It never ceases to amaze me how much I need the Lord, I resist sin only to fall into another but He is faithful to forgive us our sins if we confess and agree with His word.
When it seems I have one sin finally put to death more light is shined on my heart to reveal the depth of my wickeness that it goes much deeper than action but to attitude. God truly is wonderous to look at my heart and to know it because there is a great deal of myself that I don't know. I love the fact that God sees the better in me, that He sees a heart that loves Him, He sees a heart that Loves Him rather than the heart that chases after other loves.
When I fall into sin often times its not because of a well thought up plan or an elaborate skeme but occurs simply because I got lazy or I took my eyes off the Lord Jesus Christ. Again I am amazed that despite my wicked heart and how many layers I have left to dig and no matter how aweful I view myself He sees something different and He offers me mercy.
I went on a great kick of beating myself up and using a lot of self degarding thought, talk and at times humor. Don't get me wrong I am the chief of Sinners. BUT That's not what He sees, that's not His focus, that's not in His mind. We are His joy, His delight, His passion. If we were just some aweful thing then surely He never would have gone to the Cross for us. If we were a waste of space, then the Cross was a vainity, soap bubbles.
BUT We are not a waste of space to Him, He delights in our hearts and He wants our hearts no matter how wicked they are and He wants us to turn our hearts to Him, all within His strength and Power. Call me what you wish a liar, sure I have lied, a theif, sure I have stolen, an adulterer, sure I am one at heart, but you must not forget dear Brothers and Sisters that We are all these things and more BUT we are His and He is ours, We are coheirs with Christ WHEN we by faith come to Him and die with Him.
I not only want His grace but I am desperate for it, it is what sustains me and keeps me moving in Christ for without it I would simply die in my sin with no fight and no faith. _________________ Matthew Guldner
|