Perhaps you went too fast.

"Verily I say unto you, Whosoever shall not receive the kingdom of God as a little child shall in no wise enter therein." (Luke 18:17)

This is the point we must start at with Jesus.

"Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." (Matthew 11:28-30)

"Now to him that worketh is the reward not reckoned of grace, but of debt.
But to him that worketh not, but believeth on him that justifieth the ungodly, his faith is counted for righteousness." (Romans 4:4-5)

"For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast." (Ephesians 2:8-9)

"But God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty; And base things of the world, and things which are despised, hath God chosen, yea, and things which are not, to bring to nought things that are: THAT NO FLESH SHOULD GLORY IN HIS PRESENCE. But of him are ye in Christ Jesus, who of God is made unto us wisdom, and righteousness, and sanctification, and redemption: That, according as it is written, He that glorieth, let him glory in the Lord." (1 Corinthians 1:27-31)

Codek, its hard isn't it. When we seem to have given up everything only to be seemingly met by nothing. You are not the only one that seems to have experience this.

But at the end of the day, all of us have 1 choice to make and that is either we continue to seek God until He answers (even if it takes us our whole lives) or we give up. If we give up, we can do whatever we like in this life but we always face the possibility of eternal suffering when we die. Or we can chose to give up this life with the possibility that we will end up in Heaven with God. The choice is yours.

When I first was saved, I made up my mind that if it ever turns out that I was not truly saved, I would spend this whole life looking for Him, no matter how long it took. That's the choice I made. If He turns out to be false or I was never saved, I would still be willing to lose this life to search for Him--that's the choice I made. I hope you make the same choice too.


With regards to your survival/savings/job, go and try to find a job. God has commanded us all to work--those that do not work who are able to, should not eat. You need a job to survive in this world. Find a job and continue to look for God.

I'm going to end with this true account of Joseph, a missionary from Gospel For Asia. He left his factory job to spread the gospel in a remote place in India. The people didn't like him, he carried gospel tracts on his head and when he was tired, he dragged it to bring the tracts to the people. He fasted, prayed etc. He didn't get a single convert. For at least 2 years this continued. Finally he cried out to God to send him to another place--anywhere but here. And God told him why would he go anywhere else when He placed him in that place. Finally he reached out to the kids and slowly the parents came asking wanting to know more about Jesus etc whom the kids sang about. Then only did he managed to get his converts. I do not know how many years it took, I only know it took more than 2 years.

God is going to test us and test us and refine and refine us. At the end of the day, only those that persevere will make it. It doesn't mean that we don't make any mistakes or sin, it just means that we persevere and cling onto Jesus till the end. Its a choice that we have to make.

Go and find a job to feed your physical self and continue to seek God to feed your spiritual self.

_________________
geraldine

No, fastest is not necessarily the best. Do you see that in scripture? I honestly don't.

38Now it came to pass, as they went, that he entered into a certain village: and a certain woman named Martha received him into her house.

39And she had a sister called Mary, which also sat at Jesus' feet, and heard his word.

40But Martha was cumbered about much serving, and came to him, and said, Lord, dost thou not care that my sister hath left me to serve alone? bid her therefore that she help me.

41And Jesus answered and said unto her, Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things:

42But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her. (Luke 10:38-42)

I know these were not addressed to me, but would like to reply to these 2 quotes.

[Codek asked :
is there a too fast? The fastest is the best?]


Answer:
Yes, there can be a too fast. The fastest is not necesarily the best if its not God's choice. Only God's way is the best. Sometimes we want to run into doing this or that for God--it doesn't work. We think we know best or this is what God wants when God knows us better and know that if we do this now, we will not be able to bear it.

Remember Mary and Martha. Martha was busy preparing to serve people while her seemingly selfish sister was not helping, instead she was sitting at Jesus's feet listening to Him. Martha asked Jesus to get Mary to help her. What did Jesus tell Martha. He told her that Mary chose the better way.

Similarly, Abraham agreed to Sarah's idea to have intercourse with Sarah's maid Hagar in order to have a child. Hey, God promised him a heir, why not through this means. As we can see, it was not God's intention that the heir was Ishamael or was it at this time (Abraham had to wait for another 12-13 years before Isaac was born). A long long wait indeed.

-----------------------------------------------------------

[Quote by Heartsong:
Get down on your face, close your eyes, and praise Him.]

[Answer by Codek:
been there, done that. I wept too. x50. still not here]


Remember the story I told of Joseph, the missionary from GFA(Gospel for Asia). Well, he fasted, prayed etc for at least 2 years. God sent him to be a missionary there--surely he would have success there right. But it seemed hopeless. Not a single convert. He seemingly did everything right--prayed for hours, fasted for months at a time, etc . Must be hard. All alone and nobody liked you. Carried/dragged tracts to a remove area over and over again. Wonder what others thought of him. Surely there must be at least a few Christians that would snicker at him or think that his heart is not right or that he did not repent on something. He must have cried many times. But yet he kept persevering until success.

Remember Noah. I wonder how many years it took him to build the ark that God commanded him. Surely pretty much almost if not all people (which may include his family) snickered at him and thought him mad. The size of the ark would be difficult to conceal. Surely every time he went out to work on the ark, there will be laughter and derision. Going out there, working on it, year after year with those ancient tools (no cranes, no electric saws etc) must be terribly difficult and I wonder whether he ever had moments of doubt.


The thing is following God is tough. Very tough. It is not that we have to suffer for 'x' years or cry 'x' number of times before God finally turns up or we are validated. Nobody knows how long or how hard it will be for their own selves--only God knows. But what we need to do is continue to persevere and place our trust in Him.

_________________
geraldine

17 Though the fig tree does not bud
and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crop fails
and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen
and no cattle in the stalls,
18 yet I will rejoice in the LORD,
I will be joyful in God my Savior.
(Habakkuk 3:17-18)

_________________
Benjamin Kreps

I know you may not like this but I would just like to point to this, You keep saying God doesn't talk to you or his voice is silent on the matter. I made this same mistake for the longest time and was struggling with the same thing. No Answer, No Reply. But the Lord lovingly corrected me on this. The Bible is the VERY Word of God and IS His voice! I know you have been reading the bible that really can't be disputed but have you read it in the since of God speaking to you directly rather than giving a source of advice?

This is the intentions of God to answer us through His Word, those thoughts you have could be you, Satan, or God BUT if it lines up with the Word of God you can pretty much throw Satan's voice because He can quote scripture but its always out of context. God is speaking if we are willing to listen and hear him.

The struggles we go through are but a moment compared to eternity, Momentary light afflications but we recieve an eternal weight of Glory. Something I have found also in my search for Christ Jesus is we can't do work and expect a return or read a certain amount and BAM God must answer. I know someone as spoke on this but it is a major error on the part of many. We as humans CAN'T manipulate God anytime and everytime God blesses us its not because of the work WE DO but is an Extention of God's Grace (unearned, unmerited favor).

As for marriage, Paul makes it clear, its the choice of the person and their convictions. If you are going to be consumed by Lust then yes please do get married, if you need a companion get married. But if God has told you don't do it through the Holy Spirit and those are your conviction then I wouldn't again as long as you aren't consumed with Lust. Something that happened for me though, I prayed and prayed Lord send me a wife and companion I wrestled with God on this and finally I just gave up and said Lord I just want You. Later God blessed me with a wife because He saw I needed one and knew just the right moment and time as well.

I know many Christians that would cast you off because you don't work and would quote Paul saying "Those that Don't Work Don't Eat." Though I disagree with the context of such a statement and believe everyone should eat because we are to be merciful I would say its good to work. Paul gives us the example of working his trade (tentmaking) and preaching the gospel all at the same time. I believe this is because Paul understood the concept of Giving God all the glory whether He was making a tent or preaching the gospel.

But if this doesn't presuade you dear brother Go to bars, drink to your hearts content, sleep with women of all sorts, Live as you wish BUT I know what this world has to offer because I did all of these and to my destruction and ruin. Know this Sin will Always end with Death eternal everytime. I will be praying for you.

_________________
Matthew Guldner

". . .it is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment. . ." (Heb. 9.27)


codek,

Speaking from experience, this is normal.

When i stepped back and examined myself in the throes of dispair, i saw that all the things i thought i was doing for God, it was seen that this was just not the case. i was doing everything just the same with only a different venue.

I. . .did this
I. . .did that
and then, because God does not respond through MY EFFORTS
I WILL. . .do whatever seems best.

Look to Jesus example and see if you measure up:
Why did He do what He did?
How did He go about doing what He did?

The course i was following is clearly spelled out from Rom. 1.18 to Rom. 2.2.

The end result is spelled out from Rom. 2.3 to 2.11.


The choice is yours, and you have already done those things you say you will go back to.

Is that way better?
What is the end result.

Quit looking for YOUR satisfaction and learn what really pleases God.

Sermons or your own efforts or any book besides the scriptures themselves is not what God's word tells us to do.

In Matthew 4.4, Jesus said, "Man shall...live by...EVERY WORD that proceeds out of the mouth of God."

Focus on relating with God on His terms.

Prayer is sadly lacking in your life, and when you do pray, you are using it as a means to establish yourself instead of simply communing with God.

Thanksgiving and praise is to be continually on our lips. If you can't think of anything, start with thanking Him He let you be born in the first place, then proceed from there. . .like just the fact that you are still breathing right now. . .and so on.

As well, ingrain yourself in the scriptures and the barren sensations will leave if you persist. This one activity alone will train you into what God's best purpose for you really is. To the extent of your familiarity with God's Word, even so your relationship with Him and knowledge of Him will be.

Towards prayer, personalize the Psalms so that you are speaking to God through them.
(Psalm 42 might be a good start; and then Psalm 143?)


Towards learning His Word, from John, go through Mark, then Luke, then Matthew. . .repeat again and again and. . .

Forget what you think is right to do and follow in Jesus' footsteps.

Quit acting like a servant and learn friendship with God so you can come to understand that Jesus is your brother, not some distant phantasy.

Finally, whoever has read this far,
follow me in this:
supplicate with Him
then interceed for this one person:
codek, who has rejoined us.


God's bounty to everyone
fixed faithfully in Him,

g

p.s. Our life is but a vapor: like the flowers of the field that are here one day then cast into the oven.

The Word of God lives and abides forever. Remain in Him.
(See John 14.1 - 16.16)

FEAR GOD AND RUN FROM EVIL.
Keep yourself from idols.

ADDENDUM:
https://www.sermonindex.net/modules/newbb/viewtopic.php?topic_id=36763&forum=34

THANKS SHERI!





edited: ADDENDUM