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Discussion Forum : General Topics : The Art Of Overlooking An Offense

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rainydaygirl
Member



Joined: 2008/10/27
Posts: 742


 Re:

Quote:
But if she believes that her dad is truly born again and walking with Jesus then why would there be an issue? I mean can not the Lord keep her dad from sinning again?



rainydaygirl, the error in your question is that the Lord does not keep anyone from sinning, again. Can you show me an example of that? If it comes down to the welfare of her babies, or the fact that her father "Feels bad" because she won't leave her babies with him, then let him feel bad.
----
Pilgrim you are correct the wording in my question was really awful. The Lord does not stop us from sinning that is true but what I meant was He can help us to be over comers of sin. The Lord could help her dad over come this sin and never be tempted by it again is what I should have said. How she responds is between her and God just as it is how the dad responds. Its a real tuff situation here for sure. I had typed up a bunch of my thoughts on this with several questions but it would be unfair to put them here and expect you to be able to answer them for me. I have gone around and around about this topic for a long time trying to understand forgiving others, and not becoming cynical and doubting about another person, all I know for sure is its not an easy one to answer.

rdg

I am real sorry for taking this topic so far off track. another good reason to back out now.

 2012/6/12 15:09Profile
Solomon101
Member



Joined: 2008/4/1
Posts: 536
America's Flyover Country

 Re:

While there are some good points in many of the posts I think they have gone pretty far afield from my original intent.

The original idea is about overlooking an offense. NOT necessarily forgiveness of sins against us, or others. In fact if it is an "offense" they may not have even done anything wrong per se , we are simply offended by anothers actions, words, deeds, etc. although they may not be sinful. Certainly heinous sin such as the sexual abuses alluded to in some of the posts are a totally different thing than taking offense to something.

For example.. let's say that someone tells you--

"We really don't like being around you. You have a sharp tongue and we are sick and tired of you whining and complaining. So.. please do not show up at the dinner party Friday evening as you will ruin it for everyone by your rotten attitude. You are such a loser!".

That might well offend some of us! The question is how will we respond to that? How will we respond if what they say is true? More importantly, how will we respond if what they accuse us of is absolutely false and it was said only to hurt us?

I have at times offended people while doing my dead level best to obey the scripture and walk in love. I observed a couple making some mistakes that would eventually hurt their ministry very badly. It was not in any way sin. It was lack of common manners, inappropriate language (though not sinful) at the dinner table, and lack of personal hygiene. We are talking things like eating with mouths open and food falling out, talking with mouths of food as chucks of it fell on the table, licking off the serving spoon from a platter, "bathroom and bodily function" conversation at a coed dinner table, loudly passing gas for attention at that table, etc., not using deodorant, going days without a bath. None of these are "sin"... but the inappropriateness of it will cause people to avoid you and distance themselves from you. They were not children but in their mid 20's and college graduates.

In discussing with my wife what to do about it, if anything, we came to one very certain conclusion. You must ALWAYS do unto others AS you would have them do unto you. The couple had tremendous spiritual gifts and abilities that would take them far. However, it was clear that their gifts would take them places that their lack of manners and decency would keep them from being asked back to.

We felt given their spiritual abilities we must talk with them to help them in this practical area. In addition, if we were in their shoes we would have wanted someone to speak with us regardless of how difficult it was to hear at the moment. That is what love would do... help the other person achieve their highest ability.

We approached it very low key and shared how that their gifts were precious and from God. Some common manners would go far in enabling them to be used as people would be more open to receiving from them. They took great offense and lashed out at us. It was almost a pride in being slobs and "not bowing to the man" type attitude. We dropped it and just loved on them and helped where we could. Ultimately though that offense grew and festered in their hearts to the point they left our lives completely. They did so in such a way that it will be difficult for them to return without having deep humility.

Paul had a similar circumstance in scripture with John Mark. Over time he reestablished his credibility with Paul. After refusing to let John Mark go with him on his journeys Paul years later said to send him as he was "profitable to me and the ministry". I think that is a great example of overlooking an offense but not pretending it did not happen. Paul made him prove the change of life matched the words. It did so he was later restored to that place of trust with Paul.

Again, we are talking offenses... not heinous sins against the innocent.

How about you? How do you handle it if someone offends you?

 2012/6/12 16:08Profile
rainydaygirl
Member



Joined: 2008/10/27
Posts: 742


 Re:

Again, we are talking offenses... not heinous sins against the innocent.

How about you? How do you handle it if someone offends you?

----
again I am sorry for taking part in hi-jacking your thread. I felt it would be only fair and right for me to come back in and comment on the original topic. So for what it is worth, I have in the past allowed self to be easily offended and I have held on to those hurts but now I am trying to be in such a place in my walk with the Lord that I only take offense at the sin in my own life. I pray a lot more and try not to take personally when things are said or directed toward me. My biggest struggle is allowing self to play into the poor me attitude, seeing myself as the victim. I have learned that there are times when people have said things to me and even though I don't like hearing it they have been spot on.

rdg

 2012/6/12 17:09Profile
learjet
Member



Joined: 2010/4/19
Posts: 447


 Re: The Art Of Overlooking An Offense

Quote:
If anyone sees his brother commit a sin that does not lead to death, he should pray and God will give him life. ~1 John 5:16



I spent about 4 weeks just going through 1,2 and 3 John very slowly and praise the Lord it's bearing fruit!

While reading through this thread I couldn't help but have this scripture going over and over in my head. If it's not a sin that leads to death, we are to pray. More often than not I find that it's really my flesh that has a hard time with annoying people.

I've learned that everything is about me, and that's the part of me that needs to die. How dare those people in front of ME with 16 items in the express checkout, I need to be somewhere. How dare that man cut ME off in traffic, I mean he wasn't even thinking about ME. Oh what a miserable piece of flesh I have but praise the Lord there is grace.

Quote:
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. ~Philippians 2:3



Personally, I try to think of the other person first, 'did they mean to say that the way that they said it?' 'did they purposely try to be offensive?' 'is it possible that I took it wrong?' Sometime folks do mean to be jerks and sometimes they don't.

It works in traffic too, someone cuts you off, maybe they are taking a loved one to the hospital, maybe their children are in jeopardy? The fact of the matter is I really don't know.

Sounds simplistic but works for me, lol, and I have peace. :-)

 2012/6/12 19:58Profile





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