I know everybody believes that Matt. 19:9 says "except for sex immorality" is exempted in commiting adultery.. but remember Deut. 24:4 the woman or wife was "defiled".

Do God's commandment(standard) not permission(human standard or hardness of people's heart) about divorce and remarry... If we are really serious about marriage we will understand God doesn't really like divorce and remarry.. just try to understand all the passages about marriage, divorce and remarry. Not only one verse.

Remember also Pharaoh, God "hardened" his heart.. it is the same with people(hardness of their hearts) about marriage, no matter what God's commandment people will still do divorce and remarry even without the permission. Hardness of their heart is sin, Pharaohs hardened heart is sin, both God allowed it. therefore remarry is sin. Matthew 19:5 "they are no more twain but one flesh",therefore what GOD hath joined together let NOT MAN put asunder.

jhtg, if the girl is really super HOT, then it's OK to marry her even if she's been divorced! Just kidding you jhtg. But let's face it, there are a lot of cute 20-something and 30-something women out there that have been divorced and have a 5-year old child. When I used to meet these women in my 20s and 30s, I could not understand how any man would ever walk away from what seemed like such a good situation.

Luke 16:18 comes to mind:

Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery.

Jesus said it was a hard saying, and He said that not everyone would be able to handle it. Do I think that a divorced Christian woman with a 5-year-old child is somehow condemned to being single the rest of her life? No, I do not. Same goes for a Christian man in a similar situation. But, I will tell you my experience because that's all I have to go on. When I was about 33 or 34, I dated a cute Christian girl for a year that had a 5-year-old child. She was a really nice girl and the little kid was fun to play around with. Kids are so cute. Her husband had treated her badly, and she was really kind of still wounded from that relationship even though she had been divorced for at least a few years. When her ex would come over to pick up the kid, they would sometimes fight. There was still some real tension there. I just felt like I was dated somebody else's wife the whole time even though they were divorced. Some of it probably had to do with problems of my own and my own insecurities. So I could never really let myself go with her. I couldn't really love her the way I really wanted to just completely love one girl.

But I would say that if the Lord gives you a release to be involved with somebody that has been divorced, that we should certainly accept His grace for that situation. But you may have the thoughts I had, "Is this really my girl or is this still somebody else's?" Plus, the Lord told me before we even started dating that we wouldn't get married, so maybe I was being dishonest with her.

Responding to endzone's joke about "really hot".

It is common knowledge that many that are involved in pornography have very attractive wives. This is a spiritual problem and not a physical one. Even though Tiger Woods is not a Christian, he is a prominent example of this. Jimmy Swaggart is a Christian example. And, I am sure you can name many more.

Attractive wives (physically) are not the answer to stem this epidemic. It is complete surrender to Jesus Christ. Buddha cannot help and Tiger will find this out and hopefully it will be part of his path to Jesus.

Sarah

Luk 16:18 Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery.

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James

I like that, "God will not change his word for any man". So, what does man do? He changes God's Word to fit his lusts.

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James

JB1968, I understand what you are saying and it is a good point. Also I Cor. 7:10-11 Paul seems to speak directly to this:

10And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband:

11But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife.

But the Bible also says in the same chapter that it is better to marry than to burn. Do divorced people suddenly have their sex drives disappear? What about the woman who is divorced and her husband has remarried? Now there is no possibility of being reconciled to her husband as Paul puts it. Or what about the man whose wife has remarried? Is he condemned to a life of burning with lust or will God change his desires somehow?

So, let's get you on the record here. Are you willing to write letters to every mainstream church in America and tell them that their pastors should not perform marriages for people who have once been married? Are you willing to write to every JP and tell them that what they are doing is wrong in this regard? Why do churches allow couples to come into their church where one has been divorced? Why don't we tell them that they are not allowed to remarry? What sayest thou?

Paul wasnt speaking to the divorced when he said better marry than burn. That was for virgins and widows. He already said we must remain single if divorced because we are still bound to our spouse as long as they are alive...1cor7:39

This is confirmed by Jesus who says EVERYONE who divorces and marries another commits adultery and anyone who marries a divorced person commits adultery. They would both have to be schizophrenics to then say if you do marry you have not sinned. Romans 7 says it all...

But like Jesus said most wont accept the truth or the narrow way. This argument is already settled when God commands us to keep our unconditional vows and not call them a mistake...eccl 5. That verse has a pretty strong warning its sad how easily people thumb their nose at these verses while calling Him Lord.

Its very telling when a church teaching results in a divorce rate that is no different than the world. We should stand apart and our lives should be a light that reflects Christs love and mercy the same way the Father loved His prodigal son with a love that really believes hopes and endures ALL things...cor 13.

Husbands love your wives the way Christ loves the church...eph 5. Are you really willing to argue with that statement?

Amen, keepingfaith.

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James

You asked why pastors allow divorced remarried people in their church and perform these sinful ceremonies. I guess for the same reason some let same sex couples in...they ignore scripture. God tells us that most are false teachers and few are true. The sad hypocrisy is most who approve of remarriage do not approve of homosexuality and would turn them away or tell them to repent.

Titus 1 gives the reason... it says they teach things they should not teach and tear apart families for the sake of sordid gain. They love those unscriptural tithes.