Andy, I really feel for where you are at for I know what it is like. Check out Psalm 130 - I expect this identifies quite a bit with where you are at. It is certainly one I have prayed through before.
I really do believe that it's important to trust (really, really trust) in the promises of God for salvation regardless of feelings, and it is from that point on that our faith & obedience grow.
I was struck by the account of Finney's conversion that was posted up not that long ago (https://www.sermonindex.net/modules/newbb/viewtopic.php?mode=viewtopic&topic_id=37572&forum=40&start=20&viewmode=flat&order=1)
Notice how in the midst of despair, he remembered a promise in scripture and clung to it. It was only after he had done this (some hours later) that he had an overwhelming experience of the Holy Spirit.
That kind of experience doesn't happen to every Christian, but I still think it's vital we repeat God's promises to ourselves until we believe them. This isn't some mere 'intellectual assent' but an utter casting of ourselves into God hands. I too struggle with doubt in this area and my only real hope at the moment seems to be in casting myself on the mercy of Jesus - not looking at any good in myself or in some feeling.
Here are a few scriptures that contain the kind of promises I'm talking about.
Everything that the Father gives me will come to me, and anyone who comes to me I will never drive away. (John 6:37)
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. (Matt 11:28-30)
If we confess our sins, he who is faithful and just will forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9)
My little children, I am writing these things to you so that you may not sin. But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous; and he is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not for ours only but also for the sins of the whole world. (1 John 2:1-2)
Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax-collector. The Pharisee, standing by himself, was praying thus, God, I thank you that I am not like other people: thieves, rogues, adulterers, or even like this tax-collector. I fast twice a week; I give a tenth of all my income. But the tax-collector, standing far off, would not even look up to heaven, but was beating his breast and saying, God, be merciful to me, a sinner! I tell you, this man went down to his home justified rather than the other; for all who exalt themselves will be humbled, but all who humble themselves will be exalted. (Luke 18:9-14)
All the prophets testify about him that everyone who believes in him receives forgiveness of sins through his name." (Acts 10: 43)
Let it be known to you therefore, my brothers, that through this man forgiveness of sins is proclaimed to you; by this Jesus everyone who believes is set free from all those sins from which you could not be freed by the law of Moses. (Acts 13: 38)
If you confess with your lips that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For one believes with the heart and so is justified, and one confesses with the mouth and so is saved. The scripture says, No one who believes in him will be put to shame. (Romans 10:9-11)
In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace that he lavished on us. (Ephesians 1:7-8)
This was in accordance with the eternal purpose that he has carried out in Christ Jesus our Lord, in whom we have access to God in boldness and confidence through faith in him. (Ephesians 3:11-12)
Therefore, my friends, since we have confidence to enter the sanctuary by the blood of Jesus, by the new and living way that he opened for us through the curtain (that is, through his flesh), and since we have a great priest over the house of God, let us approach with a true heart in full assurance of faith, with our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water. (Hebrews 10:19-22)
All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ, and has given us the ministry of reconciliation; that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself,* not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting the message of reconciliation to us. So we are ambassadors for Christ, since God is making his appeal through us; we entreat you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God. (2 Corinthians 5:18-21)
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