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 Gut Wrenching.......

So you want to trust in your works, right? You are living a life of ease and things are just wonderful all about. God has been using you and you are getting recognition and you just can't help but be proud of yourself. Hmmmm.

In another thread, a brother posted the following scripture.......

Ezekiel 33:12Therefore you, O son of man, say to the children of your people: "The righteousness of the righteous man shall not deliver him in the day of his transgression; as for the wickedness of the wicked, he shall not fall because of it in the day that he turns from his wickedness; nor shall the righteous be able to live because of his righteousness in the day that he sins.' 13When I say to the righteous that he shall surely live, but he trusts in his own righteousness and commits iniquity, none of his righteous works shall be remembered; but because of the iniquity that he has committed, he shall die. 17"Yet the children of your people say, "The way of the LORD is not fair.' But it is their way which is not fair! 18When the righteous turns from his righteousness and commits iniquity, he shall die because of it.

Oh God have mercy on me.If the unmertied favor of God does not overshadow His word through Ezekiel, I'm hurting. I'm headed for a BBQ and it aint' in Texas. Jesus is my only Hope. Oh God save me by the blood of the Lamb.

Broken and spilled out,


 2005/7/26 7:59

Joined: 2005/7/18
Posts: 57
Brooklyn, USA

 Re: Gut Wrenching.......

The beauty of brokenness

Arnaldo Santiago, Jnr.

 2005/7/26 11:00Profile

Joined: 2005/5/25
Posts: 189

 Re: Gut Wrenching.......

Quote: You are living a life of ease and things are just wonderful all about. God has been using you and you are getting recognition and you just can't help but be proud of yourself. Hmmmm.

Do you not think that the "Proud" that you felt, is a humble, well pleased, having done servie for God and succeeded and completed a purpose for God. Happy that you have fulfilled a purpose?

I know what pride is and try not to have that. but this is the way I feel sometimes.
Like When I sing and worship him I am pleased that I make an effort in worship to him and that he fills my worship to him, with himself

I also at times, I kind of beam sometimes, if I feel that say, I have overcome a struggle or done a purpose for God that day. Quietly being pleased with having made the effort.

What do you think?

 2005/7/29 19:31Profile

 Re: What do you think ?

This was a good thread also.

 2005/7/29 19:45

Joined: 2005/7/18
Posts: 57
Brooklyn, USA

 Re: @ Ellie

Hm. I can understand where you stand, I stand in that same place. But I don't think we can excuse it as a humble way of being pleased to what we have "done". I KNOW I can feel spiritually proud because I "praised well" that night, or I felt as if my worship was a sweet smelling aroma to His nostrils. I do not like that feeling.

I believe that exalting oneself spiritually cannot be umbrella'ed under humility.

An excerpt from The Ragamuffin Gospel:

A humble woman seeks me out because of my vaunted reputation as a spiritual guide. She is simple and direct:
"Please teach me how to pray."
Tersely, I inquire, "Tell me about your prayer life."
She lowers her eyes and says contritely, "There's not much to tell. I say grace before meals."
Haughtily, I reply, "You say grace before meals! Isn't that nice, Madam. I say grace upon waking and before retiring, and grace again before reading the newspaper and turning on the television. I say grace before ambulation and meditating, before the theater and the opera, before jogging, swimming, biking, dining, lecturing, and writing. I even say grace before saying grace."

That night, soggy with self-approval, I go before the Lord. And He whispers, "You ungrateful turd. Even the desire to say grace is iteself My gift."

When will WE realize that we cannot impress God?

In Christ

Arnaldo Santiago, Jnr.

 2005/7/29 22:35Profile


His love, the only crucifier of 'self'.

[b]"If we focus on just one bad trait/habit of our flesh/Self, then we'll see it in everybody else.
Better to just cry out to God to put [u]Self[/u], itself, on the Cross and ask He remind us and help us to keep it there, by His Word. Give us Your Love God."

"He who sees himself as humble, has ceased to be."[/b]

Phi 2:3 Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind[i] let each esteem others as better than themselves.[/i]
Phi 2:4 Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others. (concern/compassion)
Phi 2:5 Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus:
Phi 2:6 Who, being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal with God:
Phi 2:7 But made himself of no reputation, and took upon him the form of [i]a servant[/i], and was made in the likeness of men:
Phi 2:8 And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, [i]and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross.[/i]

Joy = J for Jesus - O for Others - Y for you, last.

1Co 13:4 Love has patience, is kind; charity is not envious, is not vain, is not puffed up.1Co 13:5 Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;
1Co 13:6 Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the
Truth .

Love is the guaranteed antidote to pride(Self), and we're to love each other enough to die for each other. As those in the Coliseums, covered their brothers with themselves, so the lion would kill them instead.

Mat 5:43 Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbor, and hate thine enemy.
Mat 5:44 But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; Mat 5:45 That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust.
Mat 5:46 For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same?

1Pe 4:8 and above all things, have Fervent love among yourselves, because love will cover a multitude of sins. Prov. 10:12

After all the great works that Hudson Taylor had done, he said something to the affect of, ' In my strongest prayers, and best of preaching, etc., I still see the tinge of 'flesh' (self) in all of my deeds.

Paul said, "not that I have already 'attained' ... "

Pride is just another word for "flesh or Self", and from all the great men we read about, it's a battle till we're with the Lord. But HE must do the work, or it's still "self".

[b]We can only cry out, in the privacy of our own prayer closets. "To be like Him."

Pride is just a portion of 'self', so it's not the pride that needs the focus, it's the 'Self' needing crucifixion.[/b]

Rom 7:18 For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not.
Rom 7:24 O wretched man that I am ! Who shall deliver me from the body of this death? Rom 7:25 I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord ! ....

Love is the antidote to self. The Apostle John learned this best of all.
His Love through us and ours crucified.

 2005/7/30 0:31

Joined: 2005/5/25
Posts: 189

 Re: 'Humble'

Perhaps the wrong word to use.

Message in books
'The Ragamuffin Gospel”

I am not going to go around depressed and battering myself with scripture, and interpretations of messages in books. I didn’t like the set out of that interpretation, very much.
Its the Book I object to not 'You'.

And some of the scripture from Grannie, could lead me to feeling unhappy.

If we took all of the scripture, and used all in daily life. It would be like being in a straight jacket, when would we be cheerful, with maturity.

When it is pride, I know because God convicts me of it. He shows me many things this way. I walk with God and I praise him for helping me, I praise him, giving thanks to him when he has me do things for him, I laugh with him.
I experience him, lifting me up in my spirit. Up as if in the heavenlies and his love for me it is so wonderful, it near takes my breath away.

And yet there are many situations that I have faced and that have been so painful and this is when I have relied on him and cried to him and asked of him and I waited on him.

I have been looking to him throughout 20yrs of my life. He is my Father.

It mainly began in 1986
I would say, “God there is no one, not one living person on this earth to help me, God you have the power and I look to you, God help me and my children.”
1986 Up until 1993 I knew God had power but I could only see him as a dot, way-out in space. I used to tell him this. I used to say, “I know you have the power but are you really there, you only seem like a dot in the sky.”

I continued to talk to him and pray to him throughout the following years. There were times that he did move on situations. I thanked him gratefully.

In 1993 I showed him, that I willed to walk his way with him, during 3 months in repentance to him and at the end of 3 Months.
[I was near dying and giving up with all the terrible struggles. My mother saw How ill I was and went home and she and a friend prayed fervently to God for me.
Four days later, he filled me with his Holy Spirit, it was awesome etc..... he filled me with the Holy Spirit in my own home and it was on an Easter Sunday.

I had not attended church up to that point.I had made contact with two churches 1896 and 1990. So prayer will have been said by them. There had been prayer for me throughout the years by my mother and her friends. My mother is now 78

My life has been like a war zone for 20yrs. He has saved me from many snares. He is with me every second of every day. I know that the scripture is Holy and I take it seriously and God in reverence of his Holiness.

I have told you all of this that you might appreciate the relationship we have.

And there is much substance missing to the above as I have not written it all in detail.

He has collected all my tears
in a jar, nothing that I have gone through in the past 20 yrs will be wasted; God is going to use it all for good. I am waiting on him as. I look for the full healing for my physical health. In his timing.

Bye the way I am not perfect. I repent of sin in thought, word, and deed as and when it occurs. I can however be unable to forgive at times this is something I work on.
I have recently been given some scripture by someone on this site it is extremly useful and definitly came from God, to this person for me.
I am nearer to fully forgiving.

My younger brother, often will say you keep a short account of sins, I say it happens automatically, as soon as I know of it.

Now my Brother who also had a wonderful experience of God, has such a close walk with God. All of self strictly given to God. I know God has a certain purpose for him. His Fiancé has the same kind of walk and I know they are both going to do Gods bidding and will.

God is going to use My Brother and I in different ways and requires certain things of he and I, so that the work he has for each of us, will be done.

I know this is lengthy.

The Greatest thing I know is, God is my Father.

One of my favourite hymns.....
Great is thy faithfulness oh! God my Father,
Morning by morning new mercies I see,
All I have needed thy hand hath provide,
Great is thy faithfulness, God unto me.


 2005/7/30 12:39Profile

Joined: 2005/7/18
Posts: 57
Brooklyn, USA


Not lengthy enough lol.

Now ellie, I knew you would take that situation in less of a good & receiving light. That is the way I received it. But with revelation & prayer & counsel I realized, the depiction of Brennan is somewhat mine. My head gets all blown-up because I later realized that I was the only one bowing on my knees, I was the only one with tear-filled eyes, I was the one screaming the loudest because the Spirit moved me, I was the only one who was quoting scripture, I was the only one who, to me, did an awesome night in worshipping the Lord. A shame is what it is.

I am not attacking you either ellie, I am attacking the pride that errupts in our spirits when we think we did such a great job at last tuesdays prayer service. Not feeling this doesn't mean we have to wallow in self pity at a job poorly done, but we need to keep out feet grounded in thanksgiving, not drowned in a pool of "job-well-done'.

And the comment about Grannie, I believe nothing in Scripture can lead you to the feeling of unhappiness. Yes cheerful, not patting ourselves on our own back, even quietly.

I pray you receive these things in love

In Him

Arnaldo Santiago, Jnr.

 2005/7/30 14:38Profile

Joined: 2005/5/25
Posts: 189

 Re: TiltedHalo on 2005/7/30


Your Quote ” My head gets all blown-up because I later realized that I was the only one bowing on my knees, I was the only one with tear-filled eyes, I was the one screaming the loudest because the Spirit moved me, I was the only one who was quoting scripture, I was the only one who, to me, did an awesome night in worshipping the Lord. A shame is what it is “

Well if that’s what you did after, then you have reason to come before God with it all.

Your Quote: “we need to keep our feet grounded in thanksgiving”

That’s what I do.

Your Quote: “And the comment about Grannie, I believe nothing in Scripture can lead you to the feeling of unhappiness.”

It most certainly can cause unhappiness and self quotes from where ever, when some of them do not apply to the person that is receiving them.

Your Quote “Yes cheerful, not patting ourselves on our own back, even quietly.”

I have a most wonderful walk with God that incorporates our relationship, through the Holy Spirit.

God is my Father.

I worship the Lord in all truth of his word. He delights my soul, he fills my spirit. I abound in his Love. Amen


 2005/7/30 16:31Profile

Joined: 2005/7/18
Posts: 57
Brooklyn, USA


hey El =)

I don't think you are understanding my point.

I am not questioning your walk with God whatsoever.

I am talking about knowing how we can soak ourselves in self-approval in how well we did in worshipping Him. Understand? I have done it and am sure I will again.

We get this feeling of "I" did a great job. When the very desire came from Him, we were responsible for NOTHING, except making ourselves available ... and even the desire to do so comes from the Other up above. It gets to His Supreme Sovereignty.

But this is my point:

I am addressing your original post; to feel that feeling, even quietly about doing a service well done to God, in my opinion, isn't a healthy feeling. You are giving yourself all of the credit. YES you are giving God all the praise & honour but you are exalting yourself saying "It was ME who worshipped."


When we should all just be thankful. Period. That He can use such empty vessels.

In Him

Arnaldo Santiago, Jnr.

 2005/7/31 1:57Profile

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