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Discussion Forum : Miracles that follow the plow : Learning to Lean

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 Learning to Lean

Over a year ago, how many months beyond that is not recalled. . .but, something just snapped inside me.
It broke wide open and spilled out all over the place.

Only now i am just beginning to see what happened then was all about.

There is so much more to it than just that, which can be saved for another time, but i rejoice in where he has brought me as a result.

Today i will testify.

Isn't it so amazing in pursuing God, He shows up in the unexpected.

Often it's when you feel like throwing in the towel, but pushing and pressing on and striving knowing God always keeps His word and answers our prayers, we just give up on ourselves. i'm not completely clear about all this, but God has made me to understand just a little. Maybe it is to keep us in a perpetual state of wonder of just how amazing He is that He leads us step by step. We come to a point where we realize that we are even that much more stupid than we thought we were in the first place.

"We all, like sheep have strayed . . ." and myself being one of the sheeple of God, i realize more and more all the time that i have got to be the biggest idiots of all. . .a blundering toddler meaning well, yet unable to speak right or properly do what is called for. . .Thank God for His Spirit showing up making sure everyone realizes that there is nothing that we try to do that makes even a hill of beans difference, as long as we are willing to step out of the boat, or should it be called our crazy little ship of fools? Thank God the way He chastens us to bring us into a place that is more wide open than we ever considered possible.

He alone 'knows' our frame completely and it is such a comfort having one friend who sticks closer than a brother.
To know. . .
[ the Biblical sense of this word 'to know' in the extreme:
intimacy far above and beyond whatever could make good feelings or satisfaction in this world }
. . .to know God and know that He is a friend that sticks closer than a brother, just to know that He knows us, and even when we think we are walking rightly and 'know' God, we haven't even touched the tip of the iceberg STS.

It's only in finally give up, surrender, exhausting our flesh, His voice becomes heard clearly.

Arising very early this morning, the day began in the usual way: get up, walk outside and holler, "Lord God Almighty, i give up!" Turning to conversation, "Your son, me, more than ever, can i see your glory. . .
. . .and His voice was heard saying, "You are not even close yet. You have an eternally long way to go. Just follow me, do what i tell you, and whatever you do, keep your eyes on me."
i like to be thought of God's man: bold, brave, unflinching, going beyond the extra mile, but honestly, i fail Him so much. . .and hearing those words this morning or other things He tells me other mornings, tears often well up. Though His kindness is beyond comparison, he kutz me to the quik, and i mourn.

All except for the weeping, i am silenced and often fall down before Him.

i really do not know about you, but this is the place He wants me to be..

About 6 years ago, God blessed in giving us an Irish setter colored dog with a touch of brindle here and there, bright white chest gradually fading to tan, with a whisp of white at the end of his tail. He is a cross of two AKC purebreds:a German Sheperd and a Chow. He looks like a runt --3/4ths in the size of a-- German Sheperd (except for pelt color) but shows tiny traces of the Chow in him. Extremely territorial with persons whom he senses i really do not care to be around, extremely protective of anyone that is invited across this threshold; yet when away from me-- (when he cannot follow me around)--with anybody else, unless he senses characteristics that don't sit well with me, he is the most docile, playful, friendly beast.

God has shown me many things about my own self in relation to him
through the ways this dog has at times sorely tempted me to punish him;
yet there is something about him recognized by me:
an inner knowledge that this dog wants to please us
and really does somewhat understand how i feel,
and perhaps even understands just a bit of what i tell him--(no, actually more than what is revealed).
Though i have never ever had be severe with punishment, i have caged him in 2wice, only for a short time so that he will turn his attention back to satisfying this family and what is expected of him.

Of all the pets successfully trained (even cats)
(to date 17 animals)
this one usually does what is told
even though he has never gone through repetitive conditioning/training neccessary with the other 16 animals.

Everyone calls him Maxx, but he is known by me, and only recognizes me when using the name i chose for him. My daughters hate it when i call him by that name, so usually it's whispered, unless teasing them. Others can call him this name and he is unresponsive. They are stuck with him answering to Maxx, but i need only whisper just this name and wherever he is, occupied with whatever, comes running, then lays on his back at my feet.

We all usually call him Maxx, but when i want him, i whisper "Timmy."

This morning, after the first daily conference with God,
--last night falling asleep exhausted in Jesus arms from prayers for those met here,--
walking back into the house, it was realized Maxx had not been taken off his logchain after putting him out to do his duty last night. He didn't bark, but was laying with chin to the porch staring at me. After turning and looking directy at him, those pointed ears perked up and he began wagging his tail.

He was asked if he wanted to go into the house.
He barked, got up and ran to the side door he is let in and out of (when put on his chain), and sat wagging his tail looking at the doorknob.
Walking to him, the chain was unclipped from his neck, then the door was opened.
Walking into the porch Timmy did not follow me.
Turning to look, he was seen laying on his back wagging his tail.
(Damage done from trying to manhandle a 40 foot extension ladder suddenly spurred residual effects that i believed God completely healed. The right hip and lower spine were suddenly sending sharp stabbing pain after what i knew was a miracle.)
My flesh did not want to bend down and pet Timmy; however, telling God that i knew that i knew that He had already healed me almost 2000 years ago and that He manifested this for me time and again before, and this was no exception, i bent down and the pain was suddenly stabbing severely as though i had just injured myself in the same way again.

Timmy was rubbed on the chest until he got up, and again sat before the now open doorway, i pulled myself up by the railing on the stretch of walkway we were on.

Timmy, when he does, if he does, is prone to wander. . .and right when everyone except myself thinks that maybe this dog might not make it back home, he shows up.

Now limping to the door again, Timmy bolted through the backyard, down the street, and crossed over it. He then ran between two house and was gone.

Now i shouted for him two times. He slowed enough to look back both times, but kept on going.

Limping into the house, a pot of coffee was put on, and God said, "Go out there, get your bike to ride and get him back.

i said, "what???"

"You heard me."

"but. . ."


Leaving the kitchen, through the dining room, my way was made towards the stairs, and the pain got worse. Starting to limp up the stairs, by the time the stairway was done, i was almost crawling, crouched, bent over and pain stabbed worse than ever.

Crossing the threshold of our bedroom, the pain left this body instantly, but there is even now a residual ache still continues. Pamela, the woman God told me to marry, still lay in bed sound asleep.

Changing out of PJs and into jeans and a t-shirt, the pain began stabbing then leaving as quick as it came. The aching grew worse.

After putting on tennis shoes, standing back up, Jesus said,
"You are only listening to me. NOW! Look and live."

So i focused on scriptures that were poured into consciousness after those words.

While standing there, continuing in this the pain left completely. . .not even a throbbing. What remains is an ache as though this body had been sharply smitten directly on the right thigh.

The verses are being continued in even now.
No, they will not be revealed by this hand.
If you really do need to know, ask God.
(It's not some magickal formula used to make God do something. In fact, the verses do not even seem remotly related to this situation, but, for me they really are.)

Back to the dog situation. . .

So i finally go to get the mountain-bike currently used for things like running the dog, going places even a Lorrey cannot even go, etc.
(This too is another gift from God)

Standing on the end of that deck-runway where Timmy was petted at the opposite end, almost 40 minutes past from when this dog bolted off, i cried out to God again,
"Lord God Almighty, you know that i am not up for this. i got up to spend time WITH YOU! You have put you hand on this thigh and restored what our adversary tried to take away again. It is no big thing for you to bring Timmy back to me. Teach me, train me to continually look at you in even those times when i want to buckle under the stress or pain . . .
(and prayer to him continued.)

Right when thoughts about Timmy begin fading into the back of this mind, becoming a distant memory, almost forgotten,
His spirit spoke and said,"look at the railroad tracks."
(they are uphill about a 1/5th a kilometer from the front of this residence)

Timmy's figure was seen growing larger as he ran straight to me. By the time he was back, tears began flowing again again. He left one way and returned another. i called his name when he left. Calling out to God, he returned.

i don't know what this could mean to you. This is only forewarded being told to do so. It's just a true incident told for encouragement.

Many scrptural examples and teachings are flowing through this noggin' right now, but most of it will be left for you to think about how God involves himself with us. This is hardly an isolated instance and is so small by comparison of all the ways He delivers me and mine.

My wife was having severe physical 'female' troubles needing surgeon's attention, and today the doctor, with a confounded look in his demeanor but happy to give the news, gave her a clean bill of health. i went with, but not even having shaved, she wanted me to stay in the car. i recieved witness in my spirit before she ever got back to the car that all was well. . .and the tears began pouring out from these eyes again again again. She was walking back to the car, trying it seemed, to hide the huge grin on her face that she just couldn't hide, and i was already rejoicing praising our God.

Before she walked into the office, i told her i wanted to hear everything. Before she got back out i was rejoicing.

When she got back into the car she was told she need not say a word and how God told that everything was more than ok.

As we drove back home, she said, "God is sooo Good!"

It's supposed that one should ask, "what little things in your own life has God manifested his power. . .and if you are led to testify on this thread, GOD BLESS YOU. . .have at it! There are few things more thrilling on earth than hearing God's people testify about how he is working in our lives.

"Our Saviour, He can move the mountains. . .
. . .he is mighty to save...
our God is mighty to save..."
(i'de go get the guitar (another gift from God), then take it from the top. . . but you can only read this (from this computer--another gift from God).

Maybe you're one of those that thinks and possibly even says stuff like, "well, i don't believe that God does things like that anymore," or "maybe for you and not me" and all that can be thought towards response is, "according to your faith, be it unto you."

The one who cannot be fervent in expecting God to do what He has done for others should expect no more with God than what they put into knowing and asking our Heavenly Father, seeking Jesus in all things, and knocking on heaven's door.
Keep on asking and you shall recieve.
He does not care how bad you think you may be. All he cares about is if you will trust in Him or not. If you believe what He says, trust and obey Him. He will always come through for you.
Keep on seeking and you shall find.
The answer usually is not where we expect it.
Keep on knocking and the door will open.
His Holy Spirit can blow into your life more fully than ever before. . .just don't quit.
(Believing God unto obedience is not a matter of trying it to see if He will do for you what He promises. It's about getting out of the boat and not looking back, even when you think you are drowning. Look back to Jesus and do whatever you must to focus on Him.)

Is anything too hard for God???
With God, nothing is impossible.
(If in unbelief about all this, just check out how many times through out the scriptures things like this are said, as God is not a person, that He should lie. He never changes.)

He has no respect for anyone who thinks they are something, so realize if you consider yourself wise (in your own eyes,) you will only know opposition from God.
To the extend our thoughts and words and outward actions show that we do not believe God has promised to be for us, in us, and through us,
to this same extent we limit God being an active part of our lives.

What God has promised to be for us, by His name alone (I AM. . .), covers everything.
Still He says He honors His Word above his own name, so look to the scriptures and believe what God tells you through them.

. . .but how many times do we focus on circumstances and lose sight of the One whom we owe our very existence?

Peter did this when Jesus told him to come, and seeing the wind and the waves, he began sinking.

Some might think, "Well, what if i step out of the boat, and get lost in the moment, fearing circumstances, then quit looking to Jesus?"

You know what? i have done what Peter did many times over, and my belief has failed. i have feared men and/or circumstances knowing God wanted more for me. The thing is, if you will not turn back, no matter if you are drowning or suffering severely, even if you lose sight of Jesus, because you took those first steps and will not turn back, He will save you.

[Jesus, speaking about the very end of days, said, "He who endures to the end will be saved."]
(He said nothing of some magickal moment of rapture out of this world, so take heed. If you believe at all: that our heavenly Father answers every single one of Jesus' prayers, in light of the aforementioned, what did Jesus mean when He prayed," I pray not that thou shouldest take them out of the world, but that thou shouldest keep them from the evil." (Jn. 17.15). Again, every Bible example of God's deilverance is that of going through the trails of what brings judgement, but deliverance is out from under judgement, not neccessarily of things leading up to it. It is by going through these things we have opportunity to take part in the victory Jesus already won for us.(The day of the Lord is after the tribulation, not before, and not in the middle. The wrath poured out before and during the tribulation are the wrath of satan, not God's direct violent wrath. Deliverance comes by going through tribulation(s). Whether we overcome in them depends on: His mercy, the level we are relying on God alone, and/or his grace). Finally, consider Paul's word about the way of escape God makes for us:"There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.I Corinthians 10.13<--how does anybody escape any temptation and bear it at the same time?) )

Anyway, we see Peter did come to understand what this faith(fulness) found only in and through Jesus is all about.
Read what he later realized:
"Grace and peace be multiplied unto you through the knowledge of God,
and of Jesus our Lord,
According as his divine power
hath given unto us ALL THINGS
through the knowledge of him that hath called us to glory and virtue:
Whereby are given unto us
exceeding great and precious promises:
that by these ye might be partakers of the divine nature,
having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust.

['lust', until provoked, is something that
often found sitting dormant in our 'heart'<--the seat of our affections
Though sexual proclivities seems the most obvious example, contrary to Fruedian psychobabel, lust neither begins nor ends there.
Lust is any desire passionate enough to effects change in:
feelings, imaginings, thoughts, ideas, reasonings,
decisions, words, and/or deeds.
Peter is not talking about inordinate sex specifically, though this is included.
See that Peter is talking about lust that wars against every human's soul,
corrupting emotions and intellections first,
then manifests in the world, corrupting everything around us.
Believing in these wrong lusts as something good,
Until we know transformation
through true repentance unto God
in the cross, through the blood of Jesus Christ,
we can never know the resulting TRUE
full and complete conversion of our
thoughts, words and deeds.
If there is no true repentance and true conversion
one can never know the true manifestation of His Holy Spirit.

Look what Peter said days after
not just another Pentecost,
but the Pentecost of the REnewED covenant
(days after God's mighty spirit was first poured out on human flesh):
"Repent ye therefore,
and be converted,
that your sins may be blotted out,
when the times of refreshing shall come
from the presence of the Lord. . ."
(Acts 3.19)

What place does God hold in your living?
Have you given everything you want to Him?
Are whatever desires (seemingly good or bad)
that arise within you
now His own possession?
What about what you think?
What kind of words come out of your mouth?
What do you imagine?
What do you spend the majority of your time doing?

Have you really surrendered all to Jesus?

i know i have a long way to go,
yet we can still testify about the ways
we are taught to let go and let God.
Whether it is by being forced into a corner
or choosing God and just letting go
before the big problems
come to smack us down,
If we will just remember to keep our eyes fixed on Jesus,
the author and finisher of tHIS faith being created in us,
we can testify
about the faithfulness of God in Christ Jesus:
before, during, and after the trial(s).

And there was war in heaven: Michael and his angels fought against the dragon; and the dragon fought and his angels, And prevailed not; neither was their place found any more in heaven. And the great dragon was cast out, that old serpent, called the Devil, and Satan, which deceiveth the whole world: he was cast out into the earth, and his angels were cast out with him. And I heard a loud voice saying in heaven, Now is come salvation, and strength, and the kingdom of our God, and the power of his Christ: for the accuser of our brethren is cast down, which accused them before our God day and night. And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto the death.
~Revelation 12.7-11

Today is the day of preparation
before what is coming springs on the world like a trap.

Even so, Lord come quickly.

Love, hope, and faith,


 2011/7/12 17:40

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