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Discussion Forum : General Topics : How do you get back to God when you've hardened your own heart?

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MonteCarlo77
Member



Joined: 2012/4/30
Posts: 12


 How do you get back to God when you've hardened your own heart?

Please help me saints...anybody. I've never needed to believe Truth more in my life than I do right now.

I feel like my heart has finally hardened. I don't know. I got saved in my mid-twenties, an overnight, radical conversion. For many many years I still struggled with sin but kept believing. But behind closed doors I was getting worse with flirting, pornography then fornication. I was worse now than before I got saved. But for many of those years I have neglected devotions and prayer and the word like I should. But still wanting God and hoping one day I wouldn't be like this anymore.

A month ago I started suffering from Anxiety attacks but still believed God even in the midst of my strongest fears. Just recently I started helping a church with administration very far from home. New faces, new culture, new church, new house, etc. Debt, no family, no real career, no wife and I'm only getting older so anxiety started acting up again.

But now 5 days ago I was in the middle of a powerful sermon and I heard a voice say 'You don't believe it anymore." I got really really scared and it went away. After it went away I just praised Jesus that HE is real and still loves me and has hope for me.

Then the next day in my sleep I really really felt like the presence of God has left me and that I've sinned so much and not took heed to warnings that my heart is hard now and I can't believe anymore. It's been a few days with this feeling and I'm scared to death. Irritable bowel syndrome now. Losing a lot of weight because of this fear that has gripped me that I'm no longer saved or something.

When I pray and fight I feel better but I'm not the same anymore. I'm constantly thinking about it. Am I one of those Christians that have hardened my own heart and now live in misery. I don't think so but it's all I think about. I know there's hope and I know I believe the Truth but what must I do to get back to the peace I once had with Jesus. I still want to be in his will. I still want to be a man of God. I still want to have a right relationship with him but what's happening to me?!? Please tell me what must I do and I will do it. But what if you tell me to just believe and I can't??

"LORD, I BELIEVE BUT PLEASE HELP MY UNBELIEF." (Whatever scriptures you give me I will read and try. But can I just wait for God to help me?)

-Can't Sleep & Scared

 2012/6/8 12:31Profile
Blayne
Member



Joined: 2012/5/27
Posts: 274


 Re: How do you get back to God when you've hardened your own heart?

Hi! MonteCarlo77

Your experience of desertion and/or hardened heart as you described is not unique to you alone; most Christians will admit to feeling the same at one time 'er another.

Thankfully, our relationship with God is by Faith ... what He says about us and our situation ... and not our feelings.
Of course, feelings can sometimes be very wretched and tormenting; I'm not trying to dismiss the horror that they can be.

You have obviously come under the stare of the accuser.
You have a choice: believe what the faith of the destroyer is saying about you or believe what your heavenly Father's faith is saying about you.

I'm sorry ... but that's the bottom line of it all.

After all, the Bible does say that the just live by the faith OF God ... (not "in" God as many might wrongly presume). "For what if some did not believe? Shall their unbelief make the faith of God without effect?". (Rom 3:3).

I'll be praying for you. God bless!



=======================
by MonteCarlo77 on 2012/6/8 9:31:44
Please help me saints...anybody. I've never needed to believe Truth more in my life than I do right now.
=======================

 2012/6/8 12:49Profile
Sree
Member



Joined: 2011/8/20
Posts: 1953


 Re: How do you get back to God when you've hardened your own heart?

Brother,

First you need to know what Salavation is :-
Matthew 1- 21:-She will bear a Son; and you shall call His name Jesus, for [w]He will save His people from their sins.

This is the very first promise of New Testament. It does not say that Jesus will take us to heaven but it says he will save us from Sin. It does not say where and when, which means it is now on this earth. No matter who says you are saved or not, it is your life that will tell you. The life that is not just external but internal, inside closed doors as you have said.

We all have sins, but the willfull sin is different from sins in us that we do not know yet. We need to repent and turn away from any sin in us that we know. And then Ask God to give us grace to be free from it.

Please read the parable of Prayer in Luke 18:1. This will tell you how to keep praying in faith that God can save you from your sinful lifestyle. Do not lose your faith.

Regarding the sexual sins that you have shared here, I would like to point out 1 Corinthians 10-13:-
No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of escape also, so that you will be able to endure it.



_________________
Sreeram

 2012/6/8 13:29Profile
onemite
Member



Joined: 2011/9/19
Posts: 168


 Re: How do you get back to God when you've hardened your own heart?

Hi MonteCarlo~

May I ask, do you still struggle with the old sins that you mentioned on a regular basis?

 2012/6/8 13:38Profile
Dlight
Member



Joined: 2011/9/24
Posts: 49


 Re: How do you get back to God when you've hardened your own heart?

MonteCrlo777,

My heart reaches out to you. I know personally what it means to struggle with perpetual sin so much that you doubt your salvation.

"Am I one of those Christians that have hardened my own heart and now live in misery. I don't think so..." I can see that one of your problems is probably the lack of acknowledgement not only of the sin in your life but also of your sinfulness. Yes my dear friend, you are 'one of those Christians' as we all are. Sin always brings about death of some sort and hardening of the heart, especially when not dealt with before God.

Like the sinner in Luke 18:9-14, or David in Psalm 51, come to God in repentance, acknowledging your sinfulness, and asking for His mercy. Like Ahab after the wrath of God had been revealed to him, turn to God with humility, fasting (if possible) and prayer. Yes, you will sow in tears - it is painful to confront sin and guilt - but those who sow in tears will reap with gladness.

To answer your question, PRAYER is how you come back to God. Pray and pray very hard. Come to the Lord, he has wounded but He will bind up (Hosea 6:1) He has broken, but He will restore (Psalm 51:8)

On a side note, here are two sermons that may be instrumental in your dealing with the sin you described. You don't have to listen to them, but I would recommend them highly.

1. Bob Jenning's Besetting sin
http://illbehonest.com/Besetting-Sin-Bob-Jennings

2. John Piper's how to deal with the guild of sexual failure.
http://www.desiringgod.org/resource-library/conference-messages/how-to-deal-with-the-guilt-of-sexual-failure-for-the-glory-of-christ-and-his-global-cause

I'll be praying for you.

 2012/6/8 13:43Profile
BroRaymond
Member



Joined: 2012/6/7
Posts: 16


 Re:

Brother I do know. I was a heroin addict for many years while professing belief in Jesus. I did not know if my former conversion was real, I had periods of victory followed by intense failure, doubts, despair, hopelessness and anger at God. Then I gave up. One day I just sat down and said "I'll lose everything God, take my life show me where you want me to go to get free. He led me to a ministry that showed me how Jesus could set me free finally.
I have learned so much about why I struggled, I was saved but I did not understand how deceptive my flesh was and how I could do things in my own strength and wisdom, for my own glory and have a semblance of faith without power. You CAN have victory brother. You can dwell in the secret place of the most high. Press on. Believe in what He has done rather than who you are and what you have done. Believe, believe that He can and will set you free.
I pray that you take action before the enemy wrecks a deeper destruction in your life. If you live after the flesh you will die (Romans 8). Let the truth make you free.


_________________
Raymond

 2012/6/8 14:15Profile
MonteCarlo77
Member



Joined: 2012/4/30
Posts: 12


 Re: How do you get back to God when you've hardened your own heart?

thanks everybody...this is all helping. Especially that people have dealt with this before. But I KNOW I'm a born-again Christian and God is teaching me how to walk by faith and not by sight. He's teaching me how not to go with just feelings and emotions.

Onemyte, I don't struggle with those sins at all anymore. I can honestly say I have the victory but now I have a new issue =) Finding peace I guess.

 2012/6/8 16:02Profile
KingJimmy
Member



Joined: 2003/5/8
Posts: 4419
Charlotte, NC

 Re:

We all harden our own hearts every single time we sin. So don't be troubled. You've not wandered down a path you cannot wander back from. The only way back is to allow Christ to take a hold of you and your heart. Allow Him to gather you unto Himself as a hen does her chicks.


_________________
Jimmy H

 2012/6/8 18:59Profile









 Re:

Quote:
I can honestly say I have the victory but now I have a new issue =) Finding peace I guess.

Finding peace eh? Not an easy thing to find these days. I have found that peace comes when we give time alone with God.

Most of the time we want peace so we can continue doing what we want to do and then when we've sapped all we got out of the last fill up of 'peace', then we cry out for more so we can go back and do our thing. Our 'thing' isn't always about sin, it's what keeps us from being alone with Him. We go through that several times and it gets harder and harder to obtain that peace that we have always counted on getting.

We've seen kids come to us only to get something from us, they don't want to know us, they don't want to spend time with us, they just want to get and once they get what they want they run away until what they got is all gone. It's the paved paradise all over.

The peace that your seeking for is found in simple reflection, be still and know that I AM God.

If this is any consolation, my heart is hardened too, it has been for a long time now. I've come to live with it because as much as I have repented it something that is beyond my comprehension to change, therefore I have concluded that this is from God for some greater purpose in His mind, so I wait for the change. So your not alone Brother. Just keep believing that God is tending to your every need, even in times that our heart is hardened.

 2012/6/8 20:25
onemite
Member



Joined: 2011/9/19
Posts: 168


 Re:

KingJimmy- I love what you said!

Yes, our hearts can become hardened in a day with the deceitfulness of sin.
Recently I began emerging from a similar hardness of heart.
This time it was the sin of unbelief- lack of trusting God.
It is easy to become so focused on our walk that we lose sight of Christ- and by the way, Christ IS our peace!

I have held fast to Psalms 32. David saw his sins and abhorred them but after confessing and turning from them he did not keep his eyes on his grief for very long. In this Psalm as well as many others, David turns his eyes to the Lord- his help.
"Behold, the eye of the Lord is on those who fear Him,(you have fear of the Lord deep inside or you would not care you are feeling far from Him)
On those who hope in His mercy,
19 To deliver their soul from death,
And to keep them alive in famine."
Psalm 92 is beautiful through and through. He says in it, "I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress;
My God, in Him I will trust.” and
"Because you have made the Lord, who is my refuge,
Even the Most High, your dwelling place,
10 No evil shall befall you,
Nor shall any plague come near your dwelling;
11 For He shall give His angels charge over you,
To keep you in all your ways."

The Refiner is at work in you. He who began a good work in you IS carrying it on to the day of completion!
Rest in the Lord. He's working in you. Trust in Him.
Rest in this hope as you continue this new day to listen for His guiding- and put off conscious sin by His leading and by the strength He gives you each day.
Lean on Him like a helpless child with his Father. Set your mind on what He says about you in Christ.

Keep this hope MonteCarlo, because hope in God never disappoints. Allow Him to be your hiding place in this time of struggle even as David- and we are in a better Covenant than David. We have the blood of Jesus that allows us to come near and approach that throne of grace.

 2012/6/8 21:20Profile





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