I have no king but Jesus!
I am not sure if I have shared this here before...
That which deeply compels me towards God ...is a personal Divine revelation of God that He gave me.
That which deeply compels me towards God and drives me forward to Him...is the way He reached out to me in my darkest hour; He called me to Himself and put His seal upon me. I cannot put into words the Love that I felt come from Him...He gave me repentance to eternal life in Jesus Christ, and I gave Him my heart and the rest of my life in return. He gave me His Holy Spirit and wrapped me up in Himself.
A true saying: "God truly wants the repentance of man; He wants good works towards Him based on a loving personal relationship, not on good works based on a reliance of oneself
ones' ability to live holy by following a given set of rules and yes there is a difference."
The story begins with me coming home from the office one day. I was rather tired and just wanted to go and lay down. My wife stopped me at the door and looked at me and told me that my face was ashen and grey and that I needed to get myself to the hospital right away.
I wanted to ignore her but she wouldn't let me...there was a deep look of concern on her face that there was something terribly wrong, and she wasn't taking no for an answer. She informed me that if I did not get myself to the hospital and get myself checked out, that she was calling an ambulance and I wouldn't have any choice, and she just wouldn't leave me alone about it.
So, very begrudgingly I complied and went to the emergency ward. They checked me out and discovered that I was was having problems with my heart. They put me into intensive care right away, and I was not going home anytime soon.
I was in the first hospital for two days, before being transfered to the cardiac intensive care unit at the Royal Alexandra Hospital in Edmonton Alberta. You have to realize that there is a waiting list of around 20,000 people waiting to get into this cardiac unit because they specialize in what they do, and they only take you if you are close to death.
I was in cardiac intensive care at the Royal Alexandra Hospital for a week with major blockages in my heart. I was there an entire week because of the multiple tests they had to do to confirm that I had blockages. When all tests were positive, they had scheduled me for a angioplasty.
While I was on the operating table I cried out to God to forgive me for my sins, and for being a prodigal son, and told Him that if He made things okay I would raise my children to know Him.
They put a catheter into my right wrist and prepped me for the angiogram. They injected pain killers first. Then the device was fished through my viens and into my heart. They stopped at the entrance to my heart and injected dye so they could look inside my heart to see where the blockages were; the dye felt hot in my chest. It was at that moment that the surgeon shook his head in unbelief as he removed the angio device.
They (the cardiac team of doctors) stood there in disbelief at what just happened. There was not 50% blockage, not 30 not 20 not 5....there were NO blockages at all. My heart was totally healed right there on the operating table for all to see.
They refused to believe that there was nothing wrong with me...they refused to believe it because of the positive test results just prior to surgery. So they sent me for some more testing for a pulmonary emboli, where I had to beathe in radioactive isotopes and then xrays through some sort of scanner. Again...nothing.
Puzzled, they latter told me that I had the heart and lungs of a 19 year old. God totally healed me that day.
Although God had healed my body that day, I was still not completely brought to total surrender and repentance...I did not come to completely obey Him with repentance until He literally called me, of which I will explain.
I had originally wrote this down on Dec. 12, 2007 and I would like to share this here.
On December 12, 2007 I wrote the following:
I think I will keep this as brief as possible...to be honest I do not know were to begin. I am a believer, but have been away from God for a lot of years now...but in all this time I have never stopped believing in Him. God has always been in my thoughts, has always been near me.
It does not matter why I fell away, but what is important is that I do not miss out any more of my life without Him in it (me following Him).
Hello, my name is David, and I live in Northern Alberta Canada. The other day while on my way to work something happened...a couple of weeks ago now. I was crossing Hwy 43 at my usual crossing...now I usually just cross right over to the far lane if there is no traffic coming, but for some reason that morning I stayed in the near lane when I crossed the Hwy... something, perhaps someone, kept me in the near lane that morning.
...I didn't see it coming; it came out of nowhere.
A semi trator-trailer (tanker) hauling two tanks of fuel came flying past me. I don't know why I did not see it coming...I looked as I crossed the hwy and saw NO traffic coming, and so I proceeded in crossing. If I had done what I normally do in the morning on the way to work, and crossed into the far lane, it is most certain that I would not be alive today writing this to tell you about it.
What was so odd about that experience is that it had no affect on me emotionally. Normally I would have been freaked out by such an experience, heart pounding, hands shaking...but I remained calm...I came so close to death.
...that's not the only strange event that occured. I work in an office and sometimes I have to go out to meetings. Well, I was on my way to one of these meetings listening to the radio. Now I usually listen to 630 CHED talk radio in the mornings to catch the news. I had arrived at my destination and turned the radio off while I parked my car...it is what happened when I finished up my meeting that the second event occured.
The meeting was quick, in and out in ten minutes...I was picking up some drawings on a job I was tendering. Well, I got back into my car, drove out of the parking lot and turned the radio back on...only it wasn't the station I had it on. A Christian Radio station was on...and THAT is when I started to freak out!
At first I thought it was a mistake...that maybe I bumped one of the pre-sets or something...but no pre-sets had been set. I then thought, my hand must have hit the tuner by accident...but the station was tuned to 930 on the AM DIAL...I would have to had hit the tuner several times in either direction to get it over there. The car is electronic so the vehicle has to be turned on to change the station, so that rules out anyone breaking into my car and putting it on that station, and besides, I was only gone 10 minutes.
What was on the radio station was very interesting. I don't remember the name of the show, but it was a sermon about anger...that the anger of man does not do the righteousness of God. The speaker went on about the root causes and were it can lead to...needless to say this spoke to me in a very profound way!
It seems to me that God really wants me. Words fail me here, I am in tears writing this.
I started to pray again...
About the 2nd night from the event, at night while driving home from the city, I must have prayed though...I say this because something very powerful came over me...a spirit of repentance and crying out to God and turning back to Him. I started to weep uncontrollably, it felt like every nerve in my body, every ounce of my life's energy (spirit) cried out to God in one big energy burst that lasted well over 20 minutes...indiscribable!
So me following Him, is not because I decided to do so one day, I could not follow until he called me...which makes my calling to Him by election, and that not of myself...a calling on my life of His own unbounded love, grace and mercy, and not by my own effort that I made to come back to Him.
Nobody preached to me the gospel or reached out to me at all, God Himself called me back to Him...a prodigal son. I am one of the elect of God and I know it, having repented of my sins and turned away from them, and turned to the God of my salvation with a pure and undefiled heart.
...but He called me by election, and I am grateful that I know Him and that my name is written down in heaven.
Repentance has made me a broken man before God, humble and contrite in spirit and repented as I surrendered my life to Him.
It was summertime, in the cool of the evening when I was alone in my garden. It happened while I was on my knees digging around the raspberry bushes, while in prayer before the Lord.
I was overshadowed by the Presence of the Spirit of God.
In that moment I felt His deep love rest upon me... an indiscrible release and rapture in my spirit, accompanied by a peace and a joy unspeakable that only comes from the Holy Spirit...it felt as if my innocence was completely returned to me in that moment before God, and indeed it was, as the Blood of the Lamb was sprinkled over my sins.
It was in that moment, while the Spirit of God was upon me, that I humbly looked up into heaven and I worshipped Him who made the Heavens and the Earth. It was in that moment that I decided that I would love the God of heaven forever...I decided this, and I told Him so.
In that moment I understood the beauty of the Lord, His magnificence and His majesty; I felt my soul knit to the Lord. My soul loves Him above all else in this life, for He is my lot and my portion forever.
In that moment I understood Him in the depths of my spirit; I cried out to the one who formed me from the dust of the Earth and I said to Him...I will love you in my heart forever! I made my abode with Him, and He came into my heart and He made His abode with me.
My mind is continually upon Him...His anointing remains with me. I feel His Spirit continually drawing me...and my heart is tender and loves Him above anything else in this world. It is hard to put such things into words because these things are Spirit. I love Him in my very soul; in the very center of my being...I cannot explain it. I extol Him above all things as standing before Him.
I yield to your Spirit Lord Jesus, that I should love you in this way. I desire you above the love of women; my soul yearns and thirsts for you; I am born of you. I choose to love you in my heart, for you are beautiful to me, I love everything about you...your gentleness, your kindness, your long suffering, forgiveness and patience for me, the list goes on and on...Oh to worship you in your beautiful glory, in the beauty of holiness. Oh to behold you...how my soul is transformed into your image as I worship you...Oh to be as you are my Lord and my King. To be like you, to be called your son is the greatest gift and reward of love...to have your beautiful Holy Spirit in my soul changing me into your image. I have no King but Jesus!
My heart is tender and contrite...melted within me by the holy fire of God's love, as wax before the Flame. Oh how I love and extol the living God of heaven!! Oh how truly pleased I am with Him!!
With deepest humility I want to state how grateful I am that the Lord has saved me, and washed me from my sins, and that my name is written down in heaven!
With humility of spirit, meekness, unpretentiousness and modesty, I gladly accept your calling on my life oh love of my soul...with the joy and communion of the Holy Spirit.
Your word, your pure and holy word burns within me with indescribable and unquenchable fire and zeal; I love, worship and extol you oh living God of heaven...beyond all else in this life.
I have no King but Jesus!