| Re: related article|
I don't see the point of allowing any pornographic materials in a prison. I agree with those who reasons out that prison life is "supposed to be" different from the life outside, that is a place of restriction and confinement after all. But I think the stronger argument is that criminals of various sex-related cases are also held in a prison, so what positive change can we expect from them if they have access to the object of their desire? I'm positive that some criminals can change for the better if they want to and lead a meaningful life inside or outside of prison, but this kind of privilege will just feed the same fantasies that led them down the wrong path in the first place. Banning of these kind of materials should have been done long ago.
| 2011/7/13 6:43||Profile|
This world is not my home anymore.
| Re: Porn's destruction is infiltrating the church |
"[I]t is destroying our culture. It is destroying our families. It is destroying our children," Land said. ...
I dont believe that its one type of sin that is destroying our culture; it 100% sin, pure and simple, that is destroying our culture, our families and our children. Porn is just one ugly tentacle. Im trying to say that the underlying cause of porn is that there was sin in the camp to begin with.
Think about it for a moment.... We sow to the wind when we gossip, or criticize, and maybe a little lust here, a little there (just fill-in-the-blank with a sin), thinking it will be ok and wont affect anyone else BUT WE ARE REAPING THE WHIRLWIND with the effects of it on and in our families and especially in our children.
And the whirlwind comes in many shapes and sizes: F1 to F5 tornados, F1 to f5 hurricanes, typhoons, tsunamis, sandstorms (US just had one). And in my humble opinion, addiction to porn is just one angry breath of that whirlwind we are reaping.
God bless you,
| 2011/7/13 8:12||Profile|
| Re: |
I can honestly say it has destroyed my life. I was in as deep as any man could get. It ruined my health, and it very much affected my relationships with women for the worse. It would change my spirit as I became filled with demonic spirits, and it took away the good natural affections that I had towards women. It replaced those with raging lust.
1. My health. I'm not going into details.
2. Job. I could not hold a job longer than 18 months.
3. Single. I've never been married. I wasn't able to relate properly to women. So, it cost me getting married to a really nice Christian girl and having a family.
4. Service for the Lord was much reduced in that I became a zombie after a binge and couldn't function.
5. Lived an escapism life which lead to me being very lonely.
The author is right. And Jack Hayford was right when made a teaching tape series, "Why sexual sins are worse than others".
| 2011/7/16 11:18|
| Re: |
Thank you for your willingness to share. This is really tragic but your willingness to share will no doubt help others. Being honest is a ministry to the Body in itself.
| 2011/7/16 11:57||Profile|
| Re: |
Sarah I truly hope that your daughters can walk out the guidance that you and your husband have given them. There is so much pressure on young people now days in the area of their sexuality. Most all of them have seen porn by the time they are 10 or 11, and the sexual promiscuity at their high school is through the roof. I love the stories where a young man and woman meet at some particular event and they never even date anybody else and wind up getting married and living happily ever after. In fact I know a young lady that recently got married, and that would be her story. I have never believed this nonsense that you have to date 15 or 20 different people to know who you are compatible with. That is the world's way of thinking.
I hope you will read that link to the book by Jack Hayford. It will encourage you. And, I've posted this before on this board I think, but I will repost the 2 stories about how the Lord spoke to me about meeting women in my own life.
And thanks so much for your prayers. I truly believe that I will walk out of this by the grace of God.
Meeting Christian Girls Gods Way
I just want to tell you a couple of stories that illustrate how very involved the Lord is in our relationships. Both of these incidents happened when I was still in the illicit sexual behavior that has been in my life for a long time. Whether you believe them or not, they are absolutely true and I'm not going to exaggerate one bit.
When I was about 32, I was driving to a Steven Curtis Chapman concert at a place in Euless, TX called Footloose. It was a Christian entertainment type thing that isn't there anymore. Anyway, I had been praying for a while to the Lord that I might be able to meet a Latina type woman. I know that may sound weird, but I have always been attracted to petite dark-haired or brunette women. Maybe I just felt inferior dating a "normal" white girl. I guess that had something to do with it. Anyway, when I was about 1 mile from Footloose, the Lord spoke to me (not audibly) as clearly as ever and He asked, "You want a Latina girl?" I'm telling you that's what He said. I arrived at the concert and took a seat towards the back in the middle section before the concert started. I was sitting by myself. Sometime just before the concert started, I noticed there was this really cute petite Latina type girl sitting next to me on my right. I had been sitting by myself, but the place had begun to really fill up. This girl had the whole Latina look with the blue jeans and bright red shoes and dark hair, etc. She was about 5'1" tall and probably weighed about 100 lbs. I talked to her off and on during the concert. She was from Nicaragua and her family had just came to the United States during the Contra freedom fighter thing that was happening in Nicaragua during the Reagan Presidency. She thought she didn't speak good English, but she really spoke good English. She was an adorable girl. She was 21 years old. During the concert this girl kept bumping into me too which I thought was unusual. I know you may think this is funny, but it's true. When the concert was over I stayed in my seat for a while because I wanted to wait for the crowd to die down before I left, and I also wanted to buy a couple albums. This girl got up to leave with the people she came with. As she was waiting in the line to get out the door, she kept looking over at me like, "you moron aren't you even going to ask me for my phone number?" Unfortunately I had on my mind what I was going to do in Dallas after I left the concert which was not good. It wasn't until a while afterward that I actually realized what had happened and what the Lord spoke to me just before I got to the concert that night. The thing is, I wanted to do things my way (illicit) by going to Dallas instead of the Lord's way which was to start a relationship with this beautiful girl I had met at this concert. She was what I had requested (physically anyway) in prayer, but I was too stupid or whatever to trust the Lord in this situation. I wanted to handle things my way.
Fast forward about 14 years and I guess I was about 46 at the time. I had gone for almost a year without the illicit activity in my life. I thought that I was over it. I went to a TCU football game in Ft. Worth, TX near the time of Thanksgiving. I prayed for a while before I went to the game, and I was praying that the Lord would deliver me from going to the strip places in Ft. Worth where there were drugs and prostitution. As I was praying the Lord spoke to me just as clearly as he had the first time and He said, "There is someone at the game I want you to meet". I didn't know what to think of this, but I didn't think I had my act together enough to start a relationship. I went to the game. It was a night game and due to being near the holidays there weren't quite as many people there. TCU was winning and they upset #17 ranked Louisville at that game. There was this girl I had noticed there that was so attractive to me. She was the type of girl that I had told the Lord I would like to have as a wife. Again, I'm talking physical attraction here. You know how shallow us guys are about this. Anyway, this girl was "hot" to use the modern term. At least she was to me and I thought I wish I could meet somebody like her. I thought for sure this girl had to be married. I never more than glanced at her, and she never saw me looking at her. With about 2 minutes left in the game I moved down to a completely different section of stands near the 10 yard line. I did this because I was making my way out of the stadium and wanted to beat the crowd out a little bit. I was about 4 or 5 rows back in this section of stands and there was NOBODY in this entire section of stands except me. All of the sudden this girl that I had noticed walks down and stands right next to me!! I looked at her, and she kind of awkwardly looked away out of embarrassment I guess. Now, my mind is racing. This time I realize that I am right in the middle of what the Lord told me was going to happen. But I begin to justify in my mind why I can't have a relationship with this girl. I'm not enough this or that or the other thing. I never opened my mouth and after about a minute or two of her standing there, she went back to hang out with the people she came to the game with. I didn't talk to her because I can't talk to women. I have no problem with that or making conversation, etc. I guess I just couldn't believe that a girl as attractive as this girl was would really like me if she knew who I really was. So guess what? After the game was over I went to the seedy section of Ft. Worth like clockwork.
The moral of these two stories? The Lord knows the number of hairs on each head of all 6 billion people on Earth, so surely He can "hook you up" with somebody if you will just seek Him about it. It's no big deal to Him. When we insist on going our own way or insist on this person or that person, we may very well get them but it could also mean more problems. The Lord may very well give us what we want. I just found that going my way has lead to heartache and ruin. It is the opposite of true love, closeness, intimacy, children, family, etc. all the things I really wanted--not just sex.
So that's it.
| 2011/7/16 12:25|
| Re: |
No matter what others tell you or your daughters about overlooking pasts, and forgiving mistakes (which is extremely important) I wholeheartedly and 100% agree with your and your husband's wisdom regarding the type of guys you would like to see your daughters with. I know far too many Christian guys who though they've never been involved in any sexual immorality themselves, say they're willing to marry girls who have, and overlook it, mostly because that's really the only options they have to choose from it would seem.
I myself, as a single younger man, would much rather stay single than live a life with someone who freely shared their body with another person before our relationship began. Unfortunately finding girls like that, seems to be rare (as I've honestly not yet met one in any church setting who I'd find compatible) and many guys are just kind of begrudgingly going along with the "let the past be the past", though I think secretly they're rather off put and troubled by it.
I know you directed your question at Endzone not blaming you for your stance, but I'll answer as well, and say that I find your stance totally respectable. I wish more of the girls of my generation had mothers and fathers who were willing to set the standard high for their daughters.
Don't let anyone tell you, your husband, or your daughters otherwise.
| 2011/7/16 12:40||Profile|
| Re: |
Thank you, Everest. You also bring up a very good point. It is not just men but women also, and in increasing measure.
Men should also believe God to bring someone with sexual purity to them.
| 2011/7/16 13:42||Profile|
| Re: |
I almost think that I don't want my children marrying anyone that has had a promiscuous lifestyle before they were Christian. In fact, I don't think, I don't want them to, period.
I have 4 unmarried daughters - 3 of them in their 20's. We have held to the same stance as you. I agree in my head. But given the culture we live in where there is pornography any time you step foot outside your door or even go to the grocery store, and given the depravity of the human soul, I wonder if such a man exists.....I am not referring to fornication, but to lust, to viewing and desiring women wrongly... I know my daughters are asking me if such a man exists, and I have to say to them, "I don't know...." It is a grief to me to even type these words. (and I should probably say that of course it has nothing to do with forgiveness and the blood of Christ covering ANY sin)
And another topic for another thread, but are we as Christian women dressing in a way that does NOT in any way cause a brother to stumble??
| 2011/7/16 13:53||Profile|
| Re: |
Even in a marriage, true contentment and fulfillment is in the Lord, ultimately, and we could never look to one another to fill that need. I hope you know what I am saying.
Though none go with me, still I will follow...
| 2011/7/16 14:14||Profile|
| Re: but we teach our daughters that such a man does exist in Jesus Christ and that their primary des|
I must have misunderstood you - I thought you were saying that you were waiting for a man who had NEVER struggled with issues of lust.....
We are in agreement....
| 2011/7/16 14:32||Profile|