I have to disagree strongly with the original post. Marriages are not based on romantic love. Romance may come and go, but it is transitory and usually long gone after the intial stages of a marriage. Romance is an illusion. It is true biblical marriages were arranged and this was good to God. Statistically, arranged marriages today outlast most other marriages. What I am saying is that a marriage that lasts is based on committment and a decision to love our spouse every day till we die. There are untold marriages where 'christian' spouses declare they want a divorce because the 'attraction' has gone, or there is no 'chemistry'. It is a disgrace that professing christians have denigrated themselves to the shallow, vein, cruel standards of the world. I wholeheartedly agree with Paul Washers preaching in this video

http://illbehonest.com/Should-I-Marry-Someone-Because-of-Outward-Beauty-Paul-Washer


Praise the Lord, that Paul Washer and Tim Conway are preaching the truth on this matter.

You can marry the most beautiful or handsome person you can find, but any number of things can happen, they could lose a vital body part to cancer, (even lose the ability to physially intimate), they could be physically disfigured, they could have a stroke, they could become wheelchair bound, they could be brain damaged. These are all realities, and 'romantic' love would not bear any of these scenarios for too long.

Our Father God does at look at the outward appearance, He looks at the heart, and we must be like Him. Flesh is decaying day by day, but our inward man is being renewed to be more and more like the beautiful Lord. He asks us to love like in 1 Cor 13. I don't believe 1 Cor 13 mentions romantic attraction.

I feel strongly about this because untold marriages, christian and non christian have been torn apart and destroyed over this very issue.

This is a good testimony to read regarding how the Lord leads us to a marriage partner if we will wait for His Will, timing and wisdom and what is important to the Lord, and should be to us, in who and why we marry:

http://goo.gl/otO0S

(It is from Elisabeth Elliot's book, Quest for Love. Chapter 3.)

Please note in this testimony that the missionary Fred Malir fell in love with Jesus in his future Wife. He gave up an intial 'romantic' 'love' when he was younger and never lived to regret it. To quote Fred Malir: " “Caveat emptor— Buyers Beware! ... Marriage is a serious business. Why not consult with the Chief Inspector Himself ?"

In Christ's love.

Yes sorry about that, it was my first time posting and I made a mistake. I have re posted it in the appropriate thread, so this one can be deleted.
: )

To begin with, I absolutely love romance. God does too, and while the Song of Solomon proves it on the human level, the many gospel references to the bride and the bridegroom suggest it to be an eternal value in the Kingdom.

But as a 68 year old geezer, I'm way past sweetness and light. My suggestion for the marriage vow would simply remove the nonsense about richer or poorer, sickness and health- and just replace it with this:

"I give you permission to destroy my life."

Because that's what true marriage is all about. It is the model marriage of Jesus and humankind, and it is the ultimate challenge to lay down your life for your spouse. I have seen a few marriages where this scenario has actually worked to the glory of a person's steadfast committment to serve Jesus.

I would never entertain the idea that it is the will of God for one spouse to detroy the other. But for me, seeing couples go through hell and coming out in holy committment to their vows is an ultimate expression of true romance.

It's the stuff that makes this old guy cry!

(Me 'n my Presbyterian youth group sweetie and I have 45 years into this. And we are not destroyed!!!)

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Tom Cameron