wow!....God bless you all, every one of you.
y'know, we all labor in these jars of clay..groaning, travailing, we laugh, we weep. we eat, and sometimes we "feel" apart from the Body of Christ, the body of believers, His saints...like we're ALONE. but thats not the TRUTH, and your outpouring of love upon love, concern upon concern, has underlined this to me in Christ Jesus, the perfecter of this Most Holy Faith we abide in, as we abide in Him, we abide in each other, although we do not see each other, we know each other, thru Him.
nothing happens by accident, and this Reality, this Truth, has been shown to me, thru you, at 3:45 in the morning, and i bless God for this comfort, from you all, thru your prayers and concern.
forgive me wordiness, but why use one word when i can use ten? (i'm laughing, as i understand Paul more and more everyday) here's what happened; i blasted down from the Driftless Area of SW Wisconsin, truly the land of milk and honey, bless God! into Chicago, 4 and half hours, no problem...right to the hospital. Confered privately with her nurse, a beautiful man named Roy. her white blood cell count was 29k, but she had not gone 'septic", that means blood poisoning, thats what i was praying against. She is on a course of antibiotics, and had recieved pain medication. Something had bit her, an insect, i asked if they tested for West Nile virus, he didnt see that result. i then told him, she's very much in fear, and if she seem's demanding, etc, its just the fear. He understood.
i went to see my mother, even thru the pain meds, she was very happy to see me, there were no "dozen demons" in the room, i took her hand, and prayed silently in the Spirit, and reassured her of her condition, ie, it was not life threatening. In a dire situation, whatever it is, illness, battle, whatever, i believe one must always remain calm and have that "command presence" that is coveted in the military, its a calm reassurance, that no matter what, every thing will be alright, and to this, i achieved what i came to do thru the Power of the Lamb of God, if you walk in the Light, there is no darkness.
i'm writing this long, because there is a backstory, and i think its illustrative of the titanic battle being waged in the Heavenlies, between Good and evil...the "dozen demons", were not in that hospital room in Chicago, they were elsewhere.
background; as many of you know, i was raised in the synagogue from age 7, i was brought to it by my Jewish grandmother and mother, who never set foot in ths synagogue. my mother has been an "astrologist" and tarot card "reader" EXACTLY from this time, this was in the late 60's, to this very day. Even when i was 8, having read and understood the Torah, the Five Books of Moses, i KNEW this was wrong....WRONG, and ill advised. As a child, i would beg and plead with my mother to get those "books" and cards OUT of the apartment, burn them, having nothing to do with them. I would get screamed at, oh did she scream.i would say, that as a child and teenager i was pyschologically abused, but Glory to God, that poisonous denom of 'rage' NEVER transfered in my loving dealings with my son, that's the Mercy of God...right there. This poor woman has always had a LOVE of money...which God never gave her, LOVES and worships the 'rich', God never made her "rich", although a great portion of her 'clientele' are well heeled, and she has the demon of "judgement" in her, judging people by appearance and relishing the feeling of "hating" people...you have no idea how many times i have heard these words, "I hate....."....thousands upon ten thousands of times, and Praise be God Most High, you never hear that foul word come from my lips. i'm not boasting, casting myself as a "better than", its just that i recognize that soul poison, that food of demons..."hate"...if you look at the world with Spirit filled eyes, you can see the foundational curse and the murder behind this "word"...terrible word.
still with me?.....good, i told that, because here's where the picture fills in. My son's uncle, who is in his middle 50's, i married his younger sister. He invited me to stay over at his brownstone,because "honey is not here", thats his wife. His wife absolutely passive agressively loathes me, i couldnt figure out why...until yesterday. His wife is a wealthy business woman, he doesnt have to work. After visiting and comforting my mother, i went to his brownstone. My son;s uncle founded the theater i came to when i was 21, after the navy. what i write next, understand that i love this soul, but the enemy has just had his way with him for 30 years now, even back when we were in our early twenties, when i would get up at 5:30 to go to the trading floor, he'd be getting high, marijuana, we all lived above this storefront theater, i'd get back from the trading floor, he;d still be getting high, and i'm talking about poly abuse, any drug he could get his hands on.....plus he relishes violence, either screaming and yelling or beating people. He never would lay a hand on me, because even though i'm not formidable in size, or carry myself in a threatening violent manner. God's given me a "King David" kind of gifting, a latent righteous lethality, combined with a man after His Own Heart....but the poor souls i saw beaten by this man...just terrible, and i would call him on it, he'd laugh....and he's lazy.
God gifted me also with the gift of labor, meaning i would write my own plays, they were successful, i was successful, it was hard work, one must be tenacious in the entertainment industry, and he was jealous......okay fast forward....the woman he wound up marrying, it turns out was one of my mothers 'clients'....tarot cards. i found this out later.
So last night, i bring Chinese food to the brownstone, he shows me to the guestroom, we eat, he goes off to bed, and i finally fell asleep at midnight, which is very late for me....but before i went to sleep, i noticed in the book shelves by the bed, a bunch of books on.........'tarot', just very very disturbing, but...there it is. here's where it gets interesting.
i was up four hours later, 4 AM...when the birds start singing, i'm up, microwaved some cold coffee they had in a pot, grabbed my Bible, went to the outside back porch, and got in the Word. at 7, the phone rang, it was a friend of ours, "Jay", who had come by the night before to see me, while we ate, he said, "hey Tuddy, (one of the nicknames he calls me, he's a good man) do me a favor, i might have left the garage door open, go check it,and make sure its shut"...which to me means shut and locked, thats just wisdom in a city, you lock doors. so i did.
when i got back upstairs, my sons uncle asked, 'what's Jay want?" i told him, and that i had shut it and LOCKED it.
he went BALLISTIC!!!! it was positively demonic the rage that poured from him...."YOU ######## LOCKED THE ####### DOOR?!?.....WHY THE #### DID YOU ######## DO THAT?!? I NEVER LOCK THAT DOOR!!! etc etc etc. i felt this calm come over me. (Jesus) and just told him, thats what Jay told me to do, he just keeps raging, it was like being with an insane person, i said real evenly,'i'm sorry, i didnt mean any harm'....he just kept going, my things were already packed, as i was headed back to the hospital. i called Jay, who had a key, my son;s uncle didnt...yeh i know, 56 going on 5 years old. asked Jay to turn around and come back and unlock the door, he did, and i left, visited my mother, confered with the doctor, it was not life threatening and drove quickly out of that city, pondering and musing what had just happened.
i was given knowledge into a few things on that 4 hour drive back..."prophet in his own home town".....the dread effects of drug abuse, and mental illness, demonic possession, the power of prayer, how when Jesus FILLS us, we can walk IN Him with Grace. no matter the circumstance, all those Divine Bits of Knowledge God the Holy Ghost can give us, but one instance came to mind; in 2003, when me and my then 7 year old son, who requested to join me, we were water baptized, sitting in the assembly of the saints, were his uncle and his wife, my mothers tarot card client. After it was over, my son's uncle came up to me, tears in his eyes, and said, "Chief, i was moved, i wanted to come up there and accept Jesus, too". wide eyed, awed, i asked, "why didnt you?!?
you ready for this answer? he told me, "because honey (his wife) would be mad at me"....this was in 2003.
do you see that battle there? i know that there is a lot of tension and debate in the Body over "predestination"...okay?...and i have an "open hand" on it, all i know is like Abraham, i believe God....but that Day, God was CALLING to my son's uncle, and he spurned that call...it was his CHOICE, but he was afraid that his tarot card believing wife, "would be mad" at him.
muse on that a spell. i have. its a war out "there", and its filled with tragedy and brokeness, and the god of this age, is in a desperate last ditch, all out battle for souls, and our only weapon is prayer, our only Hope is Jesus and the Blood that cleanse all sin, In the final analysis, its up to each and every soul whether they want to heed that Beautiful Call..."come to Me, all you are burdened and heavily laden".........
sorry for the long post, i just had to testify, in the humble hope, my experience, recently, may bring you some relief or understanding, when you face similar.
God bless you all for your prayers, they are precious indeed, in Jesus' love, neil