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TakeUptheCross
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Joined: 2016/8/10
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 Do we deserve to be loved?

A rather strange question... but have you ever wondered: Do we deserve to be loved by other people? I know that we do not deserve the love of God and God loves us, because He Himself is Love. But... Is it right to demand or expect from others (primarily believers to love you)? Do we deserve it? I know that we are commanded to love others, parents must love their children, husbands their wives and vice versa. But I am talking primarily about love between believers.

 2017/12/18 10:24Profile
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 Re: Do we deserve to be loved?

Sister,

That is an excellent question for believers to ponder. I will just add a short thought but look forward to more better responses. I feel that alot of unforgivenes, hurt feelings etc would not happen if we found more of our acceptance with God and Jesus Christ and not with others.

Of course we should love and seek relationships with others but in the end the only person that will never hurt or fail us is Jesus Christ. Our expectation should be that all human relationships will be faulty including ourselves as not being perfect. But we should as you said seek to love others and be very open to others coming into our lives even though it can hurt.


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 2017/12/18 10:42Profile
TMK
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Joined: 2012/2/8
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 Re:

We are commanded to love the brethren.

So every Christian is expected to love every other Christian.

I can only control what I do and that is what I will answer for. When I get in the mindset of expecting someone else to do something or thinking I deserve something I am headed for trouble.

I must refuse to be offended.


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Todd

 2017/12/18 11:11Profile
roadsign
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Joined: 2005/5/2
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 Re:

A great question! I believe that every human being deserves to be loved (respected and valued) because every person is made in the image of God. This applies to "bad" people too.

If we believe we do not deserve to be loved, we deny the value God places on us. This is not humility, but a self-destructive belief about ourselves. In truth, it's depending on our own righteousness to measure our value.

In our fallen world, we are often mistreated and disrespected - and that is a sin against God and ourselves. If we cannot declare it a sin, then there is nothing to forgive. Forgiveness requires a judgment, and a clear belief that any failure to love is a sin. (Here's where we are far too permissive! We overlook what should be labeled as sin.)

Scripture warns us that we will be persecuted and mistreated because of our faith. It is indeed undeserved, but that is why we are called to live forgivingly - with mercy.

We cannot and must not use control or coercion or guilt trips to "make" people be "loving". But we can with all humility say: "Because I am a person of self respect (made in the image of God), I will not engage in a situation where I am treated disrepectfully and condescendingly." And then extricate ourselves if our caution is ignored.

Does that seem reasonable?
Diane


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Diane

 2017/12/18 11:31Profile
TakeUptheCross
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 Re:

@Todd - "I must refuse to be offended"

You know when offence comes in? When you had expectation on someone, and he does not meet them, while I am thinking that what I desire, is my right to receive. That is why I asked, do we DESERVE to be loved. "DESERVE" has in itself the sense of right,,I've earned that, I have to have it. For example if you work,you deserve your salary. But is it so with love? And then if I don't deserve, if I have not "earned" the love of others, why should I be offended when I kind of realize that people don't love me (or at least feel like that)? (Again I am speaking of believers)

You may well say, all Christians should love one another? But then what is the real expression of that?

The question popped up in my mind, after I read 1 Corinthians 13. In German it says "die Liebe ... lässt sich nicht erbittern" (=love ... does not let herself become bitter"), translated in KJV "charity... is not easily provoked".
And I thought, "how hard it is sometimes to love those, who do not meet all the conditions". To love without expecting anything in return?...

 2017/12/18 11:57Profile
TakeUptheCross
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 Re:

@Diane - I get your logic, but I guess nobody would usually come up and say -"You know what, I just want you to love me because I am a child of God" (speaking among believers).

And even if you said that, you cannot force anybody to love you. Then comes perhaps also the issue that what we understand as "brotherly love" is different? Perhaps for one is to ask "How are you doing?" and for other to be interested in one's spiritual welfare?

 2017/12/18 12:09Profile
roadsign
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 Re:

Quote:
That is why I asked, do we DESERVE to be loved.

"DESERVE" has in itself the sense of right,,I've earned that, I have to have it.


This is a subjective assumption, and I chose not to accept this definition.

Consider these two possible answers to the opening question:

1. Yes. Every person is deserving of love.
Criteria: made in image of God.

or

2. No. No person is deserving of love.
Criteria: their works fall short.

It all depends on how one defines "deserve" and "love" in their minds.


"Entitlement" is another matter. It's narcissism: I deserve the world to treat me as god - because that's who I am. (Genesis 3:5) Narcissists don't want true love, they want to be worshipped. Wouldn't you agree?


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Diane

 2017/12/18 12:36Profile
savannah
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 Re: Do we deserve to be loved?



Jezebel's daughter Athaliah;

For the sons of Athaliah, that wicked woman, had broken into the house of God, and had also used all the dedicated things of the house of the LORD for the Baals. 2 Chronicles 24:7

That wicked woman; Hebrew, הַמִּרְשַׁעַת; fem. noun, derivative of רַשַׁע; meaning strictly in the abstract, "the wickedness," equal to that incarnation of wickedness. Pulpit Commentary


At the time of her deposition, Athaliah was resident in the royal palace. When roused to a sense of danger by the acclamations which greeted the coronation ceremony, she made an attempt to stay the revolt by rushing into the temple court, alone; her guards, according to Josephus, having been prevented from following her (Ant., IX, vii, 3). A glance sufficed. It showed her the lad standing on a raised platform before the temple, holding the Book of the Law in his hand, and with the crown upon his brow. Rending her robe and shouting, "Treason! Treason!" she fled. Some were for cutting her down as she did so, but this was objected to as defiling the temple with human blood. She was, therefore, allowed to reach the door of the palace in flight. Here she fell, smitten by the avenging guards. Bible Encyclopedia


2 Kings 9:30-37

When Jehu came to Jezreel, Jezebel heard of it. And she painted her eyes and adorned her head and looked out of the window. And as Jehu entered the gate, she said, “Is it peace, you Zimri, murderer of your master?” And he lifted up his face to the window and said, “Who is on my side? Who?” Two or three eunuchs looked out at him. He said, “Throw her down.” So they threw her down. And some of her blood spattered on the wall and on the horses, and they trampled on her. Then he went in and ate and drank. And he said, “See now to this cursed woman and bury her, for she is a king’s daughter.” But when they went to bury her, they found no more of her than the skull and the feet and the palms of her hands. When they came back and told him, he said, “This is the word of the LORD, which he spoke by his servant Elijah the Tishbite: ‘In the territory of Jezreel the dogs shall eat the flesh of Jezebel, and the corpse of Jezebel shall be as dung on the face of the field in the territory of Jezreel, so that no one can say, This is Jezebel.’”

Jehu and the eunuchs must not have had that revelation that Jezebel deserved to be loved. Or maybe it could be said that they loved her to death.


Judges 4:17-22

But Sisera fled away on foot to the tent of Jael, the wife of Heber the Kenite, for there was peace between Jabin the king of Hazor and the house of Heber the Kenite. And Jael came out to meet Sisera and said to him, “Turn aside, my lord; turn aside to me; do not be afraid.” So he turned aside to her into the tent, and she covered him with a rug. And he said to her, “Please give me a little water to drink, for I am thirsty.” So she opened a skin of milk and gave him a drink and covered him. And he said to her, “Stand at the opening of the tent, and if any man comes and asks you, ‘Is anyone here?’ say, ‘No.’” But Jael the wife of Heber took a tent peg, and took a hammer in her hand. Then she went softly to him and drove the peg into his temple until it went down into the ground while he was lying fast asleep from weariness. So he died. And behold, as Barak was pursuing Sisera, Jael went out to meet him and said to him, “Come, and I will show you the man whom you are seeking.” So he went in to her tent, and there lay Sisera dead, with the tent peg in his temple.

Jael is yet another example of one lacking that revelation. Apparently she forgot that Sisera deserved to be loved. But again, one might say she loved him to death.

Or maybe they just had a different way of expressing their love for other human beings, knowing all the while that they had value and deserved to be loved.

Just pondering...

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2 Chronicles 19:2

The prophet Jehu son of Hanani went out to meet him and said to the king, "Should you help the wicked and love those who hate the LORD? Because of this, the wrath of the LORD is on you.

 2017/12/18 13:37Profile
MrBillPro
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Joined: 2005/2/24
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 Re:

Maybe a better question might be, do we deserve anything?


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Bill

 2017/12/18 13:56Profile
twayneb
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Joined: 2009/4/5
Posts: 2007
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 Re: Do we deserve to be loved?

Through Christ, we have been reconciled to God. This means that we have been ushered back into the destiny and identity that He desired all along for us to have. We are now in Him. We are a new creature, born of the Spirit of God. We are to shine forth His image and His glory in this world.

This means that rather than needing love, we are in Him, He is love, and we have now, through Him, become love. So to me, perhaps the question should be rewritten. To me it is not so much about whether I deserve love from other. Because I am now in love, and because I bear His image, I should become love. I receive love from Him, so I give love to others. I don't worry about receiving love from others, I already have that from Him.

Hope that makes sense.


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Travis

 2017/12/18 14:14Profile





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