So over the past 5 years, I have seen tremendous victory over the mind in this area. The grace of God in this cannot be overstated. You couldn't overcome the flesh by the flesh when you were lost; salvation is no different. You don't receive the Spirit by the works of the law, but by faith. This is very similar.
However, there is a practical component to this that is equally as spiritual and necessary. The tide began to turn for me in 2018, when I began obeying the Lord in these ways:
1) I became accountable to a group of men from my church, where I specifically confess the sins with which I struggle (not in graphic detail, but enough detail not to hide anything). We memorize Scripture, study the Word, and pray for one another. It isn't anything fancy, but man, it is both effective and freeing. We don't just trade sin confessions, and often times we receive a hard word from other men but nothing out of anger or malice. Some of the men in that group have been freed from these things and encourage us to pursue Christ wholly as we pursue Him and sanctification.
2) I began to obey Jesus' command to cut off the sources of sin if they are means by which I sin through systematically removing anything from my life that exposes me to pornographic, sexually-charged, debase, or lewd materials. I don't watch movies if they contain sexual content of any kind (jokes, scenes, inuendos, etc). I do not have a smartphone. When I had a smartphone, it was locked down so that I was unable to go to any pornographic websites if temptation struck, but we discovered that even without access to pornography, the world constantly used sexually-charged advertisements and materials that would "stick" in our minds. So, for the sake of my own protection, I got a dumb phone. If you MUST have a smart phone, the app MOBICIP is incredibly effective for blocking content. Mobicip cannot be removed, altered, or circumvented without the administrator of the account knowing everything you're doing. In fact, it notifies the administrator when something fishy is going on and he can lock down your device immediately. Also, the search engine swisscows.com is an excellent, family-friendly search engine. Not only does it filter out lewd content on the search-engine level, it does not have the anti-conservative bias found on google or other major search engines.
3) Our computers are locked down in such a way that only websites that the administrator (one of the other accountability brothers) allows can be accessed. We use a two-person password system on the computers so that only if 2 brothers agree to access the administrative side of the computer can it be unlocked. We use the computers for work, for school, and for whatever other wholesome activities.
4) We practice not looking around and scoping out women. Basically, we just keep our heads down and focus on the things that are good and wholesome. We listen to Christian music, John Macarthur sermons, or something else edifying while we are at the gym. If we are together at the gym, we fellowship and talk about the Lord.
5) We never forget that everything we do is rendered useless apart from the grace of Jesus Christ. There is no sanctification apart from Him. Our enemy, the devil, is smart enough to easily overcome any of these things we do, but we rely wholly on Christ to protect us in these areas. Our piddly efforts are an offering to Him, which He finds acceptable and because of our acceptance in Him, we can always approach the throne of grace in our time of need.
6) We remember that we are always ready to fall. Even in telling you these things, there is great fear in my heart knowing that 3 seconds after submitting this, I could sin and bring reproach on the name of Christ. So stay humble, even if you overcome. I remember in 2008, after many, many years of being free from pornography, I responded to a young man about how I overcame. That same evening, I was tempted and for several years it was once again and on-and-off struggle. So stay humble. None of us here are spiritual giants. We are unprofitable servants, because we've only done what we were told to do, if at all.
By the grace of God and seeking to walk in obedience to what has been commanded of me, the Lord has brought about the diminishment of lewd thoughts. It costs a great deal, but until I started trying to cut sources of filthy ideas out of my life, I didn't realize how prevalent it was all over the place. But because we have cut out the sources that we have deliberate access to, the things we accidentally encounter hold far less sway. I thank God for that. For the longest time, I thought I would never survive our culture and how lewd it is. But thanks be to God for His incredible power and mercy! I look forward to the day when I can stand in Christ, by His grace, and behold Him for all eternity, washed white and clean and bright because of the great work He has done in me. What a priviledge to get to be a participant (bordering on spectator!) in that! |
