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ginnyrose
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Joined: 2004/7/7
Posts: 7534
Mississippi

 Titus 2:1,2, 6-8

As I am getting close to finishing out my understanding of an older woman's task in the home, community, I want to make a few comments on the the task of older men and younger men.

Titus 2:1,2,6-8 NASB
1 But as for you, speak the things which are fitting for sound doctrine.

2 Older men are to be temperate, dignified, sensible, sound in faith, in love, in perseverance.

6 Likewise urge the young men to be sensible;

7 in all things show yourself to be an example of good deeds, [with] purity in doctrine, dignified,

8 sound [in] speech which is beyond reproach,

Consider: we are to speak that which promotes sound doctrine and then the scripture proceeds to teach how older men, women and young men are to behave! Sound doctrine and behaviors are intricately linked. You cannot separate the two. Then Titus proceeds to detail how it looks like where the rubber meets the road.

We see the character qualities that should be the norm for older men. Then in verse 2 it says "older women likewise..." Likewise - in the same manner.

In verse 6 Paul addresses the younger men by saying "likewise..." in the same manner. All are called to holiness.

Holiness is not something that is to be pursued by only old people: only old men, only old women, but all. Why is this so? Verse 8 tells us "so that the opponent will be put to shame, having nothing bad to say about us." This is why we ALL are called to holiness, being faithful in our mission as children of the most High God. This will be a powerful testimony to those that are without. It is a double tragedy when stats tell us that divorce is just as high or higher among church people then what it is in the unchurched! Many church men have failed miserably in leading their flock to holiness! We are counter-culture and as such we are to lead orderly lives. And moms, wives we have a special calling in this mix. Our lives are to be orderly - our homes are to be orderly - an unorderly home in indicative of an unordered mind. And we can not do it alone. Never forget that. It all begins by spending time before the throne, alone with the Lamb.

Our bodies are made to reproduce - once it matures you are reminded of this every month until menopause. It is not an afterthought by God - it is by design, made before the fall. It is a difficult job made more so because Eve was deceived into doubting God and acting on it. Moms, we cannot do our job alone - impossible. You will fail many times and you will get weary wondering where or what the pay will be because it is a long time a-coming. Or not at all. In any case, if God gave you children within the context He commands it to occur, He will give you the knowledge and wisdom to live each day to the full. But we have to submit to His leading - anything else will undermine your ability to function as a wife and mom. It can get very hard at times.

And...I know males have a tough job as well. If you want to know all you have to do is read how they struggle with sin, temptation, leading, teaching righteousness, holiness, loving God in all this mix. Being pure in this sin-saturated world - tough. Yet God calls them to purity in doctrine, being dignified. (Is it not interesting how the writer uses the term 'purity in doctrine'? Can one say that when this is not the case purity in mind and flesh will flounder?)

And you know what? There is nothing that cheers an older mom, grandma like seeing young men serious about serving the LORD without compromise, being dignified - standing strong in the LORD. This bring so much delight to an older mom...

Mom - stay faithful. We are called and if you fail you need to get on your knees and talk to the LORD about it and He will lift you up. This is a divine calling - let us be faithful.

(Will make more comments under the "Random.." later.)



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Sandra Miller

 2014/2/20 11:36Profile
ginnyrose
Member



Joined: 2004/7/7
Posts: 7534
Mississippi

 Making children be quiet, respecting authority

I wrote earlier on disciplining children. In rereading it I wondered why I felt compelled to address this issue again - I thought it was quite basic but perhaps it needs to be revisited to emphasize its importance in parenting.

It is a wise parent who will be sensitive to the forces that will work to undermine your authority. I said AUTHORITY - did you get it? This mean you are BOSS, you are in charge and not the children. Get that? OK...

There are two incidences recently that I became aware of and perhaps this provokes my compulsion to revisit this topic:

1. My grandson attends a Christian school. Nice facility, well trained teachers. But. The children are disorderly, still. They are noisy; hampers my grandson's studying ability - he complains about it.

2. A lady in town visited a ladies sewing circle where they invite guests from the community to join them. One of the ladies - now retired - was the public librarian for many years. She commented on how well behaved the children were. She was not aware that children could be that good - and there were a lot of them there.

Mom, you must teach your children to be able to sit quietly without fidgeting with NO entertainment. Impossible? Hard, yes, but not impossible.

I have a cousin who had a large family - I think 12 of them. Her husband thought she was too stern with them until one day she left to run an errand and he stayed home to mind them. When she came home she found him sitting in the living room reading and all the children were sitting quietly all around the room. He had a switch lying on the floor beside his chair. And they knew he would use it if they disobeyed.

One expert teaches how one can train a child to sit quietly. At a very young age place a blanket on the floor and set your child on it telling him he cannot move off of it. You may have to give him a small toy to keep him occupied - he will be very young like a year old, perhaps. Do it for five minutes and gradually increase the time to 30 minutes. A child needs to learn to sit quietly in church and not yell, be disruptive. They need to sit in the service so they can imbibe what is taught the adults - children absorb more in that context then what is imagined.

May I also suggest you do NOT allow the TV to babysit your children. All it does is entertain them. They do not learn anything worthwhile there. They do not learn how to interact with other children, get along, give and take. It destroys creativity, original thinking. Promotes restlessness in a child that unless he has something moving fast he gets bored. He needs to learn quietness.

Be careful what kind of music you play for your children. Play something that is beautiful, not what you like. I have told people that certain music is not beautiful, and they will agree but they say they 'like it.' Big difference.

Teach your child to sing, read music, sing music - do,re,mi...Many children today have been so entertained by professionals they do not think they can sing! Maybe you think you can't either, but try, learn. It is better to try and mess up then not do it at all.

I had a cousin - the sister to the one I mentioned - who also had a large family. When they went anywhere and to keep order in the car, they would sing. All these children grew up to be exceptional singers - but mom and dad were not all that good. So, you see, it can be done.

And...teach your children that you expect immediate obedience once an order is issued, being certain he understood your command. AND - you are not obligated to justify or defend your order. Ever. Don't allow the child to respond by whining or any griping. AND - do not tell your child that they frustrate, anger you - that is your fault, not theirs. You deal with it, it is not the child's responsibility.

Mom - so many children out there have no clue how to behave, be quiet, submit because their moms are in such a state of disorder that they are acting out what mom does. You do not have to reproduce this kind of person - we are counter-culture, do not forget that.

So you have failed and are in a state of disorder in your home? and how can one change it? It will require a lot of time with the LORD, asking him to enlighten you and you learning to listen to HIS voice as he will tell you what to do. But do not wait until your home is in a state of disorder - do it from the get-go. Your children will live forever - somewhere. Your job is terribly serious - don't let anyone minimize this.

The bottom line in raising disciplined children is that in doing so you are preparing them to listen to the voice of the Holy Spirit, being obedient to the WORD and being upright citizens in the community. You are not the Holy Spirit and a parent cannot force a child to follow the LORD but God has given each child a mom and a dad and together they are to raise this child to the best of their ability. Then you must sit back and let God work, praying you will not interfere in that process.

God bless.

God bless you, mom.




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Sandra Miller

 2014/2/21 9:47Profile
ginnyrose
Member



Joined: 2004/7/7
Posts: 7534
Mississippi

 Teaching Moral Purity in the Home

It seems as though whenever I feel like my posts on this thread are soon coming to an and, the LORD impresses upon my mind another subject that needs to be addressed. And this is the latest one - one I never gave any consideration until last night.

As I write about this I must tell you I have read very little about moral purity in the home, do not distinctly recall any sermons, talks on this subject. It likely has happened that I heard a talk/sermon but it must not have impressed me because I do not remember it happening. Or, maybe it is one that was entwined within the entire subject of moral purity. This likely is the case and since it is it seems like a no-brainer that it should ever be addressed separately. But I also know that one should not assume that people know - just because you do, they may not. Or, if they do have an inkling, they may need some affirmation that what they are sensing is from the LORD.

As a mom we know that we will not sit our children down one day and commence to teach them the principles of - let say, for the sake of the conversation - stealing. You do not describe to them what it is and how you will not allow it in their lives; and if they do, punishment will be forthcoming. No, a parent does not do that - it is something you just do. If your child grabs a toy away from a playmate, you will go to that child and tell him/her he needs to return it and to leave the other alone. If the child throws a fit or tantrum more drastic measures are taken. In any case, by aggressively opposing this child's misbehavior you are teaching him that robbing, stealing will result in punishment and that it is not the way to live. You are also teaching the child to respect the other person. It is a lifestyle you are teaching your child - one that respects others, and that you must learn to give and take and that personal satisfaction, wants are to be controlled. So it is with moral purity - we live it out, demonstrate it to our children.

Moral purity begins with Mom and Dad. It must be a part of who you are and how you act out purity. Consider the ways in which mom or dad may not be living morally pure:

1. Do you view porn?

2. Do you enjoy watching movies, shows, reading magazines that are suggestive?

3. Do you allow videos in your home that contains all these elements?

4. Do you frequent places where there is a public display of undress or nudity?

5. Do you oogle people's private parts?

6. Do you allow magazines, music, videos in your home that exists to feed one's lusts?

7. In your relationship to each other, are you restrained in how you touch each other when in the presence of your children?

8. Is your sex life private?

9. Are the details of your personal intimacy a private thing or are you discussing it openly?

This list will do for now.

The point of this list is to show how respect for each other's bodies is essential and not for exploitation, viewing by others. Legitimate playing is to be limited to the privacy of the couple.

More later...


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Sandra Miller

 2014/2/24 11:00Profile
ginnyrose
Member



Joined: 2004/7/7
Posts: 7534
Mississippi

 What does the WORD say?

Before I go any further with this subject I want to take a look at what the WORD has to say about immorality. We will start with the New Testament and work backwards to the OT.

Gal 5:19: Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, 20 Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, 21 Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.

There are many other NT scriptures that repeat these sentiments: immorality will doom one to hell. Revelation 21:8. However, a person can repent and be redeemed from such a lifestyle - 1Peter 4:1-6, among others.

As a parent we are aware of the bondage immorality inflicts upon its victims so therefore we are eager to protect our children from its tentacles that work ever so subtly to ensnare its victims. Let us see what the OT law had to say about it.

The OT law is fascinating. It teaches one a lot about the nature of God, human nature and how they relate to each other.

As one studies the OT law one finds how God went into much detail to teach the people what immorality is - no other prohibition is described in detail as the one that pertains to immorality. The Ten commandments say "thou shalt not commit adultery". But what is it? God in his mercy so graciously defines its meaning elsewhere. Violation of it is so serious that one could not offer any sacrifice to atone for it. The only remedy to this sin was death. There was no forgiveness by God back then. This is the only sin I am aware of in which the offender was not given a second chance [under the OT law]. I think we do well to understand the seriousness of this sin.

As this pertains to the family let us take a look at Leviticus 18:

1Then the LORD spoke to Moses, saying, 2“Speak to the sons of Israel and say to them, ‘I am the LORD your God. 3‘You shall not do what is done in the land of Egypt where you lived, nor are you to do what is done in the land of Canaan where I am bringing you; you shall not walk in their statutes. 4‘You are to perform My judgments and keep My statutes, to live in accord with them; I am the LORD your God. 5‘So you shall keep My statutes and My judgments, by which a man may live if he does them; I am the LORD.
6‘None of you shall approach any blood relative of his to uncover nakedness; I am the LORD. 7‘You shall not uncover the nakedness of your father, that is, the nakedness of your mother. She is your mother; you are not to uncover her nakedness. 8‘You shall not uncover the nakedness of your father’s wife; it is your father’s nakedness. 9‘The nakedness of your sister, either your father’s daughter or your mother’s daughter, whether born at home or born outside, their nakedness you shall not uncover. 10‘The nakedness of your son’s daughter or your daughter’s daughter, their nakedness you shall not uncover; for their nakedness is yours. 11‘The nakedness of your father’s wife’s daughter, born to your father, she is your sister, you shall not uncover her nakedness. 12‘You shall not uncover the nakedness of your father’s sister; she is your father’s blood relative. 13‘You shall not uncover the nakedness of your mother’s sister, for she is your mother’s blood relative. 14‘You shall not uncover the nakedness of your father’s brother; you shall not approach his wife, she is your aunt. 15‘You shall not uncover the nakedness of your daughter-in-law; she is your son’s wife, you shall not uncover her nakedness. 16‘You shall not uncover the nakedness of your brother’s wife; it is your brother’s nakedness. 17‘You shall not uncover the nakedness of a woman and of her daughter, nor shall you take her son’s daughter or her daughter’s daughter, to uncover her nakedness; they are blood relatives. It is lewdness. 18‘You shall not marry a woman in addition to her sister as a rival while she is alive, to uncover her nakedness.

19‘Also you shall not approach a woman to uncover her nakedness during her menstrual impurity. 20‘You shall not have intercourse with your neighbor’s wife, to be defiled with her. 21‘You shall not give any of your offspring to offer them to Molech, nor shall you profane the name of your God; I am the LORD. 22‘You shall not lie with a male as one lies with a female; it is an abomination. 23‘Also you shall not have intercourse with any animal to be defiled with it, nor shall any woman stand before an animal to mate with it; it is a perversion.

24‘Do not defile yourselves by any of these things; for by all these the nations which I am casting out before you have become defiled. 25‘For the land has become defiled, therefore I have brought its punishment upon it, so the land has spewed out its inhabitants. 26‘But as for you, you are to keep My statutes and My judgments and shall not do any of these abominations, neither the native, nor the alien who sojourns among you 27(for the men of the land who have been before you have done all these abominations, and the land has become defiled); 28so that the land will not spew you out, should you defile it, as it has spewed out the nation which has been before you. 29‘For whoever does any of these abominations, those persons who do so shall be cut off from among their people. 30‘Thus you are to keep My charge, that you do not practice any of the abominable customs which have been practiced before you, so as not to defile yourselves with them; I am the LORD your God.’” NASB

Have you noticed how many times God uses the term "uncover the nakedness of..." What does it mean - anything other then disrobing a body? Having sex with anyone? I do not think so. The WORD uses the term "lie with" or "went in unto her" when it refers to sex.

But you say, this is OT law, we no longer live under it...Would you then infer that it is ok for anyone to disrobe a female for ogling or for any other lustful reason? Are there any NT scriptures that would nullify this principle as laid out here in Leviticus 18? Let us take a look at Matthew 5:28: "But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart." Oh. Oh....Or how about 1Timothy 2:9: "In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array."

Can we understand the dynamics of what occurs when one disrobes a female body? Is it not the precursor to sex? God was explicit in his prohibition of disrobing a female. He knew where it would lead to if indulged in. God was very concerned that one will work to prevent a greater sin from occurring. Is there a principle here that we parents can learn to teach our children modesty/purity?

Since this is so long, will continue this topic later.



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Sandra Miller

 2014/2/25 18:29Profile
ginnyrose
Member



Joined: 2004/7/7
Posts: 7534
Mississippi

 Re: What does the WORD say?

As we explore the teaching of purity in the home there are a few fundamental realities one must consider.

Humans are made to reproduce. This process has its origins in the creative mind of God and he called it very good. Since it was so very good, the devil comes along and spoils it by perverting it through misuse. This is what we are concerned about - how can one protect our children from its misuse?

A child is a curious creature,loves to explore what is unknown to him. This is normal, part of the learning experience in maturing. However, there are some things that are not good for a child to know until he has the spiritual, emotional, intellectual maturity to handle. This is what we are concerned about: how does one protect a child from undue exploration?

The human body is sacred. It is the temple within which the Holy Spirit resides. It must be kept clean, free from unwarranted challenges that comes when it is abused with drugs, illicit sex. How can I teach my child these principles without arousing undue curiosity?

How does a parent teach his child[ren] these principles? Should I give a short answer or the long one? Let us go for the long one...

How about the subjects we discuss in the presence of our children? I was a teen BEFORE I ever heard the term pregnant! The expression of "being in the family way" was used but still it was an obscure one even then. I was pretty old before I knew where babies come from other then 'heaven' - so I was told. It was when I saw a sow (hog) give birth when I finally connected the dots about where human babies came from - pretty old, maybe 9 or 10 - something like that. Today moms tell their very young child they will have a baby and will allow it to touch the belly, listen to it...I cringe when I see that. I sense this knowledge is too great for a young child - this is my instinct. I know children right well, knowing the next question they will ask and even then most parents will be evasive with its answer. Whether your child is aware of where the fetus grows or not, at some level there will be evasive answers to pointed questions.

So...my suggestion is that a parent should not burden a child with information that he is too young to process. But please, reconsider about allowing the child to put his ear, his hand onto your belly to feel the growing fetus...your body is still yours and your husbands - it does NOT belong to your child. Some things should still be private.

More later - got to go to the greenhouses....



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Sandra Miller

 2014/2/26 11:36Profile
ginnyrose
Member



Joined: 2004/7/7
Posts: 7534
Mississippi

 Re: Undress in the Home

"How naked can one be in your own home?"

This is the question that I have heard many a discussion on when I was a young mother. The answer always was "that it is family and so it does not matter." Is this correct?

It was not until I started writing on this subject and I looked at Leviticus 18 and noticed difference of the terms " uncover the nakedness" as opposed to "lie with a male as one lies with a female". These terms do not refer to the same act - they are different. "Uncovering nakedness" is referring to modesty whereas "lie with" is referring to sex - never noticed that distinction before. This insight astounded me but also raised some other questions: what constitutes nakedness? How much undress constitutes nakedness? The NT is silent on its definition of the term other then saying one is to be modest and since this is the case one must look to the OT for some definition - this is a basic rule in Biblical interpretation.

As we look at the scripture in Leviticus one notices it addresses nudity among family members. Does it matter how naked we are in the presence of family? I find it interesting that it addresses family members - maybe the people back then also asked the same question that moderns did - "sure one should be modest in public but it does not matter in the home among your kinfolks."

One thing a parent must always be aware of is that our children are cute little sinners, bent on living out this this lifestyle. AND - it is our job as parents to teach them otherwise. This means we must model modesty in our homes, not allowing them to run naked or in any other state of non-dress. (We were at a home, briefly, one time where their young son ran around without a stitch of clothes - I was embarrassed.) Children are bent on exploration that which is hidden and once they become aware that some things are pleasurable they will delve deeper into things that are forbidden. We do well to insist that our children dress properly even in the privacy of the home and not allow the boys or the girls to see each other in a state of undress.

Since culture is bent on defiling our children a parent must be ever vigilant in guarding their children's purity. This will include in the choosing of their playmates. Do not assume your children's playmates have not been abused sexually. If they have been they will introduce your children to this play as well. If you know a child has been abused sexually you will want to keep a sharp eye on their play and not allow them time alone with your children anywhere. (This is a serious problem in foster care because they will continue this play with others.)

It is a very difficult job as a parent to protect our children from the onslaught of immorality out there, but we can work to prevent it from appearing in our own homes. It can appear in the form of pictures be it video, magazines or visitors. Mom, as the queen of your home you have the right to ask your guests to dress modestly. One time when I had people coming over I called and asked a pregnant lady to please dress modestly (she had nice maternity clothes) - she was wearing skin tight tops that delineated her swollen belly immodestly. She agreed but then called back telling me she dresses like her husband wants her to. Oh.Oh... They did not show up. Fine.

It is a tragedy when husband and wife do not agree on this issue or when the husband desires his wife to dress seductively. I know of one husband who said how he wishes his wife to dress such that other men will want her. Their two daughters grew up marrying many times....

It is unfortunate that a parent cannot shield their children from the vile immorality as expressed in the undressing of bodies out there. But one can limit the places you go to - even if it is to church - where one is likely to see this state of undress. It may mean one limits shopping at Wal-Mart or shopping at all - especially when these people are more likely to be up and about.

God bless you, mom (and dad). You have a hard row to hoe. You are facing issues that were not discussed in depth when I was a young mom - they were swept under the carpet or people used euphemisms to describe what was going on and not everybody had a clue what was meant and that included me. I was so ignorant - Lord, have mercy!

Take care, Mom. Just allow the LORD to teach you how you need to deal with this issue in your home and He will - I know he will because He cares about you.


_________________
Sandra Miller

 2014/2/27 11:19Profile
ginnyrose
Member



Joined: 2004/7/7
Posts: 7534
Mississippi

 Re: Precursor to Sexual Abuse

Precursor to Sexual Abuse

Yesterday after I posted I felt as though I have said everything about homemaking, child-rearing that was on my heart and what the LORD would have me to say. I felt completely cleaned out - nothing more to say. I asked the LORD all day is there anything else? Anything? Then He reminded me.... Then, I was at a loss on how to title this subject until this morning it came to me.

Precursor to Sexual Abuse - hmmm....what on earth are you talking about? I am talking about behaviors that lead to sexual abuse - not quite abuse but almost. Or, maybe it is. I will let you decide. Let me illustrate my points by telling you a few stories.

Many years ago a young mother - younger then me - told me how mom (in hindsight I wonder if she meant her mom or her mother-in-law) told her how one can hush a male baby: just massage his genitalia. Oh, really?! Never heard of that before. And coming from an older mother to a young woman! I was really ignorant! Shock followed. In time to come I was appalled. Who was I? a young mother to contradict an older woman?! Since then I have mentioned this to another mother and her reactions mirrored mine.

I honestly do not know what effect this massaging will have on a boy in the long run. I am sure these moms did not mean to be sexually abusing their boys - all they wanted to do was hush a fussy baby. But it does not sit right in my spirit. So, I am issuing a warning here, Mom: if something does not resonate as proper, DON'T do it!

Some years ago I heard of a mother who was allowing her oldest son bathe his younger sister. They had three children at this point and like most families with multiple children, they are told to help each other with bathing(sometimes), diapering - if a baby, dressing. This is normal. But a boy 7/8 years older then a sister - bathing her? STOP! Let us think about this a minute.

Boys are naturally curious about girls; girls a tad bit less then boys, I suspect. But telling a 11 year boy to bath his sister is inviting undue exploration and experimentation which is EXACTLY what happened and the MOM was MAD! and embarrassed. Seems to me she was confronted about it before it happened but you know...she knew better then other people, or so she thought....SIGH. Yes, this boy molested his sister - not sure if he was over 18 at this point but I think he was.

My points:

1. No undue handling of genitalia in a child.

2. Do not ever allow a male child bathe a female sibling or any other female.

3. And be careful about mixed bathing (swimming)...remember Leviticus 18 about exposing the nakedness of a female relative? It is a no-no.

Understand what I am talking about? The devil is working to undermine our teaching in the home with the hope the children will choose to follow the LORD when the time comes. We also want to protect them from evils out there that are lurking to ensnare them that will have an impact for a long time. Since this is the case, be careful, Mom...Be very careful. I suspect it is right near impossible to teach a young mother all the things one should do and not do, but you can depend on the Holy Spirit to warn you in your spirit. You may not understand the cautions you sense but that is OK - just follow it.

God bless.






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Sandra Miller

 2014/2/28 10:54Profile





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