In this sermon, the speaker shares a cute story about three boys competing to do the best thing for their aging mother. The first boy buys her a big house, the second buys her a Mercedes with a driver, and the third buys her a trained parrot. The speaker then goes on to describe the qualities and abilities that a mother should have, including six pairs of hands and three pairs of eyes. The speaker emphasizes the toughness and capabilities of mothers, and how they can reason, compromise, and persuade. The sermon also includes a personal anecdote about the speaker's competitive nature and a lesson he learned from breaking his racquet while playing a game.

Welcome to the study of God's Word with pastor and author Steve Mays, recorded at Calvary Chapel South Bay in Gardena, California. To learn more about the many resources available through Light of the Word, visit us online at lightoftheword.org or request a copy of our latest catalog at 1-800-339-WISE. And now, here's Pastor Steve to take us into our study. So we turn to Proverbs 31, Proverbs 31, and this morning I want to speak to you on what I think, personally, is a woman that has the heart of God. A woman of honor, a woman of honor. And in Proverbs 31, verse 23 through 31, we talked about that. But in verse 11 of Proverbs, it says, "...the heart of her husband does safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life." And that has really been a testimony to what Gal has had to go through with me. Her husband is no one in the gates, so my wife has to sit through these board meetings and these things, when he sits among the elders of the land. Verse 26, "...she opens her mouth with wisdom, and in her tongue is a law of kindness." What a great verse. Verse 28, "...her children rise up and they call her blessed." That's like, always cracks me up. NFL football games, guy goes through, dad pays everything, dad pays college, dad trains the kid, guy makes a touchdown, hi mom, how you doing? Dad doesn't get nothing. "...favor is deceitful." Verse 30, "...beauty is vain, but a woman that fears the Lord, she shall be praised. Give her the fruit of her hands, and let her own works praise her in the gates." A columnist once wrote, "...on the day God created mothers, he had already worked long overtime. And an angel said unto him, Lord, you should not spend so much time on this one. The Lord turned and said, have you read the specs on this model? She has to have 180 moving parts, all of them replaceable. She is to have a kiss that will heal everything from a broken leg to a broken heart. She is to have a lap that will disappear whenever she stands up. She is to be able to function on black coffee, leftovers, and she is supposed to have six pairs of hands. Six pairs of hands, said the angel, that's impossible. It's not the six pairs of hands that bother me, said the Lord, it is the three pairs of eyes. She is supposed to have one pair that sees through closet doors, so that whenever she says, what are you kids doing in there, she already knows what they're doing. She has another pair in the back of her head to see all the things she is not supposed to see, but she must see. And then she has to have a pair of eyes in front to look through the kid to make him do what she wants without saying a word. She has to have the ability to feed a family of six on one pound of hamburgers. And who can persuade a nine-year-old child to take a shower? The angel looked at the model of motherhood a little closer and said, she's awful soft. Oh, but she's tough, said the Lord. Amen. You'd be surprised at how much this mother can do. Can she think, the angel said, not only can she think, said the Lord, but she can reason, compromise, and persuade. Then the angel reached over and touched her cheek. Oh Lord, this one's leaking from her eyes. I told you, Lord, you couldn't put that much burden on one model. That's not a leak, angel. That's a tear. What's a tear for, the angel asked. Well, it's for joy and for sadness, for sorrow, for disappointment. You're a genius, Lord, said the angel. What a marvelous mother you have made. God made you in such a miraculous way. One of the hard things is to do is to buy something for mom. And I came across a cute little story before we dive into the word about three boys that were competing who could do the very best for mom. And mom was getting old and she couldn't see real well. So the first boy said, I'm gonna buy mom a house. And so he went out and bought a great, great big house. Huge house. Gorgeous house. The second boy went out and bought mom a Mercedes, brand-new Mercedes, but it had a driver 24 hours a day. The third thought it through quite a bit. He went out, found a parrot that had been trained for 12 years that could quote any verse in the Bible. And because mom loved the Bible, he thought this would be the best of all the gifts she could ever have. About a month later, she wrote a letter back to George. Hey, George, thanks for the house. I live in one room. It takes my whole life to clean the other house. The second went to James. James, the taxi driver you sent is a real pain. He's rude and nasty. I fired him and I'm not sightseeing any longer. I can't see. Third, Steven, that bird you sent was the best chicken I've ever had in my life. Training that bird for 12 years and she ate that puppy, I'll tell you. I can't wait to tell my mom that story. She's coming for a service. Let me give you things I think that I can share. As a pastor, because of a woman that I've been married to for 35 years that I think has a heart after God. And so I want to talk to you not about being a woman of the world, nor a career woman, nor even a housemaker. I want to talk to you today where I think is the greatest need in today's world. A true mother. Who is she and what can she do? And the reason I'm talking so honestly before you is because I believe that we're seeing the unraveling of the fabric of our morality. Our whole country is coming apart. And I believe because women are losing the very foundation of who they are. And the thing that's held our country together is women. The thing that has held the church together is women. The thing that holds a marriage together is women. And you can hear all the guys tell you anything they want. But it is the women who pray. And it are the women who really get involved. But I believe that God is looking. And God wants you to know there are six things that you can kind of begin to really think about in these last days. Number one, a true mother has a Savior. Very basic things, but I want to go through them. She has a Savior. She's in love with God. When I think of my wife, she loves God. The day we got married, she said, if you love me more than you love God, I don't want you. And I said the very same thing back. Because we were in love with Jesus Christ. But the reason she has a Savior is because God has forgiven her of all of her sins. She has come to know that she's a sinner saved by grace. That she's a woman that has passion and compassion. She's a woman that makes mistakes and has to deal with those issues. She's a woman that gets angry and gets flustered. Gets hurt and gets lonely. She has all types of emotions running inside of her life. But the greatest thing is she has a God. A God that she has come to understand in a very powerful way over the years. And that God has become a refuge in her life. A refuge that I could never give her. A refuge that no husband or children or family could ever provide. And I'm convinced today that women oftentimes are looking for that perfect guy. There is none. Or that perfect family. They're all dysfunctional. Or that perfect child. There's no such thing. And by the way, we're not perfect. There's only a God that's perfect. So when a woman hooks up with a God that's perfect, something wonderful begins to happen. She begins to be able to dialogue and talk. And she begins to understand the power of the refuge she has. And he has restored her soul. He has released her fears. In the midst of a storm, she can find peace. In the midst of confusion, there's joy. And check this out. God will always listen to her. Guys will not listen. Children will not listen. Parents will not listen. But God is always there to listen. And he will help her. And not only that, he will change her. And you know as well as I do, you cannot change a woman. Nor can you change a guy. But a woman is a unique thing in the eyes of God. But when God speaks to a woman, a woman changes. When God tells a woman that she needs to open her heart and trust again, she does it not because of her husband, because of her love for God. Everything around a woman is built in the very nature of God himself. The woman has always come to know God, to love God. And today we're seeing women pull away from God. They're looking to their friends and being hurt. They're looking to their ideal husbands and being disappointed. They see their children falling apart, but they're not running to God. They don't have a refuge. And she becomes the great lover of God. But God becomes her great lover. No husband can love her the way she needs to be loved. I can tell my wife 25 times, did I say I love you? I tried that yesterday. We're Now she blows it off, but she loves it. But she makes me go and die for it. But God loves her. God doesn't hurt her. God doesn't disappoint her. Her kids disappoint her. Children disappoint her. Parents disappoint her. But God doesn't. So guess what? My love for God is that my wife loves God. So when I think of a woman, I think that she has a savior. But number two, a true mother has a Bible. You think, well, Steve, I know this. No, let me share something with you. Very profound. I've been married to my wife for 34 years. And in those 34 years, I think I've only seen my wife six times not be in God's Word. She rises early in the morning. She gets up and has her coffee. She opens the Word. She has her journal. She reads the Bible every day. And she begins to look inside God's Word . And the reason is because she is promised by God great things. And I believe that she has come to a very special place in her life. You see, men, even myself, have made promises and I broke them. And my children and other friends have made promises and broke them. She has broken promises and we see ourself in the same very boat. But God has never broken a promise. So not only does she have a refuge, she has a strength. Not only does she have a place to hide, she has a place to trust. So she's way ahead of who I am. She's way ahead of what this world has to offer. She's way ahead of what the kids could ever do. Yes, they will hurt her. Yes, they're going to break her heart. Yes, I'm going to drive her crazy. But my strength is in that she fears God. And every day she's up seeking the Lord and she has promises and God is giving promises. And when I lose the promises of God, something happens in my life. She loves the quiet times where God speaks to her, where God becomes so real, where God will listen and God will correct and God will encourage. And sometimes she'll have me a piece of paper. Here's a verse for you today, Stephen. And through the difficult times of our marriage, when God was raising me up to become from a hippie to what I am today, every time she has been in that Bible, asking God to make me what I should be. And she has had to hold on to promises in my insecurity in my fears. So when I think of a woman, I think that number one, she has a God, a great God. But number two, she has a Bible filled with promises that keeps her hope and joy alive. So when she's disappointed, she doesn't have to go on drugs. When she's beat up, she doesn't have to run away. God will be her strength and God will be her help. And God will fix the problem. And God wants to give her something to hang on to. But thirdly, not only does she have a God and a Bible, but check this out. A true mother has a church. And I say that with all integrity. In other words, she needs to be fed. And I find that my wife comes and she takes notes, which cracks me up. And she comes to most of my services. And the only time we ever have a problem is when I start talking about marriage and she's shaking her head. Like, okay, you can talk it, but you're not living it a whole bunch right now. Just so we're communicating here. And so we kind of kid each other. But through the years, I've come to realize the tremendous ministry she has. She's able to set. But here's why. Not because she has to. She knows she needs it. Not only that, but she knows her husband needs it. And she knows her children needs it. So if she could get her kids to church, if she can get her husband, the church, if she can get her family in church, her whole life is getting people in church. Why? Because she wants them to come to know the relationship that she has with this God. And when her kids are worshiping, not listening to all the hip hop, when her kids are seeking God and not going around and trying to get on different things, she knows that she is ministering to her family. So her heart is busy, but she's more together. I look around the church today, and I realize that 80% of the work done in this church is done by women. I look at every church I've ever been to, 80% are done by women. I look at the world and I realize behind every great man, there's a great woman willing to sacrifice. Behind every great work, there's a great woman who's willing to give and sacrifice. I think of my wife. She's prayed her heart out that God would make me what he wants me to be, and now I'm gone. And so she sits there in the house by herself with her animals. And you think, well what type of a life is that? Well she's learned to give me to God and to share me with people, and that is a great sacrifice. But she comes to church, and then she gets involved, and she teaches, and this is her family, and she pours her life. But let me tell you, there's a reason. She wants her family in church, and she wants her family committed to God. A time of fellowship, a time of reaching out. So number one, she has a God that's bigger than her husband's God. Number two, she has a Bible that is marked with all the promises of what's God gonna do for that family. Number three, she's in church. Family time at home isn't television and popcorn. Family time is around the altar of God, hoping that those kids will walk in the ways of God. If they're corporate, or if they're church, or if they're pastors, doesn't make a difference as long as they're going to heaven. This woman wants that family going to heaven, and it breaks her heart when her husband is rebellious. It breaks her heart when the kids begin to go astray. And so she goes back into God's Word. But number four, a true mother has a prayer life. There's nowhere in the Bible you can go better than to see Hannah, who prayed, and every great man has had a praying wife. You look at Chuck, his mother prayed for Pastor Chuck. You look at G. Campbell Morgan, it was his mother. Every great preacher had a praying mother. And when you realize why, there's a reason. Because sometimes a guy, most of the time, always a guy don't want to listen. My wife has a tendency, like many of you, that you tell us one time, but then you got to tell us 10 different ways the same thing. For us guys, it drives us crazy. For you, you are just making sure the ding-a-ling is paying attention. You're doing your homework. You're methodical, analytical. And we're sitting here thinking, come on, one time is good enough. Well, you know better than us that once is enough. Write it down, help us out here. But what I come to realize, really this, is oftentimes, Gal will sit there and listen to me. But when she wants to talk, I'm walking away. And I don't know what it is with guys. We just don't know how to listen. So guess what? She has a God. And God will listen. And God will able to minister and she can tell God how she feels. And so she talks to God about her husband. She talks to God about her kids. She talks to God about her church. So you will find women praying for the church, not dividing the church. And you will find a woman praying that God will deal with that son or that daughter and bring them back to Christ. I remember playing racquetball and I was somewhat pretty good at it. And always went in and having a great time and took the board members out and they would say, Pastor, you want to pray? And I said, no, let's play. And just beat them, 21 to 2. Bam. Just beat them. And if I was going to lose, then I hit them in the leg on purpose to make sure I win. And I was just so competitive. And I was out there playing heathens, anybody. And pastoring a church and doing it for the Lord and working out. And one day I was playing these nonbelievers and we're playing and we're playing and I missed a shot and I got really mad. Took my racquet, slammed it on the floor. Didn't think anything happened. It broke in four places. So I got up to serve and I hit it and it didn't go nowhere. And I looked at the racquet and it was bent over. And these nonbelievers said, well, aren't you a pastor? I go, yeah. Well, why did you get so mad and hit the racquet? Because I missed the shot. Well, you can't play now. You better go home. So I went home. I walked in the door with that broken racquet and my wife had her Bible open and I said, did you pray that God would speak? She goes, I prayed that God would deal with you tonight. I said, okay. It's like, bam, bam. She didn't have to say a word. She just takes me to God and God deals with me. You know, a woman can really turn a world upside down. And so a woman comes to find a place that the sacrifices in her life, she doesn't understand she can talk to God. The giving of her family, she can learn to give it to God when a kid moves away. Yes, it's emptiness. Yes, it's hard, but she can ask God to fill her in her own heart. The burdens that come upon us and the fears that come upon them because of the insecurity or the lack of the stability of the husband. She can find security in God. Her whole life can change when she has a God. Her whole life changes when she has a Bible. Her whole life changes when she comes to church and she grows and she sees her kids worshiping God and her whole life turns around when someone will listen to her. And it's always God because God knows her and God made her and God knows what she needs and God will hold her and God sees the tears that we often don't see. But not only that, number five, a true mother has a sacrifice. I think about this so well and so much of my life. I think of a woman praying for her kids to be successful and God answers that prayer and then they move away to fulfill their calling and she's lost. I think of a mother praying for others in the family, the grandkids and the kids begin to move away. I think of a wife praying for her husband like me and all of a sudden God has opened these doors and now sometimes I'm gone and so I'm trying to take her with me more often but it's hard. And so here the very prayer God has answered but the sacrifice is intense. But what does she do? Her whole life is a sacrifice. She raises, she loses, she gives, she doesn't give back. A woman's life is one big sacrifice that we don't understand. I heard a little story the other day about a woman that just did not do anything one day. Her husband came home, he was the vice president of a bank and came home and the kids were out in the street playing. The door was wide open. There was trash all over the front yard. He came into the kitchen and the kitchen was filled with dishes and there was dog food on the floor and dishes and people were jammed and it was a mess and the whole house was torn up. He thought his wife had a heart attack. He ran upstairs and she's reading a book and he just says, what are you doing? And she just said, honey, you want to know what I do all day? I thought I'd just give you one day to see what I have to put up with. And it just opened his eyes. We look at women and we think, what do you do? You know, they hold us together. They pick us up. They see and you know the number one job in prayer is they want holiness. One of the great things I can testify that God has changed my life as a man is that my wife's standard for holiness is much higher than mine. When she would be watching television and that word GD would come on, she'd turn it off. No second chance. Out. Done. And I'd just look at her and say, I agree. But maybe twice. Nope. Once. Done. Okay. And through the years the purity and no, get that out. No, we don't want that here. This is what we, she has fought for purity and holding us in our home. And you know what's happened? It's rubbed off. So I see it now from God's perspective. As a husband, I should have been doing that. Husbands have a hard time with purity and holding us. But all of a sudden you realize that God is holy in this woman who wants a holy family, a holy sanctuary, and this guy is bringing in HBO and this guy's bringing in pornography and this guy's bringing in all these things. And the guys let the children bring in this stuff because they don't have the strength to say no. What a woman wants is holiness. She wants her husband pure. She wants her children walking with God. This is why they pray. And then the task. I see here the sixth thing. A true mother has a mission. She labors for God. Let me just read this to you. In Proverbs 31 verse 13, she seeks wool and fleck. She worketh willany with her hands. She is like a merchant ship. She brings her food from afar off. I think that's Costco's right there personally. She rises also while it's yet night and giveth meat to her household and a portion to her maidens. In other words, she gets the water for the gardener. She takes care of the husband. She takes care of the animals. She considereth a field and buys it. I think that's Ross's and Macy's. With fruit of her hand, she plants a vineyard. I open the, you know, doors where she has the clothes and I see tags hanging on them still. She goes, I haven't made a decision yet. You know, it's crazy. I just, okay. What are you going to do? I'm going to see and make sure they like it and then I'll either take it back. She's always willing, always dealing. I think if women ran the country, we'd probably be out of debt pretty quick. She perceives that her merchandise is good. Her candle goeth not out by night. She always has something to do. Let's start another project. Lay her hands on the spindle. We got to paint something, do something. Her hands hold everything. She stretches out her hands to the poor. Yea, she reaches forth her hand to the needy. Always having that mercy. She's not afraid of the snow for her household. In other words, she'll pick up the snails, she'll pick up the poop, whatever it takes. For all her household are clothed with scarlet. She makes herself coverings of tapestry. Her clothes are silk and purple. She maketh fine linen and selleth it. Now this is cool in verse 24. I say to my wife, do you have any money? No. Well I know she has stash. Every woman has their stash. They have 4 or 5 places they stash their money. I'm not going to talk about that. So you're not really lying because you don't have it on you. And then when I borrow money, like honey can I borrow you 20? I always have to give her 25. I mean she's always making me feel guilty. You want my money? No, I'm talking to somebody else. Can I have 20? I gave you the whole paycheck. Well, you never give it back. That's not true. I always give it back with interest. They won't let go of it. I mean they have it. They have it hid. If she ever dies, I'm going to find it and pay the house, I'm sure, somewhere. And then they're good. They're smart. You know, you give them an allowance. Would they have to buy food? And then they say, honey, you want to go shopping with me? No, we don't. Why not? And they make you feel bad. Like if you don't go, you're not going to eat. So you take them. And then they say to you, am I buying this or are you buying this? What are you going to do? You got to buy it. So then you bought it. You gave them the money. They get to keep the money. They go shopping for clothes. They're really smart. Let me tell you. She stretches with honor her clothing. In other words, she, she's together like the angel. She's smart, smart. She's so smart. She's endless. And is she, is she, is she tender? She's tough. If a guy got pregnant, he'd shoot himself. And then lastly, not only does she have a mission, but she has a hope. And I think this is the most important. Yes, she has a God that can forgive her, change her, correct her, help her. She has a book that gives her the promise that her kids are going to come back, that her husband's going to come back. Things are going to happen. She has a tremendous church that she throws her life into. She mingles. She talks. She has a tremendous prayer life that she can ask God to change things because we don't listen sometimes. And then not only that, she has a tremendous gift of sacrifice. You don't understand. Go do what you have to do. I'll stay with you. And then she has a task, a mission to hold the family together. But lastly, she has a hope she's going to heaven and all she wants in her whole life. And I can attest to this. She just wants me, my family, our kids, my mom, everybody to go to heaven. And so she lives her life hoping to see her mom and dad one day. Now when you have a mother that has that type of a capacity, you realize that's a great mom. And today for you, I just pray that when your husband's let you down, and when things don't go just right, and when no one really understands what to hold or how to hold or what to say, and when the dreams have been shattered and things are happening and children get sick or kids run away or husbands lose their jobs, you can stand. Because you and God are co-creator. God made you with the capacity to give life. For my mom, it's been hard. She brought me into this world and she's had to let me go to do what God wants me to do. But if it wasn't for her, I wouldn't be here. And now I'm on a mission. I want to share Christ, teach Christ. Thank God for the women of our church, single, married, widowed. Without you, we wouldn't really know the nature of God. We need you. We need the women strong. We need them talking about holiness, about righteousness. We need the women praying for the children, for the church. We need women who understand what it is to have a God that will comfort them so they don't go out looking for love somewhere else. And boy, we need women who have a Bible that know the promises of God and will not allow Satan to rip them off. My prayer for you is that God would take your God-given emotions, the way He made you co-creators, the height and the depth you go to. I get cold. I get hungry. My wife is freezing to death and starving to death. I mean, bam, bam. But let me tell you this. My wife is way up there with God. And I'm always trying to catch her. And I don't know if a man can. There's something that a woman has that she can connect with God. Don't lose that. Don't let any man, any child, anybody take that away. God gave it to you. Love your God. Love your Bible. Love your church. Love praying. Love praying for the church. Love what you do. And one day, you're going to have a mansion in heaven.