| Re: ache of fear|
I don't hesitate to say that I fear God, but as my Father in heaven not some other false notion. I remember witnessing to this kid I worked with and it finally hit home to him when I told him I had no fear of judgement and that I had already been judged at the cross of Christ and been found guilty. I knew that as a sinner I deserved every second of Hell's punishment for all eternity but that Christ had stood in my place and I was therefore judged, found guilty and set free all in the same woderful, beautiful act of redemption.
He stood still for a moment when he realized that time for him was running out, that by not accepting the salvation of Christ he had made a decision. He too was judged and found wanting, and in that final moment there would be no last second decision. This kid was in construction, drove amateur dirt track racecars and was in the habit of driving drunk, no better case could be made for the unpredictability of his last breath. I would not exchange all his supoosed freedom for one second of eternal security, therfore truly I have nothing to fear.
What hurts, what aches what drives me to my kn ess in tears before God is that I am so weak and yes my Father loves me but I know I don't love Him nearly enough. I fear that one missed oppurtunity, that word spoken in anger and haste, that inaction that should have been kindness and love. Why Lord do I say I love you when I show so little of your love for others? It makes me sad to know that I have not done or even undone so much of the Lord's work in my life by my own selfish, childish obstinancy.
His word is so dear to me yet it has taken me forty years to open my heart to Him and let Him write His word on my heart as He wills. I despair of the ineptitude of my prayer because the blind don't see, the sick aren't healed and the dead don't walk and the lack is in me and not in the power of my Lord and Savior. If my sole concern was the glory of His name I would just be beginning and what I fear most is that in the moment I need to stand for my Lord I won't have what it takes to pay the price, take up my cross and follow Him.
To hear your voice Lord, hear and obey; let fear open my ears and give me strength to do what is asked; whatever the cost. I so desperately want to love God with all my heart and strength but I still cling to some parts of myself for fear that they are what makes me who I am; instead of living crucified to the world.
Yes I fear God, He is a consuming fire and only a fool doesn't fear fire. But then all of man's best wisdom is foolishness to God and what is highly esteemed among men is an abomination in the eyes of God. I pray, with fear, that when Christ looks in my heart He sees what is His and not the filthy, sin-stained clutches of the grave.
I am completely capable of fooling myself but He whom with we have to do sees all and will accept no excuses, so yes Lord I ask with fear, remove all that is in me that is not of you, cast the branches that don't bear Your fruit into the fire.
I love my Lord but fear is a reasonable response to Him who can cast me into the fire and I am by no means above some hard lessons because I'm hard-headed. But the Lord has brought me so incredibly far with grace and gentleness, far more than I deserve, and I believe it has all been for the benefit and witness of others, so that they too might come into the arms of a loving Father who desires to wipe all our tears away.
Thank You Lord
Richard E Lewis III
| 2006/3/14 20:42||Profile|
New England USA
I too fear my own foolishness, laziness and lack of concern for the dying souls around me. I fear quenching the Holy spirit and not allowing the Lord to be totally glorified in my life. I am absolutly and totally desperate to be what Jesus has called me to be! My prayers have been so desperate lately. I would rather die than continuing living a life that does not honor and glorify Jesus at all times!!
I'm sick of my own cleverness. Sick of my foolish talking and sick of being cordial and putting on a good act for this dying world! I want this world to see Jesus in me and nothing else!! Let them hate me, let them call me despised, weak and foolish. I'd rather know the suffering of Jesus than all the pleasure of this dying world!! It's all dung!
I fear this the most... this is the image I have in my mind:
I am standing before the great judgement seat of Christ. I am there giving an account for my life. I know that I am washed in the blood and headed to heaven. But as the Holy King looks at me and sees through the timeline of my life, I see all of the times that I have failed Him. One by one those who are condemed to be eterally sepearted from Christ come forth. Some are co-workers, some are neighbors and some are from my own family. They cry out as a final plea to HIM... "The one whom is your servant, did not tell us. If she told us we would have accepted the truth and we would not be cast away into the lake of fire." And as they are saying it I know it's all true.
But then Jesus in all of His awesomeness and holiness address those and He says to them "Yes, what you've said is true, but I have written MY laws upon your heart, and all of nature declares MY magesty. I died for you and called to you daily, but you never responed to my call." At that point there will be no more arguing or pleaing because His final judgment was made.
| 2006/3/15 13:50||Profile|
I am standing before the great judgement seat of Christ.
I certainly agree with those who have claimed the blood of Christ but the thought of empirically experiencing what we have known through faith does cause me to shiver some times.
Even with the knowledge and hope of the Gospel, I think the Lord let's still let's us keep a healthy taste of fear for the Day of Judgment in our hearts. It gives value and perspective to the glorious hope we have been given in Christ. He is our Passover Lamb that has saved us from the wrath of God. Remembering the wrath keeps grace all the more precious.
Also, I think it gives perspective to all of life. It's so easy to forget that we were not created for our own pleasure...but for His. I find this verse from King Solomon to be a balanced thesis for life. "Be happy, young man; while you are young, and let your heart give you joy in the days of your youth. Follow the ways of your heart and whatever your eyes see, but know that for all these things God will bring you to judgment."
In this light I think holding a hushed fearful expectation of standing before the one true and living God is only sensible. In our own country, America, death is often made to seem unreal or avoidable.
In my lifetime I can count on one hand the number of sermons I remember that looked hard at dying and meeting our maker. Most of those were at funerals. Yet, for most of the church's history there were prayers and meditations specifically written to keep that day in mind even while we are young and healthy. "REMEMBER your Creator in the days of your youth."
Here is a translation from the Latin Requiem text. It has Catholic overtones, but when I get a sense of lowliness before El-Shaddai, the Almighty God, I can certainly relate to this trembling.
Deliver me, O Lord,
from eternal death,
on that fearful day
when the heavens are moved and the earth
when thou shalt come to judge
the world through fire.
I am made to tremble, and I fear,
when the desolation shall come,
and also the coming wrath.
That day, the day of wrath,
calamity, and misery,
that terrible and exceedingly bitter day.
Rest eternal grant them, O Lord,
and let perpetual light shine on them.
This is the cry of Christian between worlds in Pilgrims' Progress. He cries woe is me for he learns from scripture that he has offended his Creator. Although we are blood-bought, there are times when we might still feel tempted to pick up our old burdens and try to impress our Creator and Judge. When we do, there is a description given to God in 1 Peter 4:19 that reminds us of the his Everlasting Covenant to redeem his fallen creation.
"...let those who suffer according to the will of God entrust their souls to a faithful creator."
| 2006/3/15 15:41||Profile|
thanks, all for all your comments they really spoke into my heart, so this is what i learned :
1.there will be different Judgments for the faithful and not faithful
2. difference between fear and terror
3.no fruit no saved(fruit of the Spirit? or Fruit of Souls?)
4.healthy fear is good it keeps you on track
| 2006/3/16 18:27||Profile|