The physical suffering of Christ was grievous beyond words, but the deepest pain He went through was the pain of being separated from God... and He cried out in that pain, "My God my God, why hast Thou forsaken Me?"

Notice, in the midst of that, He still worshipped. With His hands spread out on the Cross, He bowed His head and worshipped.

Yes, what you're going through is very hard... VERY HARD... and the hardest part about it is, Where is God? God is silent through it all... and that has always been the most grievous thing his own have had to go through.

But I tell you, He is watching over us in times like this.

...You have two choices. You can forsake Him, you can turn back and walk no more with Him. Many have done that. "Demas hath forsaken me, having loved this present world."

Or, you can continue to take up your Cross, and follow Him...

Follow Him? In an hour when He is being crucified all over again?

And discover the same Cross, the Cross of Christ, in your own life?

"Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him" (Job 13.15).

In other words, even if You don't speak to me Lord, ever again, and even if you don't come through for me... I am going to trust you.

I will worship You... come what may.

What can I do in my grievous circumstances? What did Job do? He rent his garments, shaved his head, fell on the ground... and worshipped.

I can worship Him. When there's nothing else I can do, I can worship Him.

_________________
Allan Halton

...Although the fig tree shall not blossom, neither shall fruit be in the vines; the labour of the olive shall fail, and the fields shall yield no meat; the flock shall be cut off from the fold, and there shall be no herd in the stalls: yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will joy in the God of my salvation. The LORD God is my strength, and he will make my feet like hinds' feet, and he will make me to walk upon mine high places...
(Habakkuk 3.17-19)




Nebuchadnezzar spake and said unto them, "Is it true, O Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, do not ye serve my gods, nor worship the golden image which I have set up? Now if ye be ready that at what time ye hear the sound of the cornet, flute, harp, sackbut, psaltery, and dulcimer, and all kinds of musick, ye fall down and worship the image which I have made; well: but if ye worship not, ye shall be cast the same hour into the midst of a burning fiery furnace; and who is that God that shall deliver you out of my hands?"

Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, answered and said to the king,
"O Nebuchadnezzar, we are not careful to answer thee in this matter. If it be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of thine hand, O king; but if not, be it known unto thee, O king, that we will not serve thy gods, nor worship the golden image which thou hast set up."
(Daniel 3.14-18)

Codek, my heart goes out to you. I know what it is like to lose everything for the sake of the kingdom and then sit there with nothing to show for, looking like a fool to everyone and experiencing God's silence when you need Him most to speak and give guideance. At that point I had two choices: Giving up on God or giving myself to God. I know you can't see it right now, but I can see the wisdom of God in bringing you to this point, where it is either all or nothing.
You will say that you already did this, giving yourself to God. I have read your list of all the things you did, but your words tell me that while you have given much and tried very hard, your heart is not fully surrendered to God. Could it in fact be in rebellion against Him at this point? Consider the possibility that the Lord allowed all your misery for no other reason than to bring that streak of rebellion out into the light and to sanctify you. He loves you as His son, therefore He will discipline you with the rod if necessary. Will you accept it?
It is not the amount of books we read, money we give or services we attend that will bring us into communion with Him, in fact, none of our efforts at all, but the humble adoration of our hearts. He is worthy! He is worthy of all our trust and obedience, no matter what happens to us.
Brother, there is a way out from where you are right now:
Repent from the anger, accusations and resentment you have held against God. Repent also from your own efforts and works and ask God's forgiveness. Acknowledge that you have nothing to give or bring to Him and that you only stand justified before Him on the works of Jesus. To Him be all the Glory. Commit yourself to humbly walking with God, resting in Jesus (ask Him to teach you this!) and His finished work, and daily telling Him that you lay your life into His hands because He is worthy. Do not base your response on whether the Lord answers your prayers or speaks to you or gives you feelings of His presence. Be prepared to worship Him forever, just because of who He is. If you need Him to "earn" that response from you, look to the cross.
Your alternative is to walk from God, let the devil win his game and destroy you in the end. I pray you will choose God!

Psalms 51:17 The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.

Hi Codek,

Much wisdom has been given in this thread, but I can testify that even the best counsels given from the mouths of humans lips cannot satisfy a soul desperate from a word from the Eternal One.

For me, I try to stand with those in Hebrews 11 that looked not at this age but the one to come (vs. 13-16). The salvation of our souls is the end of our faith (1 Pet. 1:9). So in that, I try to always view the end and not be discouraged by the present, as it can only serve to choke out God's word (Mark 4:14-19).

Blessings.

_________________
Paul

Praise God! Hallelujah! Finally someone who is honest!

You are right where you need to be. There is nothing to "do" to feel right or whatever. Just live your life and watch God do awesome things through someone who knows they are no good.

simple. Why can't people who have doctoral degrees figure this out?


stay blessed dude!

"And you shall remember that the Lord your God led you all the way these forty years in the wilderness, to humble you and test you, to know what was in your heart, whether you would keep His comandments or not."

"So He humbled you, allowed you to hunger, and fed you with manna which you did not know nor did your fathers know, that He might make you know that man shall not live on bread alone; but man lives by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God."

(Deut. 8:2-3)

Jesus never fails! Hebrews 4:9-11 "There remaineth therefore a rest to the people of God. For he that is entered into his rest, he also hath ceased from his own works, as God did from his. Let us labour therefore to enter into that rest, lest any man fall after the same example of unbelief." When we "rest" in Him we have ceased from our own struggling. We have finally surrendered.
I lost my job and was unemployed for a year and a half. It was quite depressing and it seemed like I had time to dwell on things. I sought God for future ministry, but some of them just stopped. What was God trying to teach me? Soon some lessons were learned and God came through with new opportunities. I praise Him because He never fails.
If Satan can get us to give up and quit, he's got us where he wants us. But we must be faithful till death. He has promised to be with us to the end.
You are in my prayers. Look to Jesus for He is our only hope.

_________________
James

[Codek's quote
I really do hate you. haha. Every time I'm about to quit. I seriously was just going to say forget all of this and do my thing.]


That's good because you know that its your choice whether you chose to continue or abandon God. You can give any reason from God's silence or somebody else might give the reason of its too difficult to continue. Its still yours or the other person's choice. But know this Matthew 16:25 For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it.


[Codek's quote
This happens. I don't get it. Always showing up at the last moment.]

That's because God doesn't want you to quit. The Christian life is not an easy one. Leonard Ravenhill once said (I paraphrase) : Christianity is rejected not because they find it lacking but because its difficult.

Each of us will have different trials with different intensities. I do believe that not hearing from God/the silence is one of the most difficult of all. It makes one want to give up and not have the courage to continue and yes sometimes, just want to die too. But its then that we have to pull out all the stops to keep pushing on. It may be that you need to repent more/pray more/read more/rest more--I do not know what combination or what it is for you. But I do know that if we keep seeking Him, keep loving and trusting Him, then He will show Himself to be faithful. Isaiah 55, 56.

_________________
geraldine