In this sermon, the speaker shares a personal story of facing trials and temptations and feeling like a failure. He relates to the struggles of the Israelites in the wilderness and the Apostle Paul's struggle with sin in Romans 7. The speaker expresses a desire for victory over these challenges and references James 4:7, hoping that resisting the devil will lead to his fleeing. He then recounts an encounter with a snake in the jungle, where he cries out to God for help and learns the importance of obedience and trusting in God's guidance.

You notice the opening hymn and the opening song were on the theme of spiritual warfare. And that's where the Lord taught me some lessons in there in the jungles of Erie and Jaya, Dutch New Guinea. And I want you to turn your Bible to Ephesians 6, that's the warfare chapter. That's where you read about the parts of the armor that you're supposed to put on so that you can stand against the powers of darkness. And the verses just come prior to those verses of the armor in Ephesians 6. The verses that I'd like to read for you this morning, Ephesians 6, chapter 6, verses 10 through 13. It says, Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of his might. Put on the whole armor of God that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. And then at verse 12. For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Wherefore, take unto you the whole armor of God, that ye may be able to stand, to withstand an evil day, and having done all to stand. We live in an evil day, you know that. It must be possible for us to stand in an evil day. You notice verse 11 and verse 13 repeat itself, that ye may be able to stand. That you might be able to make it in a day, wherever you are. But that verse 12, as a missionary there in the jungle of New Guinea, with these headhunters, cannibals around, and all that occult, all that demonism, and all those things, I wasn't so sure. This verse, in a sense, scared me more than it helped me. The verse ever done that to you? We wrestle not against. I think Satan reminded me of this verse. Says, Otto, you haven't got a chance. Look at it. Look at the power here. Satan knows scripture. He quoted it at Jesus, and Jesus quoted it back at him. He knows the Bible better than we do, I believe. And he says, we wrestle not against flesh and blood. If we did, we could all go out, and we ought to have a course in the school for karate, right? So that we could all make it. But it's not flesh and blood, but against principalities. Whatever that means, powers. And it gets worse as you go along. The rulers of the darkness of this world. How would you like to meet that? And then the spiritual wickedness in high places. And that's what Satan had me focusing my attention on. And I tell you, it gets you down. And I'm here this week to encourage you that we are able to stand. And that we can make it no matter what the odds are against us. I never forget that first day when we came into that village. There were Jufo on the south coast of Erie and Jaya, which used to be called Dutch New Guinea. And one of the older missionaries of the mission had brought the mission boat up the river with all our stuff, all our gear, our supplies. Incidentally, the man who brought it was Mr. Preston. I think some of you know Curtis and Brent and Tosha who are here. Um, and, uh, he brought the boat up and we flew in as new missionaries with a brand new baby, which we just had on the coast and, uh, three weeks old. And there stood all those dirty, smelly savages. I mean, they, they never bathed. They had sores. They have flies all over. And there they stood. None of them, nobody had any clothes. They all stood there. They all looked alike to us. And my wife being a nurse held that baby tight in her arm, covered it with a blanket. And these women started pulling at the blanket. They'd never seen a white baby before. So they, they, they wanted to see the baby. My wife started slapping their hands. I said, Carol, go easy now. I mean, this is our first day. I mean, boy, she turned them out right there, you know. But she wasn't going to let those people look at the baby. Well, we got them. There was a house there that had been built by a missionary who'd been there, uh, nine months. And his wife had to leave the field because of illness. And so the place had been empty and he asked us to go to take that station. Uh, telling us that other missionaries would join us when new missionaries arrived. This never happened in visa problems. And, and the other missionaries never did arrive. And there we were all those years and, uh, without anybody else. Uh, never was intended that way. But I remember going up to that house and, and, and it was dark. The natives carried all the, uh, goods up to the house. They unloaded that whole boat, you know, and very quick time. Everybody seemed to pitch in and, uh, I couldn't understand a word of what they were saying. Neither could the other missionary. He was with another tribe, Mr. Preston. And so we, uh, we got it all up there and got some food and got some rest. We were all tired. Next morning there, they stood with their hands out waiting to be paid. And the whole village was there, men, women, children. Now I knew they hadn't all worked. I didn't even have 300 pieces to carry. Uh, and so I said to, uh, Mr. Preston, I said, uh, do you remember who worked? They're all dark complexion, all curly black hair. They all short, you know, nobody, if you have a red shirt on blue shirt, you can tell people, but they all wore the same thing, you know? And man, they were, they were grouchy people. They, they yell at, they yelled at us from the bottom of their throat. A grouchy gurgling sound. It was sounded like they were terribly angry. That was their normal talk. I didn't know this. If I had, it wouldn't help me a whole lot. But I thought they were raving mad. I thought, why are they angry at me? And there they stood. And, uh, I tried to find out who you guys work. See, I'm Dutch by birth. I was born in Holland. We Dutch people never pay somebody for not doing anything. We're, we're just that way. And, uh, and so I, I thought now, who of you guys worked? You know, I tried, but they all hollering at once. And, uh, they're getting angrier by the minute when they thought, as I hesitated, they thought I wasn't going to pay him. And I asked, uh, Mr. Preston, I said, do you remember who worked? He says, no. I said, what do I do? He says, pay him, you know, pay him quick. And I said, well, I don't know who to pay. He says, pay him all. Well, he'd had experience. Well, I didn't want to pay him all, but I did. And, oh, then as they went home laughing, that dumb white man, you know, we got a vengeance first day. Wait till we come back, get the rest of it, which they later did. And if we do tell the pineapple story, you'll, you'll know that they helped themselves to the rest of it. But, uh, they, they were looking at all our things and, oh brother, I prayed them all. But then after the rest went home laughing at me, the others, about 10, 12 men stood there. Now I knew who had carried the heavy stuff. They were mad. Now I knew what it was to be angry. I tell you, they stood there and foamed at the mouth and yelled. And, oh, I thought, what do I do? I pointed to the village, you know, go away. You know, I didn't know that they pointed with their chin. I was pointing with my finger. They look at my finger, wondering what I was doing. But finally I just shut the door and locked it as if that was going to help. Hey, they could get under the house that's on post and burn the place down. No time for that. The windows were no windows, just mosquito screens. I mean, I said something to my wife. I should never have said. I said, honey, I think we're going to set a record. She says, what? Martyred the first day in. Now I should never have said that to my wife. I mean, that didn't help her any. You don't, now you marriage, you don't say that to your wife. I learned the hard way. I never told her that again. I never told her that I was afraid, although I was afraid about every day. She would tell me she was afraid. Honey, you're just going to have to commit it to the Lord. Because I knew from experience that was what I was doing every day. But oh, I finally, the mission, the other missionary left. We had another missionary came in for a couple of weeks. Help us get started on language. He was in another station and there we were left on our own. Oh, I learned to pray those days. You better believe I did. People say, were you afraid? Oh, sure. We'd be lying if we said we weren't. You don't know that language. And there are, of course, people like that. And then my wife gets sick with hepatitis. She was down on her back for nine months that first year. And I had never cooked in my life. You're going to be missionary. Hey, learn to cook. It's hard enough with those foreign foods and so on. But that old kerosene stove would not burn. I was inherited from the other missionary. And I took the thing apart and I fussed with it. It was a complicated thing, rusted. And the kerosene was dirty anyway. And I couldn't get that thing together again. I passed it. I set it on fire a couple of times. And, oh, friends, I couldn't get it going. I had my devotions beside that stove so it would heal. Maybe it'd get healed. I let my tears run on that stove just to see if it would have pity on me. There was nobody that could fix it, you know. And I laid my hands on the stove, you know. I didn't have to anoint it with oil. There was oil all over the place anyway. But, you know, I tried to, man. Here I was outside with that big black pot cooking my rice. You know, a couple of sticks in a wood fire. And those natives stand around coughing and spitting. And I said, get away from my rice. You know, I almost getting to be like a nurse. I was starting to see germs too. And, you know, oh, friends, have you ever been frustrated? You know, the worst thing about that stove was dumb. It was a Phillips. It was a Dutch stove at that. It made it even worse. But, you know, when my wife got sick, I had to wean that baby and put him on the bottle. Now, my wife had these fancy bottles. You ever seen those plastic sacks in those white containers? Men, don't allow them in your house. They're no good. They did this. They leak. Oh, terrible. And I had this pot of milk trying to get through that thing. And then you're supposed to warm up the milk. Hey, my stove wouldn't burn. Friends, let me tell you mothers something here. This is a good way. Don't let those babies push you around. They, hey, mine is six foot three now and plays basketball. And he's as strong as any of them. And he made it on cold milk. So don't, if they, if they get hungry enough, they'll take it. Well, you know, but that radio wouldn't work neither. I had a little two-way radio and the coach would call us, say, Jufo, is everything all right there? And I'd say, everything's fine. Thank you. And why did I say that? Everything wasn't all right. Now, I told him my wife had hepatitis. But brother, why do you cover up the fact that you're a failure? You know, well, I was only at this three months and I was a Dutchman. Dutchman never confessed that they can't make it. We'd rather die than fail or admit that we fail. And so I wasn't going to give up that quick. And so everything was fine every day on the radio. But that radio voice got weaker and weaker. You know, you're supposed to charge a battery. But my battery charger wouldn't work. It was a Briggs and Stratton. Don't get one of those. That thing I pulled the natives. I, I got a little bit of language by now. And I said, missionary, you're so dumb. You've been, you've been pulling that thing all morning. The other missionary just pulled it one time. Man, I felt like telling them they weren't so smart themselves. I mean, when I started to write, they said, wow, he carves fast. You know, it must have been a fast carving. So they weren't. At least I had, I tried to tell them I had a BA, you know, from college. I've been to college. They didn't believe it. But, you know, they called me dumb every day for 14 years. I started to believe it. After a while, you, you catch on, I suppose. But, you know, finally, they, when we were out, it's an, it's an excellent opportunity to worry when the voice gets slower every day. And one of these days you're going to be off the air, you know, you, you start worry. One of these slow things. Finally, the plane came and brought us a new battery charger and so on, whatever. They, they seek for you after about three days and you're off the air. But I try to get that outboard motor going on the river. That was my little boat, little fiberglass boat to be used on those rivers. There are no roads and no swamplands and used for evangelism. I couldn't get that boat motor going either. I'd never had any training on small motors. I came back on furlough. I'd had, I've been to the, you know, I've been to Bible school, you know, and learned theology. But, uh, I didn't know how to run these motors. I did that first furlough. You better believe it. I learned how to operate some of those things, but I couldn't get it going. And I said, oh, that's great. I hope it never goes, you know, because I didn't like those crocodiles in that river. And, and, uh, I wasn't, I wasn't concerned with evangelism. I was concerned with survival somehow, somehow to make it, I was getting letters from home once in three weeks, a plane come out of how many churches are you starting? You know, you know, I, I, I hadn't even thought of that yet. Um, I was a soul winner back home in Ontario, Canada, where I, we were immigrants to Canada. Uh, and, uh, I, I knew the right verses to use to win people to Christ. You know, you can get it, you could get to, you can get good at it. So they can't say no. I don't know how many people I won. I, I was a personality winner, I guess more than a soul winner. Uh, but they thought that if I got out there in the jungle, I'd convert that whole island in no time flat. That's where these letters were coming. How many Christians you got and all that? Well, man, I didn't even know how to speak the language yet. Uh, all these problems came up. Now, then the medical work, I remember my wife having started the clinic and now that she's sick, they came to me, said, Turan, give us medicine. I said, I don't know how to do that. You just go home. Oh, Turan, you're too stingy. You're eating all the pills yourself. Uh, they, well, they were looking through our windows and we were taking vitamins and they thought we were eating. They said, Turan, just open the door in that building back there. And right around the corner is where your wife keeps the box. And they'd say, I want the red ones and I want the white ones. And they all had their favorite color pills. And, um, I don't know, every day they called me Stinzy. And, uh, finally I said to my wife, what do I do? Well, I brought the box in the whole house and she took out the potent drugs that I could kill people with, uh, codeine, what have you. Sent me out there with the malaria and the aspirin, what have you. Taught me how to give shots on a lemon. And I got good at that. I'd really be able to shoot them up. And I was out there in a full-fledged medical worker. Can you imagine that? Uh, I'd say, here they stood around, the flocks of them, their flies and their sores and tropical ulcers. And I'd pull their teeth with my pliers and I'd sew up their wounds when they'd cut each open. And I'd help deliver their babies to problem cases. And, uh, brother, but there they stood all yelling at once. You know, you, you, you don't know how to, this diagnosing is a problem. Uh, they'd have these internal diseases. What are you going to do with them? Uh, they would say the evil spirits shot me right here. Show me the scar. I say, you gotta be kidding. I mean, evil spirits are spirits. They got, they don't go around shooting people. They showed me the bruises and, uh, on their backs where they'd been beaten. And I couldn't believe it. After 14 years in that jail, I do believe these things happen. Uh, but at that time I thought, no, no, they, people are all deceived. And, uh, I, I didn't know what to do at all. How do you treat a, uh, a shot that, uh, that the evil spirits give a guy? I mean, even doctors here would be, uh, stunned at this, uh, wonder what to do. I, I didn't know. Finally, I hit a system. I, I asked him, I said, where do you hurt, man? And if it was from their belt up, I'd give him aspirin. And from the belt down, I'd give him sulfa. And I just shot him right through that clinic, you know, just got him. My wife was always amazed how I got them all treated so quick. And, uh, I, I, I believe, I believe one time a guy, he'd been shot by the evil spirit here and went down below the belt. So I gave him both. Um, I think I saved some lives. I really hope so. I, I know I lost some, but of course, doctors here at home do the same thing. They save some, lose some. So what's the difference really? Um, but you know, one thing they said, he loves us. He loves us. He's sharing his medicine. Oh, I'd give him all kinds of things. If I didn't think they, they wanted attention, well, I'd give him something else. Uh, I give him shots of water. If I felt they didn't need penicillin, uh, I made that, I used those big needles that left, you know, an extra big hole. So that discourage them from coming back too quick. I sewed him up without anesthesia. Um, and later I found out that the more it hurt, the more it's going to help. Oh man. Then I sharpened my needles again. Have you ever been frustrated? I mean, really? Have you ever been called to do something that you weren't ready to do? It sounds funny now, but oh, the frustration, the day by day, all these people hollering at me. Then in the morning, think of it in the morning, I'd get up or I'd wake up. There's the people outside the door. Give us medicine to him. Yelling at me. Here was that baby yelling, screaming at me for his milk. You know, he was one of those that first thing in the morning screamed, you know, first thing he did. And he, when he started to eat solids, he'd scream between every bite, you know, you shovel it in as fast as you can. He'd let out a scream between, that's the kind. So I, I said, Lord, who am I going to shut up first? You know, here's that baby, you know, here's that, this frustrated just about that time. I didn't feel called to be a missionary anymore. I, I really prayed, Lord, make my wife sick enough so we can go home. Uh, people say, well, you must not love your wife. I do love my wife. She was praying the same thing, but we had to give, have a good legitimate excuse to go home. You know what I mean? So you can tell your home churches, Hey, my wife got sick, you know, nothing else is wrong with us. Oh, friends. And that's pride, isn't it? And, but there was other problems, the, these demon possessed people. I was praying a very sincere prayer. I said, Lord, don't let me ever meet a demon possessed person. I really prayed that sincerely because I wouldn't know what to do with them. And I didn't want to meet any. What foolishness was this prayer of mine when all these people were, there was a blanket control of Satan over these people. They'd all given place to the devil as they met their enemy fighting. Uh, they would invite the evil spirits to come into them so that they could fight the enemy. Well, there, you got a whole gang of them just going wild. People ask me about the bloodshed and the head hunting. Is it still happening? Oh, yes. And many of, many of these tribes were missionaries and government hasn't gone. And there's approximately 150 of these tribes today that haven't been touched. Some of the most never seen a white man. And they're there today carrying on in total control by Satan. What they eat that, uh, is, is controlled by Satan and what they, uh, whatever they do. I later friends, I later found out what some, what their culture was by taking a Bible principle, something that Jesus very clearly tells us to do and doing and, and taking the opposite of that. And I said to them, do you do that? And they said, yeah. How'd you know? Well, it was contrary, the opposite to what the Bible teaches. And you could go right through scripture, all the commands of all, all the teachings of Jesus Christ and the commands of God and take the opposite. And that's Satan's way. And he was controlling him just from A to Z. They, they ate stuff that wasn't good for them. That's why their teeth rotted out. Uh, baby teeth of children before they got their new set in would rot out. Uh, they would die by 45. Most of them were dead. Satan destroying them, whole tribes of them. And, uh, the only thing that was good for them that they, that they, that was good for him that Satan had them a eat was, what do you think? Well, that was my pineapple. The only thing that was good for him, Satan was willing to make an exception to ruin me, to ruin my victory, keep me angry. You see, but he, he was destroying that way. They believed all Satan's lies, blanket control. And they were, and here I was praying, Lord, help me never to meet one of them. Little did I know that on this side of me, uh, was a close by the first house lived CB, about a 16 year old boy who was always falling into the water and always falling into the fire and I'd bind up his wounds and burns and terrible, finally get them all healed up and he'd fall in the fire again. And so frustrating. We called him an epileptic. Later we found out he was a possessed boy. I asked another missionary, do you have any epileptics or do you have any demon possessed people in your tribe? And they said, no, and don't know of any. I said, do you have any epileptics? Oh, you have lots of them around. We were totally unaware of these things and, and not ready for this. Uh, this CB would do everything he could to ruin my life. I mean, he'd get in there. We had a barrel of water, caught the rainwater out in front there for the kitchen use. And he would get the only piece of soap in the village and start taking his bath in my drum of water with his dirty wounds and bandages. And, oh, I was so mad. He did this over and over again. Just ruined my day. I'd get so angry. I hit him once. I shouldn't have. He'd crawl under the floor, look up through the cracks in the wrong rooms. He would just get on the, on the window in the middle of the night and screen the window and let out a big howl in the middle of the night. I'd go clean off the bed. Didn't slumber. Miserable. That kid, that fellow was wearing me out. And I didn't know it was a demon controlled. Taken away to victory and a missionary and to help because my nerves were going down real fast and I was heading for a nervous breakdown and my wife was not well physically next door was on the other side lived Watsy. Watsy's wife had twins. One is a demon. One's a human. So they want to kill one. Well, we saved both and she died in Chalbert and we pulled both of those kids through. They had a big fight over her belongings and over who was going to get those children. And he got shot through the arm and we got him over that. But he was crying at night, wailing right next door to us. Uh, the house was, well, about as far away from me as that pillar was the corner of his house. Too close. But you know, Watsy would scream, yell, beat his drum every night. Just make a big, and I, we couldn't sleep. It was so close. He let out a big yell. I came to him one morning and said, Watsy, why don't you do your crying and yelling in the daytime so we can all sleep at night? And he says, ah, Tuan, I don't have to worry about daytime. The ho-hoi doesn't bother me. The evil spirits won't bother me in the daytime. I said, well, why should they bother you? Ah, Tuan, she died before I did. That's the problem. She's an evil spirit now. She's going to get back. I said, why should she want to get back? Ah, Tuan, you know, I used to beat her all the time. Now he's going to beat me. That evil spirit, she was the lucky one. She died before I did. She's going to get back at me. I've got to stay awake, Tuan. When I feel myself going to sleep, the evil spirits come in the dark. When I feel myself going to sleep, then I, I beat my drum and I jump up and down. I said, I know you do it. Wakes all the rest of us up. He says, well, that's what I'm trying to do. Wake me up. Oh, I said, man, wearing me out. We needed to sleep so desperately because the hot humid weather and all the things going on. So Satan was using us, breaking us down. If you were Satan and you saw a couple of missionaries coming into your territory, what would you do? Try to get rid of them, right? Somehow, listen to this one, somehow make them want to go home. How's that? That's exactly what I was asking the Lord. Lord, make her sick enough so we can go home. I was wanting what Satan wanted. Who wanted me there? Of course, God did. You see, here I, as a Christian missionary, am siding with Satan's wishes. And I'm unconscious of it. Made a study of this, how often we as Christians in America and missionaries know, side with Satan against God. Every time we worry, we do it. Satan says, worry about this one. See, the radio is going to be off. Jesus says, Philippians 4, 6, be anxious for nothing. By everything, by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving and so on, trusting in God. And what do we do? We say, yes, Satan, you're right. You're worried. Satan says, here comes those headhunters. They're going to get your head this time. Fear comes at me. Jesus says what? Fear not. I'm with you. Be nothing that's made. I'm thy God. I will strengthen thee. Yea, I will help. You know, all the verses on fear. Jesus says, fear not. Satan says, fear, what do I do? I'm scared to death. And many, many times I find, I found that I'm agreeing with Satan against God. And right now I'm finding ways it's happening here in the States where we're doing the very, very same thing. Always siding with Satan against God. And when you think of God in heaven looking down on us, oh, what must he think? Oh, the sad shape of my people who are siding more with my enemy than with me, even though we're in Bible college and what have you. And friends, we were going downhill fast. There was, there was a personal problems, the things inside. I get to the mission. I got to the mission field and I was a warrior. Always had been. I got it from my father. It's really his fault. Nor is it a fearful person. Almost died in the war in Europe and Holland there. Almost drowned in the Atlantic on that crossing in 1948 on that boat. And I was afraid and I had that all the way through. I got born again there in Canada, but friends, I still had that fear. Fear of sin. You know that chronic fear is sin, but you can get by a mission board, put your tie on just right, comb your hair nice, look good, talk good, have all the verses memorized and they can, and have all the good references. And nobody will never know that inside of you, you're not ready. You go to mission field. We're trying to catch this now and admission in our mission board. We're trying to screen that out. And we come out right point blank. Hey, do you have victory over fear and worry? How about it? I'll be honest, you see. And because how Satan will hold that against you. He got me out of auto. God can't use you. That's right. You haven't got victory over fear. You haven't got victory over worry. I was saved at a later age. You haven't got victory over impure thoughts. The old filthy story that you hear back in the locker room days and whatever you've read and heard and seen lodged in the back of my mind. And here you get these impure thought problems that you ask God forgiveness for. I'm sure you know what I mean. You can ask forgiveness and God always forgives, doesn't he? How many times has God forgive? Do you ever confess the same sin over and over again? Anybody here does that? Same one every day? God forgives you every day. Oh, that's grace, isn't it? The grace of God, people. He would forgive us. And I thought now, how long? Two years of it. Every day these sins. Will God forgive me? God does. His grace is sufficient for all our sin. That's grace of God. We ought to thank him from the bottom of our hearts for that very fact. Otherwise, none of us could be here. Otherwise, from president down, the fact that none of us would have a chance if God didn't forgive over and over again. But that's not victory, is it? That's leaning on the grace of God. But God wants far more than living that way. It's a miserable life confessing the same sins over again. I got to the place where I'd confess ahead of time sometimes. I knew I'd do it again. Have you ever told your little brother or your child, Johnny, now say, Jesus, help me never to do it again. I quit that after a couple of years. I knew I'd do it again. I knew payday was next day. Wouldn't have a chance to pray early in the morning. I said, Lord, this is what I would pray in the morning. So why not do it ahead of time instead of behind time? I'm not trying to be funny. But that's how sure I was that I was weak in these areas. And Satan would remind me of Ephesians six. Hey, we wrestle not against flesh and blood. You haven't got a chance out. Look, these people are demon possessed and you have no victory. We wrestle not against flesh and blood. You haven't got a chance out. Look, these people are demon possessed and you have no victory. And you're worrying God can't use you. You might as well go home. Now, friends, you've all heard of the martyrs. And I remember people laid down their lives for the gospel when Satan stirred up people against him and killed him. Like the Akka's in Ecuador. If you read that story, what happens to these tribes? They're usually converted. Everybody gets to praying for the Akka's or for later on. We had two of the RBMU, Stan Dale and Phil Masters were killed there. And everybody started praying for the Singh Valley. Whenever Satan killed the missionaries or had people destroy him, ah, he lost out big, didn't he? So I think Satan caught on to that. He could have wiped us out, but he didn't. He wants us to just quietly leave. Make him want to go home. And you wonder why so many missionaries fail. You wonder why so many missionaries come home with sickness. And when they get home, they can't find a whole lot wrong with him. And what is that crave? I've asked missionaries on furlough. I said, hey, now, if you really had a good way to get out of this whole thing, wouldn't you get out of it? And the guy says, yes, but I can't. And because he makes us want to go home, unless we understand what the victory is, the victory in Jesus Christ. And I'm so glad to come here this week to share with you what happened. What happened? You know, that boy finally drove me to a nervous breakdown. Well, I had not a full-fledged nervous breakdown close to it. I had to make a choice. I was so tempted to just let him die, not treat him anymore. I wouldn't have to do anything. My wife would never know. Nobody would ever know. Just God and me. And I'm so glad I let him live and treated the fellow. And it meant that I was a nervous wreck by the end of my first term. Fire-arm tranquilizers and so on. And friends, I'm thrilled today that I let him live because I wouldn't. I'd have to live with my conscience the rest of my day. You know, when we moved to that other village, Satan just knocked him off just like that. He was through with that boy and ruining the missionary's life. And so Satan said, well, I'm not going to let him live any. He drowned in the river. Just very soon after we moved to another village. And we had no way to help him. We had no victory over this thing. We look for answers. And I searched the scripture. That's the way to start. What am I doing wrong? Where do I get answers? Where do I get victory? And I was still focused on Ephesians 6. So that's the first place I went to. There's the enemy in verse 12 with all those principalities and powers. And now how am I going to get victory? But it says, stand therefore. Now put on the armor. And I started looking at this. Lawrence, gird about with truth. You got to have on your girdle of truth. Well, I had been searching and I found Ephesians 5.18, be filled with the spirit and I didn't know what to do with it. Somehow I, it was never emphasized in the Baptist circles in which I was, I grew up in and I didn't know what to do. And I didn't know anything about the spirit filled life. Can you imagine a missionary in a country like here in Java, all this demonism, not being prepared to, to not, not knowing anything about being filled with the spirit. It was, it was unreal. And yet I didn't know the truth of these things. I'd read in James 4.7, resist the devil and he will flee from you. Oh, wouldn't that be nice if that verse was true? I'd been running from him. I remember how they chased me out of their villages. The apostle Paul seemed to do everything right. Remember there in one of those villages in Asia minor, how the, he was stoned. And what was it? Lystra, Derby, one of those places. He was stoned. And the next morning, what does he do? Would you have done what he did? No, you'd been smarter than that, wouldn't you? He went right back into the same village for more, not me. I mean, if I was chased out of a village by those tribesmen, I, I wouldn't go back. I was scriptural grounds. I shook off the dust from off my feet and I never went back. And there's more villages in that jungle where I'd never went more than once. And Paul did everything right. And I did everything wrong. It makes you feel sick. You know, it makes you dislike the apostle Paul's writing. Have you ever read a part of scripture and the more you read it, the more divorce you felt? He sings in jail. Would you have sang in that prison with a bleeding back in that dungeon? Whenever I got hurt, man, I'd be full of self-pity and, you know, complain. He did everything right. And I did it all wrong. One time, this demon-possessed lady goes screaming behind him on the road there and yell at him. And finally, he got tired of it. And he cast out the demon, makes a Christian out of her. Not me. I'd run. Hey, Paul had something I didn't have. And I started to have my devotion back here in scripture. There's a good portion back here in Exodus, the wilderness wanderings. They did everything wrong back there and made me feel good. I wasn't the only one. Do you ever feel that way? Ever feel in Romans 7, oh, the things that I wish I did, those I don't do. And the things that I wish I didn't do, those I do. I identified with that. Oh, wretched man that I am. Hey, that's not victory at all, is it? And I was searching. If only James 4, 7 was true, wouldn't that be terrific? We had a quarter mile track around our mission station. We used to jog. I wanted to keep in good shape so I could run when I need to. And here he says, resist the devil and he will flee from you. Wouldn't that be neat? I thought, oh, God, if only that verse was true. Hey, I got good news for you. They're all true. Do you believe that? They're all true. But I didn't know. I didn't have truth. Here he says, put on the girdle of truth. But I said, Lord, I thought I knew the book, but I guess I don't. Can't put that on when you haven't got it. Put on the breastplate of righteousness. I showed you yesterday how I was the problem, impure thoughts and no righteousness. Satan would remind me of it. God can't use you. If you haven't got righteousness, how can you put it on? So here I'm going to battle without a breastplate. The more I read into this passage, the worse it got. Put on the sandals of peace. Have your sandals on. How much peace do you think I had? Boy, I had more worry than I had peace. More anxiety. Here I am. So you're going to battle without any sandals on. Shield of faith. How much faith do you think I had? I had doubt. Lord can't use me. Believe Satan's lies. Didn't know it was him. No shield. How can you put it on if you haven't got it? Sword of the Spirit. I didn't know. I have the truth on the Holy Spirit. The Sword of the Spirit is the Word of God. And yet I shied away from any teaching on the Holy Spirit because I didn't want to go off to deep end on it. I sure didn't go off to deep end on it. But I didn't know what it meant. But the only part of the armor was the helmet. The helmet of salvation. Can you imagine me now? Picture me going to battle against all this demon possession. All I got is a helmet. No sword. No shield. No breastplate. Hey man, it gets pretty desperate. Satan points this out to me. Hey, you'll never make it. I knew I wouldn't. How Satan gets us focused in on the wrong scripture. Those of us that have done counseling know that so many come to us and they think they've committed the unpardonable sin and they zero in on scriptures that don't apply. And we have to turn and get them away from that and say, now look at these here. Satan knows the book and he defeated me. And I didn't realize what was happening. And I'll share with you tomorrow how other passages of scripture, God help me out to show that this Ephesians 6 is a good chapter if you get it in the right place, if you see where you're standing is in the gospel. But here he had me so defeated. I remember the end of that first term, second child was born. I used to rock that little baby girl when she was very young. My wife would never really recovered from having the child and never got strong. Unless you fix some food by the end of the day, my nerves are so gone emotionally. So shot that I couldn't, I couldn't even concentrate on reading the word of God. I don't know if you've ever been there. If you have, you know, you can't, it didn't speak to me anymore. And no, no strength from there. Prayer didn't seem to go any further than the ceiling. We were proving one thing. We're going to make it through one term. Hey man, how stubborn can you get? Make it through one term if that's got any, any value to it. But that's one thing we were going to prove. We said we'd never quit. We'd rather die than quit. We almost did. But you know, as I rocked a little girl, I had the one straw, the one thing between God and me that I hung on to was the song. No, no, any special song, but somehow that song, what a friend we have in Jesus. As I sang that rocking a little girl, the little baby, it somehow gave me the last bit of strength that I needed to make it through. Have we trials or temptations? Is there trouble anywhere? Man, the whole thing was a mess. We should never be discouraged. Man, I was suffering from depression. Take it to the Lord in prayer. The other day I came home from a meeting and that little girl, now 14 years old, I had been away and I hadn't heard what she'd been practicing, but she played it beautifully come ringing. I was upstairs and there the piano sounded. What a friend we have in Jesus. And in my office, I just knelt down. I said, God, this is more than I can take. You've been so good to me. I was down there when I sang that song, but look where I am now, teaching the victory to people all over the country. And there's that little girl now playing for you and playing the thing. God's good. God is merciful and gracious. He won't leave you down there. If you're down there this morning, hey, God's big enough. He'll pick you back up and he'll use your very weaknesses to become your strongest teaching points. And your greatest strengths will be learned out of your greatest weaknesses. And don't you complain, hey, God may be taking you through deep water sometime, but oh, he's right there to lift you up when you've learned your lesson. The quicker you learn, the faster he'll lift you. And that's encouraging. Well, I remember going home on furlough and we didn't want to go back. And we hoped that the churches wouldn't come up with enough support money so that we'd have a good way to cop out of it. And they came up with all of it. See, we still weren't ready to confess that we were failures. And on this reputation thing, we hadn't put our reputation on the altar. And so we were still very much, you know, we still were missionaries. You know, missionaries have furloughs and halos. And we were trying to keep that halo in place. And we blamed it all on the heathens and on the devil. And, you know, and they say they pray harder for us, right? I thought, man, they better pray real hard. You know, if we're going to make it again. We had to be back into Nanisha in one year. We hoped that visa would run out so we'd have a good, a solid excuse, cop out of the whole thing. And my wife got well again. We had tranquilizers and vitamins and a whole bit. And we got well again. And then there was no excuse. I said, Carol, don't get well so fast. You know, I mean, just hang in there, you know, sick. I mean, then it's all over. We didn't want to go back because we knew we were going, what we were going in. We still didn't have the answers. And then they came up with all the new washing machine, new generators, all the motors that I said wouldn't work, stoves and everything. They came up with all this gear. And I had more stuff that they could steal and more stuff to rust. And all the missionaries said, man, you must have rich supporters. I said, yeah, they sure are. I wish they weren't, I would say under my breath, you know. But we got back there. Oh, I was searching now. God, where is the answer? Writing down all the New Testament commandments somehow. Lord, you must show me answer. Came across these verses on resisting Satan, didn't know what to do with him. Ephesians 5, 18, be filled with the spirit, didn't know what to do with him. Searched and prayed and fasted and said, Lord, you've got to show me answer. My nerves were going downhill again two more years. So that was a total of seven years out there. And I quit my ministry and said to my wife, I said, I'm just going to find what God is trying to say. There must be. She said to me one day, if if what we have is all there is to Christianity, it isn't much. If what you have is all there is to Christianity, how much is Christianity? You know, because we see we're suffering from besetting sins and war and fear and problems. And man, Paul had all the victory and I had all the problems and I didn't even like Paul anymore. And, you know, then you read the books, how to be filled with the spirit. I read book after book and tried it all. I did what they said. Number one, two, three, right down the line. You know, I tried it three days later. I'd fall flat on my face in my old besetting sin. I thought I must not have it yet. I didn't know what I was thinking. Going to be perfect when I get spirit filled, I guess. Hey, and it worked for Torrey and didn't work for Coning, you know, and I thought, man, all these guys, I'm hopeless. You ever found that way? Man, there's just I just haven't got it. Must not be for Dutch people. Hey, I didn't know what to do. Finally, an MAF pilot brought me a book by Tim LaHaye, Spirit Controlled Temperament. Tim LaHaye has an unusual way of putting a handle on truth. He can get it so plain that you can understand it, or some of us can't understand it unless it's real, real plain. It says be being filled with the spirit. That's what it means. Continuously, every day, every time you sin, you confess it. You ask the Holy Spirit to fill you again. I thought it was some big second blessing that they talked about as being filled with baptism spirit and all that. It's every time you sin, you get cleansing. You surrender to God again. He asked him to fill you. I thought it looked so simple, but I ran to my office, got on my knees, and for the first time in my life, I realized that I was a spirit filled Christian because I confessed my sin, asked the Holy Spirit to fill me. He wants to do that to every one of us. And then when you sin again, get forgiveness and you can be filled again. The spirit-filled life is not like salvation. Salvation is once, but the spirit-filled life is daily, hourly. Whenever we sin, we lose it. And whenever we write with God, we ask him to fill us again. And when he's in control, then we're spirit-filled. I, amazing. I started to live a spirit-filled life in a demon-possessed jungle. Now that, you know what that produced? Spiritual warfare. Spiritual warfare doesn't go on in the heavenlies with angels fighting against demons. It's down here where spirit-filled people try to reach people who are controlled by Satan. Remember I said yesterday, we can't be spiritual neutral. We're either deceived by Satan or we're filled with the spirit. You say, what about a carnal Christian? Why isn't he spirit-filled? Because he's deceived. Satan thinks that it has shown him that it's better not to be spirit-filled. Otherwise, we all would be. We're either filled with the spirit or we're deceived in our minds and our thinking is controlled by Satan, to at least a certain extent. Friends, I found out what it was to be spiritual warfare. In my pineapple garden, there stood the chief that always read the garden, foaming at the mouth, screaming and yelling at me. The natives came running to the garden. They always want to see a good fight. To him, what did you do to him? Did you hit him? I just stood here. And then I sensed it. Now that I had learned what it was to walk a spirit-filled walk and live a spirit-filled life, hey, there was conflict between the demon-possessed man. He'd always been a very odd character, a very strange fellow, but he'd never had any problem with me until I changed. And when you are a spirit-filled person, they will be very, very ugly. The demon-possessed people will be angry. They will either run from you or they will challenge you or something. It'll be spiritual warfare. And I sensed that everywhere I go. I went to another village and they drew a line, these hardcore demon-possessed people. If you look at my display on the far, when you face the display on your left-hand side, the bottom picture, you'll see some of that glaring in the eyes of those tribesmen. And you'll see some of that demonic look that you see in their eyes, especially. And there they stood and they drew a line on the path with the back of their spear. And they said, John, we don't want you to come any further. We have no use for you in our village. If you step over this line, this spear will go through you. And I stood there, looked at that line and looked at the glare in those eyes of those men. And you say, well, now that our missionary was a spirit-filled Christian, he boldly leaped over. Oh, no, he didn't. Oh, no. He ran home, didn't preach that day. And I was convicted. I said, Lord, here, I'm a spirit-filled Christian. And I finally got with it. And I finally had now believed that you could use me. And look, it was a shame the way I ran. I still had that fear. And I sought for answers. I came after three weeks when that pilot had given me that book. He came back and I gave him back the book. And I said, brother, it's been a first time in my life that I realized what being filled with the spirit is. I can see it now. I can see my answer. You don't know how I've broked around here without knowing that. But I said, it's getting hot. The warfare is getting hot. I don't know if I can handle this. I mean, I had almost had a nervous breakdown there once. I mean, I came to the place where I said, Lord, maybe it's better not to be spirit-filled. And I think this is exactly where a lot of Christians in America back down. They've tried drawing closer to Christ at times. And it got too hot for them. And they've lapsed back into Sunday morning Christianity. They're going to get to heaven by the skin of their teeth. You know, they're saved. And that's just about all. But they can't afford to go further. They've tried it once. We've got to supply answers, folks, for these people. There are answers in Scripture. And I lived six weeks in that jungle, knowing what it was to live a spirit-filled life and not knowing what it was to resist Satan. And the pilot, when I gave him back the book, he was coming back in three weeks after that. And I said, this book has been such a blessing. He said, I've got another one. I said, well, bring it. I need everything I can get my hands on back here. And this is the book he brought, the book Dealing with the Devil by Dr. C.S. Lovett. Exactly on resisting Satan and he will flee from you. Puts it in such a way that you can get hold of it and you can apply it. And I just almost memorized that book and re-learned the verses that I needed to learn to deal with my fear and so on. Went on my way to a village that asked me to preach one day. Through the swamp we went. A young man, Nimrod, was with me, carried my pack. And as we went through this jungle, I tell you, that's something else. Swamp, the leeches get on your legs. The spiders are huge. I've seen spiders with their legs extended big as your face. The webs completely covering the path. Snakes on the ground. You have to watch down here for them. Snakes hanging on trees, dropping out of trees. I can't watch both places. It's impossible. There's some gnats that get around your eyes all the time. The pig flies bite you. The rodents, all kinds of smelly, soggy swamps, completely covered. Usually dark because the foliage is so thick. They cut through that. You fall off these slippery logs and you try to reach for something and you get a handful of thorns. So you learn not to do that pretty quick. You fall down in the mud. I had a big stick. Sometimes I carried two of them. They called me the old lady. They said, your feet are so dumb you can't even walk. I'm glad they called my feet dumb. That wasn't so bad. You know, but they said, you're so slow. You walk first. So they made me walk first. I should never have walked first. That's where I got in trouble. So he lets out a yell behind me. You dumb missionary. He called me everything. You know, they have a great, great vocabulary on the negative side. Oh, they don't. Very few words like love and faith. They have nothing on the positive side, but all these negative words. And he says, you're blind too. Look at the snake you've stepped over. You never saw him, did you? I didn't see him. I was struggling my way over roots and branches. And there was this big yellow snake. His head was in the swamp on one side, his head on the other, his tail on the other. I didn't know which end was which. There he lay. Big yellow snake, about this big around. One of them stricter types. He says, you dumb Tuan. Oh, you're so dumb. You did it now. I said, what? You crossed Ho Hoi's snake. Ho Hoi was a demon of the jungle, the evil spirits. He says, when you cross that snake, you will meet the evil spirits. You're so dumb. You shouldn't have done it. You're on the wrong side. I thought, man, I better kill this snake because I got to get him. He says, I'm going home. He says, I'm not going. And that's as far as I go. And he said, you want me to leave the pack here or carry it back home? I said, hey, you're not going. You can't leave me in this jungle. And I proceeded with my hardwood stick, just beat that snake. The snake was just moving around. If I'd only shown his belly, I could have killed him, maybe. But he's, they're tough on their back. I worked. And finally, he laid still after I'd. And I said, hey, he's dead. Come on, let's go. He says, it's even worse crossing a dead one. Oh, good night. I remembered now how they had always said to on when I boldly, I stood in their churches and preached and held my Bible up in the air like a real preacher does. And, you know, I said, look, Jesus is stronger than Satan. Jesus is stronger than, oh, you get Jesus in your heart. You won't have to be afraid of evil spirits. And they used to talk back at me and say, come on hunting with us sometime to on. Prove it to us. I wasn't excited to prove the scripture. I mean, I'd learned that in Bible school. That was theology. I wasn't going to stake my life on it. Now, would you stake? Hey, would you stake your life on the thing that you believe is true? Would you stake your life on everything God says in his book? You'd think twice, wouldn't you? I'd stand there and they used to talk back all the time. They say to on that's impossible. You know, and then women sit on one side and men on the other side. And they yell across the aisle. Preach at her to on. That's what she's been doing all week. You know, they go back. See, my husband does that to him. He does that. Oh, it was back and forth across the island to me. Constant communication in the services. But the women said, come and get saga with us. Come and gather food with us. Well, wait till those boys start beating you on the back. And you won't say your Jesus is stronger. And I'd always boldly say, oh, Jesus, you would have preached the same way, wouldn't you? Jesus is stronger than Satan. Now I had crossed the snake. You better believe it. I quick got caught up on my devotions. Then sometimes you really want to pray, don't you? You know, you ever been in a place where you really wanted to pray? Nothing could stop you from prayer, right? Most of the time, we're not that way. But sometimes we want to pray. Well, I wanted to pray bad. I'd crossed the snake. I thought I hope it isn't true. But, you know, Satan can make it happen. I've seen his open and overgiven. The things that Satan has them believing usually happen. He can make it happen. Oh, brother, I'd crossed that snake. I said, Nimrod, you got to go with me. And finally, I talked to make it making a detour and around you. And I'm sure that snake wasn't that long. He went away and they come out in front of me. He says, John, you, how can it be? We're going together and you crossed the snake and I didn't. I said, Nimrod, Jesus is stronger. And the more I tried to encourage him that Jesus is strong. He says, I hope what you're saying is true. Well, I hope the same thing, you know. And we went on and I pray and we went on and struggled through the swamp. And there was no canoe at the river. They said they'd put one there. We're going to this village. Never heard the gospel before. That's why the opposition. And finally, he said, oh, an hour down. I forgot now about the snake. My heart had quit pounding. And he said, I've got to relieve myself. I got to go to the bathroom. He says, you keep right on going. I'll catch up with you. Your feet are so slow. Always put on there that your feet are so slow. They never forget that. So he disappears in the jungle and I'm on. And here is Satan's perfect opportunity to get at me. I was alone as I walked there. All of a sudden, the screaming, blood curdling, screaming could only have come from people that were absolutely choking and dying. I mean, that kind of thing you hear on horror movies. Now, don't go and listen to them. Just listen to what I'm telling you. Believe me, it was that kind of just terrible screaming. I just froze. It was so near. The wall of the jungle was about that close and the thorns there. I couldn't see a thing. Never did see where it came from. I don't care to find out, really. But the noise was it just took me completely off my feet. My knees were shaking. I couldn't stand up. I leaned on my stick, which planted there in the muck. There was a log I was on was slowly sinking into the swamp. My heart was pounding. I couldn't last more than a few more seconds. I said, Lord, this is it. I thought I was going to die. I couldn't hardly breathe. That just overwhelmed the screaming sound. And what would you done? You pray, right? No time for long prayers in a situation like that. Like Peter, when he's sinking between the boat and Jesus walking on the water, he couldn't swim. Lord, save me. That's about all you got time for. Friends, I'm so thrilled that the Lord never leaves us, nor forsakes us. It's true. I think when Jesus went back to heaven and God sent the Holy Spirit in his place, it was a move that no man could have thought of. We can all go to a different jungle today. And the Holy Spirit can be in every one of us and will be in every one of us. And he'll always be there. That's fantastic. Who could have designed such a plan? It's a master plan. We're never alone, no matter what swamp or jungle we're in. And he was right in me, filling me. Power of the darkness, screaming. So I cry out, Lord, help me. And you know what the Lord says? Resist him, he'll flee from you. That's what I'd learned in this, you know, what the Bible had taught, and what Lovett had explained in this book. Resist him. And you know what I said? Lord, you do it for me. I have no experience. What do you think he did? He said, get at it. That's right. I'm trying to give you some experience. Now, you're not going to argue with God when you're sinking into a swamp with the demons screaming at you. I mean, you forget about whether you're Baptist or Methodist or Presbyterian or what. You don't argue. You throw all your theology out the window. You're trying to survive. You say, God, whatever you say, I'll do it. Sometimes we really want to obey, don't we? And I'm supposed to resist him. So I said, what language am I supposed to use? I didn't know. What language does Satan and his demons speak? You ever thought of that? I said, ho hoi, Satan. Should I use Dutch? They probably wouldn't know Dutch. Should I use English? Should I use, how are you, Indonesian? But I said, ho hoi, Satan, whoever you are in Jesus' name. Oh, that name. In Jesus' name, leave me alone. I command you. And then I'm supposed to quote scripture, you know. Jesus quoted scripture when he resisted Satan. I can hardly get the right verse in front of you guys, let alone. But God helped me there. He gave me that verse, for greater is he that is in you than he that is in the world. And I shouted that at the noise. And as I shouted that verse, the noise stops. Never heard it again. Usually when I'm scared, I shake 10 minutes later, but not that time. The joy of the Lord overwhelmed me on that trail. I got on another log. And, and I, I couldn't believe it. And I, it works, friends, the power of Jesus' name. But I thought I couldn't make it work. See, I was still a victim to Satan, victim of worrying and victim of fear and impure thoughts. And I was so weak a Christian. Certainly I couldn't resist the devil. Oh, but it isn't the strength of the Christian that wins the victory. Otherwise, none of us would have a chance. It's the power of Jesus' name. That's it. It's what he accomplished on that cross. What that name stands for as he lifted up King of Kings and Lord of Lords, seated at the right hand of God, far above all the principalities and powers. That's the name. And I don't care how long you've been a Christian or how strong you are, how weak you are. You can use that name too. And it's always good. And I composed this song on the way in that jungle. It was a song about resisting Satan. We won't go your way anymore. We won't listen to your voice anymore. We won't sit by your fire. We won't go to your rails. I'm going Jesus' way. I'll listen to his voice. And now those natives in the tribes there and those churches singing that song. And sometimes when I hear them afar off, I hear them singing. Can you imagine them? They're singing it boldly. We resist you, Satan. We don't listen to you anymore. We used to listen to you, but no more. We're going Jesus' way. They're singing that song. Can you imagine the demons in the jungle? You know, near the church. Can you imagine them listening to the people that they so control totally? It must make them sick. I hope it does. But you know, it sure must make Jesus glad. No, it makes the missionary glad to hear that kind of thing.