In this sermon, the speaker emphasizes the importance of fully committing to the mission of spreading the gospel. They highlight the need to lay down one's life and prioritize the purpose of fulfilling God's commission. The speaker shares a personal anecdote about witnessing to soldiers during their army days, using unconventional methods like challenging them to choose between gambling and hearing the gospel. They also mention the importance of personal preparation and growth in faith, as well as the need to build genuine relationships with others in order to effectively share the gospel message.

Well, we'll continue this morning delving further into the central core of this new self-life we live, this new being-life we live, which is what we put under the term of intercession, of intercessor. Before I forget it, some of you have been along with Betty Ketcham. God's given Betty an unusual method of illustrating what we're talking about, through the terms of the Don Quixote book, which in very marvellous ways, by form of illustration, opens up what we're saying in general Bible truth here. So she continues, so if any of you want to go further, or go first time and hear her, she's on at, wherever she is, I don't know, 1.30, she meets somewhere. I just mention that in case some of you didn't know it, this happens each day. There hasn't been much inter-discussion as far as these mornings are concerned, you always understand we're a fellowship, at any time anyone would like to pop in something, or we're, that's alright, my interpreter can interpret to me what you're saying, and so you feel quite free to do so, and we do aim at further times, as you want them, when we can interchange, we had quite a strong interchange, some of us, 8 or 10 of us, 15 of us yesterday, on the question of the spiritual life, we're going to take it up later on. So we're free in that way, for any interchange which can help us to get the teaching of the spirit, and the confirmation of the spirit, and the kind of things we're talking about. Now you'll remember that we've settled in to our, what we call third level, and we went into some details, preliminary details about that yesterday, understanding that the whole nature of God is others. His life is fulfilled in fulfilling the life of those he's brought into being. He's the God of outpoured love, love action, therefore when that person is in us, he can only be that in us. Therefore the preliminary periods we've been through, this is to the young men, are to get the human self into focus, that I can be an utter lover self. I can find out what my true self is, where it's been delivered from the false spirit which expresses itself through us, the Satan spirit, and been replaced by the true spirit, spirit of God, expressing himself to us, through us, but in such a way that we're the expressers, so we've come back as full free people. So this marvellous relationship which God's made humans, so humans are in the foreground, they're really expressing the one who operates them. But it appears to be they doing it, it is we doing it, yet it isn't really we doing it, it's the spirit that expresses itself by us, who's the doer as we do it. You would never get beyond the sort of confusion of terms like that, which Paul had to put when he had to say, yet I don't live, he had a contradiction himself. I live, yet I don't live, Christ is in me. Then now I find I live, he put me, come back again like that. And so when we're in the spirit we understand interrelation. When we're out of the spirit it seems like confusion or blasphemy or something else. And so we've seen that when this has been finally settled into us by the word, by the revelation of the spirit, that we are our real selves, and that real self is actually God expressing by our human self, then we recognise it's for a must take a total absorption in outgoing love. Because that's all he is. He's totally absorbed in perfecting everybody. All the human which he's brought into being. And in other words the whole creation being perfected. So a whole being is out from itself perfecting those whom he's brought into being so that they might have an eternal perfection. Therefore we now recognise this tremendous fact that is our soul drive. That's what we saw yesterday, our soul drive. To say it's God only means a God of other love is only. A God only is a God of other love. We've taught by speaking he's God, my God, I have to start there, I have to find this marvel, I'm not I, I'm this person expressing his completion by me. I have to fill through those earlier stages of the new birth even, and then the replacement level. So at temporary it seems as if the light of God is that he's my God and I'm his. But then we drop that off as old clothes as it were. That just becomes a permanent reality. Like in the marriage, you don't go on telling your husband and wife you love each other, you just do. Because it's the background basis of life. And so with God you see we haven't got to keep getting relationships, that's why in a sense we don't worship, maybe some of you might expect us to, we're always worshipping. There are times when it's good to set apart to worship, but the whole stream of life is the marvel of this relationship. This one as our husband, we're with him and so on and so on. So that's our kind of background, commonplace love relationship, which is always there. And so leaving that behind as our basis in the second level, we begin to settle in to another concept, obsession. My life as his life has no meaning except in relation to the way he comes out by me to others. There's nothing else. The only meaning of life is by some means, I'm a part contributor in the body of Christ, about which he comes out and repeats himself in others and fulfills himself as being their fulfillment, even as he fulfills with us in being our fulfillment. And we said that takes some settling in to. Each realm gets some settling in to. The concept you're not you but you're he and then you are you, that takes some settling in to. So it may be it needs some settling in to this other radical concept. The whole meaning of our relationship is out from us in relation to his world purposes. His world purposes are of course to repeat himself in millions. To have millions of walking Christ's by whom the world, by whom he ultimately developed has its purpose in the whole universe. So I have to keep repeating that. There's a repetition of inner consciousness here, of inner revelation. From the revelation of new birth, to the revelation of replacement or unification, to the revelation that this life means nothing except it's related to his purposes by me in the perfection of others, fulfillment of others. Because when that, as that sinks in to us, it affects our outlook on our daily lives, everything. Because our daily life becomes geared to another purpose. This one purpose. So this becomes the meaning to us of God only. The third recognition of God is a God for others only. Therefore I'm for others only. I'm a former God because I'm a former God for others. Therefore if God's for others, I'm for others. That's all I am. And others means by some means I have some share in this repetition taking place in humanity. Oh who I am, I have Christ in me. Oh that's who I really am. I'm Christ, I'm a former Christ, that's who I really am. Because that's the ultimate, that's of course consents from the heart of God, repeats himself in his whole human family. This is the perfection of his present purposes. The completion of the body, who are all walking Christ, and then through the body he's going to manage his universe. That we don't know much about yet. We only know we're heir to his universe, therefore he's going to manage his universe by himself in his multiple human forms. And those are only multiple human forms when the other love forms. When their basis will be to fulfill the needs of those for whom they become responsible. Just as God's only meaning is to fulfill his needs, that his life is fulfilling our needs. We saw that that started with a trickle, which becomes this flood of the third level. The trickle is, if you're born again you couldn't help somebody else to know, you've begun to be another lover. You couldn't help, oh I want other people to know this is eternal life. This drive, this Holy Spirit drive began to get you. So you've begun to be an intercessor, and begun to be a third level outgoer, from the moment you're born again. Because of course it's the same person in you. The saviour who saves you is the outgoing saviour who expressed himself by you, the same person. That's why we say the level is only a large understanding of who he is and who you are as a consequence. Only a large understanding of who he is and who you are as a consequence, on the three levels. And so we go on with the increase of that enlarged absorption, the thrill of our lives. We've had some relationships like we had our friend Richard yesterday saying, oh I talk with, oh I see. When at 2.30 talk AM with Mother Laurie, oh I see I am. That's the thrill of life. The Holy Ghost does it, the Holy Ghost does it. But we're in a major grace. Our selfhood is made the agency by which the Holy Ghost brings in Bill, turns the light on. And it may not, we haven't discussed that yet, it may not always be a direct person to person. Maybe you're part of it by which it's done. You may be the background person by which it's happened. What happened here, there's a background in the kitchen. So there's that background which is part of the whole thing. The whole body works as one. You can't have one day without the others. The whole thing works together. So actually when the Holy Ghost does something by one person to another, it's really of course, all sorts of people have been involved in that fulfilment. What we might call background person. We recognise that of course. So it doesn't necessarily mean you are directly or as a one to one person it's happening. But you find yourself in some senses, we talk about it, a part of that fulfilment, of that purpose in some senses which we talk about in the session. Then we saw that that had meant, that does mean, which you've accepted as a fact, the Spirit has worked in you a detachment. So God only means, really you only have He. You only have Him. Something's happened. There's been this flight of the alone to the alone. Somewhere there's been a cornering of you until other things have to be dropped out and cut off until this happens. Of course the kind of joke, paradox in the thing is when you are alone, when you have Him only, you have everybody. When you have Him only, you have everybody because everybody's a part of Him. But you don't find the everybody first. You find Him first and then everybody fits in. So you get back in the right way, a new form of love for your father and your mother and your wife and your children. It's the real love because you're serving love. It's the love that's best for them now. It doesn't always look like that. They may not always think it's so. Some of the old self-heat of the love may have gone off in some senses. A new quality of love is God's love. God's love is in a sense a detached person. Any of you who are nurses, you can't go crazy about a very patient. You can't pour yourself, you kill yourself if you pour yourself into the knees of a very patient. You have to be detached if you're a doctor handling 55 suffering people in a day. You can't suffer totally with everyone, can you? Your service is to do the best for them. But there may be a certain attachment about it. You can't get too far into their distresses and pain. You can do it. And God's like that in a way. So in the early days, one must be very much involved in it. That's of course why sympathy doesn't do it, compassion does. That's the difference between sympathy and compassion. Sympathy, oh that dear person, I must sympathise with their suffering. No, don't sympathise with their suffering. Sympathise is in fact the purpose of God. Sympathise with them in praising God because God's in their suffering. Then they'll probably kick you back if they do that one. That's compassion, you're doing the best for them. They may find their solution in their sufferings when they find the purpose of God in their sufferings. When they praise God in their sufferings, then they find the real way in which suffering takes its right place in their lives. So if you sympathise all the poor things, all you do is increase the suffering. So the self-love will increase the suffering, all the poor things. True suffering will be detached. True compassion will say, how can I help that person? God meant that, it's horrible, but God meant it, praise God. If you begin to believe God, you'll find peace will come and flow in your hearts, and you'll find the purpose of the whole thing. And you'll find some new thing, some new expression of God's come through the whole thing. How can I help them do that? You're detached a bit. So you're out for real love, because real love is for them when they can find their God adjustment of course. Then you've given them real love. So this new quality of detached love, it's the real love, it doesn't always appear to be real love to the self, to the flesh. So flesh may not like it too much. The husband or wife or children or parents may not like it so well. They like to have you all over them. They don't like you being all over God, that's too fanatical. And yet in that all over God you've got the perfect love for them, and you're doing the perfect thing for them. So actually, as I say, the joke or the trick, whatever you call it in this thing is, your God forces you to the fight of the alone to the alone. Until somehow something's happened and this is all, that's why I like to pass on to people, psalmists say wonderful things. The psalmist in some way says thoughts deeper than anybody else. You find great gems through the psalms. But one simple one I like to pass on is that one in Psalm 73 I think, which says what I'm saying. 73 verse 25. I like to put it sometimes in books but now I have to sign my name. Psalm 73 25, Whom have I in heaven but thee? And there is none upon earth that I desire beside thee? Huh? That's God only. Whom have I in heaven but thee? There is none on earth that I desire beside thee. And God will call you to say it. You see, it is in you, it is in you, but sometimes things have to slump over a bit, that sort of seem to be in the way, but God does that. Now that's what we talked about of the detachment of discipleship. And we said don't you touch it, don't go back to law works and try and do it. And don't hope to become that. If you say you are a third level person, if you recognise this person in his perfect nature which is other love is you now. You're saying it, you may not feel it the least, but you say in his perfect nature he isn't just a you lover, he's another lover. And some way or other your life is going to find its fulfillment in being something by which he repeats himself to other people. So you take that even mentally first maybe. Before you can take it, you take it by faith, like you take it mentally first. You say well I crucified with Christ and Christ redeemed me. It may not mean much to you, it didn't mean much to me for two years, I took it two years and said it two years for it and the Holy Spirit said it back to me. But I didn't go back on my saying it. Once I'd done that in the heart of Africa in a village and signed that up and put it on a bit of postcards and here I lay buried with Christ, I never went back on that. He didn't confirm it to him for two years, so the conscience didn't come back to me for two years. But I didn't go back and say that's what I've got to have, that's what I am, that's what I am, that's what I am. As I said I am, time to me said and you are. And that came from him. So in the same thing, if you catch it, it quite depends on the level of your seeing. If you're seeing what I'm talking about, and of those who have in the main passed through stage two, so we are those who are seeing stage three. If you're seeing stage three, you say you are what you've been unless you feel it. And when you read the Cypresship area we read yesterday, you hate not so you may well, no you say that's what I am. That old self-grab of them, which is what I hate, you didn't hate them, you hated the self-grab really, which is Satan's grab in you, has been replaced by God's grab in you, which is for them. So you now become a lover for them, but in that sense, your total love is God in so far as God's given you to have some participation in a father, and a mother, and a wife, and a family, and houses and that. OK, OK, this is wonderful. I'm for them too. I'm for the best for them and the best use of them. That's why when you give up nothing, this is taken from you. You're totally selfish. Don't give up one single thing until you've got to. He'll get it from you. So don't you give up any money or gifts, grab as tight as you can. And he'll take what he likes then. And because your heart is different now, he'll take it as he needs it. Or very often won't take it, he'll mainly make you use it, that's all, make you use it. So you get all off the idea I've got to give up everything, give up nothing and then you've given up everything. When a boss will give them everything, you give up nothing and then it just fits in, fits in, fits in. But there lies underneath it that basis, if he does take the lot I've got him, if I do lose my job, and my salary, and my pensions, and my security, I've lost that anyhow, what's the fiddling with, what if she was victorious, I've got the whole thing, all the money of the universe is mine, it's God's mind, and I just cash in for a little more, that's all. So we have that as your background. So I'm saying again, if you are saying, you're saying you are a detached person, you're not going by your feelings, you're going by what the Bible says about therefore you know the Spirit says it's true of you, and that you therefore have passed from the discipleship level. Discipleship level really takes place really in the moving over in the second level really, it's all mixed up in there. And you therefore, you take again as fact that kind of level we read in the book of Deuteronomy, when you're a fool when they're wise, and you're weak when they're strong, this is the church, the church, this is the church who thinks they're strong, not the world, that church thinks it's pretty good, pretty secure, pretty respectable, pretty sensible, and you're the fool when they're wise, and you're the weak when they're strong, and you're despised when they're honourable, until you are in that extreme statement, poor man, truth of the world, off-scarring of all things we say, that's at a positive level. Now again you say that, your self can't like that, see your outer body can't like that, your soul, that's all. What you like in the Spirit, your soul will come to like alright, and your body will come to like it, because they're part of you. So you say, Lord I choose to be, and recognise what you say is the outer appearance of the old apostle, weak and despised and poor and all the rest of it, and having nothing, possessing all things. You get back where Paul says, having nothing, possessing all things, as poor, yet many, making many rich, as poor, yet making many rich. So we're settling into that, as a description of the quality of this new level of being. Now we think the profoundest word in the scripture used, of what we are in this condition, is an intercessor. You can use other phrases, intercession is the quality of the priest. We read yesterday, he has an unchangeable spirit, he has an unchangeable priesthood, Romans in Hebrews 7, for he ever lives to make intercession. So we introduce that word, as the real final meaning of your life. So we're considering now what it means when the Bible says we're intercessors. The term is used, of us humans, in Isaiah 59, 16. And God saw there was no man and wondered there was no intercessor. That's where he made his own son the intercessor. Therefore his arm brought salvation unto him, that's through his favour. His righteousness sustained him. So God's wondering where there are intercessors. At that time, there were others, but this was the main one, it was his time as the intercessor, the intercessor in the unchangeable priesthood. We're told he fulfilled his intercession, on Azar 53. The process of fulfilment, or shall we say which led to the fulfilment, was 53. The last verse of 53 of Azar, therefore I will divide him a portion with the great, this is the fulfilment, that's the gaining of it. He shall divide the spoiled with the strong, because he hath poured out his soul unto death, and was numbered with the transgressors, and bare the sin of many, and made intercession for the transgressors. So here is the intercessor in his basic activity, by which he gained. So you see it says in the previous verse, therefore he shall see the trouble in his soul, as he was satisfied. The trouble in his soul of course was that millions should become members of his body, expressions of himself. He shall see, that's gaining it, he gained it. Therefore I will divide him a portion with the great, that's the gaining of it. The price he paid to gain it, is this one. He poured out his soul unto death, and bare the sin of many, and made intercession for the transgressors. So there is the intercessor in his calling, and there is the intercessor in his fulfilment of it, and then we read in Hebrews 7, the intercessor in his completion, we see here the trouble in his soul, when he was able to say that the ultimate will never come unto God by him, that's the one in Hebrews 7. We are the expressors of intercession now, by Romans 8. Romans 8 says the intercessor is the Holy Spirit, God for others. He is the intercessor of the universe, of course he is. And so it says you see, of Jesus, that he is the intercessor by the Spirit, because it says in Romans, I'm looking over there in Hebrews 9, it says who through the eternal Spirit offered himself as part of God. So the fulfilment of the intercession by his death took place through the eternal Spirit, brought him through that necessary way of intercession. And Romans 8 tells us how he is the intercessor by us now. 8.20, we help our infirmities and so on. We don't know what to pay for as we ought. But the Spirit himself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. And he that searcheth the hearts knoweth what is the mind of the Spirit, because he maketh intercession for the saints according to the will of God. Now don't waste our time thinking he's making intercession for us. He's got us. He's making intercession for his fulfilled purposes by us of course. Those groanings of the Spirit aren't groanings for me, they're settled. The inner groanings for his world purposes in the world, for salvation in the world. So don't mistake when he says he makes intercession for us here, meaning he's interceding that we may become something. That's been settled. We have become something by Romans 8 already. Having become something by Romans 8, he's now saying this is the person now fulfilling the ultimate purpose, the third level purpose by us. And it includes inner groanings, inner longings, inner desires, we long to see happen. They cannot be uttered. And when you know this type, you look at yourself, you find there are areas of groanings, areas of longing purposes that continue in you. Perhaps the greatest is how can the world get saved? How can we see the millions go to hell? What's the Lord meaning for the millions of Muslims, the millions of Americans, the millions of British? That may very well be, as it is to me, a real groaning. You don't utter it deep down all the time. How can it be? What part can I take in this? This manless world that so many of us have been groaning on into a lot of terms. That's a groaning which can't be uttered. Or it may take more local forms. So if the intercession is the intercessor expressing his intercessory purposes inwardly and outwardly by us, so we're the outer intercessors, of whom the real intercession always is the Holy Spirit. Like Jesus was the outer intercessor, but the Bible says he was through the Spirit, he was brought from the seventh house on. Jesus himself was the intercessor, the eternal intercessor. Now, how then does this, how is this intercession, if you like, in action in us? By what form does the Spirit operate this intercession by us? Now the first is a conscious commission. That's a tremendous fact. A conscious commission. It eats you up. Now if I understand it right, the highest in the Bible is to have some commission which has got you. There's a major commission. Inside the major commission you may find temporary minor ones. I've had several, but there's a major one. It eats you up. Jesus said, for this cause was I born. For this cause came I into the world, that I might bear witness to the truth. The truth was to reveal God as he would. In John 7 prayer he said, I have benefitted thy nature to the world. I've benefitted you to the world. Forever the world know the kind of God you are by me now. He said it's one purpose. That the world might know who this lover-father is and might move into the family relationship which they've been created. It's one purpose. Paul had one purpose. He was the apostle to the Jews. I've got to get out and get out and get out. And he died with his technical plans never fulfilled. He said he went to Rome that he might pass by them and go to Spain. There's no evidence here he went to Spain. If he'd gone to Spain he might have gone to England and he might have taken a ship with some ship master of Portugal and Spain and discovered America and Columbus maybe and taken the Gospels of America, you never know. But you see what I mean. On and on and on and he had a purpose which he died in a vast fulfilment but not a complete fulfilment. He died in faith not having succeeded the completion promised but you see there might be a big slice of the cake because we're the slice, millions of the Gentiles are the slice. So you see now I'm saying this to you, God can do it. If I use a personal illustration, I've just mentioned Paul, I've mentioned Jesus, of course Moses had it. He got the people out of Egypt into the land. He never for certain reasons didn't do the final step but he did the preparation which made them a people to come. They had to have the law, they had to have the tabernacle, the law of the grace, had to have that prepared for Jesus to come and Jesus could only reveal himself through people who already were prepared and he had this set purpose all his life. He had to give his life in the wilderness when he might have been Prince Royal in the palace and he had to get them to share the manor, the water and all, he said 40 years, 40 years to get this thing through. He only had one purpose. The Holy Ghost purposes should take place in the family who had already been formed in Egypt, should take their real form now as God's people which had to be under the law and under grace and get him into the land where they could become established. That he didn't do in the end, Joshua did that. So each one. See Abraham had a purpose. God said through you the world to be blessed and to be blessed because you ought to have a son and there's going to be a family and that family's going to be in the land. That wasn't his main line, those are interdental intercessions. Interdental intercessions that Abraham had was a purpose for land. Even interdentally the intercession he had was a son. The proof he wasn't a son was he was going to kill his son to rise again. That was proof he wasn't a son. He saw the eternal spirit fulfilling eternal purpose and creating the eternal family. So he had temporary purposes in the promise of the land in which he lived as a tent because he wasn't interested in property. So all those days he was a great sheep owner, he just lived in a tent all his life. I'm not interested in the property, it's just an agency from which the saviour of the world can come. It says he rejoiced to see his day. He had the concept the saviour of the world was going to come and then the saviour of the world was going to gather his body into being. So he saw that and then he saw he got through for the son after many travails. But even then he slew the son again because he wasn't for the son. He took the son up to burn him as a sacrifice because he counted that God was able to raise him from the dead. What a thing. And if he slew him he must rise again because God said through that son's promise would come the family through whom the son would come. So it always said that Abraham didn't see a land, he saw a city which had foundations, a heavenly city. So right that man's purpose was millions in the new Jerusalem, millions and millions of people of God's presence, God-lovers, God-beings, God-persons, millions of this fulfilled family. He saw, he saw it. He lived with that, he lived with that. His temporary conditions were to get a land, a promise of land and they get a son and then kill the son to see him rise again by faith. And a few misses and hits on ways, we all have a few hits and misses on ways which is part of our humanity. But do you see what I mean? So I'm saying mainly the purpose. Now I wonder, I've had to have a purpose. You sometimes have a, maybe part of a preparation. I, speaking in a personal way, I had preparation because I had a zeal for God as a young man when I went into World War I. I'd been saved and made a first dedication and had a zeal for Christ and souls. So I went into the British Army to witness for Christ. And as always you pay the intercessors price, even though I hardly knew intercession in those days, I was refused promotion. The colonel didn't like me witnessing for Christ. He wanted me to be a better British soldier. So he, so I cost, it cost me it, but you see I witnessed for Christ. I witnessed, I witnessed the officer, I witnessed the men. Before we went over the final fight in Passchendaele, I gathered at 2.30am with the guns roaring. I told him for the last time that I hoped that if Jesus Christ would be the saviour. My own, a few hours after, my own batman next to me shot to the heart. Most of my men were shot to the heart. By God's grace I got hit in the leg and escaped. God's grace. But so I had a purpose. Now out of that purpose they conditioned me suddenly to be brought in touch with the men who had a world purpose now. I was lying wounded in the hospital after four years of war. I got wounded in that battle. And somebody threw this little magazine on my bed about this man Stubb who sold out a big creaky career and a fortune inherited from his father and put it all into God's work. And there he lived to see the world get the gospel. There he was out in the heart of Africa taking his share in a worldwide crusade. I saw it. I got it. I'm a call into a world crusade. I'm involved that every person hasn't heard the gospel should hear the gospel. I got it or it got me. I think there's a certain condition, a certain preparation. I was prepared by faithful and often rather painful witnessing in my army days among both these soldiers and the officers. Seeing very little fruit, didn't know much about fruit. Even my method was a bit queer. A Christian who I thought a little older and wiser. There were very few Christians I met in those days. He said if you smoke a bit and drink a bit that will make a link. So I gaily smoked a cigarette and drank my beer as I preached the gospel. In the end I finally preached a better gospel without beer or cigarettes. Please turn your tape over. There'd be a way to get a little friendship with my men and the officers. And I did speak the gospel. We had 400 of them together before we went to France, Africa, before the France first time. A man came and gave the gospel to us all. We did something. But rather stumblingly, the only way I thought I could witness in those days, we were training, England's always raining anyhow, we live in rain, and there's a place called Salisbury Plain where we put our tents up where we were training for France. And the soldiers would be eight or ten in a tent. It was against the law to gamble. Well when the rain, I was an officer in charge of that area there, when the rain was on, of course these fellows inside, you heard the rattle of money going. So I'd open the tent flap, hi you fellas, I know something better than gambling, Jesus Christ, I shut the frack and go on. That's the only witness I knew, but he was a real witness you see. No wonder the colonel didn't like me. But you see what I mean, this, I'm getting in fact, that was a preparation. And the right moment came, I've got the calling. So that might be my life's calling. Shall we say in large or varied in form, because for many years that calling was, after myself being in Africa, to help open, we're open now through this faith, 40 different fields. So we planted centres of witness in India, Indonesia, Java, Sumatra, Borneo, Japan, Thailand, Nigeria, Ghana, Senegal, all around the world. Our fellow workers planted, and today of course there are living believers who are going out giving the gospel and so on. And then this literature crusades trying to open it up, 150 centres all around the world, books are pouring out, the point of Christ. Now I had that, but all the time in it, my heart was to see walking Christ, was to see fulfilled Christians, so that the second half of those two ministries, I was mixed up with both of them. I read to you yesterday that two ministries in Colossians 1, when Paul had the ministry to take the gospel of the world, they said he had the second ministry of the church for which they persecuted him, and to fulfil that ministry which is Christ in you. So the first ministry as it were was to bring Christ to them, Christ for them, and the second ministry is Christ in them. And so I had that, and so that has moved on for me into this area now of the same purpose. I still live for a world purpose, my world purpose now is this one, to help God's people find who they fully are, Christ operating in their human form. And that's now the commission, it eats me up. Now I'm saying that to you, because I already know of course, that we have those among us here eaten up. Now that, remember, being eaten up like that doesn't, isn't what material condition you're in, it depends what's what's the grab of your purpose in life, what's your heart. And so we have those like that, I mean God's grab builds up, but he's a business man, his business man's related now to getting everything he can, and to getting the witness out through you in your life magazines, and other people may have this replacement. You come along like John and Linda in Louisville, they build their whole home, it's good, the main point is to be an agency by which people can find Christ who's in them. And others are here, we mentioned Laurie here with the tapes, or Betty here with her thing here, or Sylvia, and others we know, and Evie Anderson, others who are grabbed by this thing. I'm speaking for you, I have no right to do, but I mean by that there is a commission, now you may remain just a housewife in a home, but something's got you, you're part of something, you're part of this thing, and your life is geared to this thing, this thing is that Christ can repeat himself in human lives, or in the body of Christ all over the world. So, I'm putting that to you as the basic meaning, first meaning of intercession, or being an intercessor, that the Holy Spirit gives you your special commission, and the highest privilege is if he can give you a total commission, grab the whole of you. Now, there are temporary commissions, within, as I say, I had one temporary commission in preparing me for the full commission, I've had other commissions since then, I went up to college, and God gave me a commission, that's why the IVF, the Devoutly Christian Fellowship, that was a specialised commission inside the main one, and then later on, as I say, I had other areas of faith in my missionary life to fulfil the missionary cause, but there, within the main commission, you may have many local commissions, but you're a main commission. Now, I just throw that out to you, if I am right, that is the high calling Paul had, he had pressed towards the mark for the purpose of the high calling, in Christ Jesus, the high calling was that he was the apostle to the Gentiles, that he would lay his life down, which he surely did, as a Gentile, he used the expression, it's very interesting, the drive that's behind the intercession. In Ephesians 3, Paul says that, verse 8, unto me, of less than the least of all saints, is this grace given, that I should preach among the Gentiles, the unsearchable riches of Christ, and to make all men see. What's the difference between make them, that's a drive. He had to go on, had to go on, had to go on, his calling was tramping, it may be different, yours may be in the kitchen, but behind the kitchen is this. See, the man I learned so much about intercession, if you want to learn intercession in action, get that Reese Howells book, there's a new one just coming out, there's so many demands made in this country, what does intercession mean, that a woman who was about my age, who started an early life, side by side with Reese Howells, 40 years ago, when he was called to start this college, through which missionaries could get out to the world and so on, and she started the school for missionary children, and she was always very deep in the spirit, understood his teachings and so on all the time, Doris Ruskell is her name. So I got her a year ago, and she was sort of finishing her school teaching, and it's like a new life to her, and she spent the year putting together what she saw and learned in the life of Reese Howells, not so much the life now, but the principles that come out of that life, what are the principles of intercession, and she's bringing out the book, it should come out by Christmas time or somewhere around the corner, Reese Howells Explains Intercession, and that may be of great value to many people seeking what is the meaning of this word we use, intercession. But I'm thinking now, there they gave themselves, I can't go into details, to see the world to be free from the gospel. See they were there in the days when Hitler and so on were braving the world, and Stalin and so on, grabbing the world, and they would tie the world in knots, the world wouldn't get the gospel. He said the world should have the gospel, he wrote a book, God will destroy those men, Hitler and Mussolini those days, and I'm not allowed to go into details of the ridiculous in those days, because of course in those days, Russia was an ally, not a war, not an enemy of Germany, Russia was allied to Germany, Germany had seized Europe, Hitler was on the point of seizing Britain, America wasn't anything at all, Pearl Harbour hadn't happened, so you went in it, oh things were bad. And he said, this is about intercession, the world is to be free, God will destroy those men, he wrote a book on that line. Now, am I saying now, I won't go into more details, he spoke, it's all in that book, he spoke the word of faith which has come to pass, well today of course it's fantastic, far beyond what he ever imagined, the world is amazingly open to the gospel, it's amazing the uprisings of the gospel in all these lands, through the national today, witnessing Indians, witnessing Africans, witnessing Indonesians, witnessing Japanese, besides ourselves, war is alive, witness, in Russia the same, in China the same, so you see the thing happen, what I mean is this, together with him, there are about 30 gay, lay their lives on the altar, and the world should be free of the gospel as you get out of the gospel, several of them gave up marriage, they're about my age now, and they've lived there together, some do the cooking, some will do typing, some will do housecleaning, men and women, they've got very lovely gardens in that place that God gave them by faith, some keep the gardens, they're manual people, but they're part of an intercessory group, by whom thousands of dollars is going to the mission fields, and by faith, they're the agency of the world which it is today, and is in all its freedom getting the gospel, that's intercession. So they're mostly hidden peoples, you just meet them, they're like white haired people like I am today, but they've given their lives day by day by day, in the morning meetings, prayers, intercession and so on, and they work, this is what they live for, they're an agency of which the world, God gets the gospel to the world. So I only put that to you, I say to you again, if I'm correct, the highest privilege God can give you, which he has given, I would say perhaps to quite a number of you here, maybe some of you will be able to say so in these days, you're set in a total commission. Of course we'd say our total commission is geared to what we call human life, to get this message out in these forms that God's given us to get it out, so that people may have Christ walking in them as he did in you. But you can't have a sense, I'm in this, and God's put me in this, your part may be, that's a detail, your part may be this or that or the other, that's the point. You're part of the agency of which he's, we say, see that's what we're saying in human life, we're saying if we're right, if the real secret is Christ replaced Satan in you, a free Christ in a free self, we say the church doesn't know that, I don't know why it is preached, I don't know what churches preach it, I think they do, I don't know what books show it, nearly all of them come back somewhat of law, you've got to work it out, nearly all do. So we say as far as we know we're almost unique, thank God there are others here and there because the name doesn't matter, it's the principle that matters. But so you see, shall I say, a good many of us here have been caught here. Now shall I say, Bill Buckley said he couldn't do any else, that we've seen, this is a life's commission for me, to take a share and see that this happens, we see it happening, we see there must be Nigerian folks who know, and Congolese who know, Japanese who know, Indians who know, Taiwanese who know, and some who like us, spark up and say we know this and we begin to spread the ways around us. So we see God implanting in the whole Church of Christ worldwide spots of light of people who have become knowers, I like to use the word knower, you know who you are, I prefer to call people as co-knowers and co-seers, knowing is called seeing inside, that's a simple term I use. So you see what I mean, maybe others are also going to be caught that way, this becomes the drive of your life then, everything else just has to fit into that. So there are ways in which the Spirit gives the life's commission and other things may fit in here and there within that commission. It certainly is possible to say to the Lord, well it would be, I would try to do a great privilege if, I can be one in whom you imparted that vision, that commission could be, you can't say that to the Lord. So then I'm saying that I have, that inside the, if you have the larger commission, inside the larger commission you have what you might call temporary ones, that may be in the domestic probably, maybe husband and wife probably, maybe children, maybe business fairs, maybe the church you're related to, maybe something else, local commissions. Well, the next phase, stage in intercession is the cost, you die for it. You've got to die some way, because the whole principle is life can only, this new life can only come out of death in the old. It has to be. So the world's got geared to self-operating on the wrong level, on Satan's level. The intercessor has to participate in a dying, a cooperative dying, a, we have had our own dying, dying for other people now, which can produce the resurrection life in them. See, resurrection life can only come through death, and death means a variety of forms of suffering, out of which shall be a dying, and in the tension of the death comes the faith for the life. See, suffering puts tension into you, puts tension into your faith, and you move into resurrection faith because you suffer. That's why the Bible always links the word suffering and glory. You have glory where you suffer. When you understand it, you see the suffering in the glory, you see the glory in the suffering. You don't talk suffering, you talk glory, but there's always suffering there. The three main scriptures on that one are in Colossians 1, I've already read them previously in another relation, verse 24, who now rejoice in my sufferings for you, rejoice in suffering for you. Fill up that which is behind me, the afflictions of Christ in my flesh, for his body's sake which is the church. Well, I've made a minister. Well, after I've made a minister, it's this calling he had to the Gentiles, and then inside the Gentiles to produce Christ walking in human forms among the believers. That's the fulfilling of the ministry. He therefore coupled this two-fold ministry, which he went out to the Gentiles, and then built up the Gentiles themselves might be Christ-filled people. And for that he suffers. The key statement is the one that Jesus made in John 12, 24, perhaps that's the key of all. He made it himself, he made it of us when we are co-Christs, co-saviours. John 12, 24, very rarely I say unto you, except according to which fall in the ground and die, it abides alone. If you die, it brings forth much fruit. So if our life is to be in outreach to other people, it dies. By itself it's a divide alone. If the spirit is fulfilling its outreach by us, we die and then out of the corn that's been sown in the ground comes the harvest which the world eats. The corn doesn't eat, the world eats it. The fruit comes up. So that's how Jesus put the principle for himself and for us. And Paul repeated it in the Colossians statement. And the daily experience of it is 2 Corinthians 4, which is the key scripture. 2 Corinthians 4, 7 is where it says we have this treasure, earth and vessels, that the excellency of the power may be of God and not of us. We are troubled in every side, yet not distressed. So the prices are trouble. You are troubled but not distressed. You are perplexed but not in despair. You have the perplexity, you have the trouble, you have the persecution, persecution but not forsaken. Cast down but not destroyed. So you are knocked about and knocked about. And there is the area where there is experienced suffering. There's a way out, we're not discussing it at the moment, there's a way out which he mentions there. And he puts it in full terms where he says what this means is we're bearing about the boy the dying of the Lord Jesus. That the life of Jesus might be made manifest in our body. There can't be life coming out to other people unless there's a death in us as co-saviours. And then he takes it further verse 11. For we which live are always delivered unto death for Jesus' sake. That the life of Jesus, that's the second area we haven't touched on, might be made manifest in our mortal flesh. So then death works in us but life in you. And suffer, fall to the ground and die like a grain of wheat, detachment would mean you weren't involved wouldn't it? No, you are involved again. You're detached from an over an overuse of love. The old life, you come back to be involved in love. You are involved. This level is justification, unification with God, identification with people. And in the people you suffer. Oh yes, you come back to that. How best can we get hold of that? Many of you know it but to recognise it to be so. Now as I say, excuse me using this in a personal way, when I witnessed in the army I did suffer. He wouldn't promote me. Well we're ambitious young men, he wouldn't do it. I suffered. When I witnessed for Christ in the university, I was strongly witnessing, I had this call to Africa and the Holy Spirit said, don't get your graduation, drop your graduation and in England you can't repeat it, you can't go back later and repeat it. Drop your graduation, don't take all the pride of being a bachelor, a master in art and all this university stuff, go to the mission field. That's a death for me. People said don't do that, I only had a little time more to go, don't do that. Well I did do it. But in doing, in that death, before I left, I therefore was living in the middle of, I was living in Christmas time, I wasn't going to continue through next year as I should do. And just before I left the university at Christmas time, I had another week or two left, up in December and the Holy Spirit came to me and said, these are your last days here. Now I said, you've got, by that time we had very small days, in those days we had about maybe 50 believers, men believers in the university, nowadays there are hundreds. Just a few. He said, that's not the point, you've made lots of contacts around, the people are unsafe, get to them, don't miss one, go to their rooms, knock at their doors, get at them and tell them where they're going. Pull no punches, tell them they're going to hell. If they're Christians who were obviously defeated, tell them they must have sinned in their life and better get it right. Now God possessed me, I did it. And I went round, well in those days, we were all, nearly all of us were ex-army men. So we went as young kids, students. We'd come back to finish our university career after war, so we'd mostly been ex-this and ex-that in the army and were pretty sophisticated. I went round them and so even to see anybody come for Christ in those days, there were about 16 who came out for Christ, different ways. Now the point is this, when this happened, my friends, my Christian friends said, let's get together and hear, this is, we want to hear good news, we want to hear good news. So we gathered to hear about these different ones who came out for Christ and gave their lives for Christ and so on, which as I say was quite rare in those days. As I did so, the Spirit of God suddenly said to me, every university in the world should have this, every university in Britain should have this, every university in the world should have witnessing centres, where they get the Word of God, they're built in the Word of God, they're witnesses for Christ and bring people to Christ. As far as I knew, I didn't know any other university except ours, that was the Cambridge University at that time in England. I saw the vision. And I got two of our men together, two of our students and said, will you join me in forming an intervarsity conference in London, Cambridge is about 200 miles from London. We'd form an intervarsity conference around Christmas, gather together some men from a few other universities and begin to get together a conference that catches on to having a witness in all the universities. Now after that's born the Intervarsity of Christian Fellowship. The Intervarsity of Christian Fellowship has been thousands of colleges around the world today. Do you see what happened? You mean, you die, I remain dead to that, I've never got this marvellous degree from the university, I've died to the reputation, but my goodness what have I got? Colleges, all thousands, hundreds of colleges around the Christian world have their centres of witnessing like today, they often call them Intervarsity of Christian Fellowship over in this country, and they call them different names in different terms. Do you see what I mean? There always comes something and you die. When I had to come on, I came home from Africa, because the mission was very small in those days, but the vision was the world, and our father died and we had to come home, my wife and I had to come home. I ran this thing, but money was so short at that time, isn't there, the depression. Actually that month, we had $500 for 35 missions for a whole month. Not a week, a month. All we had for a whole month for 35 missions out in Africa was about $8 each a month. That's pretty low level, even in Africa where things are a bit cheaper. At bottom. Now the law, the principle of our mission at that time was if people came home from the field, it costs a little more to live in England or America, it does in Congo, so you take a little more money out of the till, out of the money that's come in. We never appealed for funds, whatever funds are there, take a little more out of those funds, first for the help of the people at home, give the rest to the field. Hoistman says, can you do that with only $8? Of course you couldn't. He says, why don't you start touching the promises? They're out there giving their lives to get Africans to Christ. They won't bother about finances and so on, they just take what comes out to them. You're at home, at the home end where you're going to begin to develop the country, see the work of people, work in many, many countries, not only Congo. Why don't you say, why don't you never take your mission funds again? Why don't you step out of the policy, go out and provide personal refuge without a mission? Well, it was a bit of a sacrifice in those days. Do you know what I mean? We had to do that. So one time we had a whole month just eating lentils, that's all we ever had, until somebody sent the potatoes, we were thankful for that. We had a whole week, we had no money in the house at all, by that time about 10 of us, we had no money in the house at all. So we decided, the eating room was downstairs in the basement, so we had 30 floors in this house in London, there were about 10 or 15 of us maybe, I can't remember at that time. We said, well we'll meet in the prairie upstairs, we'll praise the Lord anyhow, we've got the living bread, even if we haven't got the material bread. Each time at mealtime, we'll meet upstairs and praise the Lord. We had one old lady in the home, the father of our mission was C.T. Studd, he came from a very wealthy family, and his mother lived in Park Lane, London, the old couple, the parents, because Studd sold out all he had for Jesus. And so she had a lady's maid, as they had in those days, and this was the old lady's maid, now about 75 years of age, who pretended to be a cynic, essentially didn't believe in God and all that, and she had a room downstairs in our basement, near where the dining room was. But we always told her, we had keen young Christian, young fellows preparing for this mission, she always called them her hallelujah boys, she loved her boys, her heart was on God really, she pretended it wasn't, she loved her hallelujah boys. Well, there we were, we met that first day upstairs, nothing, no bread, no butter, no cheese, nothing in the home, nothing in our pockets. And just as we began to say we'd praise the Lord, the bell rang from downstairs. We trooped downstairs, there on the table was tea, and bread, and butter, and cheese. Every day for a week, the bell rang three times a day, and every day, we always said, well you say daily bread, at least we can praise some cheese as well anyhow. That's all we had. And then on the seventh day, suddenly a farmer heard of us somewhere, and came up with a great load of potatoes, so the next week we began delivering more potatoes. But what I mean is, what I mean, you don't, you know, look back on those things and find, you see there's something on your level, God puts you at the bottom, out of that tension comes faith. Out of that comes the faith of why today we're 1,500 missionaries all over the world. See, the Christian Anglican faith sold about 7 million dollars' worth of literature alone last year, it's a different day, day to day. You see what I mean? And so, in each, each level, when, when you, when you have the commission, somewhere along the line comes something in which you have a death, and out of that comes life. Our great founder, Stodd, he went out with this, he was already nearing 60, he'd had bad health, he'd been in India and Africa, and he had bad health, and the doctor said if you go you die. Of course his answer was, going for a long time to die for Jesus, you may be sure I'm going, keep going, keep going to die for Jesus, you couldn't stop me like that, he went. Pair of trains out of Africa, in those days you had to go three months down the Nile River, and then 500 miles by foot in the forest, in the Congo, long before planes and that kind of thing, he went there. But my point is this, his wife would send me in Belide, I had half a day on her bed, with her heart, and she loved the Lord too. She didn't want him to go, because the doctor said if you go south of Khartoum, in those days Khartoum was the furthest south city down in Sudan, now you go a thousand miles beyond that to the source of the Nile, and 500 miles inland to the forest. That's where we went, and where Stodd went. And she didn't want him to go, she was a precious woman, she thought what could happen, now he said, he always had a wonderful oneness, wonderful oneness with his wife, but he said, if God says to me even if my wife forgets me I must go, so he said I must go. And as he left England, the day he left England, some business friends went to call on him, and they said, called him Charlie, Charlie Stodd, they said, Charlie we've got to say something to you which isn't very pleasant to say, we don't think you're even Christian leaving your wife in that condition, we don't think you're even Christian. He sat down and wrote a motto, which is our motto ever since, if Jesus Christ be God and died for me, no sacrifice can be too great for me to make for him, and he went. Now he went to Africa, and arrived, I joined him three years later, he went at that time, penetrated into Africa, and got to the mouth, the Congo, he was stuck there for crossing a lake, one of those big lakes, he was stuck in a tent, he got a heavy dose of fever, and when you've got a heavy dose of fever you anyhow think you're about to die whether you are or not. He had one young man with him, my brother-in-law was with him, he was about 20, and there they were, the two little tents, waiting for the porters and so on to help them to get across the lake, and he called him in and said to him, I don't think I should be alive in the morning, he says this here's got me, and we hadn't got many remedies in those days, we just took aspirin and sweated under blankets, that's about all we did with any fever in those days. And he said I don't know what I'll do, and he said to the young man, well if I'm gone in the morning what shall you do, and that loyal young man said he'd go forward, I don't know how he could have gone forward. He left the tent, those scriptures in James 5 suddenly came to Studd, if any man's sick and he calls the end of the church, let him, anoint him with the oil, pray for him in the name of the Lord, anoint him with the oil, perhaps he'll save the sick. So Studd, with his bump of humour, called back Alfred and left the tent, Alfred come back, I hereby appoint you an elder of the Church of Jesus Christ, 20 years of age. Now he said don't be particular, the Bible didn't say what kind of oil, we've got some oil in the kerosene lamp, the only oil in the world they've got, get some oil out of the kerosene lamp and anoint me. So he anointed the oil out of the kerosene lamp, the next morning he was all right. And so he wrote back to his wife, who had this heart trouble on her bed half a day, I've got that letter, called her silly, dear silly, don't trust those old, those human doctors, they're no good anyhow, trust your doctor and get up as I have, and she did, and she became a flame of fire at home, getting young men to go and join her, I was one of them, we were 1,500 a day, we were just two, but you know what happened, they saw each other for two weeks in 16 years, that's the price. See she remained at home, busy getting the young people to get out, he found what he called his black gold, his harvest of Africans, there he was in the forest, among all these Africans, bringing Jesus, he was so busy with the Africans in Congo, she was so busy getting young men to go out and women to join him, and they had only time for two weeks in 16 years. I was there for those two weeks, she came to Africa, this was ten years afterwards, near the end of his life, when she came to Africa on a visit to Egypt, a friend, they were doing a friend there, by that time telegraph had come through, we'd get telegraph, in the early days of course you only get runners, now we'd get telegraph through, and through telegraph she said to him, couldn't I come and be with you, well she was stouter and older, and I knew her, she was my mother-in-law, so I knew her, and I knew it wouldn't be very wise at that age, and the change of climate, and very rough conditions, very rough conditions in those days, we hadn't got what we had today. So it didn't seem wise, but we young men around Stout said, oh let her come, you know how young men are sentimental to young women, let her come, alright he said, if you go and fetch her, so he sent me all the way back to Africa to fetch her in, that wasn't an easy task either, and I did, I brought the Stout lady in, and through certain conditions which a son-in-law can be in, with a mother-in-law, to get her in, of course the famous occasion, I'm just saying this, because she had a way of saying things too, there the Africans crowded in, they didn't know he had a wife, except he had two daughters, that's the only proof they had a wife, they'd never seen a wife, and it did a tremendous thing for the Africans, Africans, oh now we see what it meant that God gave his son, you gave your wife to take Jesus to us, oh we see love now, God gave his son like you've given your wife, so they've had a great impression on the Africans, about 3000 of them gathered in a great concourse on that day, I was there with them, it was a historic moment, because here were these two on the platform, little mud platform, Stout was a tall, he'd been a great cricketer, tall, strong, six foot, three or four man, they'd become like a skeleton, they'd seem like an old prophet, a long beard, so here's a very thin Stout and a very stout Mrs Stout, and you know what she said to them, she said by interpretation, you people, you know why he came and I didn't, don't you, you couldn't eat him, but you might have eaten me, they got that one, that's only incidental, but she only remained two weeks, and it's quite right you went home, you see what I mean, out of that comes enormous harvest, you see there are deaths, you can't tell what death type they take, but God put you somewhere through death, and out of the tension of the death comes the resurrection faithfully by which the thing happens, so have I said that completely enough, that now you see, get this plain, death doesn't mean something dramatic, as I told you some of those precious women with Rieshaus, their death has been in the kitchen for 30 years, death doesn't mean you've given the life, and you're in certain conditions because God has put you in those conditions, and they're the price you're paying for the incision, so you understand there's the commission, and there's the cost, now what I mean is you begin to regard all your life as joined to this purpose, which is to be fulfilled, and you see your life, all that happens to you, whatever form it takes, it may be precious, you see it in a new light, as part of the purpose for which God's going to fulfill the commission, that's why this is the moment where your whole attitude changes, changes when you have caught the fullness of the fact that God means everything, Sauras discussed that yesterday, God means everything, now see as you proceed with this thing, you're going to come against pressures, difficulties, problems and antagonisms, and you may use your reputation, you may feel you've got to give yourself, give yourself to people, to win them, you have to take risks in giving yourself, your whole spirit, soul and body is given that God may use that to win people, incidentally, I don't think Paige is here, but some of you would like to meet with Paige, she can tell you a little about how you give your whole self to win a person, and how you may lose your reputation in giving it, how important, when you understand your whole self is God's self, he's coming through your soul and your body as well as you, and you give yourself whatever way he tells you to give yourself, that he may win whatever you're told to win, this is a local intercession, see there's a major intercession, like Paige's with us all, the major intercession of the union life, local intercession, some person comes through and becomes a new person in Christ, those are local intercessions, some of you might be interested to get around Paige, and hear how the Lord led her in the local giving of herself, to fulfil the intercession of somebody who can become a strategic expression of Christ, whose life can be really told for Christ, and lose reputation en route, most of these men lose reputation, I've lost reputation, I can't go and re-sell those reputations, it's a price that I have to pay, my own precious mission, Lord bought me, made me a kind of architect, I was led to build the thing up to the condition it is now, they're lovely people, but they think we go too far in saying Christ talks about innards, and they don't like the union life, you see, when you're out for Christ, I think God means kind of clay feet to show up, to test people out, everybody has clay feet, means you're a person for Christ, something about which you don't like maybe, other people don't like, I think you'll find everybody, oh they're for Christ, when you work closely there's something about who you don't like, some attitude, some action, some way you don't like, now if you're a person who sees God as a person, you see the great thing and don't bother too much about the small things, if you're a person who hasn't seen the glory, you see the small things and make an excuse for kicking the great things out, and I find people who fight union life, because they have some little sentences they don't like, some little phrase they don't like, and they turn the whole magazine back, because there's something they don't like, they are judging union life, you're not judging them, because if they'd caught the glory, oh they'd see the glory that rings through the magazine and Christ in people's eyes, they wouldn't bother too much about one funny little thing said there or other, I think you'll find God tests everybody out, I've always said in our crusade, I had the responsibility of preparing young, you see we had 1,500 of us, preparing young crusaders going out to all around the world in different fields, I always used to say you have a second baptism into the crusade, the second baptism will come when there are things you don't really like, you've got a shock, those missions aren't quite what you thought they were, this is quite less patriarchy than you thought they ought to be, that kind of concept you ought to be, it'll test you out, if your calling was to lay your life down to get to God's place, you'll go through, and you just buy parts of small things because you're geared to the large thing, and if you haven't got a real calling, you run away on the small things.