Mike Bickle discusses Peter's spiritual crisis, emphasizing the tension between Peter's sincere love for Jesus and his weak flesh, which led to his denial of Christ. Bickle highlights how Jesus' response to Peter's failure was one of compassion and restoration, illustrating that even in our weaknesses, God enjoys us and desires a deep relationship with us. The sermon encourages believers to understand that their failures do not disqualify them from God's love and purpose, and that Jesus sees the genuine desire in their hearts despite their shortcomings.

Father, we thank you in the name of Jesus for the word of God, and I ask you for the spirit of wisdom and revelation. I ask you for the breaking in of your power upon the human heart. Lord, I ask that you would surprise us. I ask that you would surprise us in this room, the way that you would break in and touch us and tenderize our spirit. In Jesus' name, amen. Well, tonight I wanna talk on intimacy with Jesus, and I wanna describe Peter's spiritual crisis in his life. Now, we all know the apostle Peter is a picture of strength and stability spiritually, but Peter went through a huge crisis in his early life, in his early days. I wanna describe that and how the Lord caused him to recover from it, because the Lord intervened and helped him recover from shame. And the reason the story is recorded is because in the way that the Lord intervened, I mean, he appeared to Peter and helped him recover from shame, is a picture of how he wants us to receive his ministry to us. Now, he won't necessarily appear like he did to Peter, but he's saying through this story, this is what I'm saying to you. I put it in the Bible so that you would know this is what I'm thinking. This is what I'm feeling when you're in the same crisis of failure. Matthew 16, we'll begin there with Peter's revelation of who Jesus was. And Peter's excited, and the Lord calls him the rock, the stable one, but after this naming, the Lord names him the stable one, the rock in this passage we'll look at in a moment. But he's going to be opposite of the rock, but the Lord's going to then cause him to recover. Matthew 16, verse 13, the Lord asks, he's got the disciples, they're standing around a fire, I guess, they're having a kind of a discussion time. And he said, I got a question for you, verse 13. Who do people say I am? He goes, you're out and about. What do people say about me? Verse 14, they said, well, some people think you're John the Baptist raised from the dead. Others think you're Elijah. Others think you're Jeremiah. Now, John the Baptist was the fiery holiness preacher. So when they heard Jesus, these people said, we think he's that fiery holiness preacher like John. And Jesus could have said, well, that's true. I am a fiery holiness preacher. That's insightful. Another guy says, no, they don't see you that way. They see you like Elijah, the signs and wonders prophet that confronts the powers of darkness. Because they saw Jesus cast out demons and raised people from the dead. Jesus says, well, that's true too. I do that. Another guy says, no, the group I talk to, still in verse 14 here, they think you're Jeremiah. Now, Jeremiah was known as the weeping prophet. Jeremiah was the one known for his tenderness and his compassion. They said, when they see you, they think of a tender, compassionate man. Jesus goes, that's true too. And they gave other answers as well. And the point being that when people encountered Jesus, they had very different ideas as to who he was. Well, the same is true today in the kingdom of God. There are so many different backgrounds and so many different presentations of who Jesus is, that even in the body of Christ, there's so many ideas as to the truth about what his heart is like and the truth about his personality and what his mission really is about. So in verse 15, Jesus says, okay, let's make it more personal. Who do you say I am? Not who do the people say, who do you say that I am? When you think about me, and they're kind of surprised by this question. And then Simon Peter speaks out and said, you are the Christ. You are the son of the living God. And Jesus said to him, on this rock, I will build my church. And the gates of hell shall not prevail against it upon this rock of truth. And I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven and whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven. And whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven. So it's actually in this passage where verse 16, Simon receives the name Peter. Now, Peter was not the name he grew up with. The name he grew up with was Simon. The Lord says, you're Peter. That's a new name. And they were kind of, the apostolic team was, the apostolic company was like, okay, that's different. Your name's Peter, okay. Now we're used to that name, but that means the rock. So, you know, Peter might have, you know, put his chest out a little bit and said, well, thank you, Lord. You know, you're Simon, the rock, the strong one, the stable one, Peter. And so Simon was touched by this. And he said, upon the rock of the truth that you just gave, I'm gonna build my church and the gates of hell will not prevail against it. Paragraph A, now the foundation for the victorious church, before the Lord returns, here's good news. Before he returns, the church will have victory over the gates of hell, the gates of Hades and the gates of hell is the same thing. Meaning, right now we look at the church in our nation or across the nations, the gates of hell is clearly making a very dramatic influence inside of the church. Much of the church is living under the power of compromise and they're living with the work of the enemy in their life, diminishing their life. But the day is coming, Jesus said, it's not happened yet for 2000 years, but before the Lord returns, he says, I wanna promise you, this thing is gonna turn around and it will be normal for weak and broken people like us to have victory over the work of compromise and the work of Satan in their life. Verse 19, he says, I'm gonna give you the keys to the kingdom. In other words, you're gonna bind and loose. You're going to bind demons, you're gonna release power and there's other descriptions, I mean, other definitions of binding and loosing I won't get into right now. But the point is you're gonna operate in power and you're gonna have victory over the devil. But this whole thing is based upon one grand idea that you understand the truth about who I am. He said, who do you say that I am? Now that verse 15, not what do others say, not the denomination or the stream in the body of Christ that you grew up in, not what do they say, what does the Bible say about the personality of Jesus, about the mission of Jesus? Not what does religion say, what does the Bible say about him? Because that is what the church in victory will be built on, those truths. So individually, we wanna grasp those truths in our individual lives and we wanna proclaim those truths because we want victory and we want other people to have victory and the victory is gonna be based on understanding these things that Peter the Rock was just now beginning to understand. Paragraph C, now God created the human heart with the longing for the assurance that we are enjoyed by God. Now that's a big sentence, I'll say it again. You were created with a desire, a longing. You want to know God enjoys you. It's not enough that you know he loves you. Actually, that's not enough for you to live in a full victorious life. And the reason I say that's not enough, if you understand love the right way, it is enough. But most people understand love in kind of a casual limited way. More like Jesus stamped my passport forgiven. He loves me, he died for me. We'll sort it out when I get on the other side. Okay, he loves me, yeah, he's letting me in the kingdom. But there's more in his heart than that. There's more in his heart to that. He actually enjoys us and not just enjoys us after we mature, he actually enjoys us while we are maturing. Now, this is important to understand. Many believers understand this and many do not understand this. The idea of Jesus loving them in the general sense of stamping their passport, except that they go to heaven when they die, they sort of get that. But the idea that Jesus actually enjoys them right now, I mean, right now in their weakness and in their brokenness is a difficult thing for them to grasp. Now, the reason this is so critical is because we were created with a longing to need to know we're enjoyed, not just a little bit. We need to have the assurance that we are enjoyed. Now, when this touches you, the truth of what Jesus is really like, not just a fiery holiness preacher like John the Baptist, not just a miracle worker like Elijah, not just tender, all of those and more, but he actually enjoys us. When that touched my life a few years ago, and I certainly need to learn much more about that, it revolutionized my emotions. Because when we understand this, when we understand this, that he's smiling at us and likes us even while we're discovering our failure and weakness, we run to him instead of run from him when we stumble. Most believers that I know, I'm talking about over 30 years plus, when they think of stumbling and coming to Jesus, it's like, oh no, we're gonna have that kind of awkward week or month or year till my probation period runs out. Then maybe he'll forget about it and I'll kind of forget about it and then things will be back to business. That's not how it operates. He actually has such a emotional capacity that through the lens of grace, he actually enjoys us while we're maturing, not only after we mature. Now the devil wants to confuse us on this and he's done a very good job throughout church history. Because if we can think Jesus is exasperated and disgusted at us, we are not gonna open our spirit with eagerness to him. We're gonna go the other way. I mean, who wants to talk to somebody who's raging mad at them? I mean, nobody's looking forward to a conversation with somebody who's mad at them, especially if that somebody has all the power in the universe. Now they know they can't hide from him, but they just try to kind of get out of the mindset of their failure and just not think about it and hope it turns out good. But that's a really dangerous and unnecessary way to carry your heart in this life. Now paragraph E, our most sincere efforts. Now we all know this, but I just wanna say it. Our most sincere efforts to love God are flawed and they're fragile. I don't care who you are. The most anointed, mature woman of God, man of God, their efforts to love God are flawed. They're far from perfect in the absolute sense. The greatest lover of God is fragile. Their love is fragile. It's not that mature in the absolute sense, but it moves the heart of God. Now, one of our problems is that we have this image, this ideal of who this guy is, and mostly it's guys in the Bible or guys in biographies. Surely it's people that have already died. They're not still alive, because if we met them, we'd find out how weak and frail they were and it'd just totally pop our bubble and it would not be fun at all. We normally don't have heroes that are alive because they will disappoint us if we meet them. So our heroes are people from history. We read their biography and we have this ideal image of how awesome, and then we wanna be like them, which is right, that part's good. But then when we come up short, which we will come up short of that ideal, we just wanna run and hide, or worse than that, just quit. And I wanna expose some of that tonight in another messages on this Intimacy with Jesus series we're gonna be doing for some time. Paragraph F, I've already said it, but I wanna say it again. He enjoys us, not just after we mature and after we go to heaven and mature. Now, we all know, I mean, let's say it this way, it's not hard to believe, he enjoys us when we're in the perfect perfection of the resurrection and the age to come. I mean, here we are, no sin, radiant body, radiant countenance, the glory of God. Hi, Jesus. Hi, Mike, it's so good to be with you. Yes, it's good to be with you too. Now, we can all picture that. But the question is, when does he begin to enjoy you? Only then, I remember talking to some holiness preachers, and I like holiness preachers, but they had a view that was God's mostly mad or mostly sad when he relates to the church because the church is so unholy. And I asked them a question. I said is, they were troubled by this idea of God being glad, mostly glad. They said, that's really bad because it's gonna get people casual in their relationship with God. It's gonna make them, it's gonna make them casual in their relationship with God instead of careful, and they're gonna compromise more easily. I go, no, it's gonna have exact opposite. Not gonna make them casual, it's gonna make them confident because they will love the feeling of being with someone who's smiling at them instead of somebody who's scowling at them and frowning at them. They said, nah, we don't buy it. I said, that's fair. I said, is God ever glad, ever? And they said, well, I guess, technically, yes. I go, good. I go, is he ever glad at people? Or is he just angels and mountains? Is he ever glad about people? They said, well, they'd never thought about it. They go, I go, ever. Because I knew if they said ever, I had him because he never changes. So I said, ever. They go, well, yes. We know where you're taking this. You're gonna end up having him smiling at us and we're not going there. I go, okay, so he's glad at people, right, good. When is he glad at people? When? In heaven, this age or the age to come? In the age to come, okay, solid. We all agree that. But is he ever glad at somebody in this age? I suppose so. I was gaining a lot of ground with these guys. I go, okay, like Paul the Apostle, anybody? Well, yeah, so he is glad at some people in this age. Okay, good. I go, when does he become glad? Scale of one to 10 on maturity level. Is it eight? Is it seven? Is it nine? Four? Oh, it couldn't be four. Where does the smile break out on his face with a person in this age? Where's the number? And I said, come on, this is ridiculous. I go, no, no. And I'll tell you when the smile breaks out, when there's a yes in our spirit, when the intention of our heart is to obey him, even before that intention is fully walked out in maturity, that's when the smile breaks out on his face towards us. And that can happen from the day and the week we're born again, all the way through our life, we can feel that smile and not just wait for it one day in heaven. This will revolutionize a person's life because instead of being guarded when we go to him and negotiating, constantly trying to, negotiating meaning, if you forgive me this one more time, I won't do this. And if I don't get in trouble, I won't do that. People, when they go to him, they negotiate their relationship based on the idea that God's about to drop the hammer and smash them. So their interaction is mostly negotiation and begging rather than relating with confidence. Now that's why they don't like the Bible because the Bible is a record of how much trouble they're in instead of a love letter based on a confident relationship, it's a record of, it documents how bad they are and how much trouble they're in. That's what the Bible means to them. And when they read it, it's a little bit confusing anyway. So they go, why do I wanna read this document about how bad I am? I mean, it documents it, it just puts it black and white, it ain't there. But when they change the whole approach to how they view the personality of God, this is a letter, it's a love letter, the word of God, just as a revelation that's wooing us into a confident relationship. Then we wanna read it more because we wanna get another little piece of information that helps us feel the joy of that confidence. When two people are in love, just the simple phrases excite them when they give them to one another. The Bible begin is a gold mine or a diamond mine of these diamonds. And every time we read it, and I'm not stressing the every time part, but I mean, many, many times, sometimes I read it, it's just so boring and it's nothing. I mean, I understand that. But many times I'll read it and the Lord will give me a phrase or just another diamond from this diamond mine that lets me feel a little bit about what he feels about me. And when your relationship with him is confidence-based, based in confidence, this is exciting. You look forward to your next time to open up to see if something will inspire and touch and woo you and wow you, rather than dreading like, oh, no, tomorrow, that's right, it's my Bible reading time. Oh, brother, this is gonna be so boring because I'm just gonna find out how bad I am and I'm not gonna get it anyway. Half of what I read. That's because their relationship with God is based in condemnation instead of in confidence. And the whole picture of their relationship with God is eschewed by condemnation. Paragraph G. Now, many believers, they are paralyzed by the shame in their life. They're paralyzed by it. They love Jesus, they really do. But their record of failure is so long, they don't even have a thought of enjoying him because you can't enjoy him till you know he enjoys you. We tell people, oh, just come in the presence of God, enjoy it. You can't enjoy him except you are sure he enjoys you. I don't care how much of his presence is manifest. If you think he's mad when you're in it, you can't enjoy him. You enjoying him is dynamically related to what the Bible says about him enjoying you. When I know he enjoys me, then I'm eager. I'm eager to feel that more. I love to feel enjoyed. Now, I'm like you. I love to be loved. It is so cool to be loved. But instead of love, let's put enjoyed. And I tell you, when you come into his presence tonight, this last hour that we've been worshiping here, he is smiling. Well, he's smiling at the guy next to me, but not at me. I guarantee if you know what happened in the last hours, days, weeks, oh, he wasn't smiling at me. Well, did you repent of it? Did you come before him and agree with him that this is not what you wanna do? Yeah, I did that a hundred times. I promised him a hundred times and made deals with him, but I don't think he took me up on any of them. I think he's still mad. The reason I know about that, because that's how I did it for a few years. Then the Lord began to let me understand that when I sinned and I would agree with him in sincerity, this is not what I want. I wanna go a different direction. His smile, I could begin to feel his smile, and I had a right to feel his smile. It changed everything. Let's go to Roman numeral two, top of page two. Now, here's Peter's struggle. Most of you know it, so we can go through it pretty fast. This is at the Last Supper, right before the Garden of Gethsemane. Matthew 26, 31, Jesus is gonna go to the cross the next day. He said, all of you, all of you will be made to stumble because of me tonight. Meaning you're all going to, stumble means compromise. Tonight, all of you will compromise tonight. To stumble in this context means compromise. Peter said, verse 33, even of all these other guys, he goes, I get it with these guys, I get it. It's believable that they will. It's inconceivable that I will. He said, I will never, underline the word never, circle it, never, never, never, never, will I compromise, I love you so much. And his sincerity was real, but he was living in delusion about his maturity. And we all start that way. We all start with fiery, sincere love, and we feel the fire of sincere love in those early days, but we don't know the reality of our immaturity. And when our sincerity collides with our immaturity, it is a crisis. Because when my sincerity, I love you, I love you, hits my immaturity, I fail in my love, it's like, ah, because the devil says, you're a hypocrite, it's all false. The whole relationship is false. Your claim to love him is false, it's all false, just quit. It is a true crisis. When your hot, sincere devotion collides with your immaturity, you've got a big decision. Is he mad at you, or does he want you? Where's it at? On what terms? What does he feel? How does he think what's gonna happen to your life? Peter said in verse 33, I'll never stumble, never. I'm not gonna do it tonight. It's not gonna happen tonight. Now, he didn't mean, he had never, ever said in his life, but he says, I'm not, I love you so much. We just had the last supper. Oh, I love you, Jesus. And that was so dear to Jesus. But Peter was about to have the most, one of the most dramatic experiences of his life. Verse 34, Jesus said, Peter, I wanna tell you, before the rooster crows, you will stumble three times tonight. Three times, not once. The other guys will do it once, you'll do it three times as much. And Peter says, no, in essence, no. Lord, I know you're smart, I know you're right, but this one time, you're wrong. You yourself said I was the rock. This is Matthew 26, back in Matthew 16. Remember, you named me yourself the rock, the unmovable one, the one who doesn't stumble. Now, I think it's interesting that the rooster, which is just a picture of pride, the strutting rooster, that's the one that's gonna give the signal of what's happening in his spirit. Because we can have spiritual pride and still have deep, profound sincerity in our love. Having spiritual pride, meaning we're out of touch with our weakness and our failure, is not opposite of genuinely loving him. I know these two things well. I've had many times where my love was real, was not mature, but it was real, and I couldn't imagine that I would do wrong, and I did wrong, and it was shocking. I remember the time, I was just about 19, 20 years old, long time ago, when I said these words to the Lord. Said them a time or two cents, but it was a shocking, this one, I mean, I sinned, I did many sins, but I said, Lord, I remember saying this out loud, I was just shattered, maybe 18, 19 years old. And I said, Lord, can you believe it? I actually said those words. I've been talking about pride on steroids. I said, can you believe it? Then I paused, and I went, well, of course you can. And see, and I thought that because I was shocked, God was shocked. And the logical consequence is if God's shocked, he might rethink the entire relationship. But the truth is, he knew the worst about you on the front end when he called you and wanted you. He knew the worst you could do and still wanted you. He's not shocked. I was shocked. I said, can you believe it? I mean, I had total pride. I was shocked because I thought that this just could not be. And God was not shocked because I was shocked, so God wasn't renegotiating the relationship because there was no new information. Like new information came over the facts line in heaven. Bickle, sins, new information. Okay, the whole relationship is new now. Oh, no, this changes everything. Well, the truth is, the Lord could have said, hey, little guy, there's a whole lot more where that came from, wait and see. Meaning he was not shocked. He was not happy with that. But when I repent and renounce it and line up, his heart is pleased. He was smiling at me even in that day, even in my pride, because I was really warring against various issues in my life. Paragraph B, now what Peter did, he made a promise to not stumble. Now, what we wanna do in our spiritual pride, we wanna make vows and commitments that we will never do this, that, and the other. We promise to never do it as though these vows, these promises will bolster our confidence with God. Like if we really make them and we're sincere, the Lord will go, wow, in that case, I really love you. Now, we don't think about it that way, but that's what we're doing. We wanna bring something to the relationship that will motivate him not to back away from us. And he said, you can't do it. I have all the motive I need within my own personality. I have self-replenishing love. My love never ends. It just continually is full. When I love these million over here, I don't lose one measure of love towards you. Infinite love. I love you, Mike, because of who I am. I see your brokenness far beyond you do. You're safe with me. It's built on the fact of who I am. What I did on the cross, not who you are. This confidence, when I begin to get, this confidence begin to touch me in my early years, you know, 19, 20, 21, 22, because it grows over time, it begin to like cement dry in me, and I begin to get happy in my spirit. I begin to love the presence of God. Not just because it was wave after wave of glory, because I was eager to get another facet, another diamond from that diamond mind of the scripture, another facet of insight as to how much he liked me. And I loved it. I just loved him liking me. And so when other people didn't, I know I could take the Bible, get away and find a little phrase where he went, Mike, oh, Mike, I love you so much. I so enjoy you. You and me together forever. Oh, I would just love those feelings. Then my time would be up and I'd have to go do something. And I wanted to get back and read more because I was so obsessed with being liked. But God put that in your spirit. But if you've got a wrong image of Jesus, then it's opposite. Then you wanna stay away. If you've got an image he's mad at you, you don't wanna read that letter because it's only gonna document and prove how bad you are. But in the grace of God with the gift of righteousness, given to you as a gift with a yes in your spirit, I tell you, he enjoys you. And now the Bible's interesting if he enjoys you. The Bible is dreadful if you read it just to document how mad he is at you. Paragraph C, later on in the passage, just a few verses later in Matthew 26, we're still there. Jesus looked at Peter, James and John, and he said this to them. He said, pray, because temptation is about to overcome you. It's about to knock on your door. You know, it's when they fell asleep in the garden. He said, pray. And he gave this sentence. He goes, Peter, he's talking to Peter, James and John, but let's lock into Peter here. Peter, your spirit is willing, but your flesh is weak. Very significant description on how the heart of the redeemed operate in the grace of God. Two very important facets of the human heart that's established in the grace of God. He said, your spirit is willing, Peter. My guess is Peter went, whatever that means, good. Like, I'm more than willing. What do you mean willing? It sounds like I'm just a little junior high, you know, just starting out. Willing, okay, whatever. I'm more than that, but thank you, Jesus. And then Jesus said, but your flesh is weak. And Peter went, ah, bah humbug. He goes, here, you're bringing that thing up again. You said an hour ago that I'm gonna deny you tonight. This is only a couple of verses later. You know, it's an hour or two later. He goes, you're bringing that up again. I'm not, no, I'm not going to do it. How many times do I have to tell you, Jesus? I am not going to stumble. Paragraph D, because this description, we're gonna look at it in a minute, because this description is going to be very significant in Peter's recovery from shame after he denies the Lord. Luke 22, later on in the conversation, the Lord said, Simon, Simon, Satan has asked for you. Well, actually, this was a little bit earlier than in the Garden of Gethsemane. Simon, Simon, Satan has asked permission, it says in one translation, that he may sift you as wheat. Now, the reason you sift wheat is to expose the chaff, the bad stuff, so that the good stuff and the bad stuff become apparent. The wheat's the good, the chaff is the bad. You sift the wheat so the bad stuff, you can get rid of it. He goes, he's gonna sift you, and the bad is going to be apparent that's in you. But, you know, Peter's eyes are big going, Satan has asked permission? From who? From the Father to sift you. That's intense. But, verse 32, I prayed for you, that your faith would not fail. And when you've returned, you will strengthen your brothers. Now, this is interesting, there's paradox. He goes, your faith won't fail. Now, wait a second, my faith won't fail? You told me I was gonna stumble. Now, which is it, Jesus? Are you praying I won't fail? Does your prayer work? Yes, my prayer works. But you said I'm gonna stumble a little bit earlier. So, is your prayer do I go with, or do I go with your prophecy, I'm gonna stumble? And, of course, he answers both, because it's the definition. Because when we stumble today, our faith in the overall does not fail until we quit. See, when we stumble, the enemy wants to come and tell us it's hopeless so that we quit, it's when we quit that our faith fails. So, he was saying to Peter, when you stumble, I have prayed, and Jesus is gonna be the answer to his own prayer, because he's going to appear to Peter and cause him to recover. He said, I'm gonna pray that your stumble would not grow into a long-term failure, a giving up. Because a failure is a giving up in a long-term. A stumble is a compromise in a moment, or an hour, or a short period of time. The devil wants a short-term compromise to turn into a long-term giving up, that's what he meant. He said, you will return. Again, Peter, I make this personal, I go, return? That sounds like I'm gonna leave, I don't wanna return. I just, I don't ever wanna leave. What do you mean, return to you? You will return to me, you will stumble and return. So, it won't be a long-term failure, and I'm gonna supernaturally visit you and help you. And when you do return, here's what I want you to get. You're still in leadership over the brethren, because these brethren were the apostles. He was the leader of the apostles. He's not just gonna return, and then take up a job in the kingdom, he is gonna be the chief apostle. This is so filled with paradoxes. Why does the main guy, why do you want the main guy to be a guy who failed? I mean, if he failed, let's get rid of him, get a good guy in there. He said, well, Satan's coming after you. The chaff is gonna be exposed in your life. Don't worry, I've prayed. Your short-term compromise will not turn into long-term failure or quitting. You will return, because you will fail, you will stumble, and you will still have a leadership mandate after you return. I'm not, you're not disqualified from your calling in this crisis. So Peter is just like, I mean, I don't, maybe he didn't get it, because it was such a, you know, so much drama going on. But when I look at this, I think, oh my goodness, Satan, sift, fail, stumble, returned, still be in leadership. What a journey this is going to be. Well, it's a picture for you and me. Okay, paragraph E, now, Peter is set up for the great crisis in his young life, because he's a young man. Most commentators, scholars predict he's probably in his 20s, probably in his early 20s or mid-20s. So we know, Luke chapter 22, paragraph E, while he was speaking, now, this is, you know, it's a couple hours later, Jesus has been arrested. He's denied the Lord three times, the rooster crowed. Now, Jesus is going from one building to another building in the trial. He's in the high priest in the court, and when they're marching Jesus from one building to the other building, because there's a whole cluster of buildings, Peter's out in the courtyard, and he hears Peter saying, I don't know him. Then the rooster, da-da-da-da, and then Jesus looks as he's going from one building to the other building. Peter and Jesus lock eyes as Jesus is bound and being brought to another place of interrogation, and just for that one moment, going from building to building, they lock eyes, and the rooster's crowing, and Peter, no, and he's done it three times now. He's denied him in a several-hour period. It says in verse 62, he wept bitterly. We know this weeping, most of us in this room know this weeping, meaning he only wept bitterly because his love was real. His love was not mature, but his love was real. That's where the weeping came from. Peter was in such conflict, he was in such confusion, because now, paragraph eight, what does God feel about him right now? What is Jesus thinking about him? Now, what does Jesus think when you discover the weakness of your flesh? Because, see, we discover the weakness of our flesh little by little over years, and every time I see my flesh, it's painful when I discover how weak it is. That means I'm sinning, whether in speech or in other ways, in attitude as well as in actions, and the more light you get from the Holy Spirit, the more clear it is how weak our flesh is, because the standard gets higher, and you understand the truth about the light of the Holy Spirit, and so even the most mature apostle, Paul, had so much light, he saw how weak his flesh, because he had such insight into what really sin was, really what the measure was, but when you discover the weakness of your flesh, the critical question, what is Jesus thinking about you when you figure out you have weak flesh? Now, I don't mean just today, next year and next year and next year, because, again, even as you mature spiritually, the light will increase, so the standard of what he calls sin in your life increases as well. He's gonna be putting light on issues in your life in five and 10 years, you wouldn't even comprehend right now and you don't have to worry about it because the light's not shining on that area. He only wants you to respond according to the light he gives you. So Peter's weeping, but the bitter weeping was an expression, a statement of his genuine, not mature love, but real love, because our love is real even when it's not strong. Because weak love is not false love. Peter's love was weak, but it was real. Now it's three days later, Mark 16, several women go down to the tomb on Sunday, resurrection Sunday, they saw a young man, Mark 16, verse 5. This young man is an angel. This young man was clothed in a long, white, bright robe. And the young man said, or the angel said, verse 6, because it looked like a young man to them except for the bright clothing. He said, you seek Jesus of Nazareth. He's risen. And he tells a group of ladies, the first ones at the tomb, because they're the ones that believed. The guys didn't believe it. Even when they came back, they go, nah, that's too intense. Rose from the dead. Well, he said it over and over. Yeah, but it has to mean something else. The gals were there. They said, no, he means what he says. They went down there. Verse 7, the angel said, go tell the disciples and Peter that he's gonna visit you in Galilee like he said he would. Because they're in Jerusalem, so they have to go up to Galilee. You know, it's gonna take them some time to get up there. He says, he's gonna meet you up in Galilee. And so the angel says, go tell the disciples and Peter. So now the girls come back, knock on the door. They get in the kind of the hidden room, and they said, we saw an angel. Jesus is risen from the dead. I can imagine. Now, Peter's the only one that knows that he's denied the Lord three times, because they all scattered. Nobody knows the other guy's story yet. They're all been traumatized. Peter's the only one that knows that him and Jesus locked eyes when the rooster crowed. And Peter's like, oh, this is the most painful reality. So they're all talking, listening to the girls, and these ladies go, we saw an angel. Said Jesus rose from the dead. He's gonna meet you guys in Galilee. And Peter says, imaginary conversation. Peter said, did the angel say anything specific? Well, now that you mention it, the angel said, he's gonna appear to the disciples, but especially tell Peter. And the guys go, wow, Peter. And Peter goes, oh, no. Wait, he goes, I gotta get this. He said, especially tell me? Yeah, yeah, the angel was really earnest that you would be there. Like, oh, no, because the last time him and Jesus locked eyes, the rooster was crowing. And Peter, and they're all going, Peter, you're so dear and special. He's going, oh, you guys have no idea the story behind this story. Because Jesus and I are the only ones who know what happened. See, what happens, paragraph F, in the crisis of discovering our weak flesh. When we discover, because our love is real, but our weakness is real. The collision. Our love is real, and our weakness is real. And they collide together. And we're just in pain, because we're not sure how he feels. Like, if he really likes us, we're gonna make it. But if he doesn't, we're in big trouble more than anybody knows, because I really blew it. And it's what you think about him. Who do you say he is? It is the issue of that hour of your life. And of course, it's the issue many hours in our life is this issue comes to the forefront. Now, here's what a lot of people do. When they first meet the Lord, they set their heart. I'm gonna love you with all of my heart. I mean, many, many believers in those early days. I will love you. Nothing will get in the way. They have these tender times. They're 15, or 20, or 25 years old. They're 30. You know, I'm talking some of the older ones. Some of the younger ones, it's when you were in your teens. Some of the older ones, maybe you're 20s and 30s or whatever. It was years ago. You were gonna go for broke and nobody was gonna get in the way. And you had a vision. You were gonna touch him and be his. But then the weakness of your flesh came to light. You didn't know you got condemnation. You felt shame. You ran from him instead of to him. The devil whispers in your ear, you're just a hopeless hypocrite anyway. There is no future for you in being red hot for God. So you acclimate. It's what we do. We acclimate. We settle for a second class citizen status in the kingdom, meaning we'll hang around the fringes, but we don't have any hope of touching him and him being happy and it being deep. We gave that up with our failure. And the Lord says, you don't have to give that up. You don't have to give up the vision for a deep connection with me because you've seen your weakness. See, and that's what Peter did. He gave up his vision. We'll see in a moment. And some people say, well, and I get this. I really do understand this. The pain of reaching for this deep connect and failing and he's upset at me and I hate myself for it. That pain is so great. I'd rather lower the standard, lower the expectation, and just get used to a second class relationship with the Lord because I don't go very, I don't connect with him, but I don't have the pain of failure. You know, you've heard the phrase out in poetry land that is it, I hope I say it right, is it better to love and lose or not love at all? And spiritually, people think, you know, the pain of losing at love with God is so great, I'd rather give up on pressing. I don't wanna press in and just constantly failure. I'm not gonna get there anyway. So just let the youth group go deep with God. You know, it's too late for me. Yeah, but you're 20, you're 30, you're 40. Is that too late for you? Yes, it is. So would you rather love and lose or not love at all? Well, in the natural, maybe I'll take a chance at it, but in the spirit, I'm not gonna keep reaching and failing. The pain's too great. I'm gonna conclude. I'm just a second class citizen in the kingdom and hope that when I meet Jesus on the last day, it all sorts out. Let's go to top of page three. We won't do all of this, just kinda bring this to an end. We're in John 21 now, the rest of the story. So now they're up in Galilee. It's eight days after the resurrection. It's eight days later. So they walked up to Galilee. Took them a couple days to get up there. It's up north, Jerusalem's down to south. Peter says, they're at the Sea of Galilee. Peter says in John 21, verse three, I'm going fishing. I'm going fishing. That's a huge statement. And I'll tell you why in a minute. And that night, they caught nothing. But in the morning, Jesus came. And now Jesus and Peter, the resurrected Jesus is up in Galilee like he said, I'll meet you in Galilee. Now Jesus and Peter are going to have their first conversation, personal conversation. They haven't talked yet. So Peter's eight days later. He says, I'm going fishing. What does it mean? What does Peter mean, I'm going fishing? Now he's not fishing for money. He's not fishing because they lacked a little money. Because they had plenty of money. They had so much money that Judas a week earlier could steal it and they didn't even know it was gone. They still got plenty of money. They got money for a few months at least, I'm sure. Or assume it. Money was not the issue. He's not fishing for recreation. He's not taking an afternoon fishing trip. They fished all night. This was not about an afternoon Sunday afternoon fish. What is he doing? He went up north back home in Galilee to start the family business. He's changing occupations. He's giving up on being a leader. He's giving up right here. The very thing that Jesus said, I'll pray you won't do. He's doing it. He went and got the boats to start the business again. It's a huge statement. Paragraph B, he's resigning as an apostle. And he's gonna return to the occupation he could succeed at before Jesus, before he met Jesus. I mean, his heart's in pain. For him to go fishing, he's gonna leave all of his promises with God behind. But he has this remembrance. Jesus said, you will return. You'll stumble, you'll return. You won't fail, you won't give up. I will interfere and you will lead your brothers. You will strengthen them, meaning you're still gonna be in leadership. And Peter's going, no, no, no, no, that's, I love his heart. Jesus has got such a good heart. It's not gonna work that way. He is giving up. And there's many who hit the wall and they give up their promises. They give up their mandate in God and they don't give it up because they don't love Jesus because they don't care about their mandate. They give up because they say, if I can't stay faithful, Peter's saying, before this little servant girl, he denied Jesus. He goes, if I can't even be faithful before a little servant girl, how am I gonna be faithful for years as a leader? I don't even wanna face this again. This was so painful, I don't ever wanna face it. Paragraph C, his heart was wounded by his failure. He felt he disappointed Jesus. When he was going fishing, he was picking out the spiritual comfort zone. He wanted to find a place where he kept his salvation, still in the kingdom, but he's not reaching for the fullness anymore of God's purpose for his life. Many people have acclimated, not because they don't love God, because the pain of the shame is so great, they acclimate, they live numb spiritually. But they don't have to, because they have a wrong idea of Jesus. Because when Jesus said to them in the first passage I read, who do you say that I am? They say, you are kind of mean. Well, not really, Jesus. I mean, I know you're not, you love me, but you're kind of mean or something. I don't know who you are, but I know you can't like me right now, that I'm sure of. They have a wrong idea of who he is. Roman number four, John 15. So now the conversation begins. This is their first conversation after the failure. John 21 verse 15, Jesus said to Simon, which is Peter, Simon's his family, I mean, the name he grew up with, Simon, do you love me more than these? He's not saying more than these other men. He didn't say, do you love me more than these guys? Peter already went that route. He goes, no, no, no, no, I'm not the hush. No, no, no, Peter's not even thinking that. Peter says, do you love me more than these? He points to the ground, says, do you love me more than the safety zone? Will you give this up and believe me to want you, believe me to visit you, believe me to receive you? Will you do that? And Peter said, yes, Lord. I mean, yeah, I love you more than fishing. Like Peter's fishing. He's got the whole boat and the whole crew going. He's like, oh no, the Lord's coming. He caught me resigned and on a whole new occupation I already set up. That's despair, by the way. It's a fun story, but it is despair. The man is in serious despair. Some of you are in that temptation of despair tonight. You haven't fully given in to it, but you're close to just giving up on the vision to go deep because of what you did last week, last month, last year, last night, for real. But I tell you, you don't have to give up. Verse 16, he said to Peter a second time, do you love me? And Peter said to Jesus, yes, yeah, of course I love you. He said, tend my sheep. In other words, stay in leadership, stay in leadership. I don't wanna stay in leadership. If I stay in leadership, that means I gotta reach for you and connect with you and I gotta face my failure. No, no, no, I don't wanna do that go deep with you thing because I can't make it work. He said, stay in a place where you're reaching in God for power and wisdom to affect people. Oh, I don't know. Why don't I just give and let the other guys affect people? I'll get a big boat business and fish business and I'll help the other guys. I'll give to the youth group. He goes, no, this isn't talking about public preaching. Just take care of people, which means you gotta have a vibrant spirit because you gotta reach into God. You can't take care of people when you're consumed with your failure. You got a spirit of rejection and failure. It is so hard to be bothered with people. This is like intrusive, like put paws on my own pain and take care of others. Are you kidding? No, I'll just give to him. I'll make money and give to him. Verse 17, Jesus said to him the third time, do you love me? And Peter was grieved like, oh, why do you keep asking me this question? You're killing me. This is the third time. And of course, there's three denials. So there's three questions because Jesus is breaking the shame off of him for the three times he denied him. That's what's going on here. And Peter said to the Lord, now this is the critical point. You know everything. You know everything about my heart. And you know that I love you. What Peter, what Jesus is making Peter do. Now, Jesus knows the answer. When God asks a question, it's not because God needs information, it's because we need information. You know, when the Lord said to Adam in the garden, Adam, where are you? He wasn't saying, Adam, where did you go this time? Hey, you little whippersnapper, get back here. He wasn't saying, Adam, I lost you. You're hiding. No, he didn't mean where are you geographically. He means, where are you relationally with me? And he wasn't asking Adam the question because God needed the info. He needed Adam to have the info of where he was with God. So when he says this to Peter, do you love me? He's not asking for Jesus' sake. Jesus is asking for Peter's sake. And so I could just picture it. First conversation. Hi, Peter. Ooh, there's all the eight guys around. There's eight or nine of them there. Hi, Lord, I love you, I love you, I love you. Peter, Peter, look me in the eyes. I love, yeah, oh, man. And all the guys are going, this is awesome. And like, well, you guys haven't really fessed up to what happened that night. This isn't that great right now. And Jesus is looking him right in the eyes. I can see Peter looking down. And he said, Peter, do you love me? And he takes Peter's chin, lifts it up to his eyes. He goes, Peter, tell me. Yeah, because everything in Peter's screaming. You hopeless hypocrite. You don't love God. You're a failure. He goes, I love you. Yeah, of course I love you. Like that hurts me so much. Oh, man, I'm glad I'm through that. Minute later, Peter. Yeah, yeah, Lord. Look me in the eyes. Oh, say it with your mouth. Do you love me, Peter? I love you. Yes, I love you. Peter, let me explain something to you. Remember a week or so ago? Because it's been about 10 days now. Remember when I was in the garden with you? Yeah, and I told you you had weak flesh, but a willing spirit. Yeah, I didn't have any idea what that meant. Well, you didn't believe you had a weak flesh, but now you do. But you didn't understand when I said you had willing spirit, but now you have to grasp it. You have a yes in your spirit. Peter, you've always had a yes in your spirit towards me since we've known each other. Your yes, I see it. You do love me, Peter. I see that love in your spirit towards me. Yes, your flesh is weak, and you didn't get that, but now your bigger problem is you don't believe your love is sincere. You do love me, Peter. Look at me. Do you love me? And the third time, he said, Lord, you know everything about my heart. You know I have a willing spirit. You know my love is real. He goes, yes, I love you. And the shame is broken off of him. And he's established back in confidence with God again in love. Now, end with this. God's, Peter's confidence was injured. His confidence in love. And what I mean by confidence in love, it's two things. Number one, he has confidence Jesus enjoys him. He goes, this is real, isn't it? Even with my failure, yes. But there's a second thing. He has confidence, Peter does, that his love, though weak, is real, and God sees it as real. So he has confidence that Jesus loves him, and he has confidence that Jesus esteems his weak love as real love. And he says, yes, yes, you love me. I love you. I can do this thing. And Peter is restored, and about five weeks later on the day of Pentecost, he is bold in leadership, and he's in confidence, and the shame and the failure is a part of his history, but it's not in the way in his emotions anymore. And the Lord's looking at us right now, and he says, I gave you that story in the Gospels so that you know how I will relate to you when you fail like Peter did. And though you see the weakness of your flesh, you also understand I see the yes in your spirit. You do have a willing spirit. Let's stand.