Wowwwww brother Ron,
i was just praying to God about this very subject, my "discouragement", this morning on my way to work ... And bang! ... your post ...
My Utmost for His Highest
... is the very first thing i clicked on ... and wham! ... His answer to me ...
Individual Discouragement and Personal Growth
. . . when Moses was grown . . . he went out to his brethren and looked at their burdens
Point 1 - In the beginning Moses had realized that he was the one to deliver the people, but he had to be trained and disciplined by God first.
Point 2 - He was right in his individual perspective, but he was not the person for the work until he had learned true fellowship and oneness with God.
Point 3 - We may have the vision of God and a very clear understanding of what God wants, and yet when we start to do it, there comes to us something equivalent to Moses forty years in the wilderness. Its as if God had ignored the entire thing, and when we are thoroughly discouraged, God comes back and revives His call to us. And then we begin to tremble and say, "Who am I that I should go . . . ?
Point 3 is the one that really got me, for i was just saying to the Lord, "How come the harder i go after what i know you want of me, the more difficult and tedious my circumstances become"? ... And also, "How come when i'm ready to pack it all in, You come back and begin to speak to my heart again" ? ... i do understand the latter question because i know that it's when i come to the end of my "self" in His commision, that's when He can move me exactly as He wants ... But i have to admit that to me at times it's like a yo-yo effect, and i really don't much care for it, and then when the Spirit begins to unction me anew i say to Him, "i can't do it" ... And He says to me, "Precisely, but I can ... thru you" ...
i was just complaining to Him this morning about how it seems that so many of we saints today either have our heads so far up into the clouds that we are of no earthly use, and others of us have our heads so deeply buried in the earth that we are of no heavenly use ... Two extremes, both canceling us out as His salt and light in this world, and His having me in the middle proclaiming against both extremes, with no seeming effect at all other than getting both sets to murmuring against the messenger ... Now that can be very discouraging once i take my eyes off Him (being focused on Him), and start listening to the wind, and the waves (becoming focused on me) ... And that's why i was crying out this morning, "Lord ... Save me"! ... And then came Point #4 ...
Point 4 - We must also learn that our individual effort for God shows nothing but disrespect for Himour individuality is to be rendered radiant through a personal relationship with God, so that He may be "well pleased" ( Matthew 3:17 ). We are focused on the right individual perspective of things; we have the vision and can say, "I know this is what God wants me to do." But we have not yet learned to get into Gods stride. If you are going through a time of discouragement, there is a time of great personal growth ahead.
Lord Jesus i humbly pray you to "keep me" in your stride, even tho i'd rather run ...
And thank you Lord for sending brother Ron as a raven of sustenance in my wilderness this morning ... Amen