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Joined: 2005/6/1
Posts: 71


theres times when someone will ask me what i think about someone. for example the other day some guys wanted to know about a girl. i knew she sleeps around from what shes told me, but i knew that god would not like it if i were to talk bad about her by telling them she sleeps around because they were laughing saying they know shes a ****, you know calling her bad names. Can someone please help me with what to say at that moment about how god would not like me to gossip and give reasons from the bible or something of why he wouldnt like it and how we are no better than anyone else


 2005/10/24 0:13Profile

Joined: 2005/1/5
Posts: 432

 Re: gossiping

I know what that pinch can be like.

But if these are your friends, and they respect you, you should be able to say that you're simply not interested in talking about that. You have to be careful, though.

One of the biggest problems in the demonstration of Christianity is selective demonstration. Another good name for it is hypocricy. Basically, if you're not gonna talk bad about someone, don't talk bad about anyone. Now, this doesn't mean that you don't start somewhere. And we all fall short of God's glory. But you have to make sure that you're not picking and choosing when to act as God would want you to.

If it was me, I would probably just tell them that I don't know her very well, and probably wouldn't be the best person to join in that conversation with. If you do know her, speak well on her character without lying. If you don't know her, leave rumor out of it, and only say what you know, and what would be right to say.

Grace and Peace...

 2005/10/24 0:27Profile

Joined: 2003/7/18
Posts: 6566
Reading, UK

 Re: gossiping

a world of iniquity
This is how James' letter describes the tongue! Can I suggest that you browse through the book of Proverbs and let God tell you how he feels about gossip? Here is a starter for you...Prov. 11:13 (KJVS) A talebearer revealeth secrets: but he that is of a faithful spirit concealeth the matter.
Prov. 18:8 (KJVS) The words of a talebearer are as wounds, and they go down into the innermost parts of the belly.
Prov. 20:19 (KJVS) He that goeth about as a talebearer revealeth secrets: therefore meddle not with him that flattereth with his lips.
Prov. 26:20 (KJVS) Where no wood is, there the fire goeth out: so where there is no talebearer, the strife ceaseth.
Prov. 26:22 (KJVS) The words of a talebearer are as wounds, and they go down into the innermost parts of the belly. A useful test is, would I say this is their presence as I might in their absence?

Ron Bailey

 2005/10/24 7:20Profile

Joined: 2005/9/23
Posts: 10
Reading, UK

 Re: gossiping

Tell your friends to think about how Jesus treated people like prostitutes and adulterers and see if they still want to laugh and call her a slag!
EG. When the woman washed Jesus' feet with her tears. Somewhere in early Luke, can't remember where exactly.


 2005/10/24 8:33Profile

Joined: 2005/7/26
Posts: 524
Tennessee, USA

 Re: gossiping

Dear luckyd,

Are these people your friends, family, fellow Christians, or worldly people you meet at work or school? Depending on who they are will make a difference on what you should say.

I have a friend who also likes to talk down about people. He doesn't gossip, but constantly judges other people. It can be difficult to talk to our friends when they are sinning. We love them and want them to stop it, especially when they do it around us. And yet, when we try to talk to them, they become all defensive. They say stuff like, "Who do you think you are?"

Before doing anything, make sure that you goto Jesus in prayer and ask Him to give you the words to say. Ask Jesus to fill your heart, so that when you talk, your words will be filled with love. If you say it with Christ, how can anyone speak against you?

I would also listen to the other brothers and sisters who have posted as they have posted some excellent advice. I agree with them as well.

Here are some good scriptures from the New Living Translation which speak moreso in our modern day language:

Matthew 7:2 (NLT)
For others will treat you as you treat them. Whatever measure you use in judging others, it will be used to measure how you are judged.

Matthew 12:35 (NLT)
A good person produces good words from a good heart, and an evil person produces evil words from an evil heart.

Proverbs 11:13 (NLT)
A gossip goes around revealing secrets, but those who are trustworthy can keep a confidence.

Proverbs 20:19 (NLT)
A gossip tells secrets, so don't hang around with someone who talks too much.

Proverbs 26:20 (NLT)
Fire goes out for lack of fuel, and quarrels disappear when gossip stops.

Proverbs 26:18-19 (NLT)
18 Just as damaging as a mad man shooting a lethal weapon 19 is someone who lies to a friend and then says, "I was only joking."

Romans 1:29 (NLT)
Their lives became full of every kind of wickedness, sin, greed, hate, envy, murder, fighting, deception, malicious behavior, and gossip.

James 4:11 (NLT)
11 Don't speak evil against each other, my dear brothers and sisters. If you criticize each other and condemn each other, then you are criticizing and condemning God's law. But you are not a judge who can decide whether the law is right or wrong. Your job is to obey it.

Ephesians 4:2(NLT)
2 Be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other's faults because of your love.

I think, Proverbs 18:8 is said best in the King James version of the bible:

Proverbs 18:8 (KJ)
The words of a talebearer are as wounds, and they go down into the innermost parts of the belly.

However, I think the way it's said in the Message is a bit funny, but it gets the point:

Proverbs 18:8 (The Message)
Listening to gossip is like eating cheap candy; do you really want junk like that in your belly?

I especially like Proverbs 11:13, because it talks about the importance of trust in friendship.

Jesus said that we should love one another. An important part of love is trust. Often times, our closest friends are those we trust most. We trust them enough to share our secrets with them. We trust them to keep our secrets in confidence. This kind of closeness is called intimacy. God appreciates intimacy. He tells us we should pray in private.

Gossip is not loving at all. It destroys friendships and hurts people. Just think of when you have heard someone speak badly about you. It hurts deep down, like wounds in the stomach. Basically, listening to gossip makes you sick to your stomach.

I will pray for you my brother. I know it's not an easy thing.


Blake Kidney

 2005/10/24 9:23Profile

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