https://www.sermonindex.net/modules/bible_books/?view=book&book=2

I get so disgusted of myself living like an amoeba. Comfort, comfort everywhere. Seek and you will find. Pray and I will get it. All the promises are mine. It IS the great divide from die to self, let God break you.

Now the breaking can happen anyway, but we are called to let it right?

And if we run into it is that like the self flaggelents with hair shirts?

Even when I think I am allowing life to wash over me, I am not and positioning myself to take the least blow possible.

This dying to self business is impossible. Who can do it but the Holy Spirit within?

All I think can be done is willing. Be willing. Even if the last momment is a pull away. Or is that still all fleshly and impossible to succeed?

The more I want to follow, the more I want holiness and sanctification. The more confused and impossible is each day.

Absolutely personal note here. I am currently living apart from spouse. The marraige of 28 years was of shame and pain and abuse and attack. Not physical. I felt a tiny crumbled broken self. But maybe it was for my sanctification. Maybe I would have been cracked wide open had I stayed. Maybe I should go back instead of this peace and comfort I have living alone. Was I led out? All I know is wanting to always get out, suddenly there was opportunity and I took it. Living is so much better. But is that the point?

I dont know what Im doing. Im glad HE does. Rest that I am such a mess. HE will have to do it all.

_________________
Linda

Teach me to pray,


I confess that in religious exercises
the language of my lips and the feelings
of my heart have not always agreed,
that I have frequently taken carelessly upon
my tongue a name never pronounced above
without reverence and humility,
that I have often desired things which would
have injured me,
that I have depreciated some of my chief mercies,
that I have erred both on the side of my hopes
and also of my fears,
that I am unfit to choose for myself,
for it is not in me to direct my steps.
Let thy Spirit help my infirmities,
for I know not what to pray for as I ought.
Let him produce in me wise desires by which
I may ask right things,
then I shall know thou hearest me.
May I never be importunate for temporal blessings,
but always refer them to thy fatherly goodness,
for thou knowest what I need before I ask;
May I never think I prosper unless my soul prospers,
or that I am rich unless rich toward thee,
or that I am wise unless wise unto salvation.
May I seek first thy kingdom and its righteousness.
May I value things in relation to eternity.
May my spiritual welfare be my chief solicitude.
May I be poor, afflicted, despised and have
thy blessing,
rather than be successful in enterprise,
or have more than my heart can wish,
or be admired by my fellow-men,
if thereby these things make me forget thee.
May I regard the world as dreams, lies, vanities,
vexation of spirit,
and desire to depart from it.
And may I seek my happiness in thy favour,
image, presence, service.

A prayer from "The Valley of Vision"

Hello Linda

It is not God's will for us to be in an abusive marriage. Either physical or otherwise. The wise and safe thing to do is to leave, and for the abuser to agree to enlist in some corrective therapy. Unless the abuser is willing to do this to save the marriage, then it is foolish to return.

The church is not doing it's duty in providing support for the abused.

As to sanctification, thanks for the link which l am looking through. It is impossible for man, but it us God's will for us and He desires it as much as us.

If it feels like stepping off the edge of a cliff, do not fear, His arms are ready to catch you. He will not ask you to do anything that is not for your good. And anyway, you never lose the ability to use your own will.

Although God does it, your place is to prepare yourself by cutting out those things in your life that you know are wrong including unforgiveness of others. Prepare the channels and rest in Him and He will bring the streams of living water.

God bless you.

Good word, Brenda.

Pnutty, very interesting table of contents especially for a Jesuit. Those are provocative titles for each chapter. Makes me want to read some of them and I will. I would like to see where he is coming from.

Thank you Savannah. I have that Puritan prayer book. I dont read it nearly enough.

Brenda thank you for such kindness. I could not make this thing happen in over 20 years. The fact that it has happened tells me not to upset it. Not to go back. Go forward and trust my sweet Jesus. Do the practical of job, and washing dishes and dont think I gotta figure out everything.



Julius21 may your dips into this book bring you much light!

_________________
Linda

Thank you, Pnutty.

I think the way to receive more light is to stay open minded and teachable towards all men and take each man on his own words. So, I think it will be interesting to read his writings and if I recognize truth I am not afraid to receive it.

My copy is completely different than the one here. Years ago I found a scanned copy of the old book that I downloaded and had printed out and made a book for myself at the office store.

I was going to cut and paste a section I wanted to put here but it is so different in SI pdf!

I am going to search and see if I can find it again and link here.
https://archive.org/stream/abandonmentorabs00caus#page/n3/mode/2up

Here it is! But the pdf is blank, and I dont know the other downloads. So compare and see which reads better to you.

If you turn to page 172 by Boussuet, it is a simplified how to do it I like very much. But why I posted this originally, I still do not know how, I really want to, and yet fail fail fail.

_________________
Linda