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Joined: 2011/9/15
Posts: 4

 what to do about my marraige

i have been married to my wife for about 7 years now we have been together about 9. we both go to church and everything, but i am finding it hard to be around her, i cant stand her really. she has a real problem with anger and she is very disrespectful. i have tried to talk to her but it gets me no where. i try to have the fruits of the spirit. that is what the spirit leads me to. but i dont see the same in her. she likes drama and gossip and wont study or apply herself . i dont know what to do i dont want to get divorced, but its lookin like im gettin close to leavin, i know i can never remarry and im fine with that. i dont never wish to get remarried. i love her with my whole body but i cant stand this fighting and anger all the time over nothing. i almost think she is by polar and it runs in her family. i doont know what to do and i need some spiritual advice. please hit me back with what the word says or any advice. i look down the future and find no happiness with this woman. and i am not happy now. i am missrable. i just want peace in my life . thanks.

 2011/9/15 16:53Profile

Joined: 2011/8/13
Posts: 122

 Re: what to do about my marraige

I am so so sorry about your struggle. I don't have any advice, will leave that to wiser minds on this site, but I will pray for you.

 2011/9/15 17:01Profile

Joined: 2010/6/26
Posts: 483

 Re: what to do about my marraige

I am sorry that you are having such difficulty. Don't lose heart. You can overcome.

If you want to know how you should deal with your wife, you must look to Christ, how He treats the church. See how patient He is with her, even though she makes such a mess. He patiently takes time to sanctify her, removing wrinkles, spots, blemishes, sins... Oh, how He gives Himself for her! (Ephesians 5:25-27)

Now, you, husband, should love your wife the same way. Patiently, giving yourself for her sanctification. You say that you just want happiness and peace... well, which is better, to obey God and suffer for it, or disobey God for the sake of fleeting pleasures? (Hebrews 11:25) Besides, he who loves his wife loves himself (Ephesians 5:28). Meditate on that.

If you can't react the right way to your wife's attitude, you need to pray for strength to hold your tongue. You can do it, because by faith you have overcome the world. (1 John 5:3-4)

Now, you may want to listen to Keith Daniel's testimony in this message:

May God grant you strength to stand up under this great trial.

In Christ Jesus,

 2011/9/15 17:24Profile

Joined: 2005/6/18
Posts: 1481


hi, i have learned through much failure in my life to just worry about what i do and give no thought to anyone elses response. you keep on loving and showering blessing upon her even when she is a livid witch or its are not responsible for her reaction,but you are to your is fun.

 2011/9/15 19:10Profile

 Re: Aaron

Brother being single I have no wisdom to offer you. But with my sister Leeza I will pray for you.


 2011/9/15 19:38

Joined: 2011/7/29
Posts: 683
northern USA

 Re: what to do about my marraige

It's a little early to consider divorce yet isn't it? Why not try Christian counseling first, so the counselor can act as mediator. If she refuses, tell her you are seriously considering leaving (as in a separation)--that might wake her up. Does she know all the details of how you feel and that you are considering divorce? She doesn't sound like a Christian, i'm guessing she's not saved. If that is the case it would be better for you if you make darn sure you are not the one to file for divorce, let it be her choice. For the Word says that if an Unbeliever wishes to depart then let them depart. If an Unbeliever departs of their own choice then you would be free to remarry. In the meantime, so that you can bare it, focus on the good qualities in her that made you marry her in the first place. But it is better to dwell in the corner of a housetop than with an angry and contentious woman, that is for sure. I wish you well and hope you keep us posted.

 2011/9/15 19:59Profile

Joined: 2003/7/31
Posts: 2820
Phoenix, Arizona USA

 Re: what to do about my marraige


If you allow your emotions to guide your decisions in your marriage you will end up divorced and far more miserable than you are right now.

What you need now is to hear the voice of God, you need to get into the Bible and seek Him diligently for grace in your marriage. You need to cry out to God to fill you with His love for your wife. He will do it if you honestly cry out to Him, He is faithful.

You must begin by making time for Jesus each and every day to allow Him to begin to work this love into your heart. You must not let your emotions or any distractions move you away from this time that you devote to Him.

"Those who call upon the name of the Lord will be saved." We tend to think of that verse as concerning only when we are first saved but it applies to every day of the Christian life. Call upon His name, pray without ceasing, He is worthy and every relationship in your life will benefit from it.

In Christ,


Ron Halverson

 2011/9/15 20:03Profile

Joined: 2011/6/16
Posts: 183


Do you know what the root of her anger is?

There is an opportunity here for the Lord to deliver your wife from the root.

Anger is the manifestation.

In Christ,

 2011/9/15 20:29Profile

Joined: 2007/1/15
Posts: 365

 Re: what to do about my marraige

Only the Lord and yourself know the depth of your pain. As Trekker suggested, i would consider counseling.

Right now, you need someone or some people to come alongside you and 'hold up your arms' as you seek grace and strength from the Lord to enable you do right by both of you.

May the Lord lead you to the right person/people.

It is well with your soul, brother.

Please be encouraged by the words of the hymn below:

Through the love of God our Savior,
All will be well;
Free and changeless is His favor;
All, all is well.
Precious is the blood that healed us;
Perfect is the grace that sealed us;
Strong the hand stretched out to shield us;
All must be well.

Though we pass through tribulation,
All will be well;
Ours is such a full salvation;
All, all is well.
Happy still in God confiding,
Fruitful, if in Christ abiding,
Holy through the Spirit’s guiding,
All must be well.

We expect a bright tomorrow;
All will be well;
Faith can sing through days of sorrow,
All, all is well.
On our Father’s love relying,
Jesus every need supplying,
Or in living, or in dying,
All must be well.


 2011/9/15 20:51Profile

Joined: 2011/9/15
Posts: 4

 Re: reply to all

i dont know what to do about it . i have tried to talk to her about counseling but she wont have no part of it. i have tried to talk to her about going to the doctor and seeing about her anger but havent made it there yet. i dont know what springs her anger it only takes somethin small. the verse in proverbs the brother wrote pretty much sums it up. there is no happyness or fun with this woman.

 2011/9/15 20:52Profile

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