXTEMPORABY LOOK AT MINISTERS WIFE 27 with the minister’s wife during period are not clear. Possibly the is a reflection of die movement of the day.

Few other books on. the minister’s wife between and 1940. Since 1940 several books have written. The majority of may be classified as self-help books. That is, they counsel the wife on the performance of certain aspects of her role. The literature on the minister’s wife can generally be divided into five categories: (1) self-help works, (2) autobiography, (3) biography, (4) fiction, and (5) general works. The first four of these present a rather consistent picture of her. However, for the most part it is a stereotyped picture. As such, it is one that is frequently superficial and possibly misleading as to what the wife of a pastor is really like. To be sure, these must meet the needs of many wives. These self-help books might well be described as “ how to do it “ literature. In an age of confusion and uncertainty scores of “how to” books have rolled off the presses on a host of topics. The minister’s wife, too, has been confused and uncertain in the performance of her role, and any book promising ** how to do it “has been welcomed.

Without seeming to be too negativistic, the less desirable aspects of the literature for the minister’s wife can be described in terms of its unrealistic and idealistic characteristics.

Unrealistic Literature The literature on the minister’s wife is partly unrealistic because it has romanticized many of her experiences. This tends to give undue emphasis and glamour to some aspects of her life. She is pictured as moving from one glorious 28 OF MINISTER’S WIFE

Crisis to another. The roof with nineteen leaks, the horse and buggy, dilapidated parsonages, poor salaries, cantankerous parishioners, mischievous children, and gossipy neighbors all sound wonderfully exciting. This is not all bad. Among other things, it probably represents a healthy ability on the part of the wives to look at unhappy situations and see the lighter side. Certainly such conditions do exist, but the minister’s family has no monopoly on them. The end result, however, is to convey the idea that this is essentially what the life of a pastor’s wife is like. While her life has its exciting and dramatic moments, the wives with whom I have talked were quick to say that there is much of the dull, drab, and routine that is simply not very interesting conversational material.

Another aspect of the unrealism in the literature is its dramatization. The routine and tragic alike take on dramatic proportions when reinterpreted by the pen of some writers. Admittedly, this makes more interesting reading. One minister’s wife told me of writing the editor of one of her church’s magazines protesting the picture of the minister’s family depicted in a serial written by the wife of a minister. “ The wife is too good, too nice, too sweet,” she protested to the editor. “Ministers and their families simply aren’t that way” To this the editor replied. “We know it, but it makes interesting reading!” C. T. Garriott, commenting on the novelists’ portrayal of the minister’s wife, her husband and family, and on church life in general, concluded that they are skilled in constructing plots, inverting characters and conversations, but their finished product has little to do with real life. 1 A further aspect of this unrealism is that there seems to be a tendency to set the minister’s wife over against the congregation. She is presented as a shining example who A CONTEMPORARY AT 29

Must dispel the darkness of ignorance, ungodliness, and absence of cultural tastes. She is to guard the study door from invasions by intruders. She needs the hide of a rhinoceros to fend off the darts of criticism, the patience of Job to contend with the tactless ones who violate the privacy of her home, and the skill of a juggler to handle the feuding factions in the groups with whom she works. In his analysis of recent fiction about the minister, Garriott concludes that both the minister and his wife are misrepresented. He states that she is presented as. a constant source of friction in the church. Kathie Wingo in The Gauntlet refused to be called “Katherine” by the more sedate sisters of the congregation, and Alexa Laurens (The Bishop’s Mantle) struggles through several hundred pages before she is ready to give up her “good times” and become a mature woman. Caroline Phillips, lady of the manse in No Trumpet Before Him, solves her problem by sad resignation to her fate, while Kathie solves hers by dying, and Alexa hers by deciding to have a baby. ’This setting of the minister and his family against the congregation is further fostered by depicting the minister as a gallant, dashing knight on a white steed contesting against the stiff-necked congregation. “ “The reader” Garriott says, “is led to believe that the churches are stagnant pits where neurotic women and hypocritical men scream and squirm.” 2

One of the main points in which the nonfiction literature appears to be unrealistic is in its concept of the minister’s wife as a person. It is with difficulty that one is able to see her as an individual. She appears to be playing a character in which the script for the role has been written by tradition. Some variations on the theme are permissible, but they are to be minor ones. She is forced to follow a pre 30 THE OF THE MINISTER’S WIFE

Determined path of action as a train does, and does not have even the freedom of an “automobile.” She is to be neat and conservative in appearance at all times. (One wife reportedly always wore a nice dress under her work dress so the top one could be slipped off in a moment when someone knocked, and she would be presentable.) She keeps her house neat, because people are always coming in; she is the gracious hostess; she helps her husband; she does odd jobs in the church, and a host of other things. One gets the impression of a role circumscribed 00 ail sides by rigid expectations that effectively prescribe her public and private life. Seldom under the load of these expectations does one get a glimpse of the minister’s wife as a person who might happen to have a few ideas of her own. An astute observer of some sociological aspects of the current theological scene was the late Halford Luccock, who wrote regularly under the pseudonym Simeon Stylites in The Christian Century, Stylites, in his usual poignant and humorous style, noted in one article that there is a new look in ministers’ wives. 3 He believed that the old-type preacher’s wife is rapidly becoming passe, though her tribe is not yet extinct. Possibly it is to this remnant that the * how to do it “ books make the greatest appeal. This old type wife, he believed, is characterized by three traits, all of which are to be found in the “how to do it” books, First, she is the solemn saint. This is not to depreciate saintliness, but this virtue, like others, can become counterfeited and thus perverted. One aspect of this type of saintliness is that it is self-conscious. Such righteousness emanates from conscious efforts to be righteous, not from the fact that persons live this way simply because it expresses what they really are at heart. Therefore, they become “pro A CONTEMPORARY LOOK AT 31 fessional saints.” This wife is typified by the one who said she always had to remind herself to be very careful working in the yard or shopping at the supermarket to make sure that she set a example. A glance at the literature finds the wife being exhorted to be a living example, meek, humble, and a woman of prayer. Again, this is not to decry living on a religious, ethical, and moral level. It is to decry the kind of superficial righteousness that this might appear to indicate, a righteousness grounded in community expectations rather than inner necessity.

Stylites wrote that the second type is the wifely pastor’s assistant. This wife does everything from teaching Sunday school and mimeographing the weekly bulletin to speaking in her husband’s absence and doing Janitorial work. He said that congregations liked this type the Giant Economy Size because they got two workers for one salary. The literature portrays her as performing a multitude of functions in the church, and many wives do, but there is strong reason to believe that this ** two for the price of one “ type of wife is fading from the scene. The third type of wife comes as the protecting-mother model. This wife, thought Stylites, is the “ put your rubbers on “ type. She is given to protecting her Beloved from intrusions from the congregation, and sheltering him from undue exertion and distractions. This mothering type is seen when one writer, in describing a scene from One Foot in Heaven, says of the ministers wife, Mrs. Spence, “ She has several children; but perhaps her greatest child is her husband.” 4 Stylites concluded by observing, There is a new freedom for the minister’s wife to revolt from becoming a type and to become an individual The old model, so widely produced, where the poor girl was a slave to a pre 32 OF MINISTER’S WIFE conceived of what a preacher’s wife ought to be, Is being rapidly retired. She used to be shown one model and told that she conform or else. Lincoln freed the slaves, and time and good sense are bringing freedom to the preacher’s wife to be herself. 5 Idealistic Literature The literature on ministers* wives is characterized by a second feature. It is idealistic. The composite picture of her depicts a woman who is the very epitome of all that is gracious, tactful, lovely, righteous, pleasant, and friendly. She is a skilled financier who does wonders with her husband’s limited salary, an understanding counselor to those seeking her help, a gracious hostess to those accepting the hospitality of her home, her husband’s right arm when needed, and possessing the finesse of a diplomat in handling interpersonal problems both at home and in the church.

Ideals are needed and possibly idealism is warranted at times, but an idealistic system must be recognized for what it is an ideal and cognizance must be taken of the fact that no one fulfils the ideal at all points. In fact, most wives would probably agree that the characteristics of the ideal minister’s wife listed in some of the literature are much to be desired. Furthermore, it may be reasonable to expect a wife to fulfill the highest expectations in some areas, but unreasonable to expect this in all areas. With the apostle Paul, one is made to ask, “ Who is sufficient for these things?” However, the attitude seems to be communicated to the reader that the good minister’s wife possesses all these characteristics. Little attention is devoted to recognizing that few, if any, fulfill the ideal at all points, One wife worded it this way; “ To ine it would be quite comforting to find in the books [on the minister^ wife],