You're words are well spoke, wise and received by me as such.

i'm awake as well,been since midnite, reading this very thread, and to YOU, I humbly apologize for "taking it off the tracks", that wasn't right.

what I write next, is neither "excuse" or "justification" for wronging YOU, which I am VERY contrite about. Saints that actually KNOW me, here at SI, will tell I speak from the heart, and what I write next is from the heart: when I was 7, and my beloved grandmother dropped me off at synagogue to learn both Hebrew and Torah, I was so thrilled, so happy, because God has always been so REAL to me, right to this very day, this second. They didn't have to force me there, God was THERE, all around me, and with me.

To speak in Hebrew was never "foreign" to me, a second language, it would just flow off my tongue, and in accent, no hint of an American accent, it was holy language to me. Even though all the other children, were also "American Jews", I felt different from them, my heart even then was canted towards Israel.

in the back of this beautiful synagogue, built entirely of travertine (the same stone as the Wall) there was a long display case filled with antiquities from ancient Israel, and I wound spend hours back there, gazing and pondering. y heroes were men like Joseph, King Hezekiah, and King David...and they did not seem to me to be far off historical figures, but very close, very real......men to be emulated, and it occurred to me that the same blood that flowed thru my veins , flowed through theirs, we were one......and then at age 9, I saw Renais;s 28 minute B/w holocaust film , "Night and Fog".....everything changed after that....and brother David, I have much more of my heart to reveal to you, but i'm weary and very disheartened , but I do grieve I caused you grief,,,,please know that....as to these others, I will deal with them. God love you