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Joined: 2009/11/7
Posts: 1479


You probably should try to contact them through Brother Dean who made that great Moravian documentary or ask Greg about contacts. We have members here on SI who are part of those fellowships as well, maybe they can lend a hand. My personal knowledge is very limited.

 2016/2/24 21:55Profile

Joined: 2008/9/14
Posts: 801


Thanks for yall's prayers. The Lord said the same thing to me yesterday afternoon, brother Blaine--seek first the Kingdom.

 2016/2/25 7:24Profile

Joined: 2004/7/7
Posts: 7486



I am not so sure I can be of any help in finding a wife for someone I do not know...

But do have a couple suggestions...find a trusted pastor, someone who has a heart for people, who believes in the permanence of marriage and share with him your desire for a wife. He might could help you.

I would also suggest you frequent retreats where godly people gather. Lots of so-called Christian retreats but not godly - big difference.

The reality is I know very few older single ladies and the ones (2 of them)I know are our nieces. The one is not interested in marriage and if she would be you would have to join her church. The other is older...

Keep trusting the LORD and see what he will bring to past. If He wants you married He will bring it to pass.

BTW...Greg also dealt with this issue...ya might want to ask him!



Sandra Miller

 2016/2/25 22:02Profile

Joined: 2009/11/7
Posts: 1479


Thanks for sharing Sandra. I guess I had in mind the types of things you shared. I've appreciated the council you've given me and the insight on married life you've shared on the forum.

I fear idealism can interfere where if the Lord has not made a clear choice or we have not a close match we can substitute these. Often these idealizations can act as excuses for rejecting the eligible people around us and rather than acting in love toward the whole body. I have to admit that I have experienced this when there were eligible sisters around that either I wasn't attracted to or had considered, prayed about it and didn't have the peace to pursue them.

In my limited experience I've found that "getting involved" is a tool that Christian young women use to try to get noticed. I remember reading the biography of James Elliot, how he served with a fellowship before heading to the mission field. A group of young women were very attentive to his teaching but when they found out about his relationship with Elizabeth, the interest waned. Based on the tone of the text, it came across to me that Elizabeth was a bit jealous. It just that their motives were mixed and God made it clear.

An example I've witnessed a few times are sisters who play piano. These sisters may faithfully serve and even be more modest than most and otherwise shamefaced. Now this is worth paying attention to because there are likely several other brethren that can fill that role so it is likely an elder sister advised her that it was a great way to be seen. Simply being in the flower of youth will get you seen.

Maybe some of the sisters can illuminate further about the pressures versus reality. Our tendency while searching and courting is to know each other after the soul, or flesh, rather than the spirit.

 2016/2/26 8:07Profile

Joined: 2005/2/24
Posts: 3305


I was married for almost 40 years, I'm now a widower, you want to know how I found my wife? I wasn't looking for a wife, that's just my little 2 cents on the subject. :-)


 2016/2/26 11:20Profile


Look for a sister who does not think she is incomplete without a husband or is spending time looking for a way to attract one. Look for one who is actively engaged in blazing a trail for the Lord and ministering to people. One who knows her place in Christ. Jackie Pullinger is a great example of someone who did not wait around and pine for a husband but pursued the will of God for her life. This is the kind of Christian woman you want to find.

Find one whose character has been tested and is being tested and one who is being obedient to God's calling in their life.

Pro_31:30 Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.

 2016/2/26 11:44

Joined: 2006/7/31
Posts: 3057



I know of some young sisters in the LORD who are single but they are not actively looking to marry. I believe they have felt led that it is better to remain single and devote their time and energy to the LORD. Their view of marriage has actually taught me much, in that they don't wish to find someone for selfish reasons or to fulfill their own desires but rather want to live for the LORD in all that they do. They believe that two are brought together in marriage to work as one and better serve the KINGDOM. If GOD has that for them then HIS will be done but if they remain single serving JESUS they are content to live in HIM. They have such strength and joy in the LORD that has touched my own heart.

I will be praying for you in this and that HIS will be done in your life. Some brothers have shared on this matter advise young men to seek first the KINGDOM of GOD and trust in HIM. Spend time in the LORD and examine what your motivation for wanting to marry is? Ask HIM to show you if your view of marriage is in line with HIS? Then just allow HIM to work in your life daily. Seek to be about HIS KINGDOM, don't be looking to find a wife trust that if HE has that for you it will happen. Then be content to live in HIM regardless if you ever marry or not.

God bless

 2016/2/26 11:55Profile


The Rebecca model.

Approaching the city, Eleazar stopped at a well. It was approaching evening, the time when the women usually came to draw water. Eleazar began to pray to God. He said, "O Lord God of my master Abraham, I pray Thee, send me good speed this day, and show kindness unto my master Abraham. Behold, I stand here by the well of water, and the daughters of the men of the city come out to draw water. And let it come to pass, that the maiden to whom I shall say, ‘Let down thy pitcher, I pray thee that I may drink’ and she shall say, ‘Drink, and I will give thy camels drink also:’ let the same be she that thou hast appointed for Thy servant Isaac; and thereby shall I know that Thou hast showed kindness unto my master."

Eleazar had just finished the prayer when a beautiful maiden with a pitcher on her shoulders came to the well, drew water, and started back. Eleazar ran to her and said, "Let me, I pray thee, drink a little water of thy pitcher."

The maiden said, "Drink, my lord." And right away she lowered the pitcher from her shoulder, and gave him to drink. When Eleazar had drunk, the maiden said, "I will draw water for thy camels also, until they have done drinking." She straightway poured the water from her pitcher into the trough and ran again to the well to draw water, and drew water for all his camels. Eleazar watched her in silence and amazement.

Eleazar did not know if she was wealthy and there is no mention of him being captivated by her beauty. She was unselfish and more importantly, an answer to prayer.

Young people often look for the following things in marriage:
1. Wealth
2. Beauty
3. A good family to marry into.

What people often overlook:
1. Wisdom
2. Meek heart (internal, spiritual beauty)
3. The Cross operating in someone's life. Unselfishness.

What to do?
1. Fervently pray that the Lord, the "knower of hearts", will arrange your marriage, for then it will be blessed with His Grace. Without God’s blessing no one can find happiness and peace in their marriage and more importantly the will of God.

 2016/2/26 12:26

Joined: 2007/1/15
Posts: 365

 Re: How am I supposed to find a Wife?

I can certainly attest to the fact that its best to wait on the Lord in the matter. Back in college, when I started to ask the Lord about a marriage partner, the Scripture I received was, 'delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart'. I understood it to mean I was not to fret about the matter but to love the Lord and be about His business. In His own good time, if He had a man for me, He would make it happen.
A few years prior, a godly older sister had counseled me to pray FOR my future husband. I only yielded because I trusted her wise counsel seeing I was a freshman with no thoughts of marriage. My course of study would take 6+ years. Well, let's just say the more I prayed for him, the more I prayed for him! I prayed about everything and anything that had to do with this man I had never met! His walk with the Lord, his work, his health, his friends, his family [especially his mother, haha!]etc.
By the end of all that praying, I KNEW I would know him if/when I met him. It was as though, a spiritual picture of this man had formed within me.
Fast forward, study is winding down, then I get that Scripture.
At some point, I attend a Christian conference [back when such conferences had the sweet dew of His presence] and on the final night, I met a young man through a pair of gentlemen whom neither of us know or remember! To top it off, he really didn't want to come to the conference but did so by the prompting from within.
Said young man and I became friends. I tell you, Christian nerds are the best kind of nerds!
Over time, it dawned on me this was the man I had prayed for years ago. Took him even longer to get it but I just sat still knowing he would.
He did.

The moral of the story? Jesus knows where all the parts of His body are. He sure knows how to connect them. If He needs you to be at a certain place, He'll lead you there. Be busy with Him, He'll sort out the rest.
Peace to you, brother.


 2016/2/26 17:25Profile

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