Poster | Thread |
| Oh Death Where is Your Sting! A Poem | | I just finished writing this poem and thought I would share it here. If you choose to read it, once you are finished, could you let me know if it is easy to read (meaning is it easy to stay in rhythm) or is it difficult to read and keep the flow. I am just trying to figure out if the written version is good enough or if I need to put together an audio/video version.
Thanks for your time!
Jason Holman - (For those who may remember, long ago I was logged in under the name PJ)
DEATH WHERE IS YOUR STING - By Jason Holman
OH DEATH I TAUNT- WHERE IS YOUR STING YOU SIT UP HIGH - AS IF A KING YES YOU HAVE POWER - BUT NONE TWORDS ME CAUSE FROM YOUR GRIP - I’VE BEEN SET FREE
SO NOW YOU WONDER - HOW IT’S TRUE THAT SOMEONE HAS ESCAPED FROM YOU YOUR CHAINS WERE TIGHT - YOUR LOCKS HELD FAST JUST WHAT WENT WRONG - I HEAR YOU ASK
PLEASE TAKE A SEAT - WE’LL HAVE A CHAT AND I WILL GLADLY ANSWER THAT WHEN ALL’S BEEN SAID - AND END IS REACHED YOU’LL KNOW JUST HOW YOUR WALLS WERE BREACHED
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IN VAULTS CALLED TIME IS HISTORY KEPT ADAM WOKE WHILE YOU STILL SLEPT FIRST CONSCIOUS MAN - FIRST HUMAN BIRTH FIRST SON OF GOD TO WALK THE EARTH
DEEP BLUE SKY - THICK GREEN SOD MORNING WALKS ALONG WITH GOD GREAT DAYS OF JOY - GREAT DAYS OF PEACE BUT ALL TO SOON THOSE DAYS WOULD CEASE
THE RULE WAS ONE - BUT VERY CLEAR ENJOY YOURSELF- BUT DON’T GO NEAR THE TREE HAS KNOWLEDGE YOU DON’T NEED OBEY MY VOICE - OH PLEASE TAKE HEED
IGNORE MY VOICE - YOU LOSE IT ALL MY SPIRIT LEAVES - YOUR WORLD WILL FALL THE CHOICE I GIVE- IT’S YOUR’S TO MAKE BUT CHOOSE THE WRONG - AND DEATH WILL WAKE
AND SO WE KNOW THAT ADAM FELL THEN YOU AWOKE ALONG WITH HELL WITH GREEDY HANDS AND LUSTFUL EYES ADAM’S SEED BECAME YOUR PRIZE
YOU TOOK YOUR SPOIL AND SHUT THEM IN YOU WERE THE PAYMENT FOR THERE SIN MAN’S DAYS WOULD NOW BE LIVED IN FEAR ALWAYS HOPING YOU WEREN’T NEAR
AND SO THE YEARS PASSED BY AND BY MEN WERE BORN AND MEN WOULD DIE THIS SEEMED TO BE THE STORY’S SUM BUT GOD SAID WAIT - THERE’S MORE TO COME
THEN IN A WAY THAT FEW CAN SEE GOD GAVE A MAN A GAURANTEE AND WITH SOME STUDY AND EXAM YOU’LL SEE THAT THIS WAS ABRAHAM
TO ABRAHAM WAS PROMISE SAID YOU’LL RISE UP SOMEDAY FROM THE DEAD AND NOW THE QUESTION COULD BEGIN IT’S NOT AN IF BUT ONLY WHEN
THE WORLD STILL TURNED AND TIME STILL CREPT BUT NO HINT OF THE PROMISE KEPT AND JUST AS HOPE BEGAN DECLINE GOD MOVED AGAIN FOR ABRAM’S LINE
A COVENANT MADE AND LAW WAS GIVEN BUT SINS PRICE WAS NOT FORGIVEN IGNORANCE COULD BE CLAIMED NO LONGER LAW MADE YOU DEATH EVEN STRONGER
AND SO YOUR SEAT OF POWER GREW IT MUST HAVE SEEMED LIKE GOD WAS THROUGH BUT THIS IDEA WAS WRONGLY THOUGHT FOR THROUGH WAS ONE THING GOD WAS NOT
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ONE THING IS CLEAR IN HISTORY’S TAIL KINGDOMS RISE THEN KINGDOMS FAIL AND THOUGH YOU FELT ABOVE THEM ALL THE TIME HAD COME FOR YOURS TO FALL
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HEAVEN STIRRING - ANGELS RISE SIGNS NOW SHOWING IN THE SKIES STAGE NOW SET AND CURTAINS DRAWN THE REIGN OF LIFE ABOUT TO DAWN
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AT FIRST HE SEEMED LIKE ANY OTHER CHILD BORN TO GLOWING MOTHER ONE MORE LIFE IN YOUR DOMAIN ONE MORE SOUL TO FEEL YOUR PAIN
BUT HERE-IN LIES YOUR FIRST MISTAKE THIS CHILD WAS NOT YOURS TO TAKE THOUGH THROUGH THE WOMB THIS BOY WAS GOT ADAMS SEED THIS CHILD WAS NOT
BUT HE INSTEAD WAS FROM GOD’S LINE FREE FROM SIN AND ADAM’S FINE SO DEATH YOU SEE THAT IT IS TRUE THAT THIS MAN OWED NO DEBT TO YOU
BUT THIS WAS MORE THAN YOU COULD STAND HE MUST FALL BENEATH YOUR HAND TO YOUR THRONE HE MUST COME UNDER MAKE HIM REPEAT ADAM’S BLUNDER
SO YOU LED HIM TO THE TREE HOPING HE WOULD ALSO SEE THE LOVELY FRUIT - NICE TO THE EYES GOOD TO EAT AND MAKE ONE WISE
THOUGH HE WAS TEMPTED - HE STAYED STRONG HE CHOSE THE GOOD AND SHUNNED THE WRONG AND NOW THE FACT WAS CLEAR TO SEE YOUR SERVANT HE WOULD NEVER BE
BUT THEN AN UNEXPECTED DEED SHOOK YOUR WORLD AND FED YOUR GREED THE EARTH STOOD STILL AND ALL HELL SMILED AS GOD GAVE YOU HIS ONLY CHILD
HIS REASON NEVER CROSSED YOUR MIND YOUR LUST TO STRIKE HAD MADE YOU BLIND WITH RAGE AND FURRY NOW UNMASKED YOU CARRIED OUT YOUR MORBID TASK
IDEAS TO KILL WERE AT NO LOSS REEDS AND WHIPS AND THEN THE CROSS ONE FINAL BLOW YOU GAVE GOD’S SON AND JUST LIKE THAT YOUR DEED WAS DONE
WITH EGO NOW INCREASED IN SIZE YOU ASK A FRIEND TO GUARD YOUR PRIZE AND SO HE LOCKED HIM IN HIS CELL SOME CALL HIM GRAVE - SOME CALL HIM HELL
YOU KNEW THE GRAVE COULD HOLD MEN TIGHT THE SINS THEY’D DONE GAVE HIM THIS RIGHT BUT THIS YOU FAILED TO KEEP IN MIND A SIN IN HIM YOU COULD NOT FIND
AND SINCE THE GOD OF ALL WAS FAIR HE COULDN’T LEAVE HIS CHILD THERE HE TASTED DEATH - HE DRANK THE CUP THE TIME HAD COME TO RAISE HIM UP
AND WITH A VOICE BOTH LOUD AND STRONG GOD SANG THE RESURECTION SONG THOU ART MY SON LET ALL MEN SEE THIS DAY HAVE I BEGOTTEN THEE
AND JUST LIKE THAT - THE STORY’S TOLD THE GRAVE RELEASED HIS HEAVY HOLD THE MAN YOU SLEW NOW FILLED WITH BREATH NO MORE TO TASTE OF YOU OH DEATH
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BUT NOW THE QUESTION COMES TO CALL WHY LET THE SON TASTE DEATH AT ALL WAS THIS ALL JUST A USELESS GAME A STUNT WITHOUT A POINT TO NAME
A USELESS GAME THIS ACT WAS NOT BUT THOUGH THIS ACT WAS VICTORY GOT FOR ALL OF THOSE FROM ABRAMS TREE WERE NOW FROM CHAINS OF DEATH SET FREE
BUT HOW YOU ASK CAN ONE MAN’S DEED EFFECT THE WHOLE OF ABRAMS SEED JUST ONE MAN DIED - JUST ONE MAN ROSE YET LIFE UNTO THE MANY FLOWS?
IT IS A RIDDLE I CONFESS BUT ONE THAT HAS BEEN SOLVED NO LESS A CLUE I GIVE YOU AS I CRY IN MARRIAGE DOES THE ANSWERE LIE
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IN EARLY DAYS OF GARDEN LIFE GOD CREATED MAN A WIFE FROM ADAM’S RIB FROM ADAM’S SIDE GOD GAVE MAN HIS HELP AND BRIDE
QUICKLY ADAM BROUGHT HER NEAR AND THEN ANNOUNCED FOR HER TO HEAR “FROM MY BONE YOU CAME TO BE YOU’RE OF MY FLESH YOU’RE PART OF ME
AND EVEN THOUGH IT’S ME AND YOU GOD DOSEN’T COUNT US AS A TWO FOR WHEN A HUSBAND TAKES A WIFE THE TWO BECOME A SINGLE LIFE”
THIS IS THE RULE THAT GOD HAD MADE AND BY IT WAS THE FOOTING LAID IT’S BY THIS LAW – THIS LEGAL TOWER THAT THE WORK OF CHRIST HAS POWER
IF YOU TAKE AWAY THIS CLAUSE HIS DEATH NO LONGER HAS A CAUSE I TELL YOU TRUTH - I SPEAK NO LIE IT’S BY THIS LAW I WILL NOT DIE
NOW DEATH I SEE YOU DOUBT MY SPEECH BUT PLEASE REMAIN AND LET ME TEACH I’LL DO THE BEST THAT I CAN DO TO MAKE THIS MYSTERY PLAIN TO YOU
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IN TIME BEFORE IN DAYS GONE BY I TRULY WAS A FOOLISH GUY I SPOKE OF GOD AND CALLED HIM LORD BUT ONLY TO RECEIVE REWARD
AS I LOOK BACK THE PICTURE’S CLEAR I HAD NO LOVE - I HAD NO FEAR TOWARDS THE MAKER OF THE SEA REBELLION’S ALL THAT FLOWED FROM ME
BUT THEN THE GOD OF MERCY CAME AND IN HIS KINDESS CALLED MY NAME HE SAID “REPENT AND TURN AROUND YOU’RE LOST OH MAN BUT CAN BE FOUND
IT’S TIME TO CHOOSE THE GOOD AND RIGHT AND FOLLOW ME WITH ALL YOUR MIGHT MAKE ME LORD AND LET ME REIGN WITHOUT PURSUIT OF SELFISH GAIN”
AND JUST LIKE THAT I SAW MY FLAW THEN TURNED AND MADE HIM LORD OF ALL MY CHOICE WAS FIRM - MY CHOICE WAS SOUND NO WAVERING COULD IN ME BE FOUND
AND WITH THIS CHOICE GOD TOOK DELIGHT HE DANCED AND SANG IN ANGELS SIGHT IT REALLY WAS A SIGHT TO SEE TO THINK THAT THAT WAS ALL FOR ME
BUT THOUGH HIS FAVOR I HAD GAINED ADAMS CHILD I REMAINED AND AS A PART OF ADAM’S RACE MY DEBT TO DEATH WAS STILL IN PLACE
BUT OF MY FATE GOD WASN’T BLIND HE KNEW THAT IT WAS ON MY MIND AND SO HE CAME TO ME AND SPAKE THE WORDS THAT WOULD STIR HOPE AWAKE
HE SAID “DEAR CHILD - TO YOU I GIVE A WAY TO DIE - AND YET STILL LIVE” I ASK HIM HOW COULD THIS BE DONE AND NEXT HE TOOK ME TO HIS SON
I MET THE SON AND QUICKLY KNEW THAT LOYALTY TO HIM WAS DUE HE WAS THE KING BY GOD’S DECREE SO UNTO HIM I BOWED MY KNEE
I PLEDGED MY LOVE – I KISSED HIS HAND I SAID “YOUR WISH IS MY COMMAND” HE WAS THE KING WHOM I WOULD SERVE AND FROM THAT VOW I WOULD NOT SWERVE
AND THEN THIS KING OF UNTOLD FAME STOOD ME UP AND SPOKE MY NAME HE SAID THAT HE WAS PLEASED TO SEE MY HEART OF LOVE AND LOYALTY
WITH JOYFUL EYES THAT DID NOT DIM HE SAID THAT I WAS ONE WITH HIM “THROUGH MARRIAGE WE ARE NOW ONE FLESH THE OLD IS GONE AND ALL IS FRESH
ALL I HAVE I SHARE WITH YOU FOR IS THAT NOT WHAT HUSBANDS DO SO MANY THINGS I WILL PROVIDE FOR YOU WHO I NOW CALL MY BRIDE”
THEN AS HE SPOKE THIS FINAL WORD A MIGHTY CHANGE IN ME OCCURRED YOUR CHAINS OH DEATH FELL TO MY FEET AND ALL MY FEARS TOOK QUICK RETREAT
I FOUND MY SELF IN JOY ARRAYED I KNEW MY DEBT TO YOU WAS PAYED AND THAT OH DEATH IS HOW IT’S TRUE THAT THIS MAN HAS ESCAPED FROM YOU
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BUT HERE WE ARE AT STORY’S END AND YET YOU FAIL TO COMPREHEND SO YOU ASK ME TO EXPLAIN HOW MARRIAGE FREED ME FROM YOUR CHAIN
TO YOUR REQUEST I WILL COMPLY IT’S NOT EASY BUT I’LL TRY MORE WORDS I CRAFT AND ENGINEER IN HOPE TO MAKE THIS MYSTERY CLEAR
YOU SEE OH DEATH – WHEN MARRIAGE CAME I JOINED WITH CHRIST AND TOOK HIS NAME NOW I’M IN CHRIST AND HE’S IN ME AND HERE IN LIES THE GOSPEL’S KEY
FOR WHEN UPON THE CROSS HE DIED I WAS THERE WITHIN HIS SIDE AND AS HE DIED – I DIED TOO AND THEREFORE PAID MY DEBT TO YOU
NOW HAD I DIED UPON MY OWN FOREVER IN THE GRAVE I’D GROAN BUT THAT WAS NOT THE CASE FOR ME I DIED WITH ONE WHO OWED NO FEE
AND SO THE GOD WHO LOVED HIS SON CAUSED YOUR DEED TO BE UNDONE HE SANG THE RESURECTION SONG AND AS CHRIST ROSE – I TAGGED ALONG
FIRST BORN AS ADAM’S SEED WAS I BUT THEN WITH CHRIST I WENT TO DIE NEXT I ROSE AND THAT IS WHEN THIS CHILD OF EARTH WAS BORN AGAIN
SO HERE I AM ALIVE AFRESH BUT NO LONGER AS ADAM’S FLESH ADAMS SON IS DEAD AND GONE HIS SINFUL WAYS WILL NOT LIVE ON
BUT NOW I LIVE AS GOD OWN SEED FOR IS THIS NOT WHAT GOD DECREED? WHEN HE RAISED CHRIST FROM THE DEAD THOU ART MY SON IS WHAT HE SAID
AND SINCE THE CHRIST AND I ARE ONE THE WORDS GOD SPOKE MADE ME HIS SON SO I CAN SHOUT – IT’S NOT A LIE A FULL FLEDGED CHILD OF GOD AM I
ETERNAL LIFE IS NOW MY CLAIM IT’S CARRIED IN MY FAMILY NAME WE THINK OF YOU AND HAVE NO FEAR FOR YOU OH DEATH CANNOT COME NEAR
OH DEATH IT’S TRUE MY FLESH WILL FADE AND IN THE GROUND I WILL BE LAID BUT THIS IS NOT A LONG TERM STATE IT’S JUST MY BED AS I AWATE
SOME DAY THE TO ONE WHOM I’M BOUND WILL COME TO EARTH WITH TRUMPET SOUND AND TO THAT SOUND I WILL ARISE TO TAKE MY PART IN HEAVENS PRIZE
MY FLESH OF DUST WILL BE NO MORE BUT GOD HAS GREATER THINGS IN STORE SOWN IN WEAKNESS – RAISED IN POWER CORRUPTION CAN NO MORE DEVOUR
I’LL JOIN THE WHOLE OF ABRAMS SEED MY BROTHERS WHO WERE ALSO FREED AND ON OCCASION WE WILL SING OH DEATH OH DEATH WHERE IS YOUR STING?
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2014/11/20 23:15 | |
ThyKingCome Member
Joined: 2011/4/19 Posts: 169 Southern CA
| Re: Oh Death Where is Your Sting! A Poem | | That...was...incredible!!!!!!!
I am speechless - what a Christ-exalting way you have captured the gospel in poetry so beautifully and eloquently. Bless God! I loved the descriptive words and focus on marriage - just marvelous.
It flowed very well, and the only drawback is the length that may deter some who do not yet know the richness of the content. I would suggest making a full length version and possibly an abridged version for those who might not be able to invest the time to read the whole thing.
What a treasure the Lord has given you Jason - keep using it for His glory! _________________ Brother Kevin
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2014/11/21 11:09 | Profile |
TMK Member
Joined: 2012/2/8 Posts: 6650 NC, USA
| Re: | | I thought it was excellent.. The only stylistic thing I noticed is that I am not sure that "twords" is a proper contraction for "towards". I could be wrong but I do not recall ever seeing that before _________________ Todd
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2014/11/21 12:08 | Profile |
tbsounde2 Member
Joined: 2009/2/11 Posts: 179 Los Angeles, CA
| Re: Oh Death Where is Your Sting! A Poem | | Absolutely EPIC!!! Wow, thank you so much for sharing this! A pastor friend recently preached on this topic of how marriage and the gospel cannot be separated and you did an excellent job in expositing that truth, and through poetry of all things! God bless :) _________________ Will
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2014/11/21 16:14 | Profile |
| Re: Kevin's Input | | Thanks for the input Kevin! I too become concerned about the poems length as it progressed. When I started the poem, I had no intention of writing something of that length. It was supposed to be a poem that simply spoke to death and told him that he was ultimately defeated in my life. But as it progressed, it turned into a full length version of the gospel as I understand it told in poetic style. At this point, it would mentally be very hard on me to cut any of it out. Had I jabbered on just to make the poem longer, cutting it down might be possible. But as it was, pretty much everything that was written was done for the purpose of telling the story I wanted to tell.
Because or our world's media saturation, the attention spans of many has been reduced to nothing. Because of this, many people will not read more than a few lines before growing distracted and moving on to something else. The only real way I know to get around this problem would be to present the poem in a video format. But even then, if I didn't have dramatic music playing and didn't use fancy editing techniques, then most people would quickly grow board of listening.
This current media age is both a blessing and a curse. It's great because everyone has a way to share something the feel is important. But that is also the problem, since everyone, it seems like, is sharing something, it's likely that your own voice will soon just be lost in the crowd. |
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2014/11/22 10:46 | |
| Re: | | Quote:
I thought it was excellent.. The only stylistic thing I noticed is that I am not sure that "twords" is a proper contraction for "towards". I could be wrong but I do not recall ever seeing that before
Todd, after reading this, I thought to myself "how does a guy go through life and not know that twords is a contraction of towards" I was sure that this was common and perfectly acceptable. And since I really felt I needed one syllable instead of two in that place, it seemed like a good choice. But after your comment, I decided to support my belief with a quick google search. And oops! How I came to believe that "twords" was common and acceptable is beyond me. Google couldn't even present a search result with the word because no one uses it. And we won't mention the fact that even if it was acceptable it still would have been spelled wrong (I used tword instead of tward).
Thanks for pointing this out. I will now edit my poem accordingly. Fortunately, when I pronounce "toward," it usually comes out as one syllable. But even if others do stress the two syllables, is doesn't have much affect in that particular place.
Thanks again for pointing this out.
Jason |
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2014/11/22 11:07 | |
| Re: | | Quote:
Absolutely EPIC!!! Wow, thank you so much for sharing this! A pastor friend recently preached on this topic of how marriage and the gospel cannot be separated and you did an excellent job in expositing that truth, and through poetry of all things! God bless :)
Thank you Will for this kind response! |
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2014/11/22 11:12 | |
tbsounde2 Member
Joined: 2009/2/11 Posts: 179 Los Angeles, CA
| Re: | | JLH74 quoted:
"Because of this, many people will not read more than a few lines before growing distracted and moving on to something else."
Have you thought about spoken word? That would really bring out the fullness of the poem even more, almost like a sermon but in rhyme :) _________________ Will
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2014/11/22 13:37 | Profile |
TMK Member
Joined: 2012/2/8 Posts: 6650 NC, USA
| Re: | | I have heard some guys "rap" messages like this and it's pretty effective. If I can find one I'll post it here. _________________ Todd
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2014/11/22 17:09 | Profile |
tbsounde2 Member
Joined: 2009/2/11 Posts: 179 Los Angeles, CA
| Re: | | P4CM (Passion 4 Christ Movement) is a really good ministry the specializes in the "rap" messages, aka spoken word :)
"Allow me to re-introduce the Christ" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YNJ5oi1cw2I _________________ Will
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2014/11/22 17:16 | Profile |