I really do appreciate you praying for me!! I do not want my son to go into confinement like a prophet said he would. I said to God, if anything happens to me my son will want to commit suicide!! Please God had my heart got so wicked that I have caused all this and the children just thinmk I dont care about them because I am not believing that God can free me. I am believing this as I have no other hope after even Christians have uttered visions like that of Joan of Arc etc who was false and burnt. Another was although you walk through water and fire, you will not get burnt. Well this I was grateful for then began the nightmares and the most evil stuff imaginable was shared with me and I dont want to be near any evil. Jealousy is such that you think it is not evil even though you would never want to kill a person or hurt anyone you actually do this by standoffishness. I just thought my friend wanted to be leader now and friends with the hierarchy so I would let her get on with it. But I am shown that this is a bad response from me. Well all this happened 6 years ago now and I am in despair for I so want to serve God, yes I do. Please cry out for me like Moses did for Miriam. As I know there are sincerely humble people here on site. To be losing my children is a nightmare, but to lose God is terror to be eternally without light or goodness or grace or love. I know I did not love others as I should have now. Was deceived into thinking though that I was on a mission from God and that I did not have to be so close to those in that church but I would be led to others of the same mind and heart for evangelism etc. Well I was led to some others and they did stand with me for a while and then knew it was wrong, the town hall thing and I did not listen to them. Now I know it was wrong and another pastor thinks it was right and I am condemning myself. Well I never thought that I was wrong and I did ask a prayer old lady warrior who said it was right and so i became confused. Well then a prophet came and pushed my neck down a bit like an Agabus thing I suppose and said 'you should never have taken on this burden'. I thought it related to my fear for my children but in fact I am now told by the spirit that it was the Town Hall. I am in the most terrible hellish place, isolated and God spoke twice of a morning and said isolation due to skepticism and then excommunication. I am a nice lady who loves family and loves the church although did have a hard time in one. But wants to see His glory in this day and see His return and be with Him forever and my children. I sincerely dont want any form of worship leader role anymore or position as I know this is not humble although people said that was my gifting and thats why I pursued to serve and live in this. I know that I wanted the best with that gifting and thought a father would want that too. But the best with this Father is the least so I was deceived with the whole Hillsong thing and then didnt want it but was wrong there too. All I can see is my spiritualist visit and a spirit coming in then and me not wanting to confess it to my friends and then coming back to the Lord supposedly and really thinking that my fears of death etc would be relieved but in fact they were a lie. I don't think God had taken me back so I was used as a false prophet instead by the enemy and now I see where I was being attacked and just thought it was attack coz i was doing the right thing. It is all so confusing yet clear. Sorry for my waffling. I should have trusted God in the disciplines and enquired of Him, yet I did and ended up, I suppose all the while it was the enemy, a counterfeit due to my earlier disobedience which I was never delivered from but I thought I was just by reciting some freemasonry renounciations. It was my sin not my parents which was the issue here.
Along with the brethren's counsel, here is a sermon series on spiritual warfare by Jim Loganhttps://www.sermonindex.net/modules/newbb/viewtopic.php?viewmode=flat&order=0&topic_id=37212&forum=16&post_id=&refresh=GoI'm sorry table and bible4life for what you are going through. I also am demonized and I am schizophrenic and take medication.