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Joined: 2004/7/7
Posts: 7504


Mary Jane wrote:

"The idea of an adult needing to honor their parents no matter what gender they are by submitting to that parents wishes seems to be something that was added in along the way to keep control over adult children?"

I think you are right.

When I was a child we had an Amish neighbor who had two daughters. He was a farmer and he worked these girls hard. He told them if they stayed and worked the farm, they would be rewarded handsomely upon his death. People in the community, Amish and others alike, took a dim view of this fellow. Do not know what happened because we moved before he died and I fail to ask anyone what happened there.

Right now we are dealing with a similar issue where the mom works to keep tight control of her 23YO [foster] daughter because she has health (and mental) problems. It gets complicated, Mary Jane.

One can argue philosophy about this issue and make a case for it Biblically. But the bottom line is that Jesus does say one may have to forsake loved ones in order to be his disciple but one is still to honor your parents - therein lies the tension.

I am sorry your in-laws did not approve of your marriage. Now you just have to work to prove them wrong. I also know some folks are so hard headed they would never admit to having been wrong...

Seems to me, Mary Jane, this issue is one that defies a clear cut, absolute, "one-size-fits-all" answer.

God bless..


Sandra Miller

 2012/7/26 15:10Profile

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