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ChadC
Member



Joined: 2017/1/10
Posts: 29
Western Edge, North Dakota

 Young Man, Choose Wisely!

On January 20th, my family not only affirmed God's choice for the helm of America, but also celebrated our 10th "Tin" Anniversary! How thankful I am for God's choice for both! I thought I'd post here an encouragement I posted last year on Facebook. To God be the Glory!

"He who finds a wife, finds a good thing and has obtained favor from the Lord"! Prov 18:22


Young Man Choose Wisely!

I am so thankful the Lord brought Nicole to me and we can celebrate his gift of 9 years of marriage together today!

Many of you know our story, but many of you do not, and this is for the young man who has become impatient, the young man the world says "something is wrong with you", the young man wanting and willing to "Wait on the Lord" for His good plans and purposes in your life.
Whether you become married or not here on this earth should really be of little concern to you young Disciple... the real concern should be are you willing to follow wherever He leads?

As a young man of 15 the Lord met me. I had grown up in various churches and Christian schools I had decided that either God was not real or that those powerful things I read about concerning His Church in the New Testament somehow did not apply today (both false ). How surprised I was when the Lord asked me the question "Chad what if I exist?".

How like the Lord to answer a question with a question. What quickly followed was exactly what is described in God's Word as being "born again" (John 3). Through the Holy Spirit, the Lord radically changed my desires, thoughts, and inclinations, led me to repentance and to His truths. I became acutely aware of various actions (sin) in my life that came in the way of us having a relationship and hated it because of that. As I began to change, and leave all these things I was being shown, I was moving toward a life of righteousness, a life lived in a manner pleasing to Him. I say this as a backdrop for young men, that you will never have the right wife if you are not following the right Shepherd. You can have your choice for a bride or wait on His.

One of the things early on the Lord requested of me was to "not worry about woman, I will give you a wife if you need one". How I wished I had fully followed His direction. I "broke up" with my current "girlfriend" (who has gone on to marry a much finer man than myself!) and followed the Lord for a season, but allowed the world, church, and even Bible School, to influence me into thinking I should be dating, looking for a wife, etc. I sadly hurt many young ladies along the way, and am truly thankful for our modern Social Media in allowing me to the opportunity to apologize... Apology's and forgiveness given however do not always remove scars.

What the Lord wanted for me was to follow. He also wanted to imbed a much different picture and illustration of what family is than what I had seen here in the normal Western Church. He wanted to whittle, mold, chasten, grow, encourage, and lead me to places of greater understanding to give me something special (and my wife something better :) ). This is often the case in every area of our lives. God desires us to have amazing lives full of wonder at what He has done in us, through us, and around us. This brings Him Glory! We are foreigners to this world when we become His "new creations" and He makes "all things beautiful in His time".. but it is His time.

I have found that the greatest levels of Biblical understanding and spiritual revelation come through many "trials" the Lord brings us through, it is why we are to have great joy through them (James 1), but we have to be patient, and take captive every fretful, fearful, or impatient thought, or we may lose the very thing the Lord is leading us to attain, and we often may not even know what that is, concerning marriage & family, I certainly did not. Sometimes the things that bring the biggest change are recognizing the big mega-patterns God established back at the beginning. How interesting that we are seeing the demise of Biblical Marriage, Family, and Gender, 3 of the most important aspects of God's Creation. We need to remember that our enemy hates God's good patterns.

Through my young adult years the Lord began planting me in family after family that had various things He wanted me to see, saturate, and learn. He wanted me to glean that children are a "heritage" and a "blessing" from Him. He also wanted me to learn and see that families could be full of laughter and the joy of the Lord and serve Him together even on the mission field (both in "Jerusalem" and to "the ends of the earth"). God wanted me to see and have a more Biblical vision for shepherding my home which includes homeschooling and it's many character building strengths (radically different from my background). The Lord desired that I have His heart concerning adoption and an openness to Him filling my house with whomever He wanted. The Lord also wanted me to be able to recognize a godly woman and to be able to delight in what He delights in so I could have the real "desires of my heart" (Psalm 37:4), desires which would "agree with godliness".

When I walked into the then recently opened "Five Loaves Bakery" in Great Falls Montana as a 35 year old that had for the most part given up any real hope for a God-fearing wife, how shocked I was when after meeting Nicole, the Lord said "HER!". Even more so when my best friend while walking out expressed to me that the Lord had told him the same thing "Your'e going to marry that girl"!

How the Lord orchestrates our circumstances just amazes me. I had already met Nicole's 2 sisters at a Bible Study in their house which so moved me that I spent the entire night seeking the Lord. I had also met her best friend at a "Freedom From Sodomy" booth at the state fair, which had also greatly challenged me in what I was willing to do for the Lord (Their booth was always strategically placed near the LGBT booth!). I then spent the next several months watching my wife's family work together at their Bakery... how rare (and beautiful). I then waited on the Lord to unfold our relationship. I am so thankful I tempered the Lord's leading with the time to let Him grow His work. We often don't wait for the Lord to give birth to His plans after He conceives them. How quickly we can muck things up by overly involving ourselves... even (or especially) concerning courtship & marriage.

Behind the scenes the Lord was also working in Nicole's life. Upon hearing the first time I was interested thought "that would be weird to marry Chad". I was pretty far from her normal "circle" as an Air Force Officer. Nicole's parents, both educators professionally, had chosen to leave their occupations for the wisdom they saw in homeschooling and in making various other family and occupational choices to build a character-filled God-pleasing home life. For 2 weeks the Lord placed a struggle within Nicole that she could not identify. It was intense enough though that she didn't eat for 2 weeks and lost 10 pounds (quite a bit for her!) and resulted in her declaring, to her surprise, "Ok, Lord! I'll marry Chad!". God not only chose her for me but also chose me for her as well.

On the 4th of July (During Nicole's 2 week "ordeal") I had orchestrated a family party at Five Loaves Bakery after hours for the 4th of July with both mine and my best friends visiting families. Within 2 minutes of being there my Father pulled me aside and said "You need to marry one of these 3 sisters!" in reference to the Martin girls who were busy serving the party. Part of the reason I had planned the gathering was to see how our families interacted knowing well that you marry a family not just a woman. The level of involvement you have with your spouse' family will depend on many things to include, distance, personality, and spiritual wisdom, but regardless of the level of extended familial intimacy, to not recognize this dynamic is both naive and unbiblical.

On July 10th, after my best friends wife had expressed somewhat... passionately (I laugh, she's from the South.. and I love it!) saying that I was "gonna lose that girl!", I was driving to Five Loaves to get my daily tea, and while driving I told the Lord "I really need to know if this is of you". After getting my drink I began to walk out when Jonathon, Nicole's Father, asked if I had a minute to talk. This was not abnormal as I had had many discussions with Nicole's Father (a wonderful man full of wisdom and faithfulness) and we started talking. Jonathan began by saying "Nicole really enjoyed meeting your family on the 4th" to which I replied that my family had really enjoyed meeting the Martins as well.. to which He replied "No.. Niiicollle... really enjoyed meeting your family"... So I replied, "... um... is this a Nicole talk?" and through his wonderful broad grin, Jonathon said "it is!".

So July 10th began what we called our "Us-ness", and we were engaged on my Birthday Sunday, Sept 10th, at her church, in front of her Father, family, Pastor, and friends. Nicole received her engagement ring on October 10th (10/10) at 10:10:10 seconds (the sapphire had become lost in the mail!) and still today we often call, text, or hug at 10:10 each day as a reminder of our continuing covenant with each other.

I wish I could say writing this that I was the best fit for Nicole that she could have ever had.. but I was anything but, and I knew it. I can't tell you the struggle I had knowing my background marrying this woman who's countenance and character so glowed with the Lord... I felt I was stealing her from a much better prospect and that prospect's work before the Lord. But I was God's choice for her, and she for me.
9 years down this very strange and event-laden road we've had together we both see God's wisdom in the ways our marriage has molded us. God's Word states that when you marry you will become one.. this is true on many levels, but one of them is that you will stop being the person you were. This takes different amounts of time for each couple, but you will become like your wife in things you like and in things you may not.. you lose yourself, and your wife will lose herself. This is an amazing mystery to me, but one I am so thankful for understanding beforehand.. It can be hard to watch yourself change and have no control over it.

I could go on and tell you about the amazing Marriage Ceremony we had and all the people that so blessed us in every way imaginable but I feel it would serve to deter the point of the this already too long post, which is "Young Man, Wait on the Lord". Trust in Him with all your heart, and don't trust your own understanding, in everything, especially marriage, lean on His wisdom, and He will make your paths straight (Prov 3:5-6).

I am so thankful the Lord chose Nicole for me, she is patient, kind, immeasurably faithful, puts God first in every way, resembles what I desire my children to emulate, has a powerful mind that "takes captive every thought", leads the hearts and minds of my children daily toward the things of her Great Shepherd, is beautiful, charitable, giving, selfless, wise, careful with money, etc. etc. times 10!

As another side note, though we choose to homeschool and see the wisdom in it, we also recognize that turning it into an idol has destroyed the very thing many families hoped it would help in... mainly drawing the hearts of their children to God. Follow the Lord's leading for your lives. If the Lord ever leads me to change our direction along this line, I'll follow Him as well, though with increasing measure I daily see the wisdom in keeping my children from the agenda-driven "morality" of today's public schools. Please don't feel judgment from this post along these lines as it doesn't exist in my heart.

The Lord bless you and your families richly!


_________________
Chad C

 2017/1/21 16:24Profile
mama27
Member



Joined: 2010/11/20
Posts: 1482


 Re: Young Man, Choose Wisely!

I am SO grateful for your testimony. I have young adult children who are wondering if there will be anyone for them. Thank you for sharing! Praise God :)

 2017/1/21 23:48Profile
StirItUp
Member



Joined: 2016/6/4
Posts: 949
Johannesburg, South Africa

 Re: Young Man, Choose Wisely!

Wonderful testimony Chad,

The Lord bless you


_________________
William

 2017/1/22 1:31Profile





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