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Spitfire
Member



Joined: 2004/8/3
Posts: 633


 Something Strange is Happening

Hello Friends. Something strange is happening to me. I've been meditating so much on letting go of my life. I've been realizing how I have lived by the spirit of this world and how self serving I have been. I've been repenting of these things. But, now that I'm really getting ahold of the truth that my life is not about my dreams coming true and I've been letting go of my dreams, I feel really blah. It's strange, but now I don't know what to do with myself. I suppose, before, I kept myself encouraged by telling myself that God loves me and wants to bless me, but now, I know my life isn't about me being all happy in this life. Today I went to work, and it was just so meaningless. So much of what I have lived for has suddenly become so meaningless. I'm just trusting that I'm in a stage that leads to real life and peace. I don't like the way I feel right now. It seems I can only wait for the Lord. Somebody tell me I'm on the right track.

 2004/11/1 14:45Profile
lwpray
Member



Joined: 2003/6/22
Posts: 3318
Sweden

 Re: Something Strange is Happening



The Great Divide: the Cross
Now the Bible is divided into two main divisions, what we call the Old Testament and the New Testament; but, note, it is more than a division of books - Genesis to Malachi comprising so many books, one half of the Bible: then from Matthew to Revelation, so many books, and thus the Bible is divided into two. Oh, but it is much more than a division of books. It is this great divide, this spiritual divide.
The four Gospels, - what do they really mean? When you have stood back and asked yourself that question, - what do they represent? First of all, they introduce the Person Who Himself is the crisis and Who brings in and precipitates the crisis and changes the dispensational in its entirety. The Gospels have introduced the Person Who does that and Who is that: this is the crisis of the Christ.

But you notice, of course, that all the four Gospels, while differing in details of content, all four Gospels head straight, direct, up to the Cross. Every one of them has this characteristic in common, whatever other differences there may be, they all have this in common, that they climax with the Cross. The Person of the crisis is introduced, and the crisis itself is the crisis of the Cross. The Cross is the crisis of the change that has come in with the Person. And this is what it amounts to: here is the Person, here is His earthly life and walk, work and teaching, but none of that can become of any value to you until the Cross has been planted over it all. You can have all there is about the historic Jesus and the theological Christ, but nothing will happen until all that is in those Gospels is brought right up to the Cross, and the Cross makes effective the crisis of the Person.

The result and the issue is that between the two divisions of the Bible, between the Old Testament and the New Testament, right there is the Cross. Right there you have got to put the Cross. Between Malachi and Matthew, so far as books are concerned (and I am not speaking of the chronological order of the Bible, but about the spiritual understanding of it), so far as books are concerned, you must put the Cross right there because on the one side of the Cross, all that goes before and leads up to Malachi, all that has been from Genesis to Malachi, on that side of the Cross, to that side the Cross says: ”No more, no more. No, finished! That is done with.” And then from that point on, from Matthew to Revelation, to that side the Cross says what? ”Yes, all things new!”
If I were to illustrate, I would draw a big cross and I would draw a thick line right down the center from the top of the Cross to the bottom of it, not only would I draw this line on the Cross but I would begin drawing the line above the Cross right down from heaven through the Cross to the devil, a wide line - no man’s land - and then on one side of the Cross I would write one word, one big comprehensive word, ”NOT,” as big as the Cross. Then on the other side of the Cross, the onward side, not the backward side, I would put one other word, ”BUT.”

”Not”-”But”
Now brethren, I have just said something that to experience can take up all your time for the rest of your life. Do you know those two words are two governing words throughout the whole of your New Testament; and if you would care to make a very close, analytical study of your New Testament in the light of this, underlining every occurrence where these two words are used together, you will have an immense, new comprehension (revelation) of the meaning of Christ and of the difference that He has made, of the great divide, and of what we are in.
The ”not” and the ”but” applies to everything. It Is made to apply to the very beginning of Christian history in the individual.
Open your Gospel by John. Where are you at once? ‘Which were born, not of bloods, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God. ” Here is your big ”Not”-”But” at the very beginning, and if I went on to show you how this applies to everything in the New Testament [and we are going to come to it later on in some particulars] you would see the Cross, with its great divide and center looking backward over all that has been right up to that closed door, no way through. This is God’s great ”NOT” - ah, but in the resurrection, and remember resurrection is in the positive always, and in the resurrection ”BUT” is in the positive.

Now ”neither” is only another word for ”not”. ”For in Christ Jesus neither circumcision availeth any thing, nor uncircumcision, but a new creature (creation)” - ”Not But,” and so you could go on. It is just wonderful how those two words open up everything and give us an insight into what has come to us and what we have come into with the coming of Jesus Christ.
And here is this great division - with the Cross there between the testaments, there at the end of Malachi [which is a tragic, tragic book of the failure of everything in the past] and at the beginning of Matthew [which is a book of hope, light, life, everything fresh, new]. With this division is the great ”BUT” of a new order of things: it is the end of a system and the beginning of an entirely new one. The Cross of the Lord Jesus has written these two words over the whole history covered by the Bible. The Bible is intended to comprehend human history, and human history is comprehended in these two words: ”Not” ”But.”

Now there is something here that I must say, and I hope that it may be helpful. The Cross is a very practical thing. With God, the Cross is not the doctrine, or just the doctrine, of the way of salvation, the way of redemption. The Cross is not just the theology of the atonement, and all such doctrine, and it is certainly not just the historic thing represented by the crucifix. The Cross is an immensely practical thing with God, intended to make actual this divide; and although you may know all about the message of the Cross (or believe that you do), although you may be full of the teaching of the Cross, the real test of the knowledge that you have about the Cross is where this divide has been made in you, where the Cross has resulted in the leaving behind of one entire regime and system and order.

But Ye are come unto Mount Zion
T. Austin-Sparks


The whole book is sent to you as an e-mail, on request.
[email protected]

L.W.


_________________
Lars Widerberg

 2004/11/1 14:52Profile
Rahman
Member



Joined: 2004/3/24
Posts: 1374


 Re: Something Strange is Happening



Spitfire, it sounds as tho you're in need of balance ...


Pss.62
[9] Surely men of low degree are vanity, and men of high degree are a lie: to be laid in the balance, they are altogether lighter than vanity.
[10] Trust not in oppression, and become not vain in robbery: if riches increase, set not your heart upon them.
[11] God hath spoken once; twice have I heard this; that power belongeth unto God.
[12] Also unto thee, O Lord, belongeth mercy: for thou renderest to every man according to his work.

Job.31
[4] Doth not he see my ways, and count all my steps?
[5] If I have walked with vanity, or if my foot hath hasted to deceit;
[6] Let me be weighed in an even balance, that God may know mine integrity.


i've felt just the way you've felt about being motivated more out of the Spirit, than the natural, material, carnal ... And i know the blah feeling you speak of, but this will ease as it is early withdrawal symptoms from your cutting off even more of "self" ... i keep praying the Lord that i want to work for Him full time, and that i'm tired of my secular work, but in the meanwhile i don't slack in my secular job because it was drilled into my head by my Dad that a good job is part of "every good and perfect gift comes from above", and that on the job God's given me i'm to follow this scriptural admonision ...

Col.3
[22] Servants, obey in all things your masters according to the flesh; not with eyeservice, as menpleasers; but in singleness of heart, fearing God:
[23] And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men;
[24] Knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for ye serve the Lord Christ.

My Dad always taught his children that it was God who promoted, and demoted, and no matter what, as long as God had us on a job, we were to work it unto Him, which in turn becomes a living witness, and testimony to unbelievers in this regard ... i'm a witness to this in that last year i got a demotion, and a pay cut, but i still work with the same integrity as i did before, and it has given me numerable opportunities to witness what i've just said ...

Spitfire you've asked God to take you to another place, another level, and be assured that God will honor you eventually with His perfect peace, which supasses all understanding while you're waiting on Him to mount you up with eagles wings, so keep on praying, and keep on seeking Him diligently, and keep in mind that what you're doing is out of total love for Him ...

But be careful not to let your blahness spill over into a lacadaisical attitude about your employment, because this is an important ministry in itself ... The other thing is that your material dreams and aspirations may not be such a bad thing as long as they don't become groves and high places in your life ... i myself have material desires of my heart, but if i never get them that's ok too because my halleleujah ain't hinged on material things ... Scripture says, "Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart" ... i always say do the easy part, "Delight yourself in the Lord", and leave what He may or may not give you out of the "desires of the heart" category up to Him ... He's our perfect Father, and He alone knows what we do and don't need ... Amen

Perhaps these two links may be of some help ...


The Secular/Sacred Balancing Act
Otto J. Helweg
http://www.leaderu.com/real/ri0004/helweg.html

Work As Unto the Lord
by Larry Burkett
http://fm2.forministry.com/article.asp?record=1954


it's taken me some time but i'm finally here ...

Heb.13
[5] Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.

... and i have no doubt you will also... It's a very free place to be! ...


 2004/11/1 16:28Profile
Gideons
Member



Joined: 2003/9/16
Posts: 474
Virginia

 Re: On the Road to Death

Praise God Dyan,

You're on the road to death, which is a painful yet glorious place. I don't see at as strange though.

You're coming to a place where you ask this simple question "Jesus what is your agenda?" What do you want me to do with my time, where do you want me to go, who do you want me to speak to?

Your dissatisfaction is a clue that Jesus want you to dial into what He wants. My prayer is that as you continue to repent as the Holy Spirit exposes things in your heart, that you would fully submit to Him.

Here I am Jesus, what's your agenda for my life? And as I pray about your inquiry, the Holy Spirit quickened something He is telling me quite often these days which is to hold on closer to me, press in further. Jesus wants you to press Him closer to Him (He what he is calling to many including me in this season).

I wouldn't trust my words but confirm them in your prayer closet. Be of good cheer Dian, Jesus is drawing you closer to Him.



_________________
Ed Pugh

 2004/11/1 17:49Profile
dohzman
Member



Joined: 2004/10/13
Posts: 2132


 Re: Something Strange is Happening

I heard recently a person call into a christian radio program and express the same thing you're saying. I listened with some interest as the minister answered the person with religious words-----"walk in the spirit" --- but did nothing to explain it. The caller hung up ,I'm sure, disatisfied . This'll help ya. Doing the word of God is in eccense walking in the spirit.So as you learn the word of God, The God of the Word will help you to walk in obedience by His supply of daily mercy and grace. We are called to labor with our hands that we may meet the needs of those we see in life and in the church. Rember you'll never be more like Jesus than when you forgive and pray for those around you. And when you Love in practicle ways those who you come across in your day to day life. Christ in you----- give Him away.


_________________
D.Miller

 2004/11/1 18:13Profile
Yodi
Member



Joined: 2004/4/23
Posts: 663
Escondido, California

 Re: Something Strange is Happening

I agree with the balance. You've got the dying to self part down, but what about the alive in Christ part?

[i]"I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me."

- Galatians 2:20[/i]

There's still living going on here. We die so we can live. I think this is a good verse for the "blah" times,

[i]"The thief's purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give life in all its fullness."

- John 10:10[/i]

Don't focus on the stolen, killed and destroyed. Focus on God's purpose for you, which is a full, abundant life. Don't worry about the specifics yet. Just trust in the general until God brings to light specifically what He has planned for you. I believe purpose is preceded by a process. Take heart, God IS working!


_________________
Yolanda Fields

 2004/11/1 18:28Profile
Rahman
Member



Joined: 2004/3/24
Posts: 1374


 Re:



Excellent! ... excellent words of wisdom sister Yodi ...

"Just trust in the general until God brings to light specifically what He has planned for you. I believe purpose is preceded by a process. Take heart, God IS working"!

Yes Spitfire, and give Him thanks, praise and glory for the "general" also ... "Contentment, with Godliness is great gain" ... great gain!


 2004/11/1 19:00Profile
Spitfire
Member



Joined: 2004/8/3
Posts: 633


 Re:

My thanks to all of you for your replies. It must seem kind of funny watching me by my words, as I grow in grace and the knowledge of the Lord Jesus. I've never felt the way I feel right now. I know people are praying for me and I really appreciate that. I pray for you all, too. You know how we used to take hold of spiritual fads and run with them? Then, the whole thing would just fade away? I know that's not what this is. I believe this is something so real, more real than anything I've ever been a part of before. God is coming alive in me and it's a totally awesome thing, although frightening at times. My realizations of what I have been and not knowing how I can be anything else, that's scary. But my faith is in my Father who has chosen me. He will not fail me, I know! Love ya'll. Dian.

 2004/11/1 20:19Profile
moreofHim
Member



Joined: 2003/10/15
Posts: 1632


 Re: strange

Dian,

You are definitely on the right path!!!

I can totally empathize with you, and I tend to go along with Ed (gideons) because I had a period of terrible dissatisfaction (coming from brokenness and complete surrender to the will of God in my life). I went through a very long time of this. Others may think it is abnormal, but for the person whom God is calling to "come up higher"- it is necessary. He knows your spiritual capablities, He knows where He wants to draw you. He alone knows where 'self' starts and ends in you.

If you are truly wanting and are willing to die to all self, then He will have His way- and you will not be satisfied with ANYTHING that is not of Him. You will go through different phases of waiting. Even now, I am in place of waiting on God. I can have assurance that He is doing everything in His own time and even during the waiting, it can be such a time of blessing, learning patience and endurance.

Being one who is willing to surrender all dreams, all rights, all everything to the Lord- there are major adjustments that must come along with that. You are definitely on the right path. The path that other spiritual giants have taken. My prayers are with you as you continue this wonderful journey of becoming 'more of Him' :-) and less of yourself. I am convinced that He is doing a marvelous work in you- all for His glory!!! :-) Amen!!

In His perfect love, chanin


_________________
Chanin

 2004/11/1 21:38Profile









 Re: Something Strange is Happening

Dian,
when I read your initial post, and the sweet responses from the church, the body, I just had this overwhelming feeling in the Spirit, that God is doing and will continue to do a wonderous, joy-filled thing in your life, meaning, that its RIGHT before dawn. Something in your words, and the sweet whisper of the Spirit.
God bless you beloved sister.

Neil

 2004/11/1 22:42





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