I don't think it worked! If you want to be funny you should know the right meaning of the word to start with. This guy does not - in my opinion.


Compare that to this one:

…You might be a Dispensationalist

1. If more than one of your children is named Ryrie, Chafer or Darby…
2. If you get excited when you see a sentence with a parenthesis…
3. If you license plate reads: “IM PR TRB”…
4. If you believe the musical “Seven Brides for Seven Brothers” contains an apocalyptic message…
5. If your bedroom, office and car all have sky-lights…
6. If you have ever stated: “Well, Lindsey said…”
7. If there are more underlined sentences in your copy of “Late Great Planet Earth” than in your Bible…
8. If you own a copy of “Late Great Planet Earth”…
9. If you consider Tommy Ice an authority on anything…
10. If your Pastor gives a sermon exclusively from the New Scofield Bible study notes…
11. If you’ve eve had more than three candidates for the AntiChrist at one time…
12. If you think Saddam Hussein’s name means 666 in more than three languages…
13. If you took Hal Lindsey’s advice twenty years ago not to make any long term plans and are now broke, uneducated and in a dead-end job…
14. If bar-codes make you nervous…
15. If you’ve only been a Christian for one year and your Pastor has preached through the book of Revelation more than two times…
16. If you make sure there’s at least one non-Christian pilot on every flight you take…
17. If your church has adopted the 60’s song “Up, Up and Away” as a hymn…
18. If you think the Ryrie Study Bible notes are part of the original autographs…
19. If you’ve already forgotten the last wrongly predicted date of the rapture…
20. If you already know the next predicted date for the rapture…
21. If you’re still suspicious about Gorbachev’s birthMARK…
22. If you believe that Grant Jeffrey, Tommy Ice, Dave Hunt or Hal Lindsey is a theologian…
23. If you know the location of the European Central Bank…
24. If you’ve ruined more than five records trying to find backward messages…
25. If you count trampoline aerobics as “Rapture Practice” in your morning devotions…
26. If you think Texe Marrs’ books belong in the theology section of your local Christian bookstore…
27. If you never stand on your head out of the fear that the rapture will send you the wrong direction…
28. If your baby’s stroller has a break-away sun bonnet…
29. If you always chew gum so your ears won’t pop at the rapture…
30. If you can name more dispensations than commandments…
31. If Clarence Larkin is your favorite artist…
32. If you know who Clarence Larkin is…
33. If your children’s favorite game is Pre-Trib-Hide-and-Seek, “Now you see me, now you don’t”…
34. If you think the four millennial positions are: Pre-Trib, Mid-Trib, Post-Trib and Liberal…
35. If your favorite party game is “Pin the tail on the Beast”…
36. If your favorite CrackerJacks prize is a temporary tattoo of the Mark of the Beast…
37. If you think John Walvoord, CI Scofield and J N Darby are some of the Church Fathers…
38. If your favorite one-volume commentary on the Bible is on “The Bible Code”… (Jon B.)
39. If your favorite multi-volume commentary on this morning’s newspaper is the Bible…(Jane D.

_________________
Diane

And how many pretribbers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They all have been raptured.

Blaine

_________________
Lisa

Interesting list. I would like to see what type of theology the writer of this list believes in.

To me, it seems like the writer may follow the "Love Wins" theology.

_________________
Christiaan

Quote: "I think it did! My pastor/mentor from years ago said, "Throw a rock into a pack of dogs and the one that got hit will holler the loudest." Well, a rock was thrown into a pack of legalists and they hollered. Just saying"

I don't think I want a ministry of throwing rocks!! Who do we think we are? Please do not compare the saints to a pack of dogs!

Well I think we have to ask if this thread is edifying to the saints??

I may or may not agree with any of the points put in the list in the first post, but that is not the issue. My spirit is grieved at the offhand way of throwing glib statements out that could offend and stir up strife. Please be clear I am not offended by any of them, but it does not sit right with me as being helpful to anyone.

"Let each of us please his neighbor for his good, leading to edification.....Therefore receive one another just a Christ also received us, to the glory of God."

"For the law is fulfilled in one word, even this 'you shall love your neighbor as yourself'. But beware if you bite and devour one another, beware lest you be consumed by one another"

_________________
Dave

_________________
Lisa

_________________
Diane

Hey roadsign.

Just to clarify, I was speaking about the first list. Your list made me smile. :-)

_________________
Christiaan

And why are people getting offended over Pilgrim's thread? Could some legalistic toes be stepped on?

What I find scary in this forum is some who are legalistic to the max. They imply in their post that one is saved through the keeping of the law. And what surprises me is the they go unchallenged in this forum.

The danger is not so much from the the false prophets of the prosperity gospel. I see the greater danger coming from modern day Judiazers who advocate law keeping over the gospel of grace.

Any law that denies the finished work of Christ on the cross and not rooted in faith on Jrsus Christ is a false gospel.

Blaine Scogin

abstinence is not a joke. neither is birth control.

contraceptive pills kill more babies than do abortions, and the church is completely silent on it. you hear me? contraceptive pills are abortive and KILL babies.

Yes, Salvation is by faith alone. Yes, Salvation is everlasting life. But several of these "jokes" are disgusting.

Abstinence is NOTHING to joke about.

This list is just worldly, and it doesn't seem like whoever wrote it knows much of God or his ways.

AMEN, AMEN to this,

"The danger is not so much from the the false prophets of the prosperity gospel. I see the greater danger coming from modern day Judiazers who advocate law keeping over the gospel of grace.

Any law that denies the finished work of Christ on the cross and not rooted in faith on Jrsus Christ is a false gospel."

I know it is salvation by faith, not salvation from turning from sins, and I know that "he who has begun a good work in me will complete it til the day of Christ Jesus" - it is eternal security for those whom God has saved.