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Discussion Forum : General Topics : Why Your Children Annoy You and Homemaking is Boring

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followthelamb
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 Why Your Children Annoy You and Homemaking is Boring

Lord, strengthen us with might in the inner man by Your Spirit to be the mothers You've called us to be in these last days...

"I think often about that woman in the Bible, the woman hanging out in Proverbs 31, the model for a godly woman. She does many things, wears many hats.

But one thing she does well, one thing is her priority: her home, husband and children. Her other pursuits fall around that.

“She looks well to the ways of her home, she is not idle…” Prov. 31:27

Somewhere along the way, a few generations back, the priority of homes, children and husbands took a backseat to promised fulfillment. Women became lured by the sirens of career, accolades and accomplishment, and the daily, hard, sleeve-rolling work became more mundane and distasteful in light of the exciting, interesting activity available. Women became distracted from their families because, quite frankly, family work is lackluster.

That was disconcerting enough.

But something looms dangerously familiar, now, even in homes where for a time, women had returned as stout, home-builders. I’m seeing it over the Internet, I’m hearing it from young mothers around me: “This job is hard. Too hard, in fact, and I don’t think I’m where I’m supposed to be. And Jesus would want me to be happy, so that settles it.”

We have an old problem with a new enemy.

“Because frankly, I’d rather surf the Internet than clean my floors. And while I’m surfing the Internet, that child who needs me? He becomes an irritation, not a ministry.”

And it may be far more complicated than my black and white conclusion, but I think an unsuspected enemy has played a huge role in luring women, again, from embracing, Proverbs 31-style, the duties of home and family.

(Hiding from tomatoes now…)

The Internet.

Don’t go crazy on me. I love the Internet. (Actually, it’s more of a love/hate.) I run a home business from the Internet. I’ve met new, wonderful friends from the Internet. I research, learn, collect educational tools and look up recipes on the Internet. I diagnose sickness, watch spectacular documentaries and use the thesaurus on the Internet. My daughter is learning to play guitar, for free, and my son runs an art business on the Internet. I shop, compare prices, saving gas and money, print business cards and keep in touch on the Internet. The Internet has opened up possibilities never before imagined and I’m so thankful for this tool!

But its lure is distracting us. See, the Internet is very exciting. There are fun Pinterest ideas that at least make me feel crafty. There are articles galore and blogs that help me grow. There are fabulous pictures, funny videos and of course, a whole community on Facebook where we not only get to keep up with everything that’s going on, but we get to project our goings-on onto other people, and for the first time, for some, feel validated, important.

The Internet is addictingly f.u.n.

And this excitement does something terrible:

the same thing other distractions in history have done to our fore-mothers (Days of Our Lives, General Hospital–yeah, those were our mom’s escapes)–it makes our children, our husbands and our daily work boring, tedious and frustrating.

This excitement is why your children annoy you and homemaking is boring.

Because frankly, I’d rather surf the Internet than clean my floors. And while I’m surfing the Internet, that child who needs me? He becomes an irritation, not a ministry. “Just a minute.” Or worse, the irritation in my voice when he simply asked a question. Yeah, you know.

If I’m feeling down, the Internet is there to take my mind off of it. And if I feel I’m failing at child-training, I can post stuff on Facebook that looks like I’m not, and for a moment, I might believe it.

I can escape. Be entertained. Forget. Put off. Avoid work. Wave my children away. Feed a vast cavern that yearns to be filled–but only contentment in Christ can really fill.

You’re not alone.

If this hurts, you’re not alone. The Lord is dealing deeply with me about how to use this incredible tool that has potential to absolutely destroy all I hold dear. And I’m thinking of my own children, and how what plagues one generation, tends to be heightened and become so familiar we don’t recognize the damage, in the next.

I want to enjoy the simplicity of my life, complete with the work I don’t like and the routine that is not Pinterest-worthy.

I want to be in tune with my children so that when they need me, I can answer with patience and readiness. I want to be ready to hear my husband when he comes home and show him I’m fully his.

I don’t want the pseudo-fulfillment of the Internet to convince me my life isn’t enough and my family is secondary.

I pray this for us all. And I challenge you older women: let’s get behind the younger mamas and cheer them on, help them stay the course and see the purpose in their prosaic lives...."

- Kelly Crawford


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SI Moderator - Brandy Gordon

 2015/8/4 18:40Profile
Theophila
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 Re: Why Your Children Annoy You and Homemaking is Boring

Thank you so much for sharing this very timely message.

May we have ears to hear what the Spirit is saying to the churches, amen.


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Tolu

 2015/8/4 22:20Profile
Jeremy221
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 Re: Why Your Children Annoy You and Homemaking is Boring

I fear the dear sister who wrote this has not spent much time in Ecclesiastes. You don't need the Internet, TV, the telephone, magazines, newspapers, or novels to be covetous and uncontent. As soon as there were two women, they were comparing themselves to each other to prove their superiority. Proverbs 31 says that the women who fears the Lord is to be praised. If a woman is fearing the Lord she is also not comparing herself with other women because she desires the praise that only comes from the Father. She doesn't need FaceBook to boast about her latest craft, trip, or piece of clothing. She can be like Christ who separated Himself from the people who wanted to make Him king because He knew what was in man.

I find it strange that in this post that Mrs. Crawford only spends half a sentence on the solution. If she really sees Christ as the solution, why did she spend more time on what finding fulfillment in Him is like.

A second thing to note is that selling books is her business. In fact, the post is a promotion for a book by a sister named Keri Lamar.

Quote:
(My thoughts on this subject have been newly inspired by a fabulous book, coming soon, entitled Present, by Keri Lamar. Watch for it!)



My question is whether Christ, the Holy Spirit and the brethren God has given you are enough? Are you going to set an example of seeking the Lord and asking older sisters to share their wisdom? You don't need a woman that is making merchandise of you to build her name and business.

 2015/8/5 8:00Profile
TMK
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 Re:

I thought the OP made excellent points and I believe she is right on - for women as well as men because we are just as guilty.

But I think Jeremy makes a good point. One of my main beefs about a whole lot of evangelical articles is that they are great at identifying problems but generally very poor at offering practical solutions that people can latch onto. How does a person conquer "internet addiction?" What steps can be taken? What verses can be meditated on? How should we pray? Etc etc etc


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Todd

 2015/8/5 8:28Profile
Sree
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 Re:

I think the article's purpose is to just point out the enemy that is making the God given work for women a boredom. The writer also says that she is also having the same problem. So how can she give a solution? She instead prays for all of them who go through the same.

My wife who is a homemaker now, has done masters from a top American University, she was employed in a better position and salary than I, but after our first Child, she chose to be a mother at home. But she also struggles at time with the routine work of taking care of home.

This article will help her identify the agents that caused her to find the God given task boring.


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Sreeram

 2015/8/5 9:10Profile
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 Re:

Sree-

Your post made me think- perhaps some if not many of God given tasks ARE boring. Doing these tasks cheerfully is part of taking up our cross as you mention in the other thread. We do not need to be perpetually entertained but our cyber world has created very short attention spans.


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Todd

 2015/8/5 10:21Profile
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 Re:

I meant to add that when "virtual reality" is perfected and readily available things will only get worse.


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Todd

 2015/8/5 10:22Profile
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 Re:

Quote:

Your post made me think- perhaps some if not many of God given tasks ARE boring. Doing these tasks cheerfully is part of taking up our cross as you mention in the other thread.



Agreed that many of God given activities do not guarantee to be entertaining or pleasant all the time. But it is also written that God loves a Cheerful giver.

God does not expect us to bite our teeth and take up the cross. He can make it pleasant. But it is the job of Satan to make them boring.

Jesus called Peter Satan when he tried to turn Jesus from taking up his cross (Matthew 16:23)! But he called Judas 'friend' when he came to betray Jesus (Matthew 26:47). Why? because Judas was leading Jesus towards the cross. Jesus was happy that he was being hastened to take up the cross!

So our real enemy is those that makes us feel the God given Job boring or dull. Or turn our attention from God given Job. Jesus knew who his real enemy was. Any man in flesh would not have guts to call a disciple like Peter a Satan. But Jesus was spirit lead.


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Sreeram

 2015/8/5 10:55Profile
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 Re:

TAKING THE INITIATIVE AGAINST DRUDGERY
By Oswald Chambers

Arise, shine… —Isaiah 60:1

When it comes to taking the initiative against drudgery, we have to take the first step as though there were no God. There is no point in waiting for God to help us— He will not. But once we arise, immediately we find He is there. Whenever God gives us His inspiration, suddenly taking the initiative becomes a moral issue— a matter of obedience. Then we must act to be obedient and not continue to lie down doing nothing. If we will arise and shine, drudgery will be divinely transformed.

Drudgery is one of the finest tests to determine the genuineness of our character. Drudgery is work that is far removed from anything we think of as ideal work. It is the utterly hard, menial, tiresome, and dirty work. And when we experience it, our spirituality is instantly tested and we will know whether or not we are spiritually genuine. Read John 13. In this chapter, we see the Incarnate God performing the greatest example of drudgery— washing fishermen’s feet. He then says to them, “If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet” (John 13:14). The inspiration of God is required if drudgery is to shine with the light of God upon it. In some cases the way a person does a task makes that work sanctified and holy forever. It may be a very common everyday task, but after we have seen it done, it becomes different. When the Lord does something through us, He always transforms it. Our Lord takes our human flesh and transforms it, and now every believer’s body has become “the temple of the Holy Spirit” (1 Corinthians 6:19).


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Todd

 2015/8/5 11:16Profile





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