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Discussion Forum : General Topics : Advice concerning Proverbs 24:24

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mguldner
Member



Joined: 2009/12/4
Posts: 1862
Kansas

 Re:

Interesting that you mention this because this has actually happened on occasion with my head pastor as far as talking with him, my dad tried talking with him as an individual and he got pretty mad, I talked to him as an individual and he seemed to get emotional as well. Again he talked with my dad and then told my dad he didn't say half the things he told me and that I took everything he said out of context. Who knew? :) Not only was this a big mess but my head pastor didn't listen to a lick of what was said.

My dad and I decided to have witnesses present anytime we addressed him because he seemed to listen better and also its harder for two to take things out of context. This worked the first time when addressing the issues already present but the second time was a huge mess when addressing a new issue.

My suggestion would be not to bypass what Scripture says rather find a witness that has seen and personally known the fits of rage and situation better than someone that is on the outside looking in. Family members tend to be a great witness in this case because they live with the person and are more likely to see the fits than the average person. Imagine an entire family coming to you telling you of their concern for fits of rage they have seen. Pretty hard to deny it I would think.

Something that I find interesting about the model Jesus gives is the final step taking the person before the church, with this we have to ask what or who exactly is the church? Historically we can say organized religion but I find that to be a poor definition. Personally I view the church as a body of believers that have intimate fellowship and friendship with one another. So again imagine family and friends coming to you saying they are concerned about your fits of rage. intimate friends are likely to see these fits at some point.

Ultimately I would stick to what the bible says but simply trying to find quality friends and family that know the situation and the problem and see it themselves coming together in prayer and Love for Christ to be Glorified. I hope that answered your question.

Psalm91 I am glad that you have received peace for this situation keep praying and keep seeking Christ Jesus and in everything Love.

God Bless,
Matthew


_________________
Matthew Guldner

 2010/5/19 8:25Profile
ginnyrose
Member



Joined: 2004/7/7
Posts: 7534
Mississippi

 Re:

God bless you, psalm91. I understand your dilemma quite well, although the offender is not my husband, the situation you and Matthew described is so close to one I am familiar with.

There is one more point I would like to share. And this is the importance of confession and apology to the victims of your wrath.

Sometimes it appears as though there has indeed been a change of heart in their attitude. Since this appears to be the case, you will drop your shield of caution only to find out later that what you had hoped for was not the case. By admitting to the victims your sin, you are acknowledging your damaging behaviours and how much pain you have inflicted upon them. This will enable the offender to more effectively work in becoming an overcomer.

People run into trouble when they work to defend their sin, no matter which one[s] it is. It creates barriers everytime. And the tragedy is when they will then accuse you of all manners of....simply because you refuse to approve of their sin.

BTW, mind if I ask one more question? Is there a possibility your DH is harboring unconfessed sin like immorality? or some other gross sin? Unresolved sin will motivate the offender to work on a cover-up (but failing miserably).

God bless you, psalm91. Will trust and pray that your DH will find deliverance from his hypocrisy, his anger, his bitterness, his wrath.

ginnyrose


_________________
Sandra Miller

 2010/5/21 0:45Profile
psalm91
Member



Joined: 2009/3/5
Posts: 10


 Re:

Ginnyrose,

You asked if my DH may be harboring unconfessed sin like immorality or some other gross sin. Not as far as I know. He is very moral in conduct and I praise the LORD for that as I am all too aware these days of the terrible things many husbands are bound to.

Thanks again for your encouraging words. I trust the LORD to work all this together for good and that He will make the changes necessary in both of us to make our marriage what He wants it to be for His glory! :)

 2010/5/22 7:17Profile
twayneb
Member



Joined: 2009/4/5
Posts: 2256
Joplin, Missouri

 Re:

Quote:
You asked if my DH may be harboring unconfessed sin like immorality or some other gross sin. Not as far as I know. He is very moral in conduct and I praise the LORD for that as I am all too aware these days of the terrible things many husbands are bound to.



psalm91: It is interesting that this was the last post in the thread as it turned in the direction that kept coming to my mind as I read this thread.

I noticed in my life as well as in the lives of my boys as I have raised them that anger and fits of rage seem always to have a deeper root cause. It is like these things are just the bubbling over of what is really boiling on the inside. There was a time in my life when there was bondage to some rather secret sins that I was struggling with. I was not running after these things, but my flesh desired them and I was continually falling in this area. The struggle was terrible, and I was continually on edge and flashed over regularly. To my wife and everyone around me I appeared to be totally moral even beyond all around me. I was the "model" Christian outwardly, yet this struggle continued inwardly. I have watched my boys and other men go through the same thing. If they are angry and irritable all the time, there is usually something behind it.

In my relationship with my wife, I have noticed that she often had the desire to step in and make things right so to speak. When I was angry it hurt her and she did everything she could to fix me so that she would not be hurt. I am not so sure this was wisdom. It led to more anger on many occasions. There is a place of peace and refuge in the Lord that you will have to find that will allow you to pray for and love your husband with the love of Christ in spite of himself. Sounds to me like you are coming to this place. I know you know this, but you cannot fix him, only God can do that. And God cannot do it without your husband's decision that it be so. Just continue to pray and to love. Let him understand that you are on his side in this thing. Persevere and let God do the work.


_________________
Travis

 2010/5/22 9:53Profile





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