| The White Page|
Our dog was killed today. Hit by a car. I'm so grieved. Our family loved her so. It hurts. It's 3:45am and I can't sleep. Nothing all that unusual about that, but I was just sitting in my prayer chair talking to Father and my heart was hurting so bad. You know, I can handle losing a beloved pet. I realize that people all over the world are hurting over things much more legitimate than that. It felt like the grief of the whole world was on me. I was thinking about how Jesus sweat great drops of blood in Gethsemane as he travailed for the strength he needed to endure the cross.
I was, for some reason, reminded of a message which I downloaded and listened to by Leonard Ravenhill. He mentioned something about the white page between the old and the new testament. He asked the question, "Why doesn't anyone ever preach a sermon on that page?" It tells a story of 400 years of God being silent.
Sometimes I wonder if God is sitting in a recliner in heaven with his arms folded. This world is filled with so much pain and people everywhere in such gross darkness, and it seems like nothing is happening. I am agonizing here all the time. I want God to come to us. I want God to come to me. I want to have peace and release from the agonies of this life. I find it very hard to live. Don't get me wrong, I know I have salvation now. It's just that my heart is so burdened for this world and especially for the unbelieving church. I can't stand it and yet I know that God and God alone can open our blind eyes. I plead with him to come and do it. I plead with him for my husband and other loved ones who will die in their sins without Christ if God doesn't come to them and give them the miracle of light.
There's a holy fear on me. I see the darkness in this world encroaching. I see the stark fear on their faces. I see the pain. And I stand in the gap from the white page. Oh God, please come to us. We are so doomed without you. What shall we do? There is no hope apart from your great mercy.
I beg for revival. Send your rain, Oh Lord. We are so dry and we long to see you rain on your people.
| 2005/3/10 4:03||Profile|
| Re: The White Page|
I know just what you mean. I have had similar thoughts. The Lord has been silent with me for quite a while now. And mostly what is here is pain and suffering (not that I am blessed also) but still it is hard to keep hope up. But maybe that is the point. That is the test. Will I still trust Him even when He seems so unavailable to me.
Then I see other people in pain- just suffering. I used to think that i knew what suffering was for. I could have rattled on about how it refines us and strengthens us-- but after so much, you just don't know anymore.
Thinking of the story of Joseph helps. Not only did the Lord finally bring him out of suffering, but he used him to bring relief and help to those who were in famine.
I just have to remember that this is not about me- or about them- but about God and His glory. He has a plan. I know it. He has to. O, Lord show us YOU. Rain down on us (as dian said).
Dian, sorry about your poor dog! :(
In His love, Chanin
| 2005/3/10 7:48||Profile|
| Re: The White Page|
These same thoughts are constantly on my mind and grieving my spirit. I guess this is the groaning within ourselves that Paul talked about. I see the futility and I groan. Romans 8. It's a very real experience...a great continual sorrow.
If you don't mind, I will join my prayer with yours for a "time of refreshing from the presence of the Lord". Without Him, you're right, there's nothing but darkness and doom. Oh that YHVH would rend the heavens and come down....!
| 2005/3/10 9:39||Profile|
| Re: The White Page|
I can personally feel your sorrow, my Lab of 4 years got out of the fence January 4 this year and I have looked and looked for him and continue to do so. I know God see's my heart and my faith and I feel he will bring him home one day if I just have faith, I loved that Dog he was my buddy you know a dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than they love themselves. May you find peace in the precious memories of your beloved dog to overcome the pain within your heart.
| 2005/3/10 11:05||Profile|
| Re: The White Page|
Ok sisters Dian, Chanin, and any other joint heir that may be going thru ...
Since i'm presently walking in and by our Lord's grace (His abilty) instead of on my own power (that's hard to do anymore since He touched my spiritual thigh) and am on the up side, i'm hoping He will speak thru me to your aid, benefit and comfort ...
First a short story ... About 10 years ago, for some reason i can't remember now, i went in to this serious funk about my being a black man, and the whole historical plight of my ehnic group here in America, and so i literally cried out to our Lord, "Jesus, why do we Negroes have to catch so much hell"? ... No sooner than what seemed like only a few seconds later He said to me, "I could have made you a Red man" ... That instantly put it in an entirely different perspective for me ... The lesson being that if i allow myself to operate out of any other definition of mysels other than a bought and paid for by the blood of Jesus Christian already sitting in heavenly places with Him, i open up myself to the devils ability to make me feel sorry for myself in any lower definition ...
Not making light of your dog being killed, and i no it hurts, but thank God it wasn't a loved one, especially a child ... Amen
Now as to the white page of 400 years of God's silence between Malachi and Matthew, that's peanuts compared to the 2,000 years (and counting) years of silence between the end of Rev. 3 and the beginning of Rev. 4 ... Someone goofed and didn't put a white page there ... '0) ... So it stands to reason that we 2005 saints would be somewhat weary of that silence, but i read somewhere tah when we saints see all the wickedness we're seeing in the world that instead of despairing we should be lifting up our heads and rejoicing because we know that our deliverance is even nearer ... In other words our God is about to break His 2000+ years of silence ...
Another thing to take under concideration ... You know how we both agree that out God does speak to us in often times what some others might concider unorthodox ways? ... We'll He did that just recently when i saw "Constantine" ... In the movie the main character states something to the effect, "The more you see the devil, the more he sees you" ... Now i personally know that for a fact ... What did Kaiser Sosay say in "The Usual Suspects"? ... The greatest trick that the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist, and then God comes along and raises up folk like us to see him everywhere, and to not only see him but call him out to others ... You don't think that he's before the throne of God asking His permission to take you, sister Chanin, me, and anyone else he feels threatened by, because he sees in the invisible that God apparently has a special purpose for you, to like Job, take you out for a test run? ... Yep he is, and you know what God is granting him his wish for a season, but when he dogs us, and we still cling on to our God by faith, and not curse Him and die, like Joseph God graduates us from the prison position to the palace position ... Ours is not a battle of flesh and blood, so in the midst of what seems like our fieryist of trails, we like Paul and Silas must sing praises in our cell, till God miraculously breaks us out ... Bottom line is that once we accept Christ we can't go back, to stand still is as excruciating as being in a whales belly, so we may as well just suck it up like a good christian soldier, a prisoner of Christ, and march on forward ... We all have no other choice in any situation out of our control but to WAIT on our Lord ... What i'm learning is that we can wait in fretful despair, or we can wait in prayer and praise to Him, how we do so is up to us, but it still doesn't stop the fact that we've got to wait ... i believe i'm finally getting it thru my thick skull that it's better to wait on Him in the latter, and not the former ... Amen
"I beg for revival. Send your rain, Oh Lord. We are so dry and we long to see you rain on your people".
Personally i don't think we're gonna have to wait to much longer ... Check this out ...
Old Wells, Fallen Mantles & New Fountains ...
| 2005/3/10 12:39||Profile|
What a good word Rahman. Thank you. Blessings in Him, Cindy
| 2005/3/10 12:45||Profile|
You don't think that he's before the throne of God asking His permission to take you, sister Chanin, me, and anyone else he feels threatened by, because he sees in the invisible that God apparently has a special purpose for you, to like Job, take you out for a test run? ... Yep he is, and you know what God is granting him his wish for a season, but when he dogs us, and we still cling on to our God by faith, and not curse Him and die,
Hey Rahman. I thought about all this. I'm glad you took the time to post it. I actually visualized Satan accusing me before God, "Look at Dian. She ain't nothin. She only praises you because you protect her. Let me kill one of her kids and she'll never get up again." Then God says, "Don't touch her kids! You can take her dog." I see the mercy in that. I recognized the test. I praised him and lifted my heart toward God. I'm waiting in faith. Thanks for the visual. Love, Dian.
| 2005/3/11 6:34||Profile|
Praise our Lord for your break through sister Di ... Amen, not only visualize it, but know it, that's why Job is in the Bible, to let us know what's going on when all hell seems to be breaking loose in our lives, and we know it's not just reward from gross sin in our lives ... And i'm most happy to be of service to Holy Spirit as His instrument of exhortation, that's my main calling ...
Another little story about another time when i was feeling very sorry for myself ...
i asked the Lord, "Lord, why can't i seem to just fit into the Church"?
He answered, "Because your faith is Old Testament, and there's no room for Old Testament faith in the New Testament Church" ... Not meaning that God wants it this way, but man does ... The OT to many modrn saints seems antiquated, ponderous and just way to intense (especially the prophets whom i'm drawn to most) ... So much of todays church seems to like only "spirituality sweetness and lite (not Light) ...
A child of God does themselves great harm when they dismiss the lessons of faith of those called by God in theOT ... If God did not want us to take to heart the lessons of the OT saints there would not be the book of Hebrews ... We are the branch (Christ Church) grafted into the Olive tree (Jehovah's Israel) and thereby share with and are fed by those same OT patriarchal roots which make us spiritual children of Abraham ... To be honest i feel blessed to have the best of both worlds, the Old and New Testament ... For His good purpose God groomed me first in a law bound OT based religion before He brough me over into grace and the NT ... i think He did that because He knew that there was going to be quite a long wait (20 years so far) between the time He gave me my ministerial vison(s) and the time He would bring them to pass ... i can see now that had i only been brought into His NT manifestation of His kingdom without, without first being well schooled and versed in my OT spiritual roots, i'd of never been able to hold onto His individual promise(s) to me for all this time ... To me if the OT had to be boiled down to three main points it would be this ... #1 - There's no getting past having to wait on God's timing for His promise to you ... #2 - You can best believe satan is gonna do all that he can do to mess with you in the interim ... #3 - God's gonna limit what satan can do to you but he's gonna allow the tempter to test you ... What the OT grounds us in is "But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint ... Isa.40: 31 ...
Waiting ain't on the agenda of the modern church, or the modern saint ... We want to treat God like our any time teller of eternal blessings ... Somehow we've twisted it from God supposing to be able to tap us to get out of us what He wants, to our tapping God to get out of Him what we want ... Satan is so cunning that he's made us forget Who bought whom ...
i think we all need to remove that white page, especially in our study of the Word of God, for i firmly believe God didn't put that white page in His Bible ... And if He didn't who did? ... And why?
| 2005/3/11 9:53||Profile|