Greetings dear saints, many of you i have during the last 7 years of sermonindex visits come to know me as hmmhmm or brother Christian.
I have been on SI for about 7 years, i have been blessed to serve as a moderator for some time, latly i have not been able to hang around as much as i used to be able, but i almost visit on a daily basis even if i dont fnd the time to post as frequent at the moment.
But what has SI been for me and my christian life? why i ask this is because so many threads i seen has had a negative "aroma" to them.
For me personal i am convinced God led me to this site, i was born again and 1 week later i found SI and i had no knowledge whatsoever about true christianity, i never read the bible before and so on.
I browsed the sermons, listened to David Wilkersson a lot and ofen a times wept for joy, my hunger for the wrod grew a lat and i spend much time just reading and listening to wilkerson hungering to explore this "pearl" i had found.
Wilkerson mentioned Ravenhill in some of his sermons so i started listening to him, i was so encouraged, provoked and so burdend about what this man with a prophetic edge preached i found myself unable to sleep some nights. Ravenhill shared what authors he read and about A.W Tozer, started reading those old puritan authors, the Wesleys, church history started to interest me and so on.
I was so blessed i can not begin to explain, sourronded by a christianity that at large seemed to be satesfied with a weekly meeting and not endulging in the "greater" sins i feelt so often here we sit and sing hymns and are glad when the entire world is perishing outside... i was so burdened and glad i found these men of "old" that preached the other "half" of the book as i saw it then.
Through the years i gone through many stages, and i trust God to lead me through many more unto perfection.
I started out reformed i think, i apprichiated Washer and piper and so on, emerged in the puritan writings and i still find that such a gold mine, Thomas Brooks being my favorite still to this day with his way of putting more into one page of words then many preachers put in an entire series of messages still amazes me.
After being around the site for 6-12 months i registered and join the forums, i had many theological questions none of my current christian brothers and sisters found any value in discussing or thinking about.
I jumped in head over heals in the forums, some periods i was upset, i have written posts and threads i am today ashamed of, i have gone through the archive and reread some old things i written and i look back at the journey God has lead me on, how he "balanced" me from only seeing erors in others teachings, in many things i was probably right and still think the point that i tried to make was accurate and biblical, but i missed the "sum" of what matters.
Best i can see is i could see a beautiful flower with one bad brown leaf, and instead of accepting that brown leaf to enjoy the visual beauty and feel the aroma fill the room of that lovely smell i just ranted about that "error" in that brown leaf.
It is true many things is by the authority " a little leaven".... but still Jesus said to the people to listen to the Pharisees that ha said was fare worse off then some of the worst sinners....
I have yet to find a preachers anywhere that i fully agree on, i have yet to find a doctrinal "camp" or theological standpoint i fully agree on. All preachers on SI i have hard through the years have more then once said or made a statement i found not to be in accordance whit what I perceive the bible says.
My conclusion could be several, probably the best one is i dont know all things, and the least possible is my understanding of scripture is far superior then all others. Its very unlikley. So i have to embrace that no man knows all, only the book is perfectly balanced, and even after reading it xx times i still find new truths.
I have also seen most things on the forums, read some strange things, involved in all the "popular" debates.
What i have never seen is someone convincing someone else to leave their theological system and bring them over to the other camp, yet people still try convince with arguments, scriptures, and parables etc. We never give up because we know we are right, so i decided i will not participate in those discussions to the best of my ability.
They have made my head full of knowledge, but never once helped me be more loving, a better father, a better co worker or made my personal walk with Christ more fragrant. It may have been some that has benefitted from some of my posts, but the "popular" subjects are the ones most controversial, i am fore the discussion of these but the truth is most of those that do debate them are immature christians to do so. I know i was and might still be if i jumped in a such thread.
So looking back i got to know people in real life... from across the globe, i meet a man from India, through that meeting i came to move from my homcountry to another country... i gotten friends i can weep with for joy or sorrow, friends i trust in this life and to meet in the next.
As a visitor i can chose to focus on that one brown leaf of sermonindex that just destroy the site as a hole as i see it, may it be the founders view of something, may it be other users, may it be a speaker with a certain theological preference or whatever... or i may chose to focus on that fragrance that spreads in the room, the wisdom from saints that long time ago was called home, i may chose to participate in discussions that has not been solved for over 2000 years of debate since Christ died on the cross... or i can this day chose to look at the beauty or that flower, on the beauty of communicating with a fellow believer that may also sit at an computer half way round our globe and i can by typing on my keyboard bless him in this life and for eternity. What a privilege i have, what joy to be able to write to a brother a excerpt or from my heart that build him up in the most Holy faith, to encourage and provoke to seek the Lord more or stand firm in the storm or whatever! i can chose this today. And the best thing is i can still do this even if i am an anabaptist and he is a reformed or viceverca.
So looking at the mirror i see many tests with my tongue(typing) many prides in my heart reveled, many friends made, much joy, much wisdom, much questions and one sojourn taking place that i hope to last for long more.
I will end with i hope you to can find SI to be a place for blessing and i hope it leaves a mark in your life as it has in mine.
HIS/yours brother christian
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CHRISTIAN
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