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  FAMILY CLINIC.2
  by Gbile Akanni
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Summary: Gbile Akanni teaches that Christian marriage is a divine
partnership where husband and wife must cooperate fully as priests of
the Lord to achieve spiritual health and ministry success.

Duration: 1:21:36 Topics: "Christian Marriage", "Spiritual Partnership"
Scripture References: Ecclesiastes 4:9-12, Matthew 18:19, Genesis 2:21-23, Proverbs 18:22, Ephesians 5:25

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DESCRIPTION
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In this teaching titled "Family Clinic.2," Gbile Akanni explores the
biblical foundation and spiritual significance of Christian marriage. He
emphasizes the importance of cooperation, mutual support, and shared
ministry between husband and wife as priests of the Lord. Drawing from
Ecclesiastes 4:9-12, Akanni challenges believers to cultivate healthy
homes that contribute to vibrant churches and effective ministry. This
sermon offers practical insights for couples seeking to fulfill God's
design for marriage and family life.

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CONTENT
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Living Seed Media brings to you God's Word, which is his comprehensive
equipment for changing lives. May the Lord impact your heart as you
encounter his Word. For further enquiry or counsel, contact Peace House,
PO Box 971, Boko, Benue State, Nigeria.

Telephone numbers 0703 03636 59 0703 76811 98 Email address
lsmediaatlivingseed.org or visit our website at www.livingseed.org Let
us sit back and listen as the servant of God brings forth the Word of
Life. Father in, we thank you for your dealing with us. Since morning to
this hour, we plead once more that you will have your way in our lives.

Have your way in our families. Have your way in your church. Have your
way in Nigeria.

Have your way in Africa. Thank you for hearing us. In Jesus name, we
pray.

Somehow, it occurs to me that the health of your church depends on the
health of the members of the church. If you have healthy homes, homes
that are spiritually healthy, we will also have healthy churches. And
may God give us homes that are healthy.

Yesterday, we began to look at the contending for the faith in our home,
particularly as the priests of the Lord. And we were looking at the
gravity of our own matrimony beyond our personal convenience, beyond our
own personal pleasure, even though that is also very, very important to
God. But above that is that once you have entered into priesthood, your
marriage becomes a very critical aspect of what that ministry is going
to be.

So this afternoon, because of the shortness of space of time, we are
going to confine ourselves to discussing. I will bring out the outline
as we turn again to the book of Ecclesiastes chapter 4. Ecclesiastes
chapter 4. And we read it again and again as we kept looking at why does
God want them to be two? Why does God say it's not good for a man to be
alone? I will make a hell made for him. Why is it not good for us to run
alone? Why does God want, why did he institute the marriage estate? And
how do we make the most of it? So in Ecclesiastes chapter 4, from verse
9 down to verse 12, we have a passage that gives to us a four
dimensional matter for a Christian matrimony and the home of a priest.

And so I would like to highlight these four outlines, four issues, and
then through it for us to discuss and deal with contending for the faith
in these four dimensions. Two are better than one because they have a
good reward for their labor. For if they fall, the one will lift up his
fellow, but woe to him that is alone when he falls, for he has not
another to help him up.

Again, if two lie together, then they have heat, but how can one be warm
alone? And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him, and a
three-foot cord is not quickly broken. Now these four scenarios that the
scripture has painted of why God says it is not good for him to be
alone. I will make for him a help that is suitable for him.

I want us to discuss as practically as God will allow us this evening.
These four issues that the Holy Spirit has highlighted about why it is
not good for a man to be alone, and why God decided that I will make a
help made for him, and how that help was not another male. Why God did
not make them male and male, or female and female.

How do we engage our marriage, our matrimony as God's priests to achieve
verse 9, verse 10, verse 11, and verse 12? Because each of it was simply
elaborating on the fact that two are better than one. And that the
reward, the outcome of two that are combined together, particularly in
matrimony, the result of it is what we are outlining. And because there
are four issues, we are going to speak discreetly quickly on dealing
with each of them as much as we can, and then we shall move on.

Now, the first outline that I saw in that verse 9 says two are better
than one because they have a good outcome, a good reward, a good result,
a good output from their label. So, how do we contend in our home to
make sure that our two is actually better than one? How do we ensure
that it is no more my or hers, it is their? God sees the work of God
that he has called us to do as our. So, I now discover that if I will
not acknowledge and engage, I want to use the word engage, and draw what
God has put in her to make what he has called me to do complete, I am
doing damage to myself and to the work of God.

So, I now saw that when God said he took the rib from the man and made
it into a woman, and I saw that okay, if she is not here, something will
be incomplete, something will be deficient, something will not meet
God's standard for my life and ministry. Once that became clear to me as
a person now, I just knew I need to settle down. I need to make sure
that we go together.

She must agree with me over anything that we want to do. And of course,
since I now read the Bible, it says if two of you will agree as touching
anything that they will ask, ah, sometimes I beg for her to agree with
me. If she says no, I know I can't go anywhere.

Even though I'm a man, I'm the master, I'm like this, but when she says,
uh-uh, uh-uh, even when I kneel down and say, oh Lord, oh Lord, God
said, he said, uh-uh, go back again. And to be honest, it has paid off.
It is a great blessing for the two to work together.

I just want to share that with you before we go ahead. To say that
brothers, not engaging your wife, not letting her stand with you fully,
you are incomplete. And you are robbing God all that your ministry could
have become.

I know you are sweating, you are working hard. But that input of her, I
don't know how to rate it. If she did not contribute it, my dear
brother, what you are doing may look good, but everyone is saying it's
incomplete and it's not good enough.

We need to agree with that so that we agree together, we engage. And you
know the next thing that I had to discover? I discovered that sometimes
you have a wife that God has equipped for your life and for your
ministry, but you are running up and down looking for help here and
there. Some of us, we seem to believe in other people than our wives.

Some of us, we think that that church secretary is a better, is a faster
thinker than the woman God gave you. It's not true. It's not true.

I wish you would settle down and say, Lord, help me to unpack what you
have packaged in this woman for us to run together. I'm hoping that by
the time we end this, you will honestly hold your wife. I know you call
her darling, darling.

I wonder whether she's honestly a darling. You see, you know, they use
those words. It didn't mean much to people.

Darling, darling, darling. When I began to understand that, you see,
it's not the words of darling, darling, darling, darling. It is that
here is someone who is there and who, without which I would suffer
damage.

This is someone that without our input, I will continue to run. They
will say, he almost made it. They say, ah, that man is working hard.

He almost made it. Why is it that he's almost? It's because the person
that can bring the uttermost has not been added. We need to understand
that.

And when that settled, I just realized that now whatever I can do to
release her, even if I have to, you know the Bible says, you will
nourish her in order to cherish her. I found that there is a minimum
investment that a husband must put into the wife in order to release
her. There is something that God expects you to do to your wife in order
to bring her out.

Which if you don't do, she might look dormant. And this reward we are
talking about may not come out. Some of these things that needed to be
done, it might just be that Bible says, like Jesus said, He sanctifies
her by the washing of water by the Word.

Sometimes, you know, our wives are wonderful. They're only waiting to be
fine-tuned. Just tune them on.

Many women are not confident of what they have until you assure them.
But one of the biggest mistakes that many brothers, husbands have made,
is to be very, very conclusive about their wives. If they do this, you
don't even know how to do anything.

When you keep saying she doesn't know how to, are you getting me? The
trouble is that she loses whatever confidence she has and she settles
back in. I say, well, I don't know. I don't know anything.

Sometimes your wife, you have to prop her proper to lead prayer. And you
know that as soon as she finishes leading that prayer, the first thing
she wanted is not the commendation from the church members. It's yours.

She wanted to hear, how did I make it? Then you say something like,
well, that simple word, well, you don't know what that's done to your
wife. It has finished her, punctured her, and sent her back into the
shell. Next time, I don't know how to do it.

The reason why this is important is because God made them so. Do you
know that when your wife has gone to make her hair, when she goes to
make her hair, am I communicating? Do you know that the greatest
commendation needed is not from anyone else. It's from who? So when she
comes back, she will deliberately remove the hair.

It will remove it. And is expecting, do you know what the woman is
expecting for you to put your hand on it and say, ah, ah, this is good.
But man of God, I know you are too busy.

You don't have eyes to see such things. You are always in the spirit. So
you see, you don't understand that the things that a woman needs to
release her, to become very, very, very actively involved in everything
you are doing, you are the one to unleash it first.

As soon as Adam saw the woman, she said, this is now bone of my bones,
flesh of my flesh. She shall be called woman. You are the one to cause
something forth out of her.

If you don't, she will just be sitting down there as if she doesn't know
what to do. Can we agree together that for these two to be better than
one, I, as the husband, I have the responsibility of releasing her, of
giving her an identity, calling forth grace in her, and enduring even
her first attempts that may be wastages. Are you getting what I'm
saying? I must not be telling you our secrets, but I know since the day
we got married, that's when I went to Baba last.

I've never gone to the Baba since we got married. She is my Baba. You
see that? Yes, you see, I have to tell them.

These are the things she does to me, you know. I had to leave my heir
for her to make experiment with it. And she did it so well.

For 34 years, she has kept this heir for me. I don't know how much Baba
has charged. No.

All the clothes, she's the one that negotiates and arranges the tailor.
I don't know any tailor again. You see, so when we're talking about this
marriage, the extent to which God wants it to become a blessing to us,
let's be very, very open.

Don't waste that grace that God has given you in your wife. He said, who
so ever finds a wife, finds a good thing, and has obtained what? Favor.
It's a favor.

Pastor, your wife is your favor. Can you turn to her if she's there by
your side and say, look, I'm sorry, I've not been telling you this for
years. You are the favor that God has given me.

You will see how she will just put her head there because she's been
waiting for that all this while. Hallelujah. I don't know whether the
sisters are happy with me this afternoon.

All right. All right. Thank you very much.

Now, do you have anything to add to this before we jump out of this
point? Yes, go ahead quickly. For me, I know that just before we got
married, my wife and I agreed that our marriage must work. But actually
we didn't know exactly what that entails.

But we agreed that our marriage must work. And you see, once you know
what you want, you will know when you are not getting it. And I think
that that kept guiding us until we got to where we are now.

Looking at that text, I see the issue of companionship there and I also
see the aspect of cooperation. At first, between us, it was difficult
for me because I thought like everybody was commending me, you know, oh,
you did very well. But when my wife, if I see her fixing her eyes like
this, I know something is wrong.

Until I heard from her, I will not accept what any other person is
saying. So it was to me like she was always finding fault when everybody
was affirming what I was doing. Until one night, the Lord woke me up and
told me that, you know, that I brought her to fill a vacuum in your
life.

She is the help that he has packaged. And you know what? Since that day,
I woke her up that night and I said, darling, anything that you know
will help my life and help this ministry, I beg you, don't withhold it
from me. I beg her.

Because it was actually an eye opener. And you know, and that ended the
little, little frictions and things like that that used to come as a
result of her wanting to help me. And you know what? I opened myself up.

And that is the aspect of cooperation now. You know, the aspect of
friendship. I met her, my friend, as young as we were at that time.

And I saw her helping me, not just spiritually, but also academically.
She never went to the seminary with me when God called us fully into
full-time ministry and I had to go to the seminary. But every paper that
I produced in the seminary, she went through it.

And I can confidently say that she can speak as a theologian any day,
any time, up to this level. Because she went through it, edited every
paper that I did. She helped me in that aspect.

Then also, you know, in ministry, I discovered that even when I was
preaching, I maintained eye contact with her. You know, and then there
is a way, if I look at her face, then I'll know that I'm straying from
her face. I will know that I'm not connecting.

And that will, there is a way she will do it, you know. We have various
signals that we use. And that kept me on track.

Thank you. Sister, since you are here, we are not talking behind you.
Yes.

Hallelujah. I think what he has said shows that however competent a wife
is too, unless the husband is open to receive her help, it will be very
difficult for her to help him. Sister Sade talked about agreement.

One time I was studying the text on agreement. And I said, what does it
entail? Because is it just calling me to say let's agree? It's more than
that. That the matter of sin is excluded.

That the matter of secrecy between you is excluded. That on the matter
you want to agree on, you are fully agreed on the matter. It's critical
for agreement to work.

I've also seen that they were both naked. And they felt no shame. You
know, I've also found that as we worked together, ours is 37 years, and
as we worked together, I realized that there were times I wanted to back
out.

I wanted to say, since I'm tired, since he doesn't want, you bring this,
he said no. You bring this, he said no. Then he will go and hit rock, he
will come back and this, like this.

I said, just leave him, let him go. When he is tired, he will come. Then
God will tell me, why are you here? Why are you here? Why are you here?
You know, so you can't surrender.

I said, wife, what I'm seeing here is that I must know that I am not
just there. I am there. For this purpose.

For that purpose. Amen. To help him.

Thank you. Praise the Lord. That's our first point.

He said, the two, they have good reward for their labor. I must now add,
say, the two, they have good reward. They.

Common reward. If there's any credit that they are giving, it was a
common credit. Do you get what I'm saying? When they come and say, oh,
pastor, you have done so well, we praise God.

Hallelujah. And unconsciously, they may forget that your wife is around
and that she has walked. They say, madam.

And they go away. And as the husband, if you did not share that reward,
if you did not share that credit, you might be provoking your wife to
look for her own where she will be individually appreciated. And this
become a challenge to many homes.

There must be the principle of common reward. Where whatever reward
came, whatever applause came, whatever glory came, it's our glory. We
must speak of it as our.

Do you understand? There's nothing private again because we labor
together. Even though I am the one that is visible, she's the one that
is invisible. It is the invisible that made the visible visible.

When we share, we must share that glory. Let your wife not be struggling
to be known. Sometimes you are going for something and you are going,
going, going, going, going, going, they find chair for you.

And they are telling your wife, madam, please go and find anywhere,
somewhere, somewhere there. It is not correct. It's not good.

You need to teach even the church that they can't honor you and dishonor
her because you are one. Common reward. They have a great reward for
their labor.

These words, they, there must continue to mark our lives. We must do it
with children. Our children must keep knowing that whatever it is that
we did for them is for us.

We did it together. Let no child come and say, oh, my dad, there's no
dad like you. If not for you, I would have suffered in this house.

Don't let that boy go. Call him back. And say, no, no, no, no.

I didn't do it. It's mom that actually moved me to do it. Have you gone
to thank mommy for that? Say, ah, but I didn't see mommy in it.

She said, ah, she chose to hide in me. So go and thank her first before
I can accept your greeting. When you start teaching like that,
practically, your wife is rested.

Your wife is happy. Even if she sees in obscurity, she knows, I am not
neglected. I am not ignored.

And I am not lost. Praise the Lord. Can we go on? Or you have something
more to say on that? Okay.

Please, if you have questions, keep it. We are going to take questions.
We are moving to be sure we can deal with the four issues.

Number second. The second issue. For if they fall, the one will lift up
his fellow.

But woe to him that is alone when he falls, for he has not another to
help him up. Now, this is second aspect of why God has established our
marriage. Why it is not good for a man to be alone.

It is a woe to him that is alone when he falls because he does not have
anyone else to do what? To help him up. To lift him up. So we are going
to quickly discuss how do we walk as couples that actually we can
forestall a fall.

How do I relate with my wife in such a way that if I am about to fall,
she is there to lift me up and say, no, you won't fall here. And put me
back on my feet. How do I relate with her such that if she is about to
fall, I am there to say, no, you won't fall into that mistake.

You won't fall into this sin. You won't fall into this wrong decision.
No, no, no.

That's not it. And we are helping each other to keep going. I saw that
when God says it is not good for the man to be alone, God was already
thinking of how to make sure he never falls.

Part of the reason for your marriage is that God is never, never
expecting that you will ever fall. That by the by the grace of God that
the two of you are married, God is saying by the grace of God, I have
put someone by him that will make sure he doesn't fall. So, Sister
Shade, again, how do we pursue that in terms of helping each other not
to fall? Because, yes, we are talking about the enemy.

We are talking about traps. We are talking about things that the enemy
is putting in order to get you off course. How do we run a marriage that
actually achieves that in a practical way, you know, as a God's servant?
Yes, ma'am.

Again, the first thing coming to me here is that there is the
possibility of a fall. It's not that God wants us to fall, but it's
important to know that there is the possibility of a fall because there
is an enemy. Maybe, maybe lack of vigilance or whatever was what made
the first man and woman to fall, almost without knowing.

There is that possibility because we have an enemy. The serpent is still
alive. The serpent that beguiled the woman in those days is still alive.

What made the two of them to fall in those days is still alive. The
enemy is still alive. There is that possibility and it's important for
us to understand that as husband and wife.

No matter the height that we have attained, the devil doesn't fear any
height. There is that possibility. The Bible says be sober, be vigilant.

Jesus says watch, watch, watch. Be vigilant is because there is that
possibility of a fall. Preventing that because I see again marriage as a
preventive measure.

It's a common saying that prevention is always better than cure. It's
better to prevent a fall than to fall and try to amend it. Marriage is a
preventive measure against a fall.

Falling to sin, falling spirituality is not just falling to sin. It may
just be that this person is falling in spirituality. Falling grace you
know, something becomes lower than before.

It's not just falling to a sin. So, it's important for us to know that
marriage prevents a fall. Then, I discovered that for such an atmosphere
of being able to help if there is a fall.

Thank God the Bible says if they fall if not when it's not that you must
keep falling. It is if it happens. And for the help to lift up one
another to come there must be an atmosphere of friendship in the home.

If we are not friends and you do your thing and I do my thing by the
time you are falling I may not even know. Hey! I say, ah! You mean you
have fallen? What happened to you? We are not friends. But if we are
friends we will know we must be naked to each other.

The two of them were both naked and they were not ashamed. We must be
transparent to one another. Oh, today I'm feeling very low.

Please pray for me. That's something. We must not present ourselves as
that spiritual giant that can never fall.

We must you know flow freely with one another be transparent open up if
there is something a problem within the trouble don't let it be the fall
that will announce that something has gone down. It is important to know
that we are the ones that will first recognize our fall even before the
church members. Before a church member will know that you have not had
your quiet time for the past one week I'm sure your wife or your husband
will know about it.

So let's not hide anything so that a fall can be prevented. It is only
then that the one will lift up the other. And the last thing I would
like to say there is that especially for a woman if a woman will be able
to help her husband if there is a fall it means that woman must also be
standing firm on Christ.

She must not be a baby Christian. She must not be somebody that will be
begged before being spiritual. She must be firmly rooted in Christ and
in the word of God.

Because when they say one will lift up the other it's not just physical.
It may be a scripture that you share that will lift up that person.
That's true.

It may just be an experience that we have in Christ that may lift up the
person. So as a woman we must not be babies. Help us are not babies.

Help us must have enough strength commensurate with the man you have
come to help. Otherwise you can't help him. He will have to carry you.

He carry load of ministry and carry the wife. The burden becomes
multiplied. We must be able to share part of the burden in order to be
able to help our husbands.

Wow. Are you following this matter? The issue that has been raised now
is a very very practical matter. Let me first say to you that can you
not appreciate God putting somebody in your bosom who helps you up
before the public will begin to ridicule you.

Do you understand what I'm saying? Will you not see that God is merciful
that he is putting somebody within your your bosom so that ever before
anybody will begin to wash their mouth on your head God had used her to
help you up. That's the first thing. But for this to happen there need
to be that transparent nakedness.

Now we have seen that the fall we are talking about is not just falling
to sin. Falling to sin is one fall that we must labor to avoid. But
there is four.

A reduction in grace, a reduction in your prayer life, a reduction in
your consecration, a reduction in your dedication. Those falls it is the
accumulated falls that becomes the downfall. When I was looking at the
life of Samson I saw the problem.

Before he finally fell he had been falling. His Nazareth consecration
had been falling out little by little by little by little. And so we are
noting here that God's intention is that in our marriages the other
person is there to help you up.

It be a scripture and sometime scripture may not even come but she goes
on her knees and prays you up. And by the time she is traveling and say
to God my husband's message is no more Shah what is happening there is a
fall in the anointing. The Ultras is not just parabolating about Lord
what is going on? All of this.

God raises the other to help the other one up. One question I want to be
asking is what do you think I think the light is back. Okay.

What are you doing to help your husband not to fall? To help your wife
not to fall? So we are noting that God's intention is that we will be at
hand all the time will be sensitive. You know since I have never lived
with you I will never know the reduction of your prayer life. But your
wife who knew you said my husband what is happening to you? Now you are
waking up at 6.30 and I see you rushing rushing rushing you have not had
your quiet time.

A wife that has been with you who knew you used to wake up at 4 a.m.
before is the one that is able to say are you not being too busy? I
think something is falling apart. Only a husband that is close by knows
when your temperament is falling down. You are overreacting now.

Let's pray about it. What is making you you used to be more patient. I
was in the meeting when you were addressing your clergy.

The way I saw you flaring up with everything. I think you are tired. I
think you are getting exhausted.

Can you not take time off? Ever before it would become a scandal. Ever
before you would lose your temper and everybody would be saying look at
what the Lord Bishop was saying to us. He was even abusing me.

I don't understand him. If all of that would happen, she would have said
no. No, sir.

I think you are getting at you too much. Let's pray about it. It
requires intimacy.

And it requires friendship and commitment. For us to be able to fulfill
this second issue, which is very important, so I'm discovering that God
does not want your fall. Doesn't.

Now that you are at this height, God does, because your fall will be a
ridicule not only of you, to be a ridicule of the word of God. And many,
many will stumble at the law. This is why we have to work together on
this.

Now, may I note one more word. This is God saying this is why I'm
putting her here and putting him around you. Don't ever think that your
wife's critical eye is an empty criticism.

It's not a criticism. It's a passionate concern. An alertness.

Because she's the one that can see details that others cannot see. So,
she's the one that can see see. So, I think I need to say that it takes
a wife that is also growing, that is growing in Christ, to be sensitive
to slightest of all.

It takes a woman who also has a personal relationship with God, who
hears God, to help the husband. So, what do I do as a husband in order
to have this help from my wife? I must also labor to expose her to God.
I must encourage her in hearing God.

I must invest in her so that she can help me tomorrow. I must, if I'm in
position of training, I must train her. Now, we're talking here now
about how to study the Bible, how to get revelation from Scripture.

Do you think it is not necessary for you to sit with your wife and say,
let's look at how do we get something from the Bible? And you sit with
her and you study with her, and she begins to say, oh, thank God, even
as I'm reading my Bible, I can see more than before. It will help you
tomorrow. Because she would just say, you know, as I was praying, Isaiah
chapter 35 came to my heart.

And one verse just touched me. I thought I should share it with you. Are
you understanding? When she gets to that passage, you know that God is
dealing with that matter.

But if she says, I'm a novice, I say, my husband, you know me, I don't
know anything. Just interpret it for us. So these are issues.

Now, our brother is saying, what if we have a wife that appears more
spiritual than her husband? You want to ask that question before. So you
have said what is in his mind. A husband, a wife that appears to be more
spiritual, we know it happens.

We can't rule it out. How can that woman help her husband up? First, I
was going to say, that woman must first and foremost learn humility. The
Bible says, rebuke not an elder but entreat him as a father.

Your spirituality does not make you the head. So even in his carnality,
you must give him the honor that is due to him so that he can receive
your help. This is very important.

Smith Wigglesworth was a great preacher who God used in so, they call
him apostle of faith because when he preaches, he just preaches faith
and people are healed, people are delivered. But do you know that it was
his wife that taught him how to preach? The man was not yet converted
when the wife had met the Lord. And this man used to be a bully.

He would beat his wife. One day the woman went for a fellowship and this
man got drunk and locked the door and said she should go back to where
she is coming from. In winter, it was very painful and this woman just
found a way to stay inside the kitchen till the following morning.

But while the man woke up and was coming out waiting for a wife who
would be ready to fight, the woman simply apologized and said I'm sorry
for waking you. I should have been home before you sleep so I can
prepare your bed for you. I'm sorry.

It's just because I need to. We were praying. The man broke down.

I said what kind of thing has happened to you? I was waiting for a
fight. That's when the man began to give attention to the woman. He
became converted.

The woman was already a lay leader in the Methodist church where they
were attending. So when they would ask the man to come and lead Bible
reading, the man was trembling. She would teach him and say don't worry.

I will pray for you. I will stand behind you. You go and do it.

That's how this man became a preacher. I went to where this man
established his pulpit and I could tell you that he had great influence
upon the country. One day his wife died.

He cried. He said God, you know this woman is my backbone. If you take
her now, I am finished.

You must bring her back. So he prayed until God raised the wife. So the
question is that we can have women that are spiritual but out of
humility they can help their husband up.

But if as a woman you came and you are arrogantly telling your husband
how cannot he is, how he is not so spiritual and you wonder what he is
calling himself a pastor for. Whatever you get out of that statement is
your business. If he decides to give you some dirty slaps, it's your
own.

I don't know whether that's okay. My wife says it's okay. Baba, is it
okay? Alright.

You want to now add something? Your mic is there. Sister, I didn't
mention about forestalling a fall. I just want to underscore what she
said about not only that the wife must grow spiritually, the wife must
make it conducive for her husband to open up to her, especially when
there is a struggle on her side.

I know that my personality is different from his. Even though our
husbands look big, they are holding high positions, men are bending for
them, but a wife can frighten a husband. It's true.

Yes, and when he is struggling with a temptation to fall, he is afraid
of her reaction. And that fear can eventually lead him to fall because
he is afraid of your reaction when he opens up and tells you, this is
it. You are like this.

So I'm sleeping with a monster. My God. I remember years back, I mean I
didn't know, but when I was having my quiet time, God told me that I
needed to make it, to open up for my husband to be able to share even
his failures with me and difficulties, challenges with me because I'm
partially a perfectionist.

I want everything done properly and so on. I don't like to see mistakes
like that. But you have changed now.

Yes. I can see that. So that morning as I had my quiet time, God asked
me to do that.

So I woke him up and I said, President, I called him President, God was
just speaking to me, I am your wife. If you don't feel free to share
your struggles with me, where will you share it? I know you know I don't
want you to do the wrong things or to make mistakes, but if you don't
share it with me so that we can stand together, I will not reject you. I
will not talk about it.

I will help you. And he just got up and grabs me. Because you have
poured the balm of Gilead on a wound.

You see, sometimes there is someone around him that he cannot get rid of
and the person is pressing hard. If he is able to open up to his wife,
the first power of that person is broken over that husband. And then you
can stand and pray together and your husband will stand.

Amen. Thank you very much. Are you understanding this? These are very
important issues.

Sisters, can you please don't become a threat. Don't frighten your
husbands. Allow them to be free.

Let them come home and say, look, there is a counseling session with a
girl that almost made me to enter into something. Please pray for me.
Let the woman not say, who is that girl? Who is that girl? Tell me her
name so that I know how to handle her.

So that by the time we are entering church, she is there saying, leave
my husband alone. You are the one. If I see you near my husband again, I
will deal with you.

The whole of this church will know. You know, that's another problem.
And I just share with my wife in confidence so that she can pray with
me.

He has now gone to scatter everything. Next time, will he have boldness
to come home again? No. Even if he is boiling and he is struggling to
fall, he can come and tell you, you can stand together.

Wives, God will give you a large heart. You may not know that your
husbands, they are not as strong, they are not as bold as you are
thinking. They don't want their ego to be tampered with in your
presence.

That's why they are struggling. Some are keeping somebody somewhere. My
wife must know here.

But if you are so open, she knows everything and she knows when you are
down and she can stand with you, it will be a great blessing. I was
here. Yes.

Now, we are looking at, eh? You want us to take questions? Yes, yes,
yes. I'm just wanting the number three, which is very important.
Quickly.

Let me just rush into it. These men, they like it. Yes.

Again, if two lie together, then they have heat. But how can one be warm
alone? Did you hear the Bible there? That part of the reason for this
relationship is lying together and keeping warm. If you don't understand
the meaning of that, keeping warm, go and ask David.

You remember David? Even at old age, they said he was always feeling
cold and they went and got all form of blankets and nothing can keep him
warm. Until one of his old friends said, ah, my friend is feeling cold.
Ah, I know him.

Let's find a young girl who will be there. So this relationship has to
do with conjugal relationship, conjugal bed. They lie together so that
he can have warmth.

Sometimes the husband has gone preaching, preaching, preaching, and you
think he's in the spirit. But when he comes back, he's cold and he
needed a blanket. And that blanket is the wife.

And unfortunately, sometimes wives say, I'm very tired. I'm tired. That
language, I'm tired, is almost a chorus.

And the man said, is it every day you are always tired? So, though
there's no time, but there must be time for this. Because what you may
not discover is that God created it so that there can be warmth. Warmth
of fellowship, warmth of sharing, warmth of acceptance, warmth of
belonging to one another.

And God put it there. And he said, how can somebody be warm alone? Where
will you achieve that warmth alone? That's why I want to suggest that
for this aspect, your conjugal bed must remain intact. No matter how God
has blessed you, and you are now living in a very big house, and they
say madame's bed, madame's bedroom, master's bedroom, all of that.

May God not allow you to be so blessed as to divide your marital bed. No
matter what, that bed must remain undivided. You must lie together.

Don't allow him to be feeling formed to see you. He must not be knocking
like a rat in the middle of the night. No.

Don't let that happen. God wanted them to do what? God wanted them to
lie together in order to have warmth. Very important.

The warmth of our marriage, God has provided for it. Don't let any
strength divide you. And you know, because you are elders, we dare not
be talking about what you already know.

But I must say that this provision, we never outgrow it. And the warmth
that comes out of conjugal relationship is the kind that you cannot
achieve anywhere else. Even when you see men that are running after
women here and there, it's not true.

They do it in fear. As soon as they come out, they shiver more. In these
days that there are all kinds of infections everywhere, we want to
suggest that even now, keep it warm.

Keep it warm. The last table that we need to preserve, it is that family
table. Sometimes, how wonderful it is that you look forward to a time
when the children, the grandchildren, they all come.

Please take time off. You may not know how refreshing it is when you
become a grandparent to see the freshness that breaks forth when your
small, small, small grandchildren are jumping on you. But if you don't
create space for it, it may never happen.

That table is a table to prolong you. It preserves you. It keeps you
fresh.

Some of us may not have direct biological children, but God has given us
children that pass through our hands. Please create a room. Let them
come back.

Invite them back home. Even if it's just for three days, you see the
whole house will get warm and something comes back to you. The memories
of your marriage, the memories of how you grew up, it will be wonderful
when your wife will say, thank God.

You say, what is the reason? You say, you remember when we were carrying
the pregnancy of this girl, what happened? You remember? You say, yes.
Let's thank God. So you see, reasons to praise God that reactivates your
marital joys is very necessary to keep it warm.

May God help us. Please plan for it. If there is a Christmas holiday
when you are free, ask them home.

Just tell them, come and be with me. You will see that even your wife,
yourself, something will change. May God help us in the name of Jesus.

So if you want to take one question, if there's any, because we're out
of our time space now. Yes, sir. Looking at all the benefits of having a
wife, having a spouse in the ministry, can we always encourage widows
and widowers that they should remarry? Right.

Thank you very much. Actually, we had wanted even to have a special
meeting this evening with the widows and widowers. I don't know how it
escaped us.

We want to say to you that for widows or widowers, when their partner
has left for glory, there was no law binding them not to remarry. Is
that okay? But in remarrying, they must marry only believers. They must
marry in the Lord.

And widows that are still in their younger age, we encourage them. The
Bible said, it's better for her to marry than to be a busybody up and
down. Very important.

But widows that are aged, who can actually dedicate themselves to God's
service and to helping other young women, they are also encouraged to
consider spending the rest of their time in the service of the Lord. But
there is no rule that says even if a widow is 79 and there is another
man that is willing to marry her, there is no rule that says don't. It
is okay.

So all we are saying is that let it be in the Lord. Let it be not just a
replacement of the woman that left, because that's always the problem
that happens with widowers. If as a widower you want to take the next
step and you have grown up children, three steps.

You need first of all to be convinced this is the Lord leading. Number
two, because you are not alone, you already have these children who have
a sense of ownership of your life. You must carry them along.

They must be ready to release you into that new marriage. Otherwise they
will chase her out. And unfortunately you don't want to lose your
children, and they are not willing to share because some of them are
just feeling that where is this woman coming from? When our mother
labored and labored to build this house and build this estate, she would
just want to come and eat.

No! That's their mentality if you did not carry them along. You may be
surprised that some of the children prefer to be paying a cook, to be
cooking for you than to have a wife. So the need to carry them along so
that they do not become a nuisance to your marriage, very important.

Thirdly, whosoever as a widower you are taking, if she also has
responsibility where she is coming from, you must sit down to count the
costs. Because if she has four children somewhere and you have five
children in this place, you are ready now to be the father of nine
children. Are you ready for it? All of this.

But when it is time you want to take that step, we have a special
counsel that we think will be needed for widowers and widows that is
peculiar to their situation, different from when single persons are
trying to get into marriage. If there is any need like that, please seek
the counsel. No matter how sharp you are, the Yoruba proverb says, no
matter how sharp a knife is, it can never carve its own undo.

Don't say, I know everything about marriage. When it comes to another
step in marriage, you don't know anything. You will need to ask God and
people must counsel you and guide you into it.

May God help us in Jesus' name. The last question. Thank you, sir.

My question is this, sir. On this issue of oneness, whereby the husband
is a minister, let's say a pastor, then he has a believing wife also,
who also says he has a ministry. And this ministry, they are not
together.

Let's look at the issue of, let's say the woman says he has another
ministry totally, like a music. And the husband is here and is ready to
do music anyway. How will that not actually affect, even though at home
they are together, they eat together, do everything.

In case of ministry, one is in Kaduna, one is in Ibadan. How will that
actually work? Because of us, from our own denomination, you say pastor,
the wife is another education minister somewhere, or music minister
somewhere. How will that not affect the family? Alright, sir.

We have said this again and again, that what has God joined together? He
has joined their destiny. He has joined everything, including ministry.
Such couple must be confronted with the word of God.

They are no more two. Maybe before they got married, this one say, I'm a
music minister somewhere, I'm this. When they get married, they are no
more two.

That ministry must be brought together. And the wife needed to know,
will you go with this man? You say, yes, I will go. What it means that,
I will go with him, I will no longer go on my own.

And so, we want to note that God has not given a woman an independent
ministry outside her husband. All that God has given her was to be a
help, meet, fit, suitable for him. So all the music anointing she has is
for him.

And if she will understand so well, it is in him, it is in her husband
that she will find her fulfillment. Whatever she is doing up and down,
here and there, heaven is asking, where is your head in this matter? Why
is this headless woman singing up and down? That's the question they are
asking in the heavenlies. Such sisters should be cancelled to return
home, to be keepers at home.

She should not be flying up and down when devourers are eating at home.
Her children, her husband, something is getting wrong somewhere. She
should come back first.

When that has happened, God will give them expression of ministry. Even
that singing might become, you know, an input into the ministry of the
husband. It can be so great, the two of them can become wonderful in the
hand of God.

So let us insist that there is only one effort of ministry for a man and
his wife. Whatever expression of that effort, it is only an input into
the one calling that God has given the two of them. Wives, please may I
tell you, you don't need to be looking for another expression.

It is in this man that God will fulfill you by the grace of God. Then I
must say, husband, please make room, make room for your wife to grow
their best. Enlarge your capacity so that they don't feel inhibited in
becoming what God has desired for them to be.

Create room for them. And as we are doing that, you will soon see that
your wife does not have agitation of going to start her parallel
ministry as it is now. But I must say that part of this is the
contending for the faith.

The devil has invested home. I have seen so many women, they are not
responsible. Their husband is a pastor here.

He says, where is pastor there? Me, I have my ministry there. Some have
started prayer mounting. That is a terrible embarrassment to what God
has called the husband to do.

Nobody has taught them. It bothers me. You know that the other day, they
were ordaining somebody.

Eh? And I am saying, how do you do this kind of thing? But, eh, and it
is such, you know, no need to talk about that. But that is the
challenge. Where is the word of God in all of this? We need to go back
to scripture.

Women should learn in submission. Is that what the Bible said? Aha. And
if that is going to be, that means we are asking that husband and wife,
they are one.

Ministry, one. The destiny that God has for them is one and they should
grow together in it. So if you know such a couple that they are pulling
apart, please call them aside and share with them.

And if possible, give them one of our materials that may help them. No
more two. God's principles for marriage.

It may help if they sit down to study. The dignity of manhood, I am not
bold to announce to you because, eh, I am not sure Larry has it again.
But if you stumble at it, eh, it will be important for you to look into
it.

Manhood is a challenge that if we arise to pursue it, our marriages and
our wives, they are always waiting for us to be the man that God wants
us to be. May God bless you and continue to watch over you. I can pray
now.

He has allowed me to pray. So before okay comes, I will pray first. Let
us pray together.

Shall we pray together? Our Father, we thank you for this evening. We
thank you for leading us this way. You are the Lord.

I give increase. Please bring increase to your word. Let this become an
input into our marriages.

That as we're going back, husband and wives, may there be something
fresh. Just bless these people so that their ministry can bless the
churches. We pray that their homes will be a specimen that will become a
pattern for the families of clergy under their hands and eventually the
entire churches under our watch.

Please undertake for us now. We lift up a voice against the divorce of
marriages. All the things that have stood against our marriages, we
rebuke it this evening in the name of Jesus.

Whatever it is, forces of darkness, external influences or even the
challenge of luck or the problem of barrenness. Father, we raise our
voice to you. Arise on our behalf.

Preserve the home that you created by yourself. Thank you for hearing.
Thank you for our brother and his wife that has stood with us all these
years.

We keep discussing. Thank you for their marriage. We ask that you will
please preserve it.

That God, they will keep growing from one grace to another. And the walk
to which you have called them will not suffer damage. And for us, oh
God, please help us to keep pressing forward as you have led us thus
far.

We must not become history in our lifetime. Thank you for hearing us. In
Jesus Christ's name, we have prayed.

Amen. Amen.

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Source: https://sermonindex.net/speakers/gbile-akanni/family-clinic-2-clergy-2018/
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