Phil Beach Jr. emphasizes the necessity of walking in God's light to experience true healing and intimacy with Him. He reflects on his own struggles with pride and fear of exposure, likening them to Adam and Eve's hiding from God in the garden. Beach encourages believers to confront their hidden sins and embrace vulnerability, as true fellowship with God and others can only occur in the light of honesty and humility. He shares personal testimonies of healing through confession and the transformative power of God's love, urging listeners to come to God as they are, acknowledging their need for grace.

What is available to us, Lord? Help us today, Lord. Help us, Lord. We're weak. We're unacquainted with the brilliance of your light. But we want you to help us to come to your light, Lord, and to be healed. And so we look to you, Lord. I can remember when I first got married. Um, I can remember that when we went to bed at night, it was, of course, dark. You go to bed at night and it's dark. But as soon as the dawn began to come and it began to get light, I remember I used to always wake up before Colette so that I could get myself washed and everything. Because I didn't like what the light revealed. I didn't like the way I looked early in the morning without being shaved, without having my hair combed and things like that. Of course, you grow out of that eventually. But the Lord brought that to my attention this week as I was praying and as I was asking him to teach me about why I don't know him very well. And he showed me that that's the way I am when I approach him. When if you're ever in a dark room and someone turns the lights on, the thing that we often do, at least I do, it is turn the lights out, turn the lights out. I don't like I can't hardly see. It bothers me. The light bothers me. And there's a fear in my heart, a fear in my heart when it comes to approaching the light. And I just want to read a scripture in Genesis. We're going to read several scriptures. But this one's in Genesis chapter three. And I believe the Lord wants to heal me. And if anybody here would feel that you suffer the same condition, then perhaps you might want to look to the Lord together with me for healing. Now, if you don't have this condition, then you don't need to listen. But I do. And I want Jesus to heal me. Almost 20 years ago, Jesus promised me that I would see with my eyes a great, great, great move of God. And I've been looking and looking and waiting and praying. I've traveled all over many places in the world, many, many different countries. I've been looking and looking. Well, for four or five months now, I've come to realize that what I've been looking for has been right in front of me all along. It's him. It's him. Here's what I saw. Genesis chapter three, verse eight. And this is Adam and Eve. Listen, in the state of corruption. Okay. Adam and Eve in the state of corruption, decay, darkness, sin, ugliness. Okay. This is what they were on the inside. Okay. Now, watch what happens when they hear the voice of God. And they heard the voice of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool or in the wind, the wind of the day, the wind. And Adam and his wife hid themselves. Now, that's what I'm doing. I'm hiding myself. Okay. They hid themselves from what? His voice. I'm hiding myself. Pray for me. I'm hiding myself. Now, watch. Watch. They hid themselves from the presence of the Lord. And the Lord God called unto Adam and said unto him, Adam, where are you? Where are you, Phil? And he said, I heard your voice in the garden, and I was afraid. There's the fear that's in my heart. I heard your voice in the garden, and I was afraid. I'm afraid. I want Jesus to heal me from this fear that I have. Now, watch. Because why was I afraid? Because I was naked. Now, this isn't a physical thing. I was naked. But I was afraid because I was exposed for what I had become, a liar, a hypocrite, a proud, arrogant, stubborn, rebellious God who bought into the lie that I'm something apart from God. I'm something apart from God. Why are we afraid? I hid myself. I was afraid because I was naked. First John. First John. I hid myself because I was naked. I hid myself because I was afraid. I was afraid because my heart had become proud, and I did not want to agree with what I saw in my heart when I saw it in light of your light. I was afraid. I was afraid that my wife would see the truth about myself. I was afraid that my children would see the truth about myself. I was afraid that my brothers and sisters would really see the truth because, Lord, I take pride in them seeing the fig leaves, you know, the good, righteous, holy, spiritual person. I take pride in them seeing the businessman that's successful. I don't want them to see the real me. I take pride in them hearing the scriptures I know and all the good works I do. You know, I'm a preacher. I like them to meet that man, but I was afraid when I heard your voice because I knew that hearing your voice meant they couldn't meet that man anymore. They had to meet the real me. So I was afraid, and I hid myself. For 25 years, I've hid myself. Now, like I said, you pray for me, and if you don't feel a sense of, oh, my, this is me, you don't have to listen. Actually, you can even go if you want. It's all right because I'm really needy this morning. I'm really needy this morning. My heart is broken because I've hid myself for 25 years. Now, if you haven't, right, there's the door, but please, before you go, pray for me, okay? If you haven't hid yourself, and maybe afterwards you can talk with me and help me, okay? But I've hid myself for 25 years, and I've been afraid, and I've been afraid because of the pride in my heart. Pride. But he still loves me. 1 John chapter 1, that which was from the beginning, that which we have heard. Now, just think about the encounter that these men had with the Lord Jesus. They recognized he was from the beginning, and they heard. Now, we're not talking about hearing a man teach theology. We're not talking about a man who stood up and taught nice sermons. We're talking about we heard the voice of God that Adam heard in the garden. We heard that voice is pure what? Light. It's pure light. We heard that voice. But look what they did. Look what they did. We heard it, and we've seen it with our eyes. This is what I want. I said, Lord, this is it. This is what I want now. Nothing. Listen, we heard it, we see it with our eyes, and listen to this, and our hands have handled it. We're totally out of the realm of religion right now. We're totally out of the realm of hearing sermons. We're totally out of the realm of playing church. We are in a realm now where we have encountered the brilliance of the light of God, and we are hearing it, seeing it, and handling it, embracing it. For the life was manifested, and we have seen it. We have seen it. Remember the testimony of the Samaritan woman, come meet a man. We have seen it. What will happen when we meet this man? What will happen if we keep meeting this man? He will tell us the truth. Remember last week, the Canaanite woman? It's not meat for me to give bread to the dogs. Dogs? Now watch this. That which we have seen and heard, declare we unto you. Oh, brothers and sisters, our Christianity is sterile because we have not given that which we have seen and that which we have heard. He's not talking about good teaching. That which we have seen, that which we have heard, and that which our hands have handled of the word of life, that we declare to you how we need an encounter with the living Christ. Watch this. That which we have seen and heard, declare we unto you, that ye also may have fellowship with us, and truly our fellowship. Adam, where are you? I hid myself. Was Adam fellowshipping with God? No, he wasn't. What was he doing? He was hiding himself because he was afraid. He was the author of religion and hypocrisy, Adam was. He was the first one who pretended to be something that he wasn't because he was afraid of the light and didn't want the light to shine. You know, we sang a song, your love, your love, your love. God is love, but he's also light. You cannot embrace the love of God without embracing the light of God. That which we have seen and heard, declare we unto you that you may also have fellowship with us. See, there was a fellowship in the early church that originated with the apostles and their acquaintance with the Lord that they passed down to the believers, and they demanded this kind of fellowship. Any other kind of fellowship was not true fellowship. It was the fellowship of hypocrisy. It was the fellowship of a false religion. It was the fellowship of Pharisees who pretended to be something they weren't and use God's word to support it. They introduced into the church a fellowship that was intimately related to walking with the Lord himself in the light of his brilliance. Now watch this. This, then, is the message, verse five, which we have heard of him and declare unto you that God is light and in him is no darkness. If we say we have fellowship with him and walk in darkness, darkness, we lie and do not the truth. But if we walk in the light as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his son cleanses us from all sin. If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say we have not sinned, we make him a liar and his word is not in us. I'd like to read a little brief excerpt here that I have that will help us to see the significant practical outworking of what it means to walk in the light. Please listen carefully. Darkness is not just a place void of light. Darkness is a moral state where you hide things, have secrets and give the enemy ground to traffic your life. Anywhere we allow darkness to remain, it can be an open door for the thief to come in and drain away our sense of intimacy with God and others. While in Slovakia a few years ago, I had the opportunity to take a tour of a cavern with an underground river below. As we hiked deep into the mountain, our tour guide turned on lights in each chamber that revealed stalactites and stalagmites that were awesome. Eventually, we beheld the beauty of the underground river where the river excited the mountain and flowed onto the land was one of the richest, most lush areas of Slovakia and produces the finest of vegetables and fruits. When questioned as to why this particular river was able to produce such life-giving qualities, the tour guide responded that it was because of the mineral content in the water that came from rich mineral deposits inside of the mountain. She then asked everyone to stand still and she turned out the lights. For 10 seconds, we stood in utter darkness. When she finally turned the lights back on, she explained, this water is pure enough to drink. No bacteria, no impurities live in the river. As long as it flows in darkness, it only produces life as it flows out of the mountain and into the light. Revelation began to break forth as I thought of how many Christians have deep encounters in the presence of God's love but remain hardened in spirit and can't seem to sustain an intimacy and healthy relationship with God, their spouses or others. I realized that dwelling in a place where the Father's love is constantly renewing and restoring you to intimacy can only take place when we are willing to walk in the light of God's love. God is light and in him is no darkness at all. If we say we have fellowship with him and walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth. Unconditional love is never based on the performance of the person who is receiving it. It is based on the nature of the one giving it. But God's nature is also light. And by his very nature, God is against any darkness that lies within us. He's not against us. He created us for love. Therefore, he is against any darkness that may hinder us from his love producing life and intimacy within him and others. Darkness is not just a place void of light. Darkness is a moral state where you hide things, you have secrets, and give the enemy ground to traffic in your life. Anywhere we allow darkness to remain, it can be an open door for the thief to come and drain away our intimacy with God. Now listen to the testimony of this author as he began to discover that Christianity was a constant walking in the light of the brilliance of God's light and God's love. Now, we won't hear this if we are set on hiding ourselves from the truth. We won't hear it. If we want to stay dressed up in fig leaves and appear to be something before ourselves, before God, and before one another, and pretend to be something that we're actually not, then this is going to go in one ear and out the other. But if God touches our hearts and we come to the place where we are desperate for him and willing to go his way, there's healing right here this morning through the power and presence of Jesus Christ. We've got to stop denying that we're hypocrites. We've got to stop denying and accept the fact that our heart condition is dreadful before God. But there's healing. There's healing if we will acknowledge our sin before God. If we'll say, God, I am a proud man. I am a proud person. I have lived a front and a mask so long I don't know what to do. But Lord, I come to you today. Help me. Help me break this pride and help me agree with the truth of your word today. Healing in marriages, healing in relationships, healing of past hurts and wounds that have turned into ugly monsters inside can begin today if we will stop living in denial and start agreeing with what the light shines in our heart and realize that to be afraid is pride. But to realize that God loves us even though we're miserable and he asks us to come to his son for cleansing and forgiveness. So look what happened to this man as it dawned on him. Many of the problems I have had are because of many, many years I despised the light. Light is rooted in humility, a willingness to be known for who I really am. But I loved darkness. Now this is a preacher talking right now. This is the testimony of a minister. I love darkness. Oh, yes. How easy it is to hide, to make believe, to be unreal and be more concerned with what man thought of me than what God thought. That's pride when I'm more concerned about what you think of me than what God thinks of me. And it's pride when I'm unwilling to tell you what God thinks of me so that you can continue to believe what you think of me. Now again, there's the door. If you can't relate to this, you can go. But please pray for me because I'm most guilty of this sin this morning, most guilty. But I know a scripture that says where much sin abounds, much more grace super abounds. That's my hope this morning. Okay, that's my hope. For many years, I struggled with intimacy and making God's love real with my family. Then in November 95, I was radically humbled by experiencing God's loving embrace. I was motivated to repent to my family for being more committed to ministry. Now you could take that word ministry out and you could put whatever you want in that. I was more committed to ministry than to love and for my inability to walk in tenderness and nurture at home. But what within a few weeks, the sense of God's presence began draining away and I ended up right back in the place I started struggling with intimacy with God and others and struggling with love for God and others. I felt as if I had lived in a womb of liquid love for those weeks. I'd seen my children risk opening their hearts to me, but then I felt it slipping away. Oh, the despair and shame I felt as I saw the hopes and dreams of my family shattered once more right before my eyes. Then, January 3, 1996, in the early hours of the morning, God placed a key to intimacy in my hand that I had been seeking for many years. 1 John 1, 5 through 7 exploded in my heart. Lasting fellowship and intimacy are only possible when I am willing to continuously walk in the light. I had been hoping for darkness to be dispelled through some great dramatic encounter, but freeing began as I became willing to be honest with my inward darkness, honest with my inward darkness. This brings us to the first area which may open the door to darkness. There was much about my secret thought life that my family really didn't know about. I'm not speaking of the outward, but the inward motives of my heart. I was filled with competition, jealousy, envy, and the aggressive striving to be somebody and to be seen and known. You see, it's wonderful to take the place of a sinner, isn't it? Because if you don't, you know what this will do? You'll choke on it. You'll choke. Or here's what you'll do. And you know what? If you do this, it's okay, because I deserve it. I deserve it. But here's what you'll do. Boy, that fits Phil to the T. I'm really glad it's finally dawned on him. I've been telling him that for years, but he hasn't listened. Well, you pray for me, because I deserve that. I deserve that. Do we want revival? Do we want revival? Competition, jealousy, envy, and the aggressive striving to be somebody and to be seen and known. These were the hidden sins of pride and self-love with which I had often struggled. My darkness gave the enemy ground to traffic in every area in which I chose darkness over light, and thus made it difficult for me to dwell in the Father's loving embrace and his light. But light is an armor that would protect me from temptation and burn away my flesh in its lusts. So one early morning in January, after our children had left for school, I opened the deepest, darkest areas of my thoughts to my wife, Tricia. She broke down crying and started opening up and confessing the darkness that was in her. Both of us began to weep uncontrollably as God's love rolled in like a wave of warm oil pouring upon our hearts. For three hours, we lay on the floor like innocent little children in the arms of a loving, comforting Father. Transparency, vulnerability, humility, and accountability. See what he's waiting for? Take the mask off. Take the fig leaves off. Say, God, heal me from my pride so that I can say, yes, Lord, you're right. I am a proud, rebellious sinner who has lived a hypocritical life at best, and I want mercy. Colette, Christina, Rebecca, Sarah, that's three, and the other four, forgive me. Your daddy's a weak man. I've not loved you with God's love. I've tried, but that's been my problem. I've tried instead of acknowledging that I can't, but I want to. Would you forgive me? Come on. There's healing in confession, saints. There's healing. I'm a free man. Why? Because I am a sinner. There's healing right here. There's healing. You feel that neck getting stiff? Say, Lord, soften this neck of mine because that's my pride that doesn't want to agree with God. Come on. That old neck's been so stiff. It's a wonder our heads haven't burst. I'm free. I'm a hypocrite, but I'm loved. What are you? Who are you? I'm a hypocrite, but I'm loved. I'm loved, Brian. Mom, Dad, forgive me. Right here are my parents. Forgive me. I'm a sinner. I've not loved you and honored you the way God wants me to. Forgive me. I want to. And I'm coming to Jesus. Ah, you try to get someone to live up to your standard and you're a worse sinner than they are because your standard smells in God's eyes. We're all the same at the cross. We're sinners in need of a Savior. Jesus, help me. Have mercy on me, thou son of David. There's freedom in coming to the light, being exposed, taking off the fig leaves and saying, true Lord. Oh, what freedom. I see it. I hear the sound. It's coming. It gets better. That night, I repeated the process with our three children. I asked each one of them to forgive me for specific areas where my self-love had misrepresented God's love to them. For months, I would just look into my children's eyes and begin to weep again and get on my knees before them seeking forgiveness for some act of harshness that I had committed years before. For four months, I dwelt in a womb of humility and love, and God began restoring the hearts of my children back to my own heart. The immediate result of choosing light over darkness was the receiving, listen carefully, the receiving of the gifts of humility and repentance. Humility and repentance. The gifts of humility and repentance come when in our heart we say, Lord, I want to receive the light. Then right out of nowhere, I ran full speed into a second area where darkness may come in. Darkness also can come as a result of wounding that we have experienced from others. Darkness is not always a result of our wrong moral choice. It can also be the result of our reactions to those who have disappointed or wounded us. Unresolved conflict in relationships can be an open door to darkness. With the restoration of God's love in my family, a fresh anointing in ministry began to flow. I then began to unconsciously neglect my wife, and I threw myself into ministry. My darkness invaded Trisha's light, and her darkness was about to invade me. We began to lose sensitivity to God's voice and no longer saw clearly where we were going, but were being led by the voice of our own need. She needed more of my time, but I was feeding upon the thrill of being wanted and needed in ministry. Neither of us saw what was happening. In May, I came home on Thursday from a ministry trip and was due to leave the next day for another. The disappointment at my being too busy and had been building inside my wife, she aggressively poured anger out on me right before I left. I soon found out how quickly the sense of Father's love can drain away. I stepped out of the center of His love when, because of pride, I preferred to be right than walk in intimacy and love. His love never forsook me. Trisha was right. No husband should be so busy with his job or ministry that he loses his sensitivity to his wife and children. I was right. No wife should try to get her needs met or her point across through anger. So for six weeks, we hit the greatest stumbling block we had in 20 years of marriage. Have you ever noticed how God often uses your spouse to reveal the unyielded areas of your heart? Conflict reveals unresolved issues of pride, independence, and self-love. It not only applies to family relationships, but all relationships. Let unresolved conflict remain and darkness begins to slowly creep back in, causing you to easily lose the sense of dwelling in the Father's embrace. Do you see how sly the enemy is? Tries to sneak darkness in to destroy intimacy. Our need to be right became more important than our desire to be right with God. Then our nine-year-old son Joshua came up to us and said, Are you and Daddy going to get a divorce? Seeing the fear and insecurity on his face quickly brought us to an awareness of our sin and back towards repentance. As each of us acknowledged our fault, we confessed our sin, and intimacy began to be restored again. When you allow unresolved conflict to remain, it opens a door to darkness. You feel insecure, and you begin controlling your relationship, which can open the door to a third area of darkness. One of the greatest hindrances to intimacy is when we let our hiddenness hinder our willingness to allow ourselves to be known by God and others. Light reveals darkness. Light reveals, darkness hides. Whenever we do anything or say anything to hide what we are or what we have done, that is darkness. Light brings warmth and life. Darkness is cold and drives us to hide behind walls of self-protection and self-righteousness, where we are unreal or pretend to be more spiritually mature than we really are. Our general proof of heartfelt sincerity before God and man is our openness and transparency with God and with one another. Just one more thought here. Hiding the truth about ourselves from others, pretending to be more mature than we really are, are the supreme sins that ultimately caused the Pharisees to crucify Jesus. The first sin disciplined in the book of Acts was a sin of deception and cover-up. He goes on to talk about a youth pastor who was addicted to sexual sins and finally confessed it and was healed and then talks about a girl with another kind of inexperience and then he closes, the power of light dispelled the darkness and gave them a new marriage. Talking about a couple who was on the verge of divorce and they were healed when they stopped denying the truth and came as sinners to the cross of Christ. They came as sinners and it says the light dispelled the darkness and gave them a new marriage and they began being used in ministry to help others who had been through similar experiences. And then he closes by saying, confess your sins one to another and pray for one another so you may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much. How much more will the blood of Christ, who through the eternal spirit offered himself without blemish to God, cleanse your conscience from dead works to serve the living God? Let us draw near with a sincere heart and full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water. So there it is, beloved. God is life and in him is no darkness to your light. Help me, Lord, not to resist your light, not to fight against your light, not to be afraid of your light. Give me the gift of humility and repentance, Lord. Help me never to hide behind religion or scriptures or anything, Lord. Help me to come naked before you, Lord. Help me, Lord, to come just as I am. Now, Jesus said to his disciples, I have set an example for you. He said, happy are you if you follow it. I stand here confessing I am the chiefest of sinners, guilty of pride, resistance of light, arrogance, and I'm asking you to pray for me. Happy are you if you do the same. There is no other way. There is no other way. Any other way will lead to error and darkness. God is going to require, as he has me, some of you to take the place of a sinner before your family, before your children, before your brothers, before your sisters, and before the world. A sinner. It's going to be hard. Your neck will be stiff. You will find in your mind the voice of the serpent trying every possible way to make you believe that it's not so about you. It's true about me, and I admit it. It is true about me. It's actually a lot truer than you think, and you do need to pray for me. But what about you? So I want to take the place of the sinner this morning, and I want to get on my knees in a few moments before God, and I want to once again meet that man whose brilliant light shows me everything I am and then bids me come to me, and by faith I will be unto you what you do not have in yourself. I will be your righteousness because you're so unrighteous. I will be your godliness because of your ungodliness. I will be your love and patience which you have tried so hard to demonstrate and miserably fail, and you compound the problem by pretending and making it think, making you and others think that your patience is really good when it's just nothing but failure. But see, we can't come to him by faith and receive what he can be for us until we first come to see that anything we try and offer him is nothing but filthy rags. We must come as sinners, failed sinners. Oh, and I know pride will reject this, but the gift of humility, we can receive it, and so may God help us this morning.