Psa 40:1 I waited patiently for the LORD; and he inclined unto me, and heard my cry.
How ill it makes me feel, to know and admit that most of the time, if I waited on HIM, it's because HE saw to it that EVERY door of "opportunity" remained closed, and I had little to no choice but to wait. :'(
Psa 40:2 He brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings.
If there was but one word, one moment of "success", it surely was HIS doing, and not my own.
Psa 40:3 And he hath put a new song in my mouth, even praise unto our God: many shall see it, and fear, and shall trust in the LORD.
Joy comes in the morning. At last a new day dawns, that I never really thought would come. I'm glad and ashamed all at the same time. I worship HIM not for the new day, but for MAKING ME WAIT for it to come, without being totally destroyed in the waiting.
Psa 40:4 Blessed is that man that maketh the LORD his trust, and respecteth not the proud, nor such as turn aside to lies.
I can honestly say, I trust in the LORD. I despise being lied too. I
often find it difficult if not down right impossible, to despise the lie and yet love the liar. To protect myself, or follow HIS leading to a safe refuge, I have turned aside from the proud, the notable, the popular deceivers of this world. There is only ONE WHO IS WORTHY. My LORD who died for me. HE suffered and died the death I so deserved. I take comfort not in my failures, but in HIS success at keeping me all these years. But more, when HE died, I died with HIM. I've been dead for almost 2000 years. If this were not so, I would have no hope. I would sink into despair, and grieve myself to death.
I simply cannot bear to look at "my living". I must wait on HIM, and look at HIS LIVING, and my life alive in HIM. Oh thank you LORD.
Rom 6:3 Know ye not, that so many of us as were baptized into Jesus Christ were baptized into his death?
Rom 6:4 Therefore we are buried with him by baptism into death: that like as Christ was raised up from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life.
Rom 8:1 There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.
I spend a lot of time waiting. And at my age, it's even harder to do, because I know I'm running out of days to wait. But I watch, and hope. I look for open doors and opportunities. Today is a new day. Will there be a new open door? Will that long awaited answer finally come, that will leave me in TEARS of both joy and regret, that in reality I have not done well at TRUSTING HIM, yet HE blessed me anyway?
Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me. I once was lost, but now I'm found, was blind, but now I see.